Joe Patrice

Posts by Joe Patrice

Earlier this week, we showed you a home movie taken inside Slaughter & May’s offices in 1981. What we learned was that practicing law at the highest levels in the early 80s involved no computers, a lot of switchboard operators, and casually telling women in the office that they had good backsides.

The natural question after watching the whole video was, “Where are they now?” Whatever happened to the young associates showing off their window views and pretending the British tax laws are interesting?

We don’t have answers for every face recorded all those years ago, but we do have updates on the current whereabouts of a few of them.

But most importantly, we can tell you whether the guy with the killer porn stache guy is still rocking it today!

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Winston Churchill once said, “If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favourable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.”

This quote springs to mind when confronted with the ongoing legal tussle over the “revenge porn” site Pinkmeth.com. As vile as that business may be, the intrepid attorney battling to shut it down has an ally with a reprehensible past of his own — like fronting an organization recognized by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a bona fide hate group. It’s a legal conflagration that makes you want to cast a pox on both houses and curl up in the fetal position and pray for humanity.

But in the wake of the latest lawsuit filing, the two sides took to Twitter to lower the debate with public sniping.

Just like that, it’s the rest of us that win….

UPDATE (7/10/14 4:37 p.m.): The attorney involved in this suit, Jason Lee Van Dyke, has drafted a response to my post, which you can read on page 3. If you’ve already read this post, you can jump directly to page 3 here.

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* Seattle City Attorney Pete Holmes took advantage of Washington state law and purchased himself some legal pot yesterday, making him the highest-profile lawyer in the country. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

* DC Comics blocked plans to build a memorial to a murdered 5-year-old Superman fan dressed in costume. Realizing that this was awful and stupid, they’ve reversed themselves. [Gawker]

* New York Justice Roger Barto said he was attacked and beaten with a toilet seat. The police disagree. [WHAM]

* Laurence Tribe recounting his experiences with a young Barack Obama. [Fiscal Times]

* Remember when Justice Scalia screwed up that decision and quietly edited it hoping we wouldn’t notice? Well the days of the secret editing of SCOTUS opinions are over. [CREW]

* The continuing coverage of the Donald Sterling trial: Sterling takes the stand. [mitchell epner]

* We talk a lot about work-life balance among lawyers, but we don’t think much about the work-life balance among law professors. [TaxProf Blog]

* If you wanted to understand the UK legal market, this infographic is basically “choose your own adventure” for a legal career across the pond. [Gorvins]

* What do the former Biglaw Bigshot and Joan Rivers have in common? [Law and More]

* The criminal codes violated in Transformers: Age of Extinction. Violations of the code of good filmmaking not included. [The Legal Geeks]

* Remember the guy who turned Justice Ginsburg’s Hobby Lobby dissent into a song? It turns out he’s been recording a song a day since 2009 and that was his first hit. Congrats! Hopefully next Term Justice Alito can declare suffocating orphans constitutional so this guy can have a follow-up. [Music.mic]

* How to end an internship? The key is drunkenly denouncing all your bosses in public. Oh, how to end an internship positively? Well, then I’m going to need some advice. [Corporette]

* Fracking interests have a new plan to promote the well-being of those living in affected areas: pay them $50,000 to grant universal releases. This doesn’t make fracking sound dangerous at all. [Pro Publica]

* Hey folks taking the New York bar exam at the Javits Center! Order your lunch. [Custom Gourmet]

* Insurance companies are asking American customers to go to Tijuana for medical care. “I know you need heart surgery, but have you considered how awesome it would be to take in a donkey show after your release?” [New Republic]

* Mitchell Epner, who is basically our Donald Sterling beat reporter, has a recap of the first day of the proceedings. [mitchellepner]

* Conviction for multiple sexual assaults “can be the basis of an interim suspension of his law license.” Seems like that should be a little more definite. [Legal Profession Blog]

* One of the underappreciated challenges in state and local governance is the inability to permalink statutes. [Government Executive]

When law schools face double-digit declines in admissions, it’s time for a slick ad campaign to bring in more students. When traditionally lower-ranked law schools face double-digit declines in admissions, it’s time for a slick ad campaign to bring in low-hanging mouthbreathers to subsidize the rest of the school.

