Joe Patrice

Joe Patrice joined Above the Law in 2013. Joe received a degree in Economics and Political Science from the University of Oregon and a J.D. from the NYU School of Law. From 2001, he worked as a litigator for both Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton and Lankler Siffert & Wohl, representing a variety of individuals, institutions, and foreign sovereigns in criminal and civil matters. Joe left legal practice in 2012 to pursue writing, contributing to numerous publications, including ATL, before joining the full-time staff.

Posts by Joe Patrice

  • 640px-President_Barack_Obama-300x374

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.11.15

    * More whining about President Obama opining on Supreme Court cases while the justices “deliberate” — as though anyone’s opinion is up in the air. Apparently presidents have rarely done this. Fun fact: cynical lawyers have rarely gotten to the Supreme Court to attack a president’s landmark legislation on a tortured textual reading, but here we are. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * It’s like the Hangover. Except in prison. With more drugs. [Legal Juice]

    * Hey, remember when Jeb Bush got behind a law that required rape victims to publish their sexual histories in the newspaper until the law was shot down by the courts two years later? Good times. [Salon]

    * The Right proclaims Jeb Bush really doesn’t believe in publicly shaming women for having sex. Hm. See item 3 supra. [Legal Insurrection]

    * Wow. The Senate actually passed something. It’s a resolution hailing the 13th, 14th, and 15th Amendments. Is it a sign of my cynicism that I’m shocked even that got approved? [Constitutional Accountability Center]

    * Why the rationale of Roe doesn’t really matter. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Fourth Circuit panel snipes at each other over whether to call out overzealous prosecutors. It got so bad they actually sealed the opinion. [Maryland Appellate Blog]

    * Derek Khanna has a new report on patent reform written with Lincoln Labs. The fundamental premise: patents are not encouraging innovation any more. [Lincoln Labs]

    * Watchdog is reporting that Kroll Associates conveniently overlooked dozens of terrible LSAT scores in its report on University of Texas admission standards. It bears repeating: just how dumb must Abigail Fisher be to not get into this school? [Watchdog]

    * A short memoir about suing The Grateful Dead. [The Faculty Lounge]

    14 Comments / / Jun 11, 2015 at 5:29 PM
  • handgun with bullets

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.10.15

    * The “hiring a hit man” thing seems to be all the rage. Now a law student allegedly gets in on the action. [Legal Cheek]

    * A lesson in how to get sued by your employees. [Lowering the Bar]

    * The perfect civ pro exam all in one case. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Are old lawyers bad lawyers? [Law and More]

    * “Prosecutor seeks judge’s removal for allegedly interfering with intern’s drunken-driving arrest.” Go on… [ABA Journal]

    * On June 23rd in Indianapolis, come hear David and Judge Tinder talk about judging, clerking, and ethics — and get CLE credit too. [Indiana Law Blog]

    7 Comments / / Jun 10, 2015 at 5:30 PM
  • 415px-Timothy.K.Lewis.Sitting-RF

    Supreme Court

    Chief Justice Called Out On Race By Federal Judge

    This may be a shock, but Chief Justice Roberts may not fully understand racial discrimination.

    17 Comments / / Jun 10, 2015 at 3:43 PM
  • 3043138-inline-istock-unfinished-business-7

    Labor / Employment

    Another Firm Tries To Screw Over Young Lawyers

    Is your office a cool place for on-the-job training? Congratulations, so is every workplace. It’s still not an excuse to stiff your interns.

    47 Comments / / Jun 10, 2015 at 2:22 PM
  • John,_Magna_Carta

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.09.15

    * It’s the 800th Anniversary of the Magna Carta. Have you ever read it? Because it includes some stereotypically troubling thoughts on Jews. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]

    * The lawyer from the Lady Chatterley’s Lover obscenity trial is 100 years old. So… take that, “clean living.” [Daily Mail]

    * Tennessee Law Review hosted a Third Amendment Symposium. Professor Reynolds waxes philosophic on whether the Third Amendment might limit government intrusiveness into domestic affairs in areas as diverse as computer spyware, “affirmative consent” laws, and childrearing. Sounds like one of them pinko commie “non-Originalist” readings to me. [Instapundit]

    * In a sign of the times, there’s a new information service providing analysis of critical legal issues related to cybersecurity, data protection, and data privacy challenges. But since most lawyers still think “banning personal email” is the height of cybersecurity, it may be a bit advanced for you. [The Cybersecurity Law Report]

