Joe Patrice

Joe Patrice joined Above the Law in 2013. Joe received a degree in Economics and Political Science from the University of Oregon and a J.D. from the NYU School of Law. From 2001, he worked as a litigator for both Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton and Lankler Siffert & Wohl, representing a variety of individuals, institutions, and foreign sovereigns in criminal and civil matters. Joe left legal practice in 2012 to pursue writing, contributing to numerous publications, including ATL, before joining the full-time staff.

Posts by Joe Patrice

  • converge-feat

    Events, Technology

    Let’s Talk Technology And The Law

    Join us March 18 for a fun and informative panel discussion about law and technology.

    7 Comments / / Jan 28, 2015 at 4:18 PM
  • 640px-Dez_Bryant_2010

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.27.15

    * Dumb person suing the NFL over its entirely correct (though the rule is pretty stupid) no-catch call in the Cowboys/Packers game. For $88 billion. Oh, because Dez is number 88. I get it. To read the whole hand-written complaint, head to the next page…. [Sports Illustrated]

    * The feds charge a bumbling Russian bank employee with trying to spy on America. Viewed in light of the details of the Anna Chapman ring, I think maybe Russia should just give up trying to spy. [Huffington Post]

    * “Judge Feels That Chris Brown’s Tour Doesn’t Count as Community Service.” Well then. [Defamer]

    * More of how the LSAT is supremely important to getting into law school. [Law and More]

    * College suspends a student for selling video of a campus brawl. School says the sale was a code of conduct violation… though it can’t explain how. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

    * The government’s brief in King v. Burwell tries desperately to show that conservatives themselves understood the plain meaning of the Affordable Care Act and anticipated states opting out of creating exchanges. Thankfully, the conservative justices obliged by writing exactly that in their NFIB v. Sebelius dissent. Between this and the marriage equality cases, Justice Scalia is just getting torched by his own dissents. [Talking Points Memo]

    https://www.scribd.com/doc/253504322/Terry-Hendrix-NFL-Lawsuit

    13 Comments / / Jan 27, 2015 at 5:19 PM
  • old law books

    Law Reviews, Law Schools

    The Dumbest Thing A Prospective Law Student Can Do

    Aspiring law students will do the stupidest things to convince law schools to love them.

    34 Comments / / Jan 27, 2015 at 11:09 AM
  • The first rule of leaving Latham...

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.26.15

    * Another benchmark in the Ninth Circuit’s ongoing war against prosecutorial misconduct: a panel of judges — Kozinski, Wardlaw, and Fletcher — suggest trying prosecutors for perjury. [New York Observer]

    * Lawyer and blogger Eric Turkewitz finds himself in the New York Post’s Page Six gossip column. Just what was he doing with Selena Gomez while Justin Bieber wasn’t looking? [New York Personal Injury Attorney Blog]

    * Kristine Sperling left her position as a senior associate at Latham to start her own organic soap company. And, I’m assuming, an underground fight club. [Good Day Sacramento]

    * Saks has finally figured out that its stance on transgendered people wasn’t winning it any friends and withdrew its filing. [Jezebel]

    * The 2015 Social Media Subpoena Guide. Everything you need to know about getting all their best cookie recipes off Pinterest. [Associate’s Mind]

    * Tom Petty’s lawyers “Won’t Back Down” and now he’s getting royalties for that Sam Smith song. [Consequence of Sound]

    * Which law professor rules the Twitterverse? A comprehensive numerical analysis provides the answer. [Ryan Whalen]

    * A new, easy to use online version of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure. If you’re into that kind of thing. [Federal Rules of Civil Procedure]

    * More accolades for Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). But you already know how good it is because you already have your copy, right? [The Florida Bar Journal]

    20 Comments / / Jan 26, 2015 at 5:02 PM
  • prison prisoner jail convicted criminal

    Perks / Fringe Benefits, Public Interest

    Public Defender Arrested Because He’s Not A Prosecutor

    A community explains that public defenders just don’t deserve nice things.