Such is the case for one school that plastered a new series of posters around town hoping to draw in new students to fill their ranks.

A new ad that requires the prospective student to suffer a severe lack of reading comprehension and critical thinking….

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An actual switchboard!

Most of you weren’t practicing Biglaw in 1981. Indeed, the vast majority of you weren’t practicing in 1981. Which is why this find is such a gem. Someone unearthed a home movie taken in the home office of a Biglaw firm in 1981.

How long ago was 1981? They still had a f**kin’ switchboard! Like, with wires and stuff.

If you’ve ever wondered what law looked like in an era before computers or basic standards of appropriate behavior, here’s your guide….

UPDATE (7/10/14 1:45 p.m.): Be sure to check out our update revealing the identity of the genius behind this time capsule.

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* Mitchell Epner breaks down the Donald Sterling trial, which kicked off today. Or “tipped off” today. [CNBC]

* Judge Kopf reviews Keith Lee’s The Marble and the Sculptor. Keith can take heart that His Honor didn’t tell him to STFU. [Hercules and the Umpire]

* MoloLamken offers its comprehensive review of the Supreme Court’s recently concluded adventures from the perspective of businesses. Spoiler alert: businesses did really, really well. [MoloLamken]

* Former seminary dean lied about his religious background and then tried to sue the guy who called him out on it. Benchslapping ensued in a fee decision: “Plaintiff’s sparse trickle of written argument gave way at the hearing to an overflow of objectively unreasonable claims…. Plaintiff either cast unsupported aspersions or asserted boldfaced contradictions, adopting whatever narrative best served him at the time.” In fairness, those sound like they might be assets in organized religion. [Religion Posts]

* If you want to know what’s up in the energy sector, Breaking Energy now has a “Law Firms Perspective” feed. [Breaking Energy]

* Discretion is the better part of valor: gamblers turned down around $1.5 million payout to sue casino for illegal detention… and then lost. [ATL Redline]

* I’ve said before that I find the concept of legal tattoos fascinating. This one is incredibly meta….

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We give law schools a lot of flak for the way they take massive amounts of money and then have the gall to call us every week asking for donations. What did they do with the original $150K? I guess in my case it was “buy real estate.” But still.

So when I say there’s a law school out there nickel and diming its graduates, I’m not colloquially talking about $150K in tuition. No, I’m using “literally” entirely accurately. They are literally taking dimes and nickels off their alums….

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Everyone is complaining about the Supreme Court. Whether you’re reading constitutional scholars or Facebook rants the consensus is that Hobby Lobby was a disaster. Except for the song.

So why not create your own Supreme Court?

Consider this an invitation to build a fantasy Supreme Court. Here’s a list of all the justices in history to choose from (or argue the merits of some deserving luminary who never — or hasn’t yet — made the Court). Choose a full complement of 9 or just pick one — we’re just playing around here.

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Ed. note: Above the Law will have a reduced publishing schedule on Friday, July 4, in observance of the day when Will Smith beat those aliens.

* Two state supreme courts rejected the bids of guns rights advocates to give felons the right to own guns. But if you outlaw guns, only outlaws… wait, that slogan doesn’t work here. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

* Hobby Lobby fallout. Religious groups are asking President Obama to accommodate their “sincerely held belief” that gay people don’t deserve jobs. [Talking Points Memo]

* On the other hand, Hobby Lobby opens the door to student loan forgiveness. [Tyler Coulson]

* People hated talking to Steve Jobs about their work. Was it because kids these days don’t understand the value of hard work? Or was it because computer geeks are notoriously introverted? [What About Paris?]

* Don’t discriminate against people getting divorces — they’ve got enough to worry about. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]

* Some legal academics think bank executives should be paid in bonds. Here are some arguments against that. [Fortune]

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