Juggalo Law

  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.01.11

    * J’Accuse…! The S.E.C. has, so far, been operating on a Lone Frenchman theory in regard to mortgage securities fraud at Goldman Sachs. [New York Times] * This article suggests that the dumb question of the 21st century is “Is it legal?” I suggest the honor go to “F**king magnets, how do they work?” [CBS […]

    15 Comments / / Jun 1, 2011 at 9:01 AM
  • California, John Edwards, John Paul Stevens, Libraries / Librarians, Morning Docket, New Jersey, Prisons

    Morning Docket: 05.31.11

    * Opponents of “three strikes” hope that the SCOTUS decision requiring California to reduce its prison population by 33,000 inmates will help them to repeal three strikes. Four balls, standing eight count, and wicked googly are among sports terms vying to take its place. [San Diego Union Tribune] * A law firm librarian in New […]

    5 Comments / / May 31, 2011 at 9:05 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.30.11

    Ed. note: Today we remember and thank those who have died in military service to our country. In honor of Memorial Day, Above the Law is on holiday (and we hope you are too). We will return to regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. * Can’t really improve on the Deadspin headline here. “Ric Flair Found In […]

    6 Comments / / May 30, 2011 at 10:29 AM
  • Abortion, Gay, Gay Marriage, Law Schools, Movies, Religion

    Roe v. Wade v. Siskel v. Ebert

    When Focus on the Family CEO Jim Daly recently conceded that opponents of gay marriage had “probably” lost in their efforts to convince young Americans that gay marriage is evil baloney, there was much celebration in circles that celebrate such things. I have it on good authority that Elie let out a big whoop upon […]

    63 Comments / / May 27, 2011 at 2:35 PM
  • Bernie Madoff, Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.20.11

    * A former Ropes & Gray attorney caught up in the Galleon Group insider trading scandal, Brien Santarlas, testified yesterday that he was paid thousands of dollars for tips. Then, he was told “to dispose of the phone — break it in half, submerge it in water and put it in a garbage can.” He […]

    16 Comments / / May 20, 2011 at 9:07 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.19.11

    * “Can’t fire me, cause I f**king quit.” Dominique Strauss-Kahn [BBC News] * “Can’t fire me, cause I f**king quit.” Manhattan prosecutor Karen Friedman Agnifilo [Bloomberg] * Rudy Giuliani elevated the perp walk to “an art form.” Reached for comment, Giuliani replied “9/11.” [Reuters] * Goodwin Liu needs seven Republicans to cross party lines in […]

    7 Comments / / May 19, 2011 at 9:11 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.18.11

    * I was just asking myself, “What does Ben Stein think about the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case?” [American Spectator via Daily Intel] * The perp walk is illegal in France. It’s not clear from this article how the French view the crip walk. [Sacramento Bee] * Carl Icahn, the Blockbuster bankruptcy, insider-trading charges, and a golden […]

    23 Comments / / May 18, 2011 at 8:54 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.17.11

    * Dominique Strauss-Kahn will go to Rikers for three or four years just to prove his point. [CNN] * A South Carolina jail is being investigated by the Justice Department for allowing its inmates to read only the Bible. Instead of a joke, how about you goofballs learn something and read this article that Christopher […]

    19 Comments / / May 17, 2011 at 9:08 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.16.11

    * So you’re trying to tell me that a French dude came all the way to America to sexually assault one of OUR maids? That makes no sense. [BBC News] * Starting today, Chicago will be the site of a terror trial. Speaking of Chicago, did you guys see Taj Gibson’s dunk last night? Sweet […]

    9 Comments / / May 16, 2011 at 9:11 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.06.11

    * A bunch of kids are suing the federal government and state governments over greenhouse gas emissions. Frankie says relax, nerds. [New York Times] * Challenges to Obamacare will get their first appellate hearing in Richmond, Virginia, next Tuesday. Classic states rights location. Classic. [USA Today] * For the second time, jurors in the Raj […]

