Joe Patrice

  • iStock_000030388954_Large

    Biglaw, Bonuses

    Associate Bonus Watch: Yet Another Firm Matches Simpson

    Biglaw firms are falling all over themselves to hand out money today.

    27 Comments / / Nov 21, 2014 at 6:12 PM
  • Cooley Law Logo USE

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.21.14

    * A breakdown of Thomas M. Cooley’s bar passage rate. It’s… about as depressing as you’d expect. [Third Tier Reality]

    * Rapper being prosecuted on the argument that he benefitted from gang activity because the gang’s exploits made his rap music more popular. What the hell? [Popehat]

    * The state of the clerkship hiring process gets mixed reviews from Yalies. [Yale Daily News]

    * UNC is looking for a new dean. You know, if you’re interested in becoming a dean. [The Faculty Lounge]

    * The Flash and res ipsa loquitur. [The Legal Geeks]

    * Fun fact: people interested in the law also seem to love anchovy paste and Destiny’s Child. At least in the U.K. [Legal Cheek]

    * The Marshall Project, a nonprofit, nonpartisan news organization devoted to criminal justice reform, just went online. Check ‘em out. [The Marshall Project]

    * Don’t overdo it when you go about “thinking like a lawyer.” [Law and More]

    * The long-running, racist soap opera in Manhattan state court takes a new turn. After playing a key role in the events that led to the ouster of the top aide to the New York County Clerk, Justice Milton Tingling has applied to be the new New York County Clerk. [WiseLaw NY]

    * In light of Speaker Boehner’s new lawsuit over Obamacare, this is a good time to look back at this interview with Laurence Tribe evaluating Boehner’s chances. [Coverage Opinions]

    15 Comments / / Nov 21, 2014 at 5:16 PM
  • U.S. News 2015 Law School Rankings

    Quote of the Day

    Law School Slashes Students To Game U.S. News Rankings

    Everything wrong with the U.S. News ranking methodology in one post.

    37 Comments / / Nov 21, 2014 at 2:08 PM
  • iStock_000030388954_Large

    Biglaw, Bonuses, Money

    Bonus Season Comes Early! (And It’s Not Cravath)

    We have our first Biglaw bonus announcement. Let the games begin!

    55 Comments / / Nov 21, 2014 at 11:26 AM
  • Manson

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.20.14

    * Charles Manson is getting married. Have folks uncovered his registry yet? Or is this just hilarious trolling? [Lowering the Bar]

    * No, Tim Tebow did not get arrested soliciting a prostitute, no matter what your Facebook feed tells you. It’s obviously false. I watched his pro career, he can’t score for money. [Snopes]

    * Remember the lawyer who dressed up like Thomas Jefferson and declared himself “incompetent” at his own disciplinary hearing? Well, now we have video of this insane argument. [Above the Law]

    * Take the quiz: Drug or Pokemon character. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * Prosecutor wants to withdraw evidence rather than reveal how the cops got it. That doesn’t sound shady at all. [Slate]

    * Professor Richard Sander keeps riding that “affirmative action is bad because it lets in dumb (minority) kids” train. [TaxProf Blog]

    * Shearman & Sterling partner Richard Hsu interviews Tae Hea Nahm, a former partner at Wilson Sonsini who moved from law to venture capitalism. [Hsu Tube]

    * Bloomberg BNA launches a new product, Bloomberg Law: Banking, to provide legal and business intelligence for banking professionals. [Bloomberg BNA]

    * Buffalo attorney Alfonzo Cutaia took time lapse video of the Lake Erie lake effect from his office window. It’s gone viral, and it’s pretty clear why. That’s some messed up weather right there. [YouTube]

    9 Comments / / Nov 20, 2014 at 5:01 PM
  • mike-tyson

    Quote of the Day

    Inspirational Lawyering Advice From Mike Tyson

    What does Mike Tyson think is more important than money when it comes to lawyers?

    3 Comments / / Nov 20, 2014 at 2:36 PM
  • Myron May

    Crime

    Alleged FSU Shooter Was A Former Biglaw Associate

    Reports link a lawyer to the FSU school shooting this morning.

