Joe Patrice

Posts by Joe Patrice

By all accounts, Stephen G. Dickerman is a pretty good lawyer. He retired from practice a few years back.

By all accounts, Stephen G. Dickerman is a pretty poor lawyer. He’s an unknown man who appears to have stolen the former’s identity.

In a bizarre story out of Brooklyn, the FBI arrested a man for using the identity of the retired Stephen G. Dickerman to operate a law practice in Brighton Beach for the last several years.

How easy is it to steal a lawyer’s identity? Shockingly easy it turns out. As in, you should be really worried about your identity easy.

As of now, authorities still have no idea who this guy really is — he still insists that he’s Stephen G. Dickerman, practicing under his supposed Hebrew name as Shlomo Dickerman. The only thing we know for sure is that this guy’s got a lot of chutzpah….

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* The new icon of the Islamic State is a hipster with a law degree. Where’s his Career Alternatives piece? (Alternate quips: For his money, the evening call to prayer must be on vinyl. When decrying alcohol as sinful, he prefers PBR. The scimitar in that picture is from the vintage store. Which direction is Mecca from the Williamsburg Bridge?). [The Telegraph]

* A high school teacher showed up to work intoxicated and without pants on the first day on the job. And thus ends Elie’s career as a high school teacher. [CBS Houston]

* Google is tipping off authorities about criminal activity in Gmail accounts. I believe this message is brought to you by Hotmail. [CNBC]

* Smaller law firms are capturing more and more M&A work per a study by CounselLink. Biglaw may be coming “back” when it comes to hiring, but the trend of clients shifting work to smaller firms continues. [Wall Street Journal]

* We talk a lot about the justice gap in this country. Now some enterprising Utah lawyers are out there making legal services affordable. [The Atlantic]

* “This is not a life story that will end well.” Indeed. [Law Lemmings]

* Thanks to Betterment for sponsoring a great event last night with expert in-house counsel on becoming a startup company lawyer. Check out what you missed. [Betterment]

* A video of Notorious RBG describing the 2013-14 Term. She also explains her approval of the title of Derrick Wang’s opera Scalia/Ginsburg. Embed below…. [Derrick Wang]

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* Donald Trump is suing to get his name removed from the Trump Plaza and Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City because his reputation is tarnished by tacky façades dedicated to giving off the mere illusion of success. [Bloomberg Businessweek]

* Beset by corruption allegations, Governor Cuomo is using funds out of his campaign war chest to fund his defense rather than squandering taxpayer dollars. Ball’s in your court neighboring state governor. [North County Public Radio]

* Beau Brindley, a benchslap legend, is now the subject of his very own federal criminal probe after allegedly encouraging a client to lie under oath. A tipster told us last year “this won’t be the last you hear of [Brindley].” How prophetic. [Chicago Sun-Times]

* The woman given a forced blow job simulation for the glory of a 7-inch Burger King burger is speaking out. [Copyranter]

* The Women’s World Cup is scheduled for next year in Canada, but a number of high-profile players are threatening — with the help of Boies, Schiller & Flexner and Canadian firm Osler, Hoskin & Harcourt — to sue FIFA for discrimination over its plan to subject the women’s tournament to artificial turf. Are you suggesting FIFA is a disastrously flawed organization? Get out. [Fox Sports]

* Guess what? Your insurance company isn’t made up of the worst people on the planet. Unless you use this insurance company. Because then, maybe it is. [Gawker]

* A Harvard Law grad wanted to install an intercom so he invented a system known as “Nucleus” that does the job for less than $200. [Technical.ly Philly]

* If you’re interested in the fun and exciting world of startups, head on out to Legal Tech SF’s Startup Weekend. It’s August 15-17 at Airbnb headquarters. I assume after August 17 the location reverts to the headquarters of some other company. [Legal Tech SF]

If the monkey took it, it owns copyright, not me, that’s their basic argument. What they don’t realise is that it needs a court to decide that.

– David Slater, a British nature photographer embroiled in a conflict with Wikimedia over the copyright to photos taken by a female macaque monkey who stole Slater’s camera in 2011 and used it take a selfie. Tween girls, amiright? Anyway, Wikimedia considers the picture royalty-free because the author of the work is, in fact, a monkey, and until Caesar’s revolution she isn’t likely to look to enforce her right. Slater argues that he owns the copyright since it was his camera. As for the title, okay you caught me — the monkey didn’t put her selfie up on any dating sites, but did post to Instagram with the message “New camera! #fecesthrowing #blessed.”

