Posts by Joe Patrice
Your brain wants to see what pure advertising insanity looks like.
* “Pay up or the cat gets it!” is an entirely acceptable means of collecting judgments in Russia. Because of course it is. [Lowering the Bar]
* Mayonnaise manufacturer has dropped its stupid lawsuit over the definition of “mayonnaise.” Litigation dollars well spent. [Slate]
* North Korea hacks finally hit trend-chasing lawyers where it hurts. [Twitter]
* The California bar exam pass rate took a big hit. But big shifts in bar passage are not new in California historically. [Bar Exam Stats]
* Number crunchers conclude that in the UK, people hire expensive lawyers more than successful lawyers. [Legal Futures]
The adage that law turns slowly does not hold in eDiscovery. This year saw unprecedented sanction awards for falling behind the curve. Courts did not hesitate to engage with advanced and nuanced technological issues. For lawyers and other eDiscovery professionals who plan on maintaining basic competence, these cases and trends shouldn’t be overlooked. For a full exploration of trends and developments in this area of case law, check out this on-demand webinar.
He worked for a president who liked to get blowjobs; now Boies defends a film studio joking about them.
* Still looking for a great gift for your assistant? Corporette presents their annual secretary gift guide! [Corporette]
* Associates are super excited about their shiny — but discretionary — bonuses. Note that base pay hasn’t taken a similar leap. Thanks for throwing a wet blanket on the season. [Law and More]
* Who are the new lawyers in Congress? Mike Sacks profiles them. [National Law Journal]
* The law firm trying to kill the internet is Jenner & Block. That’s unfair — the law firm employed by people trying to kill the internet is Jenner & Block. And they’re willing to write a whole letter and make a state Attorney General just sign it! That’s some pull. [The Verge]
* At this special time of year, let’s remember who this season is all about: pagans. [What About Clients?]
* U.S. District Judge Algenon L. Marbley just resigned to settle an ethics probe. Not as a federal judge of course, but as a trustee to THE Ohio State University. The Ohio Ethics Commission raised issues with Judge Marbley serving as a trustee while simultaneously teaching as an adjunct at the law school. [Columbus Dispatch]
* Brad and Da Boyz with a nice little ditty about copyright infringement and fair use. [YouTube]
The only thing missing in these pictures are a couple of assistant deans having a money fight with tuition dollars.
* 3D printing and lightsabers and intellectual property. [Concurring Opinions]
* Speaking of IP law, let’s talk Santa Claus and intellectual property. [Trademark & Copyright Law Blog / Foley Hoag LLP]
* “ExamExtensionGate” stirs up conservatives, but also a lot of liberal to moderate Boomers, because… “Lazy Millennials!” Forgetting of course that law students in the 1960s did the exact same thing. But those were mostly white kids talking about Vietnam, so it’s like… different, man. [PrawfsBlawg]
* If you’re excited to hear this year’s annual report on the federal judiciary and can’t hardly wait until Chief Justice Roberts unleashes it upon the world, perhaps you can sate your appetite with this prebuttal. [Fix the Court]
* More than 70 years later, a judge concludes that South Carolina shouldn’t have executed a 14-year-old based on a one-day trial. Took ya long enough. [WTOP]
* Interesting academic piece on Muslims in the Antebellum South. In other news, there were Muslims in the Antebellum South. [The Faculty Lounge]
* Rudolph sues for discrimination. This is why you should always let guys play in your reindeer games. [Bolek Besser Glesius LLC]
* Hot damn, Keith Lee. “ABA 509 Matriculant Data On All Ranked Schools.” That’s… wow. [Associate’s Mind]
* The Senate torture report may be an ugly, but there’s an argument that it hides a silver lining. [What About Clients?]
* What isn’t the D.C. Circuit doing today? [Constitutional Accountability Center]
* Bill O’Reilly invites on an “HLS student” — who is also a conservative commentator — to say a bunch of racial codewords under the guise of exam extensions. Look, I wouldn’t ask for an exam extension if my leg were caught in a bear trap, but you know what? I couldn’t care less if other people got extensions. Quit your whining (and appearing on TV) and go study for your own damn self! [Fox News]
Take our quiz and test your knowledge of one of the most crucial aspects of legal tech: Ediscovery.
* Law firm suffers Viagra hack. If it persists for more than four hours… [Legal Cheek]
* An in-depth and frightening look at “Witness 40″ in the Ferguson Grand Jury proceedings: a bipolar woman with a long history of making racist comments who lived nowhere near Ferguson and testified only after Officer Wilson’s story was revealed — which she parroted back. Bob McCulloch thought this was a stellar witness. Bob McCulloch is also bad at his job. [The Smoking Gun]
* Charleston local government wants InfiLaw out of town. Is there anyone left who wants InfiLaw to take over Charleston? [TaxProf Blog]
* Congratulations to U.S. Attorney Sarah Saldaña on her confirmation as head of ICE. [International Business Times]
* Pet piercing will soon be illegal in New York, so get that dope nose ring for your dog today! [Lowering the Bar]
* Canadian “band” Skinny Puppy demands $660,000 from the U.S. government for using their music as torture material without permission. As a compromise can we just pledge to strap Dick Cheney down and force him to listen to 15 consecutive hours of Skinny Puppy and call it a day? [Gawker]
* Cleveland WR Andrew Hawkins pens a thorough, even-handed takedown of butthurt police union leaders demanding he apologize for taking the stance that police should try not to kill unarmed 12-year-olds. So apparently this is what the Browns are good at. [Talking Points Memo]
* David chats about the backstory behind Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link).
