Juggalo Law

Posts by Juggalo Law

Morning Docket: 04.18.11

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* Apple was hit with a lawsuit by parents angry that their credit cards were being used by their stupid kids to buy dumb swag in iPhone games. [Time]

* An Italian fortune, an American woman, and the suggestion that paternity sometimes cannot be forcefully established by the simple query “Who dat is?” [New York Times]

* When police use GPS to lojack hoes that drive Volvos and Rodeos, can they do it without a warrant? [WSJ Law Blog]

* An article about the ABA Commission on Ethics 20/20, or something like that. I’m not sure as I dozed off halfway through, like I regularly did during Ethics class in law school. [ABA Journal]

Eric Holder

* This post details various sports goings-on, like the possible move of the Sacramento Kings and former linebacker and all-around gentleman Bill Romanowski. Because Lat demands all the sports coverage we can find. [Am Law Daily]

* A possible explanation for Geoffrey Fieger’s outstanding website content. Smoking only the finest sticky icky. [Chicago Tribune]

* Eric Holder failed to pay taxes on his dead mother’s house. Until he did. Then the Post ran a story about when he didn’t. After he did. Super cool story, Post. [New York Post]

6 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.12.11

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Matt Kluger

* Baker & McKenzie is being sued for $600 million. First they were the inspiration for Philadelphia. Then they gave me a cold offer. Now this? Horrific mistakes, all. [Sports Money / Forbes]

* Meanwhile, Bingham McCutchen is preemptively suing Frank McCourt for letting them screw him over so badly. [Los Angeles Times]

* The middleman in the Matthew Kluger brouhaha, Kenneth Robinson, has pleaded guilty to securities fraud charges. No word yet on whether he is a gay dad. [Bloomberg]

* The Ninth Circuit ruled that the most controversial parts of the Arizona immigration law will remain blocked. [Washington Post]

* A man was fired from his job as a part-time urine monitor because he was born a woman. He’s suing (with help from Gibson Dunn), but has already found new employment. As a package handler. [New York Times]

* Speaking of packages, this employment discrimination lawsuit filed against a Dallas law firm is struggling with penis ID. [ABA Journal]

* NFL owners and players have been ordered into mediation by a federal judge. Who gives a sh*t? It’s a great band, it’s a bad band. It’s like pizza, baby! [ESPN]

24 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.08.11

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* This is from last weekend, but it’s still worth reading. How Wachovia helped launder billions for Mexican yayo dealers. And how the bank largely got away with it. [The Guardian]

* A piece from the current New Yorker on the Supreme Court’s approach to campaign finance laws. Apparently they’re agin ‘em? [New Yorker]

* Time Warner and Viacom are in court, quarreling over who gets to deliver content for those giant Iphone things. [Bloomberg]

* A juror was caught falling asleep at a trial for three construction workers accused of manslaughter in the death of two firefighters. [New York Post]

* About that too-close-to-call Wisconsin Supreme Court election? Nevermind. [New York Times]

* A man who pretended to be a lawyer in Wisconsin was sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison yesterday. His real crime was making money as an attorney before he accrued crippling student loan debt. [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]

9 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.07.11

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Jeff Skilling

* Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling’s appeal was denied by the Fifth Circuit. While he remains the smartest guy in the room, the room consists of him and a half-wit cellmate whose only discernible talent is making Prune-o. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Bruce Fein, an attorney who worked on Clinton’s impeachment and called for Bush’s impeachment as well, has drafted articles of impeachment for Barack Obama. His high crime and misdemeanor? Time theft. [Politico]

* An Ohio man has been charged with a misdemeanor for barking at a police dog. When asked why he was barking at the female dog, the man calmly replied, “Bitch owes me money.” [CBS News]

Raj Rajaratnam

* The government rested its case in the Raj Rajaratnam trial yesterday. Of additional note is the fact that Rajabba sits ten feet behind his defense table, partially obstructed from the jury box. You can’t completely block Rajabba from view. You can only wish to contain him. [New York Times]

