Antonin Scalia

The Week in Review for one of the slowest news weeks in a while.

Justice Scalia is your man if you need assistance, Pope Francis.

Some of the week's big events in review.

* The D.C. Circuit has banned the import of Sodium Thiopental, putting a crimp in the plans of any state looking to administer lethal injections. This is where Delaware has it right… no one is going to outlaw rope. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Steve Cohen didn’t read 89 percent of his emails. In his defense, “I think I’m guilty of insider trading” and “I am a Nigerian Prince” are probably both getting caught by the spam filter. [DealBreaker] * Sequestration has put the pinch on the rights of indigent federal defendants to receive legal representation. But at least our airlines are shielded from hardship. [PrawfsBlawg] * “Just as Justice Scalia predicted in his animated dissent, by virtue of the present lawsuit, “the state-law shoe” has now dropped in Ohio.” [USA Today] * Wire Lawyer is running a competition among law school alumni to see which schools are the most technologically progressive. What do you know, people from Seattle and California are winning a technology competition. [Wire Lawyer] * Hall of Famers Art Monk and Darrell Green have joined the movement to get Washington to stop using the ‘Redskins’ name. [ESPN] * Bloomberg takes a look at the legal controversy brewing around unpaid internships. Video after the jump… [Bloomberg Law via YouTube]

* Supreme Court justices employ more strident language in dissents. We didn’t really need a study to prove that justices get salty when they lose. We could just watch Scalia invoke Godwin’s Law. [Washington Post]

* Last year, Ryan Braun, proclaiming innocence, successfully appealed his suspension for steroid use. Right now Braun’s appeal seems a bit disingenuous. [Sports Illustrated]

* Bipolar man who pretended to be a lawyer sentenced to three years. How will he pay off his fake law school debt? [New York Post]

* U.S. District Judge Daniel Hovland has enjoined North Dakota’s new abortion law. Turns out it wasn’t viable. [USA Today]

* In the wake of Hollingsworth, Modern Family star Jesse Tyler Ferguson forged his own modern family when he married lawyer Justin Mikita over the weekend. [Los Angeles Times]

* Rachel Jeantel, the controversial prosecution witness from the George Zimmerman trial, says the experience has inspired her to become a lawyer. That’s an unfortunate lesson to take from the trial. [Newsone]

* The most interesting thing about the decline of Biglaw is how long a completely nonsensical business model persisted. [Slate]

No, stupid, the Constitution isn't a living document -- at least Justice Scalia doesn't think it is.

* You’ve seen Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg give Justice Antonin Scalia the finger in prose, but now you can hear what it would sound like in operatic form as composed by a recent law school graduate. [NPR]

* The Fourth Circuit upheld Obamacare’s employer mandate against Liberty University, calling it a constitutional tax, just like the individual mandate. Now’s a perfect time for a sip of Campari. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The Fried Frank toner bandit was sent to the slammer, but alas, it’s unlikely that the firm will be able to recover any of its losses. Too bad, it could use the cash after its 2012 performance. [Am Law Daily]

* Crisis? What crisis? The dean of UC Davis Law refuses to trim class size, but that doesn’t really matter — the application cycle is handling the situation quite nicely. [Sacramento Business Journal]

* Pennsylvania’s Attorney General Kathleen Kane won’t defend the state against a lawsuit seeking to overturn its ban on same-sex marriage. She’s choosing the people over politics. [New York Times]

* With his trial quickly drawing to a close, George Zimmerman is growing increasingly worried about his future. Let’s face it, even if he’s acquitted, living in hiding isn’t a very good look for him. [ABC News]

* Who is the real John Roberts? Will he forever be known as health care reform’s savior, or the man who disregarded precedent to gut minority voting rights? Hell if we know, so we’ll let you be the judge. [Opinionator / New York Times]

* The man may be a mystery, but one thing’s for sure when it comes to Chief Justice Roberts: it’s fair to say that at this point, he’d sincerely appreciate it if his colleagues would kindly STFU during oral argument. [Big Story / Associated Press]

* Elena Kagan, a justice who was never a judge, is now being praised for her ability to put the law into terms that non-lawyers can understand. That’s a score for law professors everywhere. [New York Times]

* In terms of the Voting Rights Act, while the chances of the current Congress enacting a universal voting law are approximately nil, there are other effective avenues that could be taken. [New York Times]

* On Friday, the Ninth Circuit lifted the stay on gay marriages in California, and less than 24 hours later, Prop 8 supporters filed an emergency motion with SCOTUS to stop all of the weddings. Lovely. [NPR]

* Meanwhile, ex-judge Vaughn Walker thinks Justice Scalia’s having joined the high court’s majority on standing telegraphed the fact that he didn’t have votes to uphold Prop 8 as constitutional. [NPR]

