[Ed. note: This is the farewell post of ALEX, who was recently eliminated from ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Alex's avatar (at right).]
Farewell, all. And thank you for everything — the support and the criticism.
This is a bitter-sweet moment. I was excited about the possibility of becoming the new editor, but I was also terrified.
There are minutes every hour where I enjoy being a lawyer, but usually I spend my time daydreaming about doing something else. Those daydreams, however, never entail an honest appraisal of the difficulties that confront every job, even the cool-sounding ones. So, naturally, when I read that ATL was looking for a new editor, I jumped at the chance. No hesitation.
I envisioned myself writing bon mots to an adoring audience of thousands, rarely taking more than a few hours out of each day to “work.” Tom Goldstein would invite me to his notorious sex parties, and MSNBC and Fox News would fight over having me on as a guest. Of course I wanted to be the new editor.
Blogging, however, is hard. Research, writing, deadlines, criticism. These were familiar stressors in unfamiliar waters. I felt like a first-year associate again. Sure, I would have improved, but blogging would have never been the cure to what ails me.
So I’ll continue to daydream and plot and scheme from the relative safety of my little biglaw office. I’ll leave the blogging to the pros. Good luck, Sophist and F&D.
ATL Idol
[Ed. note: This post is by SOPHIST, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Sophist's avatar (at right).]
With classes starting soon, another crop of 1Ls will be starting on a journey that has only one sure outcome: the accumulation of useless information devoid of any practical professional relevance.
Once you take away all of the prestige-whoring, grade-inflating shell games that allow top schools to separate you from your future earnings, can’t most law classes be reduced to an Emanuel’s outline and a BarBri lecture?
Which classes were the most irrelevant to the life of a Biglaw associate?
Today I’ll offer my worthlessness rankings on basic classes that most everyone was forced to take. Thursday I’ll open up the field and rank useless classes that ATL readers could have avoided, in a bold “Clarice Starling” attempt to save just one law school lamb from signing up for International Law.
But I’m about more than telling 1Ls that the next three years of their lives are pointless (though, really guys, totally pointless, just saying). I’ll be offering up alternative classes that might not be available at your local registrar, but that every Biglaw associate needs to take before leaving law school’s protective cocoon.
After the jump, see the classes worth sleeping through.
Continue reading “Back to School: What Is The Most Worthless Class You Had to Take?”
[Ed. note: This post is by SOPHIST, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Sophist's avatar (at right).]
Next week, Louisiana will become the last state in the union to officially ban cockfighting. The business was already on the decline in Louisiana thanks to new federal laws that make transportation of roosters across state lines for fighting, a felony.
Still, defenders of the “sport” bemoaned the new law. “The culture, the custom of the Cajun people, it’s gone,” said Chris Daughdrill, a cock breeder from Louisiana.
When Oklahoma banned cockfighting, lawmakers there tried to make the sport more humane. Oklahoma State Senator Frank Shurden suggested fighting roosters be fitted with protective vests and boxing gloves. “We want to show the nation that we’re more than trailer parks and a perceived lack of sophistication,” Shurden said at the time.
Good luck with that Oklahoma.
Back in Louisiana, Elizabeth Barras, who has fought champion cocks for years, made an insightful point about the new Louisiana statute. “They’re still going to fight, they’re still going to fight for years to come,” she said. “They’ve still got cockfighting in every state. They just hide it from the law.”
Though we have achieved John Adams’ goal of a government of laws, those laws must still be enforced by men and women. A fact Elizabeth Barras knows all too well.
[Ed. note: This post is by FROLIC & DETOUR, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Frolic & Detour's avatar (at right).]
A man claiming to be a police detective entered a Longmont, Colo. adult store and demanded to see the X-rated videos for free.
The ponytailed man claimed he was an officer in the “age verification unit,” and he had to ensure that the performers in the porn videos weren’t underage.
“It was inventive on his part, I’ll give him that,” said the real police officer investigating the case.
Somehow, the video clerks weren’t convinced by the man’s business card, which had no name on it. Since the scheme didn’t work the first time, the man tried it a second and then a third time…at the same store. Unfortunately, Randal wasn’t there that day, and the clerks called the cops.
The man may drive a red Dodge neon, which explains why he isn’t getting laid.

[Ed. note: This is the farewell post of MARIN, who was recently eliminated from ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Marin's avatar (at right).]
Marinheads:
Bad news. Our plot to take over ATL and transform it into a site about celebrities and my Jewish dog has failed. Mission aborted. Repeat, mission aborted. Return to the mother ship.
- Original Marinhead, a/k/a Mongoloid Marin, d.b.a Clay Aiken
Thanks to everyone who voted in Round 2 of ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” contest that will determine the next editor of Above the Law. The polls closed at noon. Once again, voter turnout was excellent, with over 2,200 votes cast (an increase from the 1,800 ballots cast in Round 1).
The results were interesting. In Round 1, the order of finish was (1) Marin, (2) Sophist, (3) Alex, and (4) Frolic & Detour. This time around, everyone traded places:

You never can tell what will happen each week in ATL Idol. That’s what makes the contest so exciting and fun.
Anyway, congratulations to SOPHIST and FROLIC AND DETOUR, your two finalists. One of them will be the ATL Idol, the next editor of Above the Law. We bid goodbye to MARIN and ALEX (who have been invited to pen farewell posts if they like, a la EXLEY).
Here’s what to expect from your ATL Idols this week:
And there may also be some surprise posts — but we’re not going to tell you about them, ’cause then they wouldn’t be a surprise.
Check back soon, to read more from your fabulous Idols, and to see how the contest will end!
Earlier: Prior coverage of ATL Idol (scroll down)
See below. You know what to do.
Voting for round 2 will end on MONDAY, AUGUST 11, at noon (Eastern time). The two contestants with the fewest votes will be eliminated, and the remaining two will duke it out in the final round.
GOOD LUCK!!!
Earlier: Prior ATL Idol coverage (scroll down)
Happy Friday! You know what that means: time to hear from the celebrity judges in ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” competition in which you will select the next editor of Above the Law. And time to vote, when the polls open later today.
Your judges need no introduction, but for the record:
See what they have to say about the contestants this week, after the jump.
[Ed. note: This post is by SOPHIST, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the "reality blogging" competition that will determine ATL's next editor. It is marked with Sophist's avatar (at right).]
Thanks to all who participated in rounds one and two of the Lionel Hutz Invitational. Today we crown the most unrealistic fictional attorney of the past 18 years (subject to other completely arbitrary disclaimers and conditions, stated and imaginary).
The finalists share one thing in common; they represent clients far dumber than they.
Congratulations to readers’ choice winner LeBron James. He played LeBron James on brain steroids in the popular commercial, entitled “I’m pretty sure we can get idiots to purchase water with food-coloring in it if we call it Super-Water.”
Vote in the final poll after the jump.
Continue reading “Lionel Hutz Invitational: Bonfire of Horrors”