* The government has warned attorneys for former Madoff employees not to use money that might be associated with Madoff’s Ponzi scheme. That includes, for their own health, any ass pennies. [ABA Journal]

* The Fourth Circuit rules in favor of a pundit-professor, in a case about the free speech rights of faculty members at public universities. [Chronicle of Higher Education]

* Charlie Sheen is trying to trademark his catchphrases now. He’s overexposed like a frostbitten penis — is there anything funny left to say about him at this point? (We might try; check in later.) [Forbes]

12 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.06.11

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Justice Barbara Lenk

* On the same day that Lady Kaga wrote her first dissent, Governor Deval Patrick nominated Barbara Lenk, an openly gay woman, to the Supreme Judicial Court of Massachusetts. Big week for… uhh, female judges. [New York Times]

* The prosecution in the Barry Bonds case rested their case yesterday, and the judge is considering throwing out previous testimony about Bonds’s shrunken testicles. National League something something small ball. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* This mob lawyer was allegedly just a mob mobster. [New York Law Journal]

* Fordham Law School hosted a conference on Bob Dylan and the law, featuring “law professors, a Dylan historian, a disc jockey and a guitar player.” Then she opened a book of poems and handed it to me. Written by an Italian jurist from the 20th century. And every one of Scalia’s words rang true and glowed like burning coal. [City Room / New York Times]

* White O’Connor, the Hollywood entertainment-law firm, is merging with “NYC white-shoe powerhouse” Kelley Drye. [Deadline.com]

* A mother has sued the Chicago public school system and her daughter’s teacher after the teacher posted the daughter’s picture on Facebook and mocked her hairstyle. The hairstyle featured an assortment of Jolly Ranchers. Sweet. [ABA Journal]

* The people of Wisconsin have spoken! And as of this morning, it’s still not entirely clear what they’re saying. The race for a Wisconsin Supreme Court seat is too close to call. [Politico]

16 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.05.11

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Kaga, L., dissenting

* Did Malcolm Gladwell’s endorsement lead to an increase in Colorado Law applicants? Malcolm Gladwell, a man whose book Blink was described by Richard Posner as “written like a book intended for people who do not read books.” [Law Week Colorado]

* A litany of legal challenges faces the Obama administration now that they’ve backtracked on Khalid Sheikh and the boys. [msnbc.com]

* The Supremes ruled against Arizona taxpayers who claimed a tax credit for religious school donations was unconstitutional. Justice Kagan popped her dissent cherry on this one. [NPR]

* Connecticut looks to “add teeth” to a law that attempts to determine whether racial profiling exists in the state. Sorry, I don’t find anything funny about racism. Unless, of course, we’re talking about the basketball scene in Soul Man. [Hartford Courant]

* Google has bid $900 million on a whole bunch of patents. Meanwhile, the patent to Google Wave is being peddled for two dollars and a box of envelopes. [Financial Times]

* “Police have nabbed the second prepubescent punk wanted for trying to rip off the religious headdress of a Muslim schoolgirl on Staten Island.” [New York Post]

19 Comments

Morning Docket: 04.04.11

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* Duke alumnus Richard Milhous Nixon (Law, ’37) is being celebrated at his alma mater with a bit of musical theater. Sock it to him? [New York Times]

* Harvard alumnus Daron Roberts (Law, ’07) is now the wide receivers and special teams coach at West Virginia. [Charleston Daily Mail]

* Two law professors, who successfully sued West Publishing after the company slapped their names on a text they didn’t author, saw their sizable punitive damages award slashed by a judge. [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* The Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State is about to get a whole lot more expensive, thanks to state budget cuts. Loosen up, Sandy baby. [The State Press]

* This article details baller extraordinaire David Boies’ work for the NFL, but omits my favorite Boies fun fact. Namely, that he had an affair with a professor’s wife while attending Northwestern Law. [New York Times]

