Elie Mystal
Posts by Elie Mystal
-
Courts
Ninth Circuit Doesn't Buy Nearly Naked Barista 'Empowerment' Argument
Apparently being naked and serving coffee is frowned upon in this establishment. -
Government
Did Federal Programs Lawyers At DOJ Just Nope Out Of Further Embarrassment Over The Census?
Attorney General switches out the legal team... maybe career DOJ lawyers finally reached their humiliation limit? - Sponsored
How Generative AI Will Improve Legal Service Delivery
Learn how emerging tools will likely change and enhance the work of lawyers for years to come in this new report. -
See Also
Is This Thing On? -- See Also
LET’S CHECK IF ANYBODY IS HERE TODAY: Kim Kardashian’s casebook is?
WAIT, SOMETHING REALLY IS WRITTEN ON THE BACK OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE? Nic Cage was… right?
DOJ WHIFF: DOJ admits this Census thing is all a farce.
AT LEAST WALL STILL ISN’T HAPPENING: Ninth Circuit blocks WALL again.
YOU’RE RACIST FOR CALLING ME A RACIST: Argument benchslap.
-
Courts
Oh Yeah, The Wall Is Still Not Happening
Ninth Circuit upholds injunction against wall building. -
See Also
Happy Tank Of July -- See Also
Ed. note: Above the Law will be off tomorrow, because we don’t work on days when America throws a party styled after tyrannical militarist regimes.
THIS TAX RETURNS CASE COULD BE BAD: We’re gonna burn the whole thing down, instead of just impeaching the president.
ADVERSE POSSESSION FAILURES ARE THE BEST: This one involves a Corvette.
LATHAM COULD BE BOOTED OFF OF AUNT BECKY’S CASE: It’s a… full house of conflicts.
UNNECESSARY COURT APPEARANCES MAKE MONEY: I mean, not for clients. It’s kind of the opposite for clients.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO YOURSELF AT 14: Brian Cuban has some good advice. I’d tell my 14-year-old self: “You think this Iraq War is stupid, just wait till the next one.”
-
Courts
House Democrats And Trump Both Willing To Piss On Constitution To Avoid Impeachment
We're asking the Supreme Court to wreck things in order to get/hide Trump's taxes. -
See Also
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em -- See Also
LEGALIZE ALL DRUGS: Says the kind of conservative who wants to write for Above the Law.
KAVANAUGH’S QUID PRO QUO: Defend Kavanaugh, get a job with Kavanaugh.
DID ROY MOORE FAIL HIS POLYGRAPH? I mean, maybe? Does it matter? Probably not to “Christian” conservatives.
WHAT’S THE LARGEST FIRM WITH THE MOST WOMEN LAWYERS? Sorry, I mean what’s the largest firm I’ve actually heard of?
WHAT’S THE NUMBER ONE BIGLAW SHOP FOR SPORTS LAW? I know this because I almost worked there after law school.
-
Courts
Kavanaugh's Clerkship Quid Pro Quo Continues
Another Yalie gets a Kavanaugh clerkship after doing Kavanaugh a solid. - Sponsored
Legal AI: 3 Steps Law Firms Should Take Now
If 2023 introduced legal professionals to generative AI, then 2024 will be when law firms start adapting to utilize it. Things are moving fast, so… -
See Also
On Busing -- See Also
JOE BIDEN’S ANSWER ON BUSING IS BAD: When your opponent is on the side of Thurgood Marshall, and you’re on the side of Jesse Helms, you’re losing the argument.
WE STILL HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE CENSUS: Listen to your friend, Larry Tribe.
HERE’S A KIM KARDASHIAN-ADJACENT STORY: This is a good piece about trademarks that some will read hoping there are Kim Kardashian underwear photos in it, and you will not be disappointed, either way.
DACA IS BACK ON THE TABLE: Conservatives are so red-assed about Roberts right now that they going to punish kids.
BOUTIQUES FOR YOUR STARTUP: Law firm boutiques, that is.
-
Joe Biden's De Jure v. De Facto Segregation Problem: Explained By A Black Person
We still have segregation TODAY and it's not clear that Biden is going to be against it. -
Courts
Supreme Court Will Hear DACA Appeal, Just In Time For The Election
And here I thought they were going to dodge this. -
Courts
Supreme Court Attempts To Lock-In Minority White Rule
By ruling political gerrymandering non-justiciable, the Court creates a way forward for the coming white minority. -
Courts
John Roberts Sends The Citizenship Question Back To Commerce For More Whitesplaining
We finally have a Supreme Court decision that recognizes that Donald Trump is the president.
Sponsored
This AI-Powered Document Tool Will Meet You Where You Are
Profit Powerhouse: Elevating Law Firm Financial Performance
Legal AI: 3 Steps Law Firms Should Take Now
Sponsored
How Generative AI Will Improve Legal Service Delivery
Early Adopters Of Legal AI Gaining Competitive Edge In Marketplace
-
Politics
Democrats Will Get To Ask Mueller Directly Why He Won't Do Their Job For Them
Mueller will submit to the Congressional subpoenas, but that doesn't mean he'll say anything. -
Politics
Emoluments Lawsuit Trundles On
Judge clears away latest hurdle thrown up by the Trump administration. -
-
See Also
How Do You Rank Law Schools? -- See Also
RANKING LAW SCHOOLS IN A TIME OF TRUMP: Should a “good” job include doing social good?
DON’T GET ME WRONG, I STILL REMEMBER THE RECESSION: So do career services deans.
THE KEY IS TO NOT SOUND LIKE CASS SUNSTEIN: You don’t want to be proposing neoliberal solutions in the age of Trump.
MEANWHILE, BACK IN MAGA LAND: The Department of Justice is, in a way, worse than Somali Pirates.
PROFESSOR FILES RACIAL DISCRIMINATION SUIT: Against law school and former dean.
-
Courts
Elena Kagan Makes The Washington Racial Slurs A Little Less FUCT'd
Important First Amendment ruling from the Supreme Court is probably right, unfortunately. -
Law Schools
Everything Wrong With Our 2019 Law School Rankings
Neoliberal era rankings in a Donald Trump world -
See Also
Christ -- See Also
IN THE LONG RUN, WE’RE ALL DEAD: I know this is a site about law, but Jesus Christ, we’re close to starting a wag-the-dog war.
ATTORNEY CLAIMS FORGERY WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING: Who among us hasn’t accidentally forged a judge’s name on a court order?
KAGAN IS NOT IMPRESSED: The conservative revolution continues.
I GUESS SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE NEED TO FIND JOBS TOO: Apparently, we had some guy write an entire column for us about helping former clerks get jobs. Because, you know, these are the people whose futures I’m supposed to be very concerned about.
WIFE CHARGED IN PARTNER MURDER: She hasn’t entered a plea yet, but her attorneys maintain her innocence.