    28 Comments / / Nov 20, 2014 at 2:06 PM
  • Scalia

    Law Revue, Supreme Court, Videos

    Justice Scalia Sings ‘Pour Some Souter On Me’ In This Harvard Parody

    Justice Scalia has the right to bear an electric guitar — or at least a Guitar Hero prop — and diss his fellow justices in this number.

    4 Comments / / Nov 20, 2014 at 12:08 PM
  • sad lawyer LF

    Law Schools

    If That’s How The Administration Feels, Imagine The Students

    Typos can be powerful Freudian slips offering a window into the psyche.

    25 Comments / / Nov 20, 2014 at 11:10 AM
  • stripper_heels_g7

    Contract Attorneys, Department of Justice, Document Review, Immigration, In-House Counsel, Labor / Employment, Legal Ethics, Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.19.14

    * First the cheerleaders went after their employers in wage and hours suits. Now strippers. And the strippers are winning. [Slate]

    * Prince Harry’s ex, Chelsy Davy, has left her Biglaw gig as an Allen & Overy associate. So that’s what happens when you lose the real-life version of I Wanna Marry Harry. [Legal Cheek]

    * Despite the shrill response on cable news, President Obama’s executive action on immigration will be totally legal. [New Republic]

    * DOJ seeks to disqualify anyone who knows about all the DOJ’s misconduct. Clever trick! [New York Observer]

    * If you’re doing contract work, you could stave off the boredom or you could go the failed mobster route and be a rat. [Law and More]

    * Somewhere along the line, obvious puffery turned into false advertising suits and it’s costing some companies big bucks. [Corporate Counsel]

    * The latest in litigation financing: crowdfunding your lawsuit. [TechCrunch]

    10 Comments / / Nov 19, 2014 at 5:27 PM
  • The Jones Day SCOTUS clerks: they are young and cute, aren't they?

    Biglaw, SCOTUS, SCOTUS Clerks Are Fair Game, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Clerks

    Jones Day Does Not Have A Sense Of Humor

    The firm sends a stern rebuke to ALM objecting to their coverage. And it’s hilarious.

    50 Comments / / Nov 19, 2014 at 4:34 PM
  • All hail the Hypnotoad

    Attorney Misconduct, Legal Ethics, Sex, Sexual Harassment

    Lawyer Accused Of Hypnotizing Clients Into Sex Acts

    You may not believe this headline, but you have to read the disciplinary filing.

    28 Comments / / Nov 19, 2014 at 1:12 PM
  • soccer ball world cup

    Law Professors, Non-Sequiturs, Rape, Sports

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.18.14

    * We are coming to Chicago, and we’d love to see you at our event on Thursday night — RSVP here. [Above the Law]

    * Wait, FIFA may be dishonest? Kirkland partner Michael Garcia announces plans to appeal after FIFA releases ethics report on the Russia and Qatar World Cup bidding process that contains “numerous materially incomplete and erroneous representations of the facts and conclusions.” And he should know since he worked on the investigation. [Am Law Daily]

    * Behold the all-purpose citation! [Lowering the Bar]

    * Regarding yesterday’s crazy “woman sues the owner of the dog that her dogs killed,” an astute reader notes that a year ago, the Texas Supreme Court limited damages in pet deaths to “animal’s market worth.” So in the interest of reining in damages, the courts gave the victim less incentive to sue than the owner of the perpetrators. Sounds like a great system there. [Dallas Morning News]

    * The holidays are around the corner. Get that special lawyer some prints of courthouses around the country to spruce up their office. [Courthouses of America]

    * Wow. California school district argues that 14-year-old girl could legally consent to sex with her teacher because, I mean, come on, we all knew she was a slut. This happened. In 2014. [Slate]

    * Advice that should go double for lawyers: sometimes you really just need to drop acid to clear your head. [What About Clients?]

    * Professors who refuse to retire are the worst. [TaxProf Blog]

    27 Comments / / Nov 18, 2014 at 5:04 PM
  • 220px-Winterfresh5

    Intellectual Property, Trademarks

    Wrigley Opposes The Trademark ‘WTF’

    Wrigley seeks to protect its stale, dry gum from Internet slang….

