Joe Patrice

Joe Patrice joined Above the Law in 2013. Joe received a degree in Economics and Political Science from the University of Oregon and a J.D. from the NYU School of Law. From 2001, he worked as a litigator for both Cleary, Gottlieb, Steen & Hamilton and Lankler Siffert & Wohl, representing a variety of individuals, institutions, and foreign sovereigns in criminal and civil matters. Joe left legal practice in 2012 to pursue writing, contributing to numerous publications, including ATL, before joining the full-time staff.

Posts by Joe Patrice

  • the jinx

    Crime, Quote of the Day, Television

    Star Of The Jinx Arrested, ‘Confesses’

    The popular documentary takes a spectacular turn.

    9 Comments / / Mar 16, 2015 at 10:54 AM
  • Good news! More work.

    Biglaw

    Top Law Firm Withholding Bonuses Unless Associates Do A ‘Marketing Project’

    A good idea meets seriously flawed implementation.

    37 Comments / / Mar 13, 2015 at 5:25 PM
  • arrogant partner LF

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.13.15

    * The law school ranking for the career-oriented: which law schools produce the most Biglaw partners? [TaxProf Blog]

    * Uh oh. More students took the LSAT in February. The bubble begins anew. [LSAT Blog]

    * The saddest part of this story is that it’s impossible to be surprised about it: the NYPD is going into the Wikipedia entries of Eric Garner, Amadou Diallo, Sean Bell, and other police brutality victims and making selective edits. [Colorlines]

    * Judge throws out “Lebellus” cause of action. [Lowering the Bar]

    * Most people understand the criminal justice system is broken. Fewer understand how busted the civil system is. [LFC 360]

    * Speaking of the broken civil justice system, it looks like class actions are an endangered species, according to Professor Brian Fitzpatrick. Maybe CrowdSuit can help. [SSRN]

    8 Comments / / Mar 13, 2015 at 4:58 PM
  • Just another day in court.

    Benchslaps, Fashion, United Kingdom / Great Britain

    Judge Rips Into Lawyer For Dressing ‘Like Something Out Of Harry Potter’

    The transcript of this benchslap is both hilarious and cringe-worthy.

    34 Comments / / Mar 13, 2015 at 2:02 PM
  • Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.12.15

    * When the judge starts quoting Monty Python, it means he hates you. [Lowering the Bar]

    * When a tax official died at the office, it took his co-workers two days to notice. To paraphrase Roger Sterling, “he died as he lived: surrounded by people who didn’t pay attention to him.” [TaxProf Blog]

    * What makes a client want to hire a particular lawyer? Is it Throwback Thursday pics of the lawyers as kids? No? These lawyers think it is. [Legal Cheek]

    * The “stop hitting yourself theory of statutory interpretation” is my new favorite canon. [Lawyers, Guns & Money]

    * Radio Shack is going under, which is the perfect time to ask: what if it was a HYDRA front all along? [The Legal Geeks]

    * If America wants to incarcerate fewer people, it needs to take a hard look at what it plans to do with violent offenders, because they’re a bigger part of the prison system than most realize. [PrawfsBlawg]

    * Today would be Jack Kerouac’s 93rd birthday. In case you wanted to imagine a life unchained from your desk, you should read some of his stuff. [What About Clients?]

    10 Comments / / Mar 12, 2015 at 5:07 PM
  • resume

    Law Schools

    This T14 Law School Writes Terrible Cover Letters

    A school-wide email lambasts lazy law students.

    52 Comments / / Mar 12, 2015 at 1:46 PM
  • internet address

    Privacy, Technology

    Should The U.S. Adopt The ‘Right To Be Forgotten’ Online?

    Watch a debate between distinguished experts and scholars on the next big question for the Internet.

    13 Comments / / Mar 11, 2015 at 6:15 PM
  • orange-jumpsuit-handcuffs

    Law Schools, Prostitution

    3L Nabbed On Human Trafficking Charges

    Massive online underage prostitution sting results in arrest of a law student.