The tale of Gibson Dunn’s bonuses gets a bit more sordid.
Biglaw firm representing a media company with a dog logo gets sent to the doghouse.
Which firm is acting the Scrooge this year?
* Allegations abound that Tori Spelling’s signature was forged on a bunch of settlement documents. But she says it’s hers. What wacky adventures will Donna Martin get into next? [National Enquirer]
* A reminder to send in those holiday card contest submissions by Wednesday! We’ve seen some fun ones so far, but don’t let your firm be left out. [Above the Law]
* The 11th Circuit’s ECF system appears to be infected with a virus. Crackerjack technology work there. [South Florida Lawyers]
* Nothing really new here, but it’s a very specific, personal account of the broken law school model. [The Gazette (Cedar Rapids)]
* Meanwhile, Dean Daniel Hamilton of UNLV Law joins the chorus of deans pitching the “because everyone’s figured out law school’s a bad deal it’s suddenly become a good deal.” [Vegas Seven]
* Aaron Sorkin stands up for his Hollywood buddies and that means he’s fig leafing rampant racism and sexism. [Redline]
* Former SF mayor Willie Brown is confused by the nomination of Leondra Kruger to the California Supreme Court because she lives in D.C. He asks whether “there [were] no qualified African Americans in California?” Perhaps, but as a former SCOTUS clerk, Chicago Law instructor, U.S. deputy assistant attorney general, and assistant to the solicitor general there are few more qualified people anywhere for this job. [SF Gate]
* An “America’s Next Top Model” contestant sued Tyra Banks, claiming she was disqualified from the title because Banks found out she had worked as an escort. You’re looking for people who can walk back and forth in heels over and over. Who did you think was trying out for the show? [Courthouse News Service]
* Dewey know which DLA Piper department head just declared personal bankruptcy? [New York Times]
* Coming soon to the hipster haven near you: the artisanal attorney. Hilarious satirical piece by John Frank Weaver. [McSweeney’s]
* Are you getting married? Are you planning to change your name? Huge mistake. The name part at least. Maybe the married part, I don’t know your deal. [The American Lawyer]
* The Onion surveys the reaction to the Columbia Law exam policy. [The Onion]
* You can’t force welfare recipients to get drug tests. Which was kind of obvious but still required a court to weigh in. [Pathologyblawg]
* A New York judge allegedly stroked his secretary’s face, forced her to give him hugs, and regaled her with explicit tales of sex with his mistress. [New York Post]
* There’s a wealth of information in this post about the ABA 509 Information Reports. Keith Lee does a year-over-year comparison of the top ten and bottom ten schools, looking for trends. [Associate’s Mind]
* A registered sex offender wins the lottery. $3 million buys a lot of windowless vans. [Orlando Sentinel]
* Judge to federal prosecutor: “You’re branded as a liar and you’ll remain a liar for the rest of your life.” [New York Observer]
* A New York lawyer has been arrested and charged with running down 5 people in Herald Square. Alcohol and crack pipes are involved. And topless selfies. Look, you’re going to see more on this from Staci in the morning, so just sit tight. [Inquisitr]
* If you want to live in a mansion, all you need to do is forge a few documents. [Gawker]
* The Supreme Court of Canada says cops can search your phone when they arrest you. But only to check the Habs score. [Ars Technica]
* Another installment of Posner on Posner. This time focusing on the First Amendment. [Concurring Opinions]
* This week we learned there’s a thing called “rectal feeding.” Professor Michael Dorf on why it’s totally a war crime. [Dorf on Law]
* How many law schools will close by 2020? [TaxProf Blog]
* An Assistant DA in Barrow, Alaska, was shot and killed the other day, allegedly by a man jealous that his ex-girlfriend had started dating the ADA. [KTUU]
* Legislature amends law “to protect quacks.” That sounds like a good use of their time. [Slate]
* “How Many Bites Do Sloppy Lawyers Get At The Apple?” Oh. I get it. [Redline]
* Sometimes even squishy toys take a hit: Nerf ordered to pay $73 million in back royalties. [North Dallas Gazette]
* Congrats to Gawker General Counsel Heather Dietrick on her new role as President. [New York Observer]
* Sad news: Kirkland associate and Northwestern Law ’13 grad Jeremy Adler died unexpectedly last week. Our thoughts are with his family and friends. [Inside Bay Area]