* J’Accuse…! The S.E.C. has, so far, been operating on a Lone Frenchman theory in regard to mortgage securities fraud at Goldman Sachs. [New York Times]
* This article suggests that the dumb question of the 21st century is “Is it legal?” I suggest the honor go to “F**king magnets, how do they work?” [CBS News]
* Arizona is suing the Justice Department over the Notorious P.O.T. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Opponents of “three strikes” hope that the SCOTUS decision requiring California to reduce its prison population by 33,000 inmates will help them to repeal three strikes. Four balls, standing eight count, and wicked googly are among sports terms vying to take its place. [San Diego Union Tribune]
* A law firm librarian in New Jersey is suing her old firm and police for being falsely arrested and accused of pulling a fire alarm in the law firm’s building. This lawsuit is long overdue. Dewey even need to check out the complaint? Folio microfiche rare books. [New Jersey Law Journal]
* An in-depth look at the legal issues facing moral exemplar and top-shelf human being John Edwards. [Charlotte Observer]
* Utah became the first state to recognize gold as legal tender, momentarily sending the price per ounce skyrocketing to 5.7 wives. [International Business Times]
* Retired Justice John Paul Stevens, at 91, remains as spry as ever. At an age when most men are dribbling pudding onto their shirt, he is dribbling it onto his bow tie. [New York Times]
* “Again?! Egypt bizman busted at Pierre hotel.” [New York Post]
Ed. note: Today we remember and thank those who have died in military service to our country. In honor of Memorial Day, Above the Law is on holiday (and we hope you are too). We will return to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow.
* Can’t really improve on the Deadspin headline here. “Ric Flair Found In Contempt Of Court For Owing Wrestling-Merchandise Company $35K. Whooooo!” [Charlotte Observer via Deadspin]
* Judge Owen Panner of Oregon recently benchslapped the mortgage industry. I’m beginning to think the mortgage industry was plagued by sloppy practices. [Oregonian]
* The Obama administration has started to focus its enforcement efforts on employers of illegal immigrants. Apparently you can become president of this great country without showing proof of citizenship, but you can’t work in the kitchen at Fuddruckers. This guy knows what I’m talking about. [New York Times]
* It’s not dark yet for free speech warrior and all-around deviant Larry Flynt. But it’s getting there. [The Independent]
Muammar Gaddafi
* Ever wondered whether nose jobs can be copyrighted? No? Oh, never mind. [PrawfsBlawg via Gawker]
* You know summer’s coming because another politician is accusing the oil industry of fixing prices. You also know summer’s coming because it’s getting warmer, you dummy. [New York Post]
* Moammar Gaddafi, the NATO bombing campaign, and two French lawyers who clearly absorbed the lesson of To Kill a Mockingbird. [Washington Post]
* Finally, it was revealed over the weekend that Justice Sotomayor received $1.175 million from Alfred A. Knopf for her memoirs. Zune Zune Zune!. [New York Times]
When Focus on the Family CEO Jim Daly recently conceded that opponents of gay marriage had “probably” lost in their efforts to convince young Americans that gay marriage is evil baloney, there was much celebration in circles that celebrate such things. I have it on good authority that Elie let out a big whoop upon hearing the news. Then he quickly got angry as hell about something or other. That guy.
Now that Christian conservative groups have given up trying to convince young people that gay marriage is wrong, they can redouble their efforts on the cinematic front. And that is something that we can all agree is great. Just great.
After the jump, enjoy the trailer for a movie that promises to do for the abortion issue what a banana did for the evolution issue (evolution is not an issue).
The film is called Come What May, and it involves a moot court competition and young love. And dead babies? Yeah, it mentions that once or twice….