    61 Comments / / Jan 26, 2015 at 1:46 PM
  • 800px-Bacongrease

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.23.15

    * Today’s NS is all about stupid stuff you shouldn’t do. A woman poured hot bacon grease on an ex-boyfriend “because it was time for him to go.” She’s going to spend a couple of years thinking about whether that was the best way of telling him. [The Seattle Times]

    * If you’re the kind of guy to skip hearings in felony narcotics cases, maybe don’t tattoo Tom Brady’s helmet on your skull. [The Smoking Gun]

    * Stonewalling federal judicial nominees. Not cool. [The Tennessean]

    * What the hell? Bigamy hearing for congressman’s wife delayed for emergency breast implant surgery. [The Big Story / Associated Press]

    * It’s another compilation of “crazy laws” from around the country. Whole bunches of stupid stuff you can’t do. [Slate]

    * Republicans swear up and down that the Affordable Care Act only provided subsidies for states that create exchanges. But if that’s the plan, they shouldn’t have left a paper trail of explicitly saying the opposite for years. [The New Republic]

    15 Comments / / Jan 23, 2015 at 5:01 PM
  • money1

    Biglaw, Bonuses, Money

    Associate Bonus Watch: A Firm Offering Associates DPW Bonuses… And More To Some

    Another bonus announcement. This one brings good news for a substantial number of associates.

    1 Comment / / Jan 23, 2015 at 2:19 PM
  • XXX sign RF

    Law Schools, Pornography

    From Berkeley Law To XXX: One Law Student Cum Porn Star’s Journey

    The way fellow law students treat this porn star suggests that some stereotypes can lead to double standards.

    0 Comments / / Jan 23, 2015 at 11:13 AM
  • amal and george clooney

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.22.15

    * A representative for Amal and George Clooney has denied the rumors of an impending divorce plastered all over the newsstands this week. “This story is totally made up in order to sell their magazines.” Now we can go back to wondering when Amal is planning to sue President Obama. [Aceshowbiz]

    * Roe v. Wade is 42 years old (or 126 trimesters) today. How much of the original holding is left? Not that much actually. [TBT Legal]

    * Some 1st or 2nd year in D.C. is banging another associate and felt obliged to give us an anonymous blow-by-blow account. Think of it as a Penthouse Letter to the ABA Journal. [Reddit]

    * Speaking of Penthouse, the affidavit from the Prince Andrew/Alan Dershowitz sex scandal is just bats**t amazeballs. Check out the full document on the next page. [South Florida Lawyers]

    * “Jews in the U.K. never won a reported discrimination case against non-Jewish defendants.” I mean, who’d have thought the country that brought us The Merchant of Venice would have issues with Jews? [Tablet]

    * Americans decry European laws prohibiting certain kinds of hate speech. But Professor Faisal Kutty explains that liberal societies have their own secular sacred cows even if they don’t want to admit it. [Al Jazeera]

    * If you presume the clientele for litigation financing services are helpless, you’re selling them short. [LFC 360]

    * The latest threat to unsuspecting Americans: zombie debt! [Public Justice]

    * NYU admits it probably should have told the police when a student allegedly lit a classmate on fire and videotaped it. Ugh. NYU’s gone soft. In my day, we set each other on fire all the time and we liked it dammit! [Chronicle of Higher Education]

    27 Comments / / Jan 22, 2015 at 4:59 PM
  • SpeakerSilver

    Politics

    Top New York Politician Arrested For Taking Bribes From A Law Firm

    This morning, Silver told reporters, “I hope I’ll be vindicated.” We’ll see about that one.

    22 Comments / / Jan 22, 2015 at 11:01 AM
  • unhealthy food

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.21.15

    * DWE? Guy gets ticketed for eating while driving. I mean, maybe if he were having spaghetti behind the wheel. [WSB TV]

    * Older lawyers need to get over themselves and figure out how computers work. Millennials have better things to do than save your documents for you. [2Civility]

    * Lobbying firms made bank last year. Squire Patton Boggs not so much. [Washington Post]

    * Proposals abound to change the way courts issue warrants for online evidence. Wait, they still need warrants for online activity? That’s not the sense I’d gotten over the last couple of years. [Associate’s Mind]

    * You can give a cop the finger. Didn’t know we needed a decision on this one. [Countercurrent News]

    * New Jersey had to issue an ethical opinion because two judges were spending their free time going to dinner with a guy indicted for corruption. Another one where I didn’t think we needed a decision. [Legal Profession Blog]

    * Time for a good cause: Attorney Bernardo Cuadra is running the Boston Marathon to raise money for MS research. [National MS Society]

    * Lat does another interview about Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link) [Enchanting Lawyer]

    14 Comments / / Jan 21, 2015 at 5:04 PM
  • Pencil erasing an "error"

    Biglaw, Screw-Ups

    Mayer Brown & Simpson Thacher Make Epic Screwup

    Check out this tale of how an unwary paralegal ends up costing a bank millions.

    61 Comments / / Jan 21, 2015 at 3:03 PM
  • SuperBowlXLIXLogo

    Supreme Court

    They Aren’t Televising The Super Bowl?