    13 Comments / / May 6, 2011 at 9:12 AM
  • Eric Holder, Football, Health Care / Medicine, Morning Docket, Paul Clement, Sports, War on Terror

    Morning Docket: 05.05.11

    * DOMA dude Paul Clement filed his first brief as lead counsel for 26 states seeking to nullify Obamacare. In a land of socialist, freeloading, hippie queers, one man stands alone. [Atlanta Journal Constitution] * Actually, that’s not true — The Cooch has Clement’s back (twhs), Tweeting all the misspelled and hilarious punchlines that are […]

    11 Comments / / May 5, 2011 at 9:14 AM
  • Drugs, Immigration, John Paul Stevens, Marijuana, Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.04.11

    * The poster state for Planned Parenthood may be picking a fight with the Obama administration over funding Planned Parenthood. [Los Angeles Times] * Yesterday, Justice John Paul Stevens delivered a speech on the need for legal representation of immigrants. Es muy importante. ¿Puedo ir al baño? Gracias. [New York Times] * Justice Stevens also […]

    4 Comments / / May 4, 2011 at 9:09 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.03.11

    * This article details how the killing of Osama bin Laden was legal. That old honey badger Elie says he doesn’t give a s**t. [Christian Science Monitor] * Former Winston & Strawn partner Jonathan Bristol pleaded guilty to money laundering charges yesterday in connection with Kenneth Starr’s Ponzi scheme. You know what’s a cool word? […]

    10 Comments / / May 3, 2011 at 9:06 AM
  • Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 05.02.11

    * The Osama Obit. [Washington Post] * Adam Liptak asks whether the King & Spalding affair is a tipping point for gay marriage in this country. Any Scorpions fans in the house? [New York Times] * This profile of “court-appointed bloodhound” Irving Picard fails to delve deeper into the dog/man hybrid and its potential to […]

    8 Comments / / May 2, 2011 at 9:14 AM
  • Job Searches, Law Schools, Money, Student Loans, U.S. News

    Law Schools Lie Like A Dog… Or A Rug. A Dog On A Rug.

    I graduated from Northwestern Law in 2009. It is now 2011, my loans are coming due (real due — not the fake, put ‘em in forebearance, due of yesteryear), and I am currently “employed” doing two things: reviewing documents at an embarrassing hourly wage on projects that start and stop without any sort of consistency, […]

    75 Comments / / Apr 26, 2011 at 1:49 PM
  • Antitrust, Football, Sports

    Our Long National Football Nightmare Is Not Over, But Maybe?

    Earlier this evening, U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson (D. Minn.) ordered an end to the NFL lockout. Football is back on! Maybe! Or not! Not at all? Who knows?!?!?! Yes, Judge Nelson ordered an end to the lockout today. Watching ESPN is like a trainwreck for those who crave certainty in their news reports. […]

    32 Comments / / Apr 25, 2011 at 7:56 PM
  • Baseball, Canada, Guns / Firearms, Insider Trading, Morning Docket, Sports, Weddings

    Morning Docket: 04.22.11

    * Attorney Jason Goldfarb pleaded guilty to securities fraud and conspiracy yesterday in a case that originated with the Rajabba investigation. Here’s his firm website photo. [WSJ Law Blog] * Harvard Law is being investigated for violating Title IX. As someone who did not attend Harvard, I assume IX rhymes with sticks. Which brings me […]

    10 Comments / / Apr 22, 2011 at 9:11 AM
  • Baseball, BP, Guns / Firearms, Immigration, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Sports, Supreme Court, Tax Law

    Morning Docket: 04.21.11

    * BP has its granny panties in a bunch over Transocean’s liability for the oil spill. So they’re suing. [Bloomberg] * Major League Baseball sought to take over the Dodgers from Frank McCourt yesterday. Your move, Wilpon. [Los Angeles Times] * Tax Lady Roni DEUTCH may be thrown in jail. I’m not entirely sure what’s […]

    8 Comments / / Apr 21, 2011 at 9:03 AM

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