* In hate crime news, a homeless man was arrested for beating up a gay man, but now claims to be gay himself. Apparently, the producer of Bumfights promised the man he’d get to do straight stuff only after starting out in gay scenes. [New York Daily News]

* Above the Law was part of two April Fool’s Day pranks on Friday. Here’s a deconstruction of the second one. [New York Personal Injury Law Blog]

10 Comments

Morning Docket: 03.25.11

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* In the Barry Bonds trial, an expert on steroids described how the government injected a bunch of baboons with the drug Bonds is accused of using. I, for one, welcome our new baboon overlords. [ESPN]

* Some Amish in Kentucky are fighting a regulation that requires reflective safety triangles on their buggies. Say they’d rather get Munsoned out in the middle of nowhere than use those things. [Louisville Courier-Journal]

* Fresh off his Bushwick Bill impersonation, Allen Stanford has withdrawn his lawsuit against the federal government. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A lawyer in Illinois faces possible jail time for letting her detained client use her cell phone. At least she’ll get bars now. HIYOOOO! [ABA Journal]

* The FBI has instructed agents to to hold off on Miranda warnings when interrogating “operational terrorists” about immediate threats. These threats include suitcase bombs, sex bombs, nude bombs, and La Bamba. The Los Lobos version. [New York Times]

* Law firms are whetting wetting their collective beak on drug deals. But drugs is a dirty business. It makes, it doesn’t make any difference to me what a man does for a living, understand. But your business is, uh, a little dangerous. [Am Law Daily]

22 Comments

Morning Docket: 03.24.11

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* Conky the Robot says the word of the day at the Barry Bonds trial yesterday was…syringe. AAAAHHHH!!!!!! [ESPN]

* Robert George, a prominent Boston defense attorney, stands accused of money laundering. Forget prison for a second; what is he going to do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe? [Boston Globe]

* Lilo rejected a plea bargain in her jewel heist case yesterday. Bit of a tangent, but what do you think Lindsay smells like? I bet she smells like freckles. [ABA Journal]

* “Bingham, Touched for the very first time… by Madonna.” [Am Law Daily]

* Lloyd Blankfein testified in the Rajabba case and (you will not believe this) shook… Rajabba’s …hand. OMG. [Reuters]

* Meanwhile, in Wisconsin, prosecutor Ismael R. Ozanne is going to put the whole system on trial. [Bloomberg]

* The Supreme Court grappled with the question of whether poor people are entitled to legal representation in cases where they face jail time for failure to pay child support. On a related note, here is video of Shawn Kemp dunking on Alton Lister’s head. [New York Times]

* Dov Charney, world-renowned maker of leggings and sweatbands, once again stands accused of being a creep. [Los Angeles Times]

13 Comments

Morning Docket: 03.23.11

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Opening day is so close Juggalo can taste it.

* President Obama may face legal limits in our warmanitarian police action in Libya. [Fox News]

* Ginni Thomas’s new job will have her interviewing “established and emerging leaders about the serious questions facing our country.” Questions like: Why’d you lie, Anita? Have you considered apologizing? I’m praying for you. Not really a question…but I am. [Slate]

* The Barry Bonds trial saw opening statements yesterday. The Sultan of Steroids, the King of Cream, the Colossus of Clear. [CNNSI]

* Bankruptcy Court is a weird place, except for one thing. The Mets are still losers. [New York Times]

* A judge rejected Google’s proposed settlement with the book industry that would have put millions of books online. Which, I mean, whatever. Books. They’re like movies for nerds. [Boston Globe]

* Howrey refugee Billy Martin landed at Dorsey & Whitney. Then he was promptly fired by George Steinbrenner. [Am Law Daily]

* Howard Stern is suing Sirius XM over stock awards. Baba Booey! [WSJ Deal Journal]

9 Comments
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