* Rubber stamp this: Judges on the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court are so upset that they’re being made out as government patsies that they’re talking to the press about it. [Washington Post]

* Whether you think Chevron is “suing [Patton Boggs] lawyers for litigating” or for promoting fraud that “shocks the conscience,” here’s a summary of what’s going on in an epic case. [Washington Post]

* Got a high-profile criminal defense firm? Look out, because you may have captured Biglaw’s eye. Take, for example, Stillman & Friedman, which will be merging with Ballard Spahr. [New York Times]

* Apparently being in your mid-50s is a “good time to [retire]” for law deans who pull in six figures. Ken Randall, outgoing dean of Alabama Law, says he’s “really ready for the next challenge.” [AL.com]

How will history look upon the nine current members of the Supreme Court? And who is your favorite justice?

* Former Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez arrested. In other news, that Patriots offense was killing people last year. [NBC News] * Elie appeared on HuffPo Live to explain how today’s rulings changed his marriage. [Huffington Post Live] * For all the role-playing game nerds out there, a guide to the SCOTUS alignments. I’m not sold that Scalia isn’t “Lawful Good” and Alito “Chaotic Good,” but the point remains. [It's a Great Life If You Don't Weaken] * Aaron Zelinsky has a solution for the Supreme Court’s decision to strike down the VRA formula — force every jurisdiction to adhere to Section 5 preclearance. That would make way too much sense. [Concurring Opinions] * Iowa’s Supreme Sausage Fest to reconsider “irresistible attraction” ruling, which you may remember from stories like this or this. [On Brief: Iowa's Appellate Blog] * Ilya Somin on the strange bedfellows emerging on questions of standing. [Volokh Conspiracy] * Congratulations to Saccharomyces cerevisia, the newly minted Official State Microbe of Oregon. The bacteria is also known as “brewer’s yeast,” so it makes a lot of sense when Portland has the most breweries per capita in the country. [Lowering the Bar] * This judge makes important observations about rodent control. Or at least some clerk slipped footnote 5 in because Caddyshack deserves more legal citation. Unfortunately it does not conclude with, “By Order of this Court, We’re All Gonna Get Laid.” Opinion below…

What was it like to be at the Supreme Court this morning, when two major rulings on gay marriage were handed down? A report from SCOTUS columnist Matt Kaiser.

* “Screw all these other cases, man, we’re ready for the real stuff — you know… the gay stuff.” Damn, a satirical article that perfectly captures our thoughts. Don’t worry, it’s coming today. [The Onion]

* On a more serious note, this is obviously a really big day for gay marriage at the Supreme Court. Will the justices settle the score, or leave this movement’s supporters high and dry? [Wall Street Journal]

* Big Tech has always been a proponent of gay rights, and some of the most respected brands in America are hoping same-sex marriage doesn’t get the blue screen of death from SCOTUS. [Politico]

* Everyone else loses, but Scalia always wins. He couldn’t have asked for more after Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act was struck down. So long, “racial entitlements.” [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]

* “No, we’re not going to do layoffs. We’d never do layoffs. Everything is just fine. Seriously, we won’t do stealth layoffs either. Promise! Believe us, pretty please,” said the managing partner of every peer Biglaw firm after the Weil winnowing. [Am Law Daily]

* Law schools are freaking out about a new American Bar Association proposal to tighten their bar passage requirements, and they’re blaming all of their alarm on diversity issues. [National Law Journal]

* This state senator wins the award for most unique filibuster attempt ever. To block new abortion regulations in Texas, Sen. Wendy Davis spoke endlessly for 11 hours straight. You go girl! [CNN]

* Pop star Chris Brown was charged in a hit-and-run, and surprisingly, Rihanna had nothing to do with it. The new charges may affect his probation, and he might even go to jail. [Arts Beat / New York Times]

* Breaking news, Aaron Hernandez was just taken into custody at his home. Discuss. [USA Today]

This federal judge tells off Bryan Garner, Justice Scalia, and Judge Posner in one paragraph.

The Supreme Court just handed down its opinion in Fisher v. University of Texas at Austin, a landmark affirmative action case. What did the Court rule?

Today the Supreme Court issued three opinions. Listen up if you're a disaffected teenager, a felon with a gun, or someone who has signed an arbitration agreement.

The smallest justice may have the biggest net worth -- plus how the other eight stack up....

Justice Stevens defends the decision in Maryland v. King to an audience of folks who could not disagree more.

No affirmative action ruling today, but the Supreme Court did hand down an important criminal procedure decision.

Oh no he didn't! Watch Justice Scalia ladle out the sauce to Chief Justice Roberts.

Angelina Jolie took action to address her cancer risk. If the Supreme Court gets its act together, more women can follow her example.