ATL Idol

ATL Idol: Alex’s Farewell

avatar Alex ATL Idol.jpg[Ed. note: This is the farewell post of ALEX, who was recently eliminated from ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Alex's avatar (at right).]
Farewell, all. And thank you for everything — the support and the criticism.
This is a bitter-sweet moment. I was excited about the possibility of becoming the new editor, but I was also terrified.
There are minutes every hour where I enjoy being a lawyer, but usually I spend my time daydreaming about doing something else. Those daydreams, however, never entail an honest appraisal of the difficulties that confront every job, even the cool-sounding ones. So, naturally, when I read that ATL was looking for a new editor, I jumped at the chance. No hesitation.
I envisioned myself writing bon mots to an adoring audience of thousands, rarely taking more than a few hours out of each day to “work.” Tom Goldstein would invite me to his notorious sex parties, and MSNBC and Fox News would fight over having me on as a guest. Of course I wanted to be the new editor.
Blogging, however, is hard. Research, writing, deadlines, criticism. These were familiar stressors in unfamiliar waters. I felt like a first-year associate again. Sure, I would have improved, but blogging would have never been the cure to what ails me.
So I’ll continue to daydream and plot and scheme from the relative safety of my little biglaw office. I’ll leave the blogging to the pros. Good luck, Sophist and F&D.

avatar Frolic and Detour ATL Idol.jpg[Ed. note: This post is by FROLIC & DETOUR, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Frolic & Detour's avatar (at right).]
It’s puzzling that lawyers have a reputation as a bunch of thieving shysters. After all, we have to prove our character and fitness before joining the profession. Unlike, say, doctors, lawyers’ unique responsibilities demand high moral standards as well as professional skill. Only the pure in heart can be allowed to carry the briefcase.
Yes, 3Ls, for a mere $815 (0r more), expert bureaucrats will judge your moral merit. Along with the occasional white supremacist, state C&F committees weed out sinners great and small. Unpaid parking tickets? They’re on it. Remember that security deposit on your 1999 summer share? They do.
Maybe you didn’t think that a drunken tailgate from sophomore year would come back to haunt you. But we’ve already heard from several C&F veterans about the long-forgotten dramas that stood between them and their legal dreams:

I worked as a paralegal at a small New York firm in between college and law school. After six months, I got sick of picking up sushi and making copies, so I quit. The firm was furious that I was leaving, and they threatened to do whatever it took to keep me out of the bar. Sure enough, three and a half years later, they told California that I was a liar and not to be trusted. California admitted me anyway. Later in my career, I moved to New York. This firm again told the bar that I was a liar and made as much trouble as they could — almost six years after I quit.

I skipped a lot of class in high school and ended up with a bunch of Fs. I graduated from college with honors, then made it to a top-6 law school, with years of work experience along the way. I was 26 when I took the bar. C&F gave me huge problems over my high school academic record. They made me write a long apology and promise never to do it again. For real.

So readers, what vomit blotches stained your bar applications? How did you have to pay penance? Share in the comments or at frolicndetour.atl.idol@gmail.com, and we’ll discuss on Thursday.

avatar Sophist ATL Idol.jpg[Ed. note: This post is by SOPHIST, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Sophist's avatar (at right).]
With classes starting soon, another crop of 1Ls will be starting on a journey that has only one sure outcome: the accumulation of useless information devoid of any practical professional relevance.
Once you take away all of the prestige-whoring, grade-inflating shell games that allow top schools to separate you from your future earnings, can’t most law classes be reduced to an Emanuel’s outline and a BarBri lecture?
Which classes were the most irrelevant to the life of a Biglaw associate?

Today I’ll offer my worthlessness rankings on basic classes that most everyone was forced to take. Thursday I’ll open up the field and rank useless classes that ATL readers could have avoided, in a bold “Clarice Starling” attempt to save just one law school lamb from signing up for International Law.
But I’m about more than telling 1Ls that the next three years of their lives are pointless (though, really guys, totally pointless, just saying). I’ll be offering up alternative classes that might not be available at your local registrar, but that every Biglaw associate needs to take before leaving law school’s protective cocoon.
After the jump, see the classes worth sleeping through.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Back to School: What Is The Most Worthless Class You Had to Take?”

avatar Sophist ATL Idol.jpg[Ed. note: This post is by SOPHIST, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Sophist's avatar (at right).]
Next week, Louisiana will become the last state in the union to officially ban cockfighting. The business was already on the decline in Louisiana thanks to new federal laws that make transportation of roosters across state lines for fighting, a felony.
Still, defenders of the “sport” bemoaned the new law. “The culture, the custom of the Cajun people, it’s gone,” said Chris Daughdrill, a cock breeder from Louisiana.
When Oklahoma banned cockfighting, lawmakers there tried to make the sport more humane. Oklahoma State Senator Frank Shurden suggested fighting roosters be fitted with protective vests and boxing gloves. “We want to show the nation that we’re more than trailer parks and a perceived lack of sophistication,” Shurden said at the time.
Good luck with that Oklahoma.
Back in Louisiana, Elizabeth Barras, who has fought champion cocks for years, made an insightful point about the new Louisiana statute. “They’re still going to fight, they’re still going to fight for years to come,” she said. “They’ve still got cockfighting in every state. They just hide it from the law.”
Though we have achieved John Adams’ goal of a government of laws, those laws must still be enforced by men and women. A fact Elizabeth Barras knows all too well.

avatar Frolic and Detour ATL Idol.jpg[Ed. note: This post is by FROLIC & DETOUR, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Frolic & Detour's avatar (at right).]

