Animal Law

Cretaceous Law: Attorneysaurus Rex

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The battle between Mongolia and a Texas-based auction house over control of rare Tyrannosaurus bones is getting bigger. I’m telling you that when BBC gets around to making the documentary Walking With Dinosaurs And Their Attorneys, you’re going to want to watch it.

Let me bring you up to speed: Last month, Heritage Auctions tried to auction off a rare Tyrannosaurs bataar skeleton. The animal is believed to have lived in what is now Mongolia between 70 and 100 million years ago. And now its bones that are worth an incalculable amount to science can be sold for around a million dollars to private collectors. The auction has been held up though, thanks to a temporary injunction obtained by representatives of Elbegdorj Tsakhia, the president of Mongolia. They claim the skeleton was illegally taken away from Mongolia and want it returned. In response, the long dead Tyrannosaur said “AAAAHHHNNN,” and wondered why the opposable-thumbed ones insist on trying to own nature.

When we last we checked in, Heritage Auctions said it was working with Mongolian authorities to resolve the issue. But now the U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York and Homeland Security is involved(!!!).

Man, I wish Michael Crichton was still alive, because Triassic Terrorists is a novel that needs to be written….

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‘Dingo Ate My Baby’ Defense Actually Works!

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Is, is... is that a baby?

Now this is an Innocence Project.

An Australian coroner has ruled that a dingo really did eat Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton’s baby, over 30 years ago.

To put this in context, the line “a dingo ate my baby” comes from this case! This case was the basis for the movie A Cry in the Dark with Meryl Streep (though IMDB claims that the famous line was never actually spoken in this movie).

So Lindy Chamberlain-Creighton, the “dingo ate my baby” lady, has been vindicated! What a world. Next thing you know, dogs will actually start eating homework, and O.J. will find his ex-wife’s real killers.

How did we come to this?

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Custody Battle Costs Man His ‘Life Savings’ — We’re Talking About A Dog Custody Battle

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Knuckles, the pooch in question.

How far would you go, how much would you pay, in order to get your dog back?

One New York man is being forced to ask that question. He’s suing his ex-girlfriend to gain custody of his dog. She claims that he gave her the dog as a gift. He claims he left it with her when he was looking for a post-breakup apartment, and she absconded with it to California.

I claim pet custody issues should be handled in family court instead of like mere property cases….

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Morning Docket: 05.02.12

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Adriana Ferreyr

* Starting next year, if you want to be a lawyer in New York, you’re going to have to work for free. Because nothing says “we care” like indentured servitude. Thank God for law school clinic hours… maybe. [New York Times]

* Mo’ law schools, mo’ problems? That’s what Dean Wu thinks. Here’s a new trend to watch: UC Hastings, like other law schools, will be reducing its incoming class sizes. [USA Today]

* MOAR TRANSPARENCY! Support has been shown for the ABA’s proposed changes to law school disclosure requirements. All the better for those “sophisticated consumers,” eh, Judge Schweitzer? [ABA Journal]

* “Dogs are always happy to see you, no matter how you do on your Evidence exam.” Only real bitches would throw shade. Emory has joined the therapy dog pack for finals. [11 Alive News]

* In trying to dismiss a $50M suit against billionaire George Soros, his lawyer claimed that his ex would have had to suffer an “unconscionable injury.” Dude, she did. She banged an octogenarian. [New York Daily News]

* Ann Richardson, Associate Dean for Academic Affairs at the UDC School of Law, RIP. [Washington Post]

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Non-Sequiturs: 04.18.12

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Nooooooooo!

* I will never feel bad about making a typo ever again. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Hey law school students, get your hack on! [Huffington Post]

* Ann Romney doesn’t want to hear it, but there is a difference between working and working a paying job. [The Careerist]

* Should lawyers try journalism? I mean, sure. The job market in the industry is similarly crummy, and journalists make way less money than everyone except baristas and document reviewers. But it is a fun time, and it seems like most lawyers were journalism majors anyway. Go for it… [ Law and More]

* The Romney camp drops a bomb: Obama had a dog as a kid. Oh, wait. I misread that. Obama ate dog as a kid. Clearly, people who didn’t have the moral fortitude at six years old to reject the food their parents gave them are unfit to be president. [New York Post]