    * Davis Polk associate Elyssa Friedland has a new book titled Love and Miss Communication (affiliate link) about a Biglaw associate fired for sending too many personal emails at work. As we just wrote before, that won’t be a problem at a lot of firms anymore. [Amazon]

    * We talked about lawyers meditating, so now let’s talk about lawyers and taijiquan. [Katz Justice]

    * Kudos to Lucosky Brookman LLP for raising over $155,000 for Save a Child’s Heart with its Second Annual Charity Golf Outing. [Lucosky Brookman LLP]

    * Richard Hsu chats with Mark Lemley, Stanford Law professor and founder of Lex Machina, about playing video games. Something we understand here at ATL. [Hsu Untied]

    8 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 5:31 PM
  • 800px-2003-08-25_Greyhound_bus

    Police

    Kentucky Police Are Completely Awful

    Local police spring a prisoner and send him on a one-way trip out of state… despite a court order.

    16 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 5:03 PM
  • young lawyer junior associate

    Bloomberg, Technology

    Corporate Lawyers Get A New Toy

    This new tool for transactional lawyers may be a game changer.

    16 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 4:32 PM
  • shutterstock_284602886

    Law Schools

    Charleston’s New President — You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me

    Charleston’s New President Oversees Infilaw, Because Of Course He Does

    15 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 10:58 AM
  • Alcohol

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.08.15

    * There’s a lot of constitutional law about booze. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Republicans try to play some word games on the Affordable Care Act and get straight-up lawyered. Or as The New Republic described the exchange: a “succinct, pithy demolition.” [MSNBC]

    * Oscar Pistorius could be headed home on parole in the next couple of months. Time to get back in that dating pool. [CNN]

    * Don’t bring your mom to court. [Lowering the Bar]

    * Here’s an interesting company at the juncture of law and technology — 3D printing demonstrative exhibits for trial. [3D Printed Evidence]

    * Randy Spencer interviews American Pharoah [Coverage Opinions]

    * An interesting question from a lawyer doing his part to help the homeless: if a person can’t get online, how do they even look for a job anyway? [What About Clients?]

    * A new novella from Jessica Pishko called A Trial for Grace (affiliate link) about a fallen, high-flying NYC attorney working a death penalty trial in North Carolina. [Amazon]

    * Consent explained with tea. [Vimeo]

    https://vimeo.com/126553913

    14 Comments / / Jun 8, 2015 at 4:57 PM
  • law grads jobs

    Job Searches, Law Schools

    Finally, Some New Jobs For Law School Graduates

    A new, growing program offers recent grads an opportunity to work and train with a leading third-party legal services provider.

    33 Comments / / Jun 8, 2015 at 2:42 PM
  • via Flickr user jeffreyw

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.05.15

    * Cue the Subway song: 130 Million. 130 Million Dollar. 130 Million Dollar Sandwich! [Law360]

    * Lawyers who denigrate jury duty become inmates who denigrate jury duty. [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

    * Vox gets into the business of opining on law school. It takes a decidedly more enlightened approach than Slate. [Vox]

    * After arresting a guy for crack possession and figuring out it was really “cracker crumbs,” the cops charged the guy with obstruction because admitting you’re wrong is so passé. Thankfully the cooler heads of the judicial system prevailed and the guy is getting a $35,000 settlement for his troubles. Did he have Wheat Thins? Because I’m pretty sure those are crack. [NJ.com]

    * Oil heir Al Hill III, whom we’ve previously described as, “by most accounts, the epitome of the spoiled rich kid you desperately want to punch,” owes his lawyers some money. Like $40.9 million worth. [Texas Lawyer]

    * Crowdsourcing: Is this racist? Personally, I think no if specifically intended as a parody, but we’ll see. [What About Clients?]

    * On Tuesday, June 23, David and Seventh Circuit Judge John Tinder will be discussing “Judging, Clerking, Ethics, and Ambition” in the context of Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) at the Conrad Indianapolis at 50 West Washington. So, you know, swipe right if you’re excited about seeing Judge Tinder. Full details at the link.
    [Federalist Society]

    8 Comments / / Jun 5, 2015 at 5:01 PM
  • money cash pile of money benjamins

    Law Schools, Sports

    No. No One Would Choose Law Over More Money And Fame.

    It’s cute to act like a bad law job with a dead-end degree is going to turn out for the best, but let’s be real.

    31 Comments / / Jun 5, 2015 at 2:34 PM
  • Yevgeny_Onegin_by_Repin

    Legal Ethics

    Disciplinary Authorities Don’t Look Kindly On Threatening To Kill Your Client

    Small Penises And Duels — A Curious Lawyer Fee Dispute.