    12 Comments / / Nov 18, 2014 at 2:00 PM
  • "Dating Coach" Julien Blanc

    Free Speech, Racism, Romance and Dating, Sexism, Sexual Harassment

    Pick-Up Artist Gets Hilariously Scathing Legal Rebuke

    “Julien Blanc may bully Japanese girls, but he will not bully our client.”

    67 Comments / / Nov 18, 2014 at 11:54 AM
  • alcohol and sorrow

    Drinking, Federalist Society, Murder, Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.17.14

    * ADA complaint filed by former TV anchor fired for drunkenness. On behalf of the ATL staff, we’re watching this one closely. [Chicagoland Radio and Media]

    * Some of these made their way into the pages of Above the Law before, but this is an excellent compilation of “12 Unbelievable Courtroom Moments Caught on Tape.” [Robert Reeves Law]

    * Rhinos, sharks, and the Secretary of Commerce walk into an Elie post… [Redline]

    * A look back at FedSoc’s 2014 National Lawyers Convention. It sounds like it ended with Bailey’s and hot chocolate with Justice Don Willett, so that can’t be bad. [Wonkette]

    * Butthurt police detective suing defense lawyer for criticizing the investigation. [Washington Post]

    * BP argues that fining them more than they’re willing to pay for poisoning the Gulf of Mexico would be “legal chaos.” As opposed to that regular chaos of dumping millions of barrels of oil into the water and getting a slap on the wrist for it. [Breaking Energy]

    * Banker with ties to Linklaters, Skadden, and Latham & Watkins awaiting trial for murdering two prostitutes in Hong Kong. Just go ahead and put whatever American Psycho joke you think of here. [Roll on Friday]

    * Should litigation financing be disclosed? [Litigation Funding Central]

    * A collection of stories about the diversity issues at Harvard Law School. Sounds like a delightful place if you’re white, male, and heterosexual. [Socratic Shortcomings]

    10 Comments / / Nov 17, 2014 at 5:02 PM
  • pitbull-dog-breed_1407310327

    Animal Law

    Woman Suing Owner Of Dog Killed By Her Dogs For $1 Million

    This takes some gall. And some stupidity.

    46 Comments / / Nov 17, 2014 at 3:17 PM
  • Morgan Lewis small

    7th Circuit, Antonin Scalia, Crime, Football, Non-Sequiturs, Religion, Richard Posner, Supreme Court, Technology

    Non-Sequiturs: 11.14.14

    * Morgan Lewis approves the Bingham deal, with 227 of the roughly 300 Bingham partners moving over as full partners. Morgan Lewis is calling it a “mass lateral move,” which is the nice way of telling the remaining 70+ partners (and whatever associates and staffers they don’t care to include) to enjoy early retirement. [American Lawyer; WSJ Law Blog]

    * A follow up report on the horrific story of the lawyers accused of stabbing a managing partner and his wife. [Washington Post]

    * Justice Scalia realizes that strict constructionists are just jerks. [The Onion]

    * When the title of the story uses the phrase “super-drunk judge”… [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

    * Judge Posner took a detour into Jewish theology, apparently based on scholarly research from “Google” and “Wikipedia.” In his defense though, he thought he was citing the well-known Hebrew texts of “Elgoog” and “Aidepikiw.” [The Jewish Daily Forward]

    * It may sound like a terrible horror movie, but “Darkhotel” is actually a campaign of cyberattacks against business executives logging in from their high-end hotels. [Internet, Information Technology & e-Discovery Blog]

    * Um, Florida State may care so much about their (number 3) football team they gloss over criminal activity. And this article is NOT about Jameis Winston. [New York Times]

    * Linda Greenhouse. Damn. “In decades of court-watching, I have struggled — sometimes it has seemed against all odds — to maintain the belief that the Supreme Court really is a court and not just a collection of politicians in robes. This past week, I’ve found myself struggling against the impulse to say two words: I surrender.” [New York Times]

    * If you’re in L.A. tonight, check out the 6th Annual Justice Jam, celebrating “A Tradition of Advocacy” at 5:30 p.m. at La Plaza De Cultura y Artes. The event benefits Community Lawyers, Inc., an organization working to promote access to affordable legal services for low- and moderate-income individuals. [Community Lawyers, Inc.]

    14 Comments / / Nov 14, 2014 at 5:04 PM

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