* A former Ropes & Gray attorney caught up in the Galleon Group insider trading scandal, Brien Santarlas, testified yesterday that he was paid thousands of dollars for tips. Then, he was told “to dispose of the phone — break it in half, submerge it in water and put it in a garbage can.” He was also told to “Fart on it, dredge it in panko bread crumbs, and talk mess about its momma.” [Bloomberg]
* A candidate to succeed Dominique Strauss-Kahn as head of the IMF, former Baker & McKenzie chairman Christine Lagarde, may have a legal problem of her own. A less rapey one, but still. [Reuters]
* Maria Shriver has retained prominent divorce attorney Laura Wasser, but has not decided whether to divorce Ahnuld or not. Every decent Arnold Schwarzenegger joke has been done, so here’s Jean-Claude Van Damme dancing. [CBS News]
* An Oregon woman has won her fight to get high and carry a handgun. A three-episode arc on Cops is still being negotiated. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Vivia Chen continues her impeccable trolling with a post on lawyers who were voted “most likely to succeed” in high school. Money quote: “If you’re in law, odds are slim that you came within breathing distance of cheerleaders or star athletes.” [The Careerist]
* The owners of the Mets considered buying fraud insurance for their Madoff money in 2001. Instead, they traded for Mo Vaughn. Bad Idea Jeans. [New York Times]
* “Can’t fire me, cause I f**king quit.” Dominique Strauss-Kahn [BBC News]
* “Can’t fire me, cause I f**king quit.” Manhattan prosecutor Karen Friedman Agnifilo [Bloomberg]
* Rudy Giuliani elevated the perp walk to “an art form.” Reached for comment, Giuliani replied “9/11.” [Reuters]
* Goodwin Liu needs seven Republicans to cross party lines in order to advance his nomination to the federal bench. In related news, Goodwin Liu will not be confirmed to the federal bench. [Los Angeles Times]
* A law firm in Cleveland has developed an app that notifies potential hires when a job opens up at the firm. It’s called Angry Nerds. Bonus: Lat quotes! [Plain Dealer]
* Rosie Perez is suing the production companies behind Law & Order: SVU over injuries suffered during filming. In her complaint, the actress said a lot of legal-sounding junk in a really annoying voice. [New York Post]
* The perp walk is illegal in France. It’s not clear from this article how the French view the crip walk. [Sacramento Bee]
* Carl Icahn, the Blockbuster bankruptcy, insider-trading charges, and a golden retriever wearing comically huge sunglasses. This story touches on three of those things. [Bloomberg]
* Hogan Lovells fired a partner who falsely claimed $1.6 million in expenses. To put that in perspective, that is $1.6 million more than I have. [Am Law Daily]
* A Brooklyn juror died of a heart attack while listening to testimony. And that’s… sad, I guess. But the story goes on to note that “The juror, who was unemployed, was said to be ‘happy’ to be collecting a check for his service on the case which was expected to go on for about a month.” Man. [New York Post]
* Sammy Alito batted down 10 popular misconceptions about the Supreme Court in a speech on Monday. Chief among these myths is that Justice Sotomayor listens to a lot of Buena Vista Social Club on her Zune. Sonia never really got into that album, Alito noted. [St. Louis Post-Dispatch via ABA Journal]
* Meanwhile, Justice Thomas wondered in a speech whether critics of the Supreme Court suffer from a “disease of illiteracy or laziness.” So is your face, Justice Thomas. So is your face. [Fox News]
* A South Carolina jail is being investigated by the Justice Department for allowing its inmates to read only the Bible. Instead of a joke, how about you goofballs learn something and read this article that Christopher Hitchens wrote about the King James version of the not-quite-great book. [Charleston Post and Courier]
* Hide yo kilos, hide yo weed. Cause they searching errbody. [Los Angeles Times]
* Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is not a fan of that state’s gay gross-up. “More like gross-out” he muttered, before kicking a teacher on food stamps. [Washington Post]
* Everything you didn’t know you wanted to know but were afraid you forgot to ask about the NFL lockout ruling from yesterday. [SI.com]
* So you’re trying to tell me that a French dude came all the way to America to sexually assault one of OUR maids? That makes no sense. [BBC News]
* Starting today, Chicago will be the site of a terror trial. Speaking of Chicago, did you guys see Taj Gibson’s dunk last night? Sweet sassy molassey! [Chicago Tribune]
* Some Yale Law grads start online legal tabloids. Some help resettle Iraqi refugees. There’s more than one way to skin a cat, whatever that gross phrase means. [Associated Press]
* Elena Kagan gave the commencement speech at New Mexico Law yesterday, but the local ABC affiliate couldn’t be bothered to spell her first name correctly. [KOAT Albuquerque]
* A bunch of kids are suing the federal government and state governments over greenhouse gas emissions. Frankie says relax, nerds. [New York Times]
* Challenges to Obamacare will get their first appellate hearing in Richmond, Virginia, next Tuesday. Classic states rights location. Classic. [USA Today]
* For the second time, jurors in the Raj Rajaratnam case have asked to hear phone calls recorded by the government. On them, Rajabba can be heard breathing heavily. Wheezing, really. [WSJ Law Blog]
We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at asia@kinneyrecruiting.com in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
In a land that is right here and in a time that is right now, a technology has arisen so powerful that it can replace basic human document review. Is it time to bow down before our new robot overlords?
First, here’s a little story about me: my life in the legal world began as a paralegal. My first case was a GIANT patent infringement case that was already six years old and had involved as many as five companies, multiple US courts, the ITC and an international standards committee. I knew nothing about any of this.
On my first day, my supervisor (a paralegal with at least eight other cases driving her crazy) sat me down in front of a Concordance database with a 100,000+ patents and patent file histories. “Code these,” she said. I learned that “coding”, for the purposes of this exercise, meant manually typing the inventor’s name, the title of the patent, the assignee, the file date, and other objective data for each document. I worked on that project – and only that project – for at least the first six months of my job. After a week or so, time began to blur.
What I know, in retrospect and with absolutely certainty, is that as time began to blur, so did my judgment. So did my attention to detail. If you could tell me that I did not make at least one mistake a day – one inconsistent spelling, one reversed day and month, one incorrectly spaced title – I frankly would need to see your evidence. I would not believe it. The human mind is trainable but it is not a machine.
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* J’Accuse…! The S.E.C. has, so far, been operating on a Lone Frenchman theory in regard to mortgage securities fraud at Goldman Sachs. [New York Times]
* DLA Piper and Skadden were instrumental in bringing a hockey team back to Winnipeg. Winnipeg! Hockey! Here’s a baby panda! [Am Law Daily]