    14 Comments / / Jun 5, 2015 at 10:34 AM
  • Juan Monteverde and Alexandra Marchuk

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.04.15

    * New developments in everyone’s favorite soap opera of a case: Faruqi & Faruqi LLP is cross-appealing the $140,000 judgment in favor of former associate Alexandra Marchuk. [Law360]

    * Whoa. There’s one SEC Commissioner actually doing her job! So retro. Stay strong, Commissioner Stein. [Guile Is Good]

    * Congress is working on a bill to prevent companies from foisting non-compete clauses on employees making less than $31,200/year. But, but, then someone else might learn the important trade secret of the Colonel’s 11 secret herbs and spices! [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Senior and junior lawyers speak a different language. This article comes to us from the U.K., but the sentiment is universal, even if the phrase “bugger off” isn’t. [Legal Cheek]

    * Prosecutor called Asian Americans “greedy foreigners.” That goes over about as well as you’d expect. [Angry Asian Man]

    * David spoke with the Legal Talk Network about “the importance of friendship and family and the psyche of young lawyers who often compromise personal relationships for career ambitions.” If you guessed they were discussing Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), then you’re right. [Legal Talk Network]

    * Where are LL.M.s valuable? [LLM-Guide]

    * Lawyer sues EFF for calling his patent stupid. We here at Above the Law would like to reiterate that this patent is brilliant and probably the most Earth-shattering invention since the light bulb. [Corporate Counsel]

    * Maybe legalizing drugs doesn’t solve all the violence. [Seattle Times]

    3 Comments / / Jun 4, 2015 at 5:11 PM
  • fighting gloves

    Lawyer Advertising

    Lawyer Ad Punches Out Bully

    Watch a kid get punched by a lawyer — sort of — who wants to do the same to insurance companies. Because they’re like 11-year-old kids. Or something.

    27 Comments / / Jun 3, 2015 at 5:38 PM
  • Facebook_like_thumb

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.03.15

    * A social media guide for lawyers. Time to get on Woo Woo! [Associates Mind]

    * The growing ranks of Biglaw househusbands. [The Careerist / The American Lawyer]

    * Swordsmith sued by hotel chain over allegedly fraudulent gift cards. Swordsmith is still a thing? [Slate]

    * After a lawsuit highlighted the deplorable conditions facing the Buffalo Bills cheerleaders, the state legislature is stepping up with a cheerleader protection bill. On a completely unrelated note, I remind you that Isiah Thomas runs a professional sports team in the state of New York. [Politics on the Hudson]

    * Before you clear your browser history, take note that you may be obstructing justice. [The Nation]

    * A lawyer is suing Avvo to uncover the author of an anonymous negative review. [Tampa Bay Times]

    * “We don’t need fewer lawyers. We need cheaper ones.” And that all starts with cheaper law schools. [Washington Post]

    * If you want to build a professional brand, you probably should keep your trap shut. [Law and More]

    10 Comments / / Jun 3, 2015 at 5:03 PM
  • gay marriage cake

    Gay Marriage

    Does The Equal Protection Clause Require States To Issue Licenses For Same-Sex Marriages?

    Intelligence Squared hosts a debate on the constitutionality of marriage equality. Watch the debate live here.

    34 Comments / / Jun 2, 2015 at 6:12 PM
  • Sepp Blatter (photo via Agência Brasil)

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 06.02.15

    * Just days after a hard-fought reelection campaign, Sepp Blatter is resigning his post as President of FIFA. I wonder whose indictment is coming out next… [The Guardian]

    * The ABA is going to investigate the much-maligned Charleston School of Law. [SC Lawyers Weekly]

    * If you fancy yourself a trivia master — or just want some free drinks and food — sign up for ATL’s Summer Trivia Showdown. Use the code “PLComp” to get in for free. [Above the Law]

    * A New Jersey judge gagged the Bergen Dispatch, leading to this incisive response from the paper and the judge quietly vacating her own order. As Walter Sobchak taught us, “The Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.” [Boing Boing]

    * Not to diminish the serious electoral problems of the U.S., but check out how out of whack representation is in the United Kingdom. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * If you’re seeking a prosanity fix, a parent filed a federal lawsuit against local, state and federal education officials contending that the theory of evolution is functionally a religion and therefore teaching it is a violation of his kid’s rights. [Charleston Daily Mail]

    * Seyfarth Shaw’s Stephen Poor explains why he joined Twitter. He talks about innovation and leadership, but it was all about following @aplusk. [Bloomberg BNA / Big Law Business]

    10 Comments / / Jun 2, 2015 at 4:57 PM