    70 Comments / / Mar 11, 2015 at 5:27 PM
  • Mousetrap with money

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.11.15

    * Texas wants to strip lawyers of their license if they don’t pay their student loans. Yeah, if they’re getting behind, taking away their ability to earn money seems like a good strategy. [Texas Lawyer]

    * Lawyer gives waiter a $25K tip to get dental surgery. Based on the picture, I’d have given him that tip for free. [ABC 11]

    * Let’s all hope John Oliver never goes back to The Daily Show, because his HBO show is making a real-life impact. The Tennessee Supreme Court cited Oliver on civil forfeiture in an opinion handed down yesterday. [Tennessee Courts]

    * From the strip club to the mental hospital. Pretty standard murder scenario actually. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

    * Suge Knight’s defense to murder and attempted murder charges? He’s legally blind in one eye so didn’t see the people he killed. [NY Daily News]

    * Reality star testifies under oath that reality shows aren’t real. Try and pick up the pieces from your shattered world. [Morning After / Gawker]

    * Document review is such a terrible job, you should probably just go into PR. That assumes you’ve not done enough document review that you can never smile again. [Law and More]

    * The final segment of an interview with Seth Zachary, Chairman of Paul Hastings. In this part of the interview, Zachary discusses weathering and overcoming the collapse of his previous firm Finley Kumble, the former Biglaw giant that went under in the 80s. This is where we make the obligatory, “Dewey know anyone who might appreciate this tale?” [Bloomberg BNA / Big Law Business]

    31 Comments / / Mar 11, 2015 at 5:04 PM
  • Winston Strawn LLP logo

    Biglaw, Lateral Moves

    Winston & Strawn Pillages Pillsbury In Massive Lateral Raid

    Winston reached out and took what it wanted from Pillsbury: a bevy of heavy hitters, including some department heads.

    9 Comments / / Mar 11, 2015 at 11:15 AM
  • Use your imagination...

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.10.15

    * “A senior Queens judge allowed a bawdy Viagra-themed light-switch cover to remain in his courtroom for at least a year — even after a female lawyer complained that it was inappropriate for court.” Obviously, there will be a contingent trying to write this off as “just a joke” and asking everyone to “relax,” but seriously, how is ANY joke lightswitch cover appropriate in a courtroom? Let alone a penis switch. [NY Post]

    * Teen burglars started sniffing the powder they stole thinking it was cocaine. Instead, it was cremated ashes. It’s part Cocaine Cowboys and part Six Feet Under. [The Smoking Gun]

    * No one can predict how much tuition will rise over the next several years. But this offers the next best thing: an interactive tool to chart how much each school’s tuition has changed over the last few years. [Bar Exam Stats]

    * We’ve featured some of Richard Hsu’s interviews in this space. The Recorder sat down with the Shearman & Sterling partner to discuss his podcast. [The Recorder]

    * Elie went on HuffPo today to discuss the phenomenon of law schools dropping the LSAT. [HuffPo Live]

    * Former Wilmer litigator and 10th Circuit clerk John Ford has a new book out called The Cipher (affiliate link). It’s about the NSA harassing an innocent American citizen. Or as the rest of us call it, “a Tuesday.” [Amazon]

    * In sad news, Dave Frohnmayer, former Oregon Attorney General, dean of Oregon Law School, and President of the University of Oregon passed away at 74. On a personal note, he was extremely supportive when I resuscitated the South Eugene debate program (where his daughters had earlier debated) before I went off to law school. Rest in peace. [The Oregonian]

    * Have you ever wondered about litigation finance and thought, “if only someone would make a cartoon to explain it all to me” then you’re in luck. [LFC360]

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrQklMvyuOM

    22 Comments / / Mar 10, 2015 at 5:20 PM
  • 1024px-Eye_iris

    Weirdness

    Guy Throws His Eyeball At Lawyer

    This isn’t something you see at the courthouse everyday.