* Man, the presidential race is just at an apex of intellectualism today. Voters in Iowa just received a fundraising letter from Rick Santorum (who dropped out of the race, in case you just got out of prison), in which he wrote that Mitt Romney “truly frightens” him. Congratulations Rick, now you know how the rest of us felt about you. [ABC News]

* If you haven’t reserved your .xxx domain name yet, there is still time. They ain’t cheap, but I’m pretty sure ElieMystal.xxx is still available. Hell, who am I kidding. BikeDudeRomance.xxx probably is, too. [Law Technology News]

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Introducing the Law School Llama

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We’ve covered law school therapy dogs before, and the ATL staff seems a bit divided on the issue. David Lat commended Yale Law School for Monty the rent-a-stress-puppy.

On the other hand, Elie Mystal rained on the cute parade with liability concerns and other no-fun naysaying.

But today, a T14 law school is adding another animal into the finals stress relief mix. Introducing the law school llamas….

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Harvard Law Turkeys

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Elie’s Fables: Of the Turkey and the Law:

“Come into my house, feast on my knowledge” said The Law, “and you shall furnish a glorious future.”
“I don’t know if I should,” replied the Turkey, “but I have nothing better to do.”
Quickly the bird was seized by Law and prepared for slaughter.
“But you promised a glorious future,” said the Turkey.
“And I shall have one, thanks to the bounty you have provided,” said the Law.

Yes, it is Friday. And yes, I just spent three minutes making up a fable. And now, I present to you a frightened turkey running away from Harvard Law School while one HLS student shows characteristic ignorance about the natural world…

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PETA Offers to Spay and Neuter Tucker Max

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Over the past few days, we’ve been documenting debonair d-bag Tucker Max and his failed attempt to donate $500,000 to Planned Parenthood. Whether or not you think the organization should have accepted his money, you’ve got to at least give the man a hand for trying to do some good in this world — no matter his intentions.

That being said, another organization that is certainly worthy of Max’s half-million has stepped up to the plate. This organization wants Max’s money badly, so badly, in fact, that its executives have turned around to take it like a desperate dog in heat.

Which organization are we talking about? None other than PETA….

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More Evidence That Shooting Dogs Is A Way Bigger Deal Than Shooting Black People

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Which one looks more suspicious to you?

We live in a world where George Zimmerman is still walking around free, still carrying his gun, and thus still available to shoot other black teens that he might find “suspicious.”

But I bet if Zimmerman had shot somebody’s dog he’d have already been sued.

Last summer, I wrote about Thomas and Darren Russell, brothers who had their Labrador retriever shot dead by the police who came to search their house. An Illinois jury awarded them $333,000 for their loss.

Well, the price for shooting a dog is going up, while the consequence for shooting an unarmed black teen remains the same as it ever was…

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Morning Docket: 02.06.12

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* More law school graduates are trying to get their day in court for bankruptcy protection. Looks like these people didn’t read their student loan MPNs carefully (or at all). They state pretty clearly that you’re screwed for life. [Reuters]

* Part-time programs are closing their doors. Even Cooley Law took a hit, trimming its incoming class by one-third. Now, only 57 bajillion students get to attend the nation’s second-best law school. [National Law Journal]

* James R. Silkenat was selected as the president-elect at the ABA’s Midyear Meeting, meaning his ascension to the presidency is “virtually assured.” We can only hope that his leadership is as awesome as his combover. [ABA Journal]

* PETA’s Thirteenth Amendment whale slavery lawsuit is heading to court today in California. Maybe we’ll see if what SeaWorld calls a “baseless” and “offensive” lawsuit has got legs. Or flippers. [CNN]

* Polygamy for all! Kody Brown’s bigamy lawsuit will proceed in Utah thanks to Jonathan Turley’s lawyering. Are we going to see the drama play out on season three of Sister Wives this spring? [Associated Press]

* It turns out that Dr. Susan Friery, one of the Boston Globe’s beautiful Massachusetts lawyers of 2009, is just a doctor of laws. She was suspended for claiming otherwise late last week. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Joshua Monson, the suspected serial lawyer stabber, must regret this missed opportunity. While signing documents with his weapon of choice, he allegedly punched a corrections officer in the face. [Daily Herald]

* Patriots running back BenJarvus Green-Ellis, otherwise known as “The Law Firm,” was supposed to go to law school. And even even with that loss, it looks like he still picked the right career path. [New York Times]

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