She’s coming down with a bad case of ‘going to get a pony.’

Remember the “affluenza” kid? His name is Ethan Couch and the teenager went on an alcohol-fueled joyride after a party in the mansion his parents had bought for him. The joyride resulted in the death of 4 people and the injury of multiple others as alcohol-fueled joyrides are wont to do. Except Couch avoided the fate of pretty much any other person who might kill 4 people on the back of a clinical psychologist’s expert opinion that Couch suffered from a mental condition that he coined as “affluenza” — basically as a rich, privileged tool, the kid couldn’t be held responsible for his actions.

Most people found this ridiculous. Elie went so far as to call for the parents to be jailed. Which has a certain Nancy Grace-style emotional appeal, but also kind of feeds the argument that this kid himself should continue to remain shielded from the consequences of his actions. It also fans the flames of the same parent-policing logic that ends with people getting arrested for letting their kids play outside. But in any event, the fact that a juvenile system judge with a reputation for harsh punishments for poor, black kids — she sent a 14-year-old black kid to jail for 10 years for punching a kid who fell and hit his head resulting in his death — sent a 16-year-old, rich, white kid willfully driving drunk to a country club rehab facility — conveniently paid for mostly by taxpayers — exposed everything wrong with privilege in America.

Now the case raises another debate about privilege. One of the victims who survived the accident is suing and wants to see exactly how this clinical psychologist came to his groundbreaking diagnosis that rich kids don’t have to go to jail, and Couch’s lawyers are fighting that disclosure tooth and nail….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Affluenza Kid And Privilege (This Time The Evidentiary Kind)”

We’re halfway through the first round of this epic bracket. We’ve got polls active right now from Day 1 and Day 2 featuring eight different lawyer letters — seeded by all-time traffic — vying for a trip to the Elite Eight.

Now the next four entrants join the party.

Do you remember these gems of legal authorship?

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* CNN sued over claims that a correspondent bit EMTs at the embassy in Baghdad. And just like that, Baghdad isn’t looking so safe anymore. [MSN]

* Tea Party favorite Chris McDaniel has filed a legal challenge over the Mississippi GOP primary. It’s dumb. [KARN h/t Election Law Blog]

* The Wisconsin Supreme Court upheld the state’s restrictions on unions. Meanwhile the dissent relied on really weak arguments like “actual Supreme Court precedent.” [Labor Press]

* The immigration crisis has inspired Miami to establish a rocket docket, which is a useful response, so we should probably shut it down and encourage drunk militia members to get in boats or something. [Daily Business Review]

* Dan Markel was serving as a legal consultant to the defendants in that Orthodox divorce extortion case. [Village Voice]

* The legal conundra of The Guardians of the Galaxy. Poor Ronan… you plan one attempted genocide and the law is all over you. [The Legal Geeks]

University of Colorado Law School — Ranked in the Top 10

We rank everything else about law schools, so why not their buildings?

A quality building may not be more important than a school capable of getting you a job, but there are advantages to nice buildings. If you’re going to law school, you will have to spend significant time there, so it may as well be nice. If you’re an alum, it’s always nice to see your donation to the school went to something nice.

So did your law school make the list of the top 50 best law school buildings in the world?

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* Nothing demands a SWAT team like a 90-year-old woman. [Lowering the Bar]

* Not so much legal, but here’s Princeton Review’s ranking of the best and worst colleges. If you’re looking for hard liquor, head to Iowa City. [TaxProf Blog]

* Dewey know what Al Togut’s going to say about law firm bankruptcies. Yeah, I know, but we’re just going to keep riding this pun. [Forbes]

* Corruption in New Orleans? Hold on, I need a second to let this sink in. [The Times-Picayune]

* Be sure to come by Betterment on Wednesday to hear from a panel of general counsel about the transition to in-house work for a startup company. [Above the Law]

* The CFPB is cracking down on debt-collecting law firms. So if you’re a bottom-feeder, the government is coming for you. [Gawker]

Some Biglaw firms put on variety shows and have associates sing, dance, and act out lame sketch comedy. It’s all about associates demeaning themselves for the amusement of partners in new and more interesting ways. And I guess it’s supposed to engender some kind of camaraderie, though it’s not clear how.

But sketch comedy can go horribly wrong. Like, any time a white guy shows up in blackface.

That’s a problem. And yet this Biglaw firm doesn’t seem to understand why….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Blackface Is Not OK — Someone Please Tell This Biglaw Firm”

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