Reno 911 sack inspection.jpgA man claiming to be a police detective entered a Longmont, Colo. adult store and demanded to see the X-rated videos for free.
The ponytailed man claimed he was an officer in the “age verification unit,” and he had to ensure that the performers in the porn videos weren’t underage.
“It was inventive on his part, I’ll give him that,” said the real police officer investigating the case.
Somehow, the video clerks weren’t convinced by the man’s business card, which had no name on it. Since the scheme didn’t work the first time, the man tried it a second and then a third time…at the same store. Unfortunately, Randal wasn’t there that day, and the clerks called the cops.
The man may drive a red Dodge neon, which explains why he isn’t getting laid.

avatar Marin ATL Idol.jpg
[Ed. note: This is the farewell post of MARIN, who was recently eliminated from ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Marin's avatar (at right).]

Marinheads:

Bad news. Our plot to take over ATL and transform it into a site about celebrities and my Jewish dog has failed. Mission aborted. Repeat, mission aborted. Return to the mother ship.

- Original Marinhead, a/k/a Mongoloid Marin, d.b.a Clay Aiken

ATL Idol: The Top Two

ATL Idol Above the Law Idol AboveTheLaw Idol smaller.jpgThanks to everyone who voted in Round 2 of ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” contest that will determine the next editor of Above the Law. The polls closed at noon. Once again, voter turnout was excellent, with over 2,200 votes cast (an increase from the 1,800 ballots cast in Round 1).
The results were interesting. In Round 1, the order of finish was (1) Marin, (2) Sophist, (3) Alex, and (4) Frolic & Detour. This time around, everyone traded places:
ATL Idol results Round 2.jpg
You never can tell what will happen each week in ATL Idol. That’s what makes the contest so exciting and fun.
Anyway, congratulations to SOPHIST and FROLIC AND DETOUR, your two finalists. One of them will be the ATL Idol, the next editor of Above the Law. We bid goodbye to MARIN and ALEX (who have been invited to pen farewell posts if they like, a la EXLEY).
Here’s what to expect from your ATL Idols this week:

  • a feature — i.e., a longer piece that will span multiple posts and days — starting tomorrow, and going through the week;
  • another head-to-head round, on Wednesday, to be reviewed by our celebrity judges; and
  • two freestyle posts, on Tuesday and Thursday, at least one of which must be Biglaw-related.
    And there may also be some surprise posts — but we’re not going to tell you about them, ’cause then they wouldn’t be a surprise.
    Check back soon, to read more from your fabulous Idols, and to see how the contest will end!
    Earlier: Prior coverage of ATL Idol (scroll down)

  • ATL Idol Above the Law Idol AboveTheLaw Idol smaller.jpgSee below. You know what to do.
    Voting for round 2 will end on MONDAY, AUGUST 11, at noon (Eastern time). The two contestants with the fewest votes will be eliminated, and the remaining two will duke it out in the final round.
    GOOD LUCK!!!


    Earlier: Prior ATL Idol coverage (scroll down)

    ATL Idol Above the Law Idol AboveTheLaw Idol smaller.jpgHappy Friday! You know what that means: time to hear from the celebrity judges in ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” competition in which you will select the next editor of Above the Law. And time to vote, when the polls open later today.
    Your judges need no introduction, but for the record:
    ATL Idol Judges AboveTheLaw Idol Above the Law Idol panel.jpg

  • Ann Althouse, Robert W. & Irma M. Arthur-Bascom Professor at the University of Wisconsin Law School, and author of her eponymous blog, Althouse;
  • Tom Goldstein, head of the D.C. litigation practice and co-head of the firm-wide Supreme Court practice at Akin Gump, and founder of SCOTUSblog; and
  • Dahlia Lithwick, senior editor of Slate (where she blogged at Convictions), author of two books, and a contributor to the New York Times and the Washington Post (among many other publications).
    See what they have to say about the contestants this week, after the jump.

    double red triangle arrows Continue reading “ATL Idol: The Judges Speak (Week 2)”

  • avatar Sophist ATL Idol.jpg[Ed. note: This post is by SOPHIST, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Sophist's avatar (at right).]
    Thanks to all who participated in rounds one and two of the Lionel Hutz Invitational. Today we crown the most unrealistic fictional attorney of the past 18 years (subject to other completely arbitrary disclaimers and conditions, stated and imaginary).
    The finalists share one thing in common; they represent clients far dumber than they.
    Congratulations to readers’ choice winner LeBron James. He played LeBron James on brain steroids in the popular commercial, entitled “I’m pretty sure we can get idiots to purchase water with food-coloring in it if we call it Super-Water.”
    Vote in the final poll after the jump.

    double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lionel Hutz Invitational: Bonfire of Horrors”

    Page 2 of 6123456