    How do Americans react when they learn that one of the most important events in their lives is surrounded in a media blackout?

    16 Comments / / Jan 20, 2015 at 5:25 PM
  • tax law RF

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.20.15

    * ♫If you wannabe happy for the rest of your life…♫ be a tax lawyer. After all, they’re like rock stars. [Vault]

    * Possibly the world’s most expensive sex. It doesn’t involve Ashley Dupré, but it does involve the American health care system. [Daily Telegraph]

    * A possible preview of Justice Alito’s upcoming dissent in the marriage equality decision. [The Onion]

    * Maybe on the more serious side, here’s Elizabeth Wydra charting the course of the Supreme Court and matrimony in anticipation of the upcoming marriage equality case. [Tampa Tribune]

    * Why Best Value is a better alternative to LPTA. This is not a guide for prospective law students, but it could be. [Government Executive]

    * A wide-ranging talk with Professor Khiara Bridges of Boston University School of Law about law, reproductive rights, and classical ballet. [Hsu Untied]

    * Let the breakdown continue: California’s out of state bar exam pass rates. [Bar Exam Stats]

    * The legal fiction that are Biglaw firms. [Think Outside the Bar]

    * Looking for some CLE in L.A.? On Thursday, Judge Alex Kozinski and our own David Lat will be chatting about judging, clerking, ethics, and ambition. [Supreme Ambitions]

    4 Comments / / Jan 20, 2015 at 5:01 PM
  • 640px-President_Barack_Obama-300x374

    Politics

    Getting Drunk For The 2015 State Of The Union

    Grab a beer and let’s settle in to watch the State of the Union.

    6 Comments / / Jan 20, 2015 at 4:34 PM
  • Test fail

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.16.15

    * It’s on. SCOTUS grants cert in marriage equality cases. [Supreme Court]

    * Law schools are admitting students who have no real hope of passing a bar exam. But keep talking about academic integrity! [TaxProf Blog]

    * The Daily Show looks at Alabama’s Attorneys for Fetuses law, the impetus for the CLE “Charging an arm and a leg when your client doesn’t have an arm or a leg.” [Mediaite]

    * A follow-up on the Yale mental health survey and the challenges facing the legal profession. [Law and More]

    * Justice may get a little more affordable in New York. [LFC360]

    * One Virginia lawyer is staying open despite Counter-Civil Rights Day Lee-Jackson Day. [Katz Justice]

    * AG Holder puts a stop to the government’s Equitable Sharing program, which was a nice way of saying the “police stealing things from people” program. [Washington Post]

    * School chancellor: “After careful consideration, I’ve concluded that enlisting our students as confidential informants is fundamentally inconsistent with our core values.” Would have been better to have figured that out before a student died while acting as an informant. [Redline]

    * Another review for Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). Check it out. [Blog Talk Radio]

    29 Comments / / Jan 16, 2015 at 5:30 PM
  • xw1

    Pro Se Litigants

    Judge Thinks X-Wing Lawsuit Is As Dumb As We Did

    The guy suing Disney so he can build a real-life X-Wing has lost. But the judge gives us some grade A trolling.

    23 Comments / / Jan 16, 2015 at 11:50 AM
  • beer craft beer

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.15.14

    beer craft beer* Lagunitas sued Sierra Nevada over beer. Beer connoisseurs pulled themselves out of their own vomit to tweet their disapproval. And it worked, Lagunitas dropped the suit. Imagine if we could harness the power of drunks for good. Or evil. Just anything. [SF Gate]

    * Musing that maybe that daunting LSAT was the obstacle keeping students from filling seats, University of San Diego Law just opened up the school to USD grads — no LSAT required. [University of San Diego School of Law]

    * Saks has heard the public backlash against its assertion that transgender people deserve no legal protections in the workplace and responded by… reasserting that transgendered people have no rights. [Slate]

    * Fashion law isn’t just for Elle Woods acolytes anymore. [Racked]

    * Ninth Circuit does not take kindly to a state prosecutor who lied under oath. [Seeking-Justice]

    * SCOTUS justices don’t have to recuse themselves, and when they do, they don’t have to explain why. Let’s look at the recusals this Term and venture a guess at why each justice sat out. [Fix the Court]

    * NY subways boast some ridiculous safety posters to cover themselves legally. Here’s a breakdown of their latest efforts. [NY Observer]

    * Checking in on the always messed up developments down at Manhattan Supreme Court. [Wise Law NY]

    * “Good news for law grads and law schools!” article ends up buried in a sea of caveats. Because of course it does. [TaxProf Blog]

    8 Comments / / Jan 15, 2015 at 5:33 PM