    19 Comments / / Mar 10, 2015 at 4:29 PM
  • Richard Posner

    Benchslaps, Quote of the Day, Richard Posner

    Judge Posner Schools Colleagues On Marriage, Basic Logic

    Judge Posner sounds exacerbated by his colleagues in this benchslap from a recent dissent.

    21 Comments / / Mar 10, 2015 at 3:12 PM
  • 16483244287_07863f767e_z-RF

    Supreme Court

    LEGO Supreme Court Justices Are A Real Thing

    Custom LEGOs of the women who’ve served on the Supreme Court are awesome and we want them.

    9 Comments / / Mar 10, 2015 at 10:11 AM
  • typos

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.09.15

    * Pretty significant typo… [Legal Cheek]

    * King v. Burwell plaintiffs’ attorney Michael Carvin of Jones Day has some interesting things to say about Obamacare. Like being sure to characterize the law as the product “by living white women and minorities,” which in some circles constitutes throwing shade. Racist circles. [Talking Points Memo]

    * South Carolina makes its potential magistrate judges take the same Wonderlic test given to potential NFL draft picks. The justice system is even based on football down there. I assume occasionally they’ll let a defendant think they’ll get off and then give him the chair and the jury yells, “CLEMSON!” [Lowering the Bar]

    * We take a break from our regularly scheduled NS segment, “Louisiana Seems Crazy,” to bring you a great idea out of Louisiana. Effective May 1, lawyers can earn their CLE hours by doing pro bono work. Brilliant. More substantive legal work to fill a huge need and less garbled streaming video. [New Orleans City Business]

    * OK now back to regularly scheduled programming: arrest warrant issued for New Orleans lawyer accused of intentionally triggering a mistrial by refusing to participate in jury selection. I think Perry Mason did that once. It was one of the more obscure episodes. [Nola]

    * Leave it to the people who wield the awesome punitive power of the state to be the first to give themselves a get out of jail free card. [USA Today]

    * Richard Hsu scores an interview with Jon Lindsey of legal recruiting firm Major, Lindsey & Africa. Apparently, the busy founding partner Lindsey really knows how to juggle things. Literally. [Hsu Untied]

    * History buffs out there may recall that Emperor Augustus instituted a bunch of moral reforms during his reign that really only succeeded in revealing that his daughter was a total whore. But what if the Emperor’s prude rules actually helped solidify his broader goals? [Law & Humanities Blog]

    10 Comments / / Mar 9, 2015 at 5:03 PM
  • angry woman with phone

    Supreme Court

    The New Trick To Suing Your Phone Company

    The Supreme Court has waged war on class action suits, but there may be a workaround to take the telecom companies to court.

    18 Comments / / Mar 9, 2015 at 3:03 PM
  • m9ygchtajcd8ptxnxcoh

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 03.06.15

    * I guess 15 minutes of fame can really mess with you. The “cute mugshot girl” who took the Internet by storm a while back managed to get arrested again. Negative attention is still attention. [Gawker]

    * The DOJ is about to file corruption charges against Senator Robert Menendez. Corruption in New Jersey? [CNN]

    * With the assistance of the pro bono legal teams at WilmerHale and Polsinelli, 303 conservatives filed a historic amicus brief in support of marriage equality. [WilmerHale]

    * A nice review of “A Conversation on Clerking” moderated by U.S. Supreme Court reporter Anthony Mauro of the National Law Journal, with panelists including our own David Lat; Judge Patricia Millett of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the D.C. Circuit; and Lucas Townsend, an associate at Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher and former clerk to U.S. Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito Jr. [American Bar Association]

    * Looking for an extra $1,000 this year? Enter this legal fiction writing contest. Maybe you’ll write the next Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link). [The Expert Institute]

    13 Comments / / Mar 6, 2015 at 5:01 PM
  • Private air travel anyone?

    Contests, Perks / Fringe Benefits

    Which Law Firm Boasts The Best Perk?

    Our 2015 March Madness competition will tip off in a couple weeks and we’ll pit law firms against each other to decide which firm has the best perk. But that only works if you give us the intel.

    14 Comments / / Mar 6, 2015 at 12:30 PM