Marin

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Posts by Marin

Lawsuit of the Day: It’s The Kind of Thing We’d Expect from Jonathan Swift

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Scrooge McDuck texas lawsuit homeless.JPGIt’s almost Thanksgiving. It is a wonderful time to reflect on all of your blessings — and maybe spare a coin for those less fortunate.
Or, if you are a lawyer — you could sue those less fortunate; especially if the unwashed masses are hurting your business. Tex Parte Blog has this lovely holiday tale:

A lawyer who owns an office building located near The Beacon, a day center for homeless people in downtown Houston, filed a suit Monday seeking a permanent injunction to shut down the operation on the ground it’s a “private nuisance.” Lawyer Harry C. Arthur seeks a minimum of $250,000 in damages from defendants Christ Church Cathedral and The Beacon to compensate him for the loss of rentals in his building and the loss of its market value.

When I first read this story this morning, I thought somebody was pulling my leg. But I suppose this is what JaKe Emeritus is doing while on winter break in addition to posting comments on ATL.
After the jump, Harry “Scrooge” Arthur makes a modest complaint that would cause Jonathan Swift to blush.

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Judge of the Day: Call of Duty Calls Judge to Miss Duty

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Call of Duty modern warfare 2 judge.JPGHow many people out there are mainlining Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2? I’m not. Apparently, I need to practice for my upcoming Soul Calibur demolition of ATL commenters. But I’ll probably pick COD2 for the holiday season.

A British judge didn’t have my sense of patience:

Now, as the story has it, a county judge in Britain with 15 years of service (who will remain anonymous) went out and waited an hour in-line for the midnight launch of Modern Warfare 2. The 48-year-old said he was “like Charlie waiting outside the chocolate factory”. That’s a pretty intense statement from a district county judge with a wife and two kids at home.

When he finally got his copy, he did what any other 14-year-old person would do, he played it. All night long.

Obviously, that made showing up for work the next day a little bit difficult.

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Part-Time Job Offer Will Have People Polishing Résumés

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Soul for Sale law student.JPGWe’ve done a couple reports on the crazy, inane job offers being floated to laid-off associates. The economy is so bad that some people think they can get ex-Biglaw associates to babysit their kids or work for free.
But this job listing is a different kind of crazy. It’s a legal job, albeit part-time. And anybody who has the qualifications the job poster is looking for has a pretty impressive résumé. (We’re not telling you who the employer is, because frankly they’re not one of our advertisers. If you are interested in advertising a job with Above the Law, please email advertising@breakingmedia.com.)
From the listing:

This opportunity is asking a commitment to work at least 6 months to 1 year. Attorney applicants must have at least 4 years practicing in the areas of corporate law, specifically seeking understanding judicial, legislative, and regulatory materials of significance to corporate practitioners and have significant corporate transactional and/or business litigation experience. Additionally, our client is expecting to see candidates with excellent editing, legal research, analysis and writing skills and the ability to complete assigned research and writing projects by prescribed deadlines. Prior law review or federal clerkship experience is also a plus. Our client is only willing to consider attorneys with at least 4 years of recent practice experience with strong law firm and academic credentials.

If you’ve got four years of experience and a federal clerkship, you expect to be able to get a job. Yet, at this company, here’s what that résumé will get you:

* 15 hours a week from home on a temporary basis.
* The position will pay $40p/h, non-negotiable.

You know what is crazy? I know unemployed people with this kind of experience who will club a baby seal for 15 hours a week, if it pays $40 an hour. I bet you do too.
Even the job poster expects an overwhelming response. Details after the jump.

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Non-Sequiturs: 11.23.09

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ATL Harvard Yale Game.JPGATL readers were out in force after this weekend’s Harvard-Yale Game. Go Crimson! (Click on the image to enlarge; you can see “Non-Sequiturs” in the lower right-hand corner of the sign.)
* The Ninth Circuit hates turkeys. [Siouxsie Law]
* Xbox modders feel unfairly maligned, and they are uniting. It could be epic. I hope Kratos gets involved. [Daily Tech]
* Wesley Snipes is appealing his tax conviction. He apologized and feels the length of his jail time is unreasonable. I made a similar argument to the cable company after I watched Blade Trinity. But they wouldn’t give me that time back. [Going Concern]
* Are baby boomers Luddites? [What About Clients?]
* This is funny because it is true. [The Volokh Conspiracy]
* The Deliberations blog might be going away, but the Wisconsin Humane Society is gaining a great leader. [Deliberations]
* Ireland’s not getting a World Cup berth. But they are getting a Blawg Review, so all is not lost. [Human Rights in Ireland via Blawg Review]
* If you will be in D.C. on December 2, feel free to request an invitation to the Above the Law holiday happy hour, sponsored by Applied Discovery. To submit an invite request — space at the event is limited — please click on the link. Thanks! [Above the Law]

Lawsuit of the Day: Friendless Man Sues Nintendo

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Rosalina Wii lawsuit.JPGHere we have another lawsuit that is based on Nintendo’s Wii, the wildly popular gaming system for children that adults are strangely not embarrassed to love.
Sadly, this lawsuit doesn’t involve a grown woman making herself sick by refusing to urinate. Instead, we have a guy who needs to play as a space traveling princess in order to enjoy himself. Game Spot has the report (gavel bang: Overlawyered):

In the suit, the San Jose, California, gamer takes exception to a recent Nintendo Wii system update that disables access to unauthorized third-party programs like the Homebrew Channel. Specifically, the plaintiff is upset about losing the ability to use a program that would unlock the character Rosalina in Mario Kart Wii. Ordinarily, a player would need to have a Super Mario Galaxy save file on the system in order to unlock that character.

Cause of action? The gamer — and I use that term very generously, considering we’re talking about somebody who loves the Wii — says that Nintendo is ruining his pursuit of happiness.
Details after the jump.

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Nationwide (Possibly Temporary) Salary Cut Watch: Haynes and Boone

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Salary Cuts.jpgHaynes and Boone deferred its incoming first-year associates to November 30. First-years at the firm will be happy to know that the firm is keeping its promise and they will be starting just after Thanksgiving.
But they won’t be starting at full salary. Incoming associates got the news on Friday. An angry tipster let us know the news:

I’m an incoming first -ear at Haynes and Boone in Texas. We start on the 30th and just got an email saying our salaries will be $145k. This is the first time any of us even knew the firm was considering cutting salaries, and they did it with a bull**** email. So much for being committed to competing with other Texas firms.

But there is a chance that incoming first-years will be paid on a $145K scale for only a month. Above the Law reached out to spokespeople for Haynes and Boone, and they told us that the salary scale for 2010 has not yet been set.
So salaries could be going back up, if that’s where the Texas market settles.
There are actually a couple of interesting things Haynes is doing with its incoming class for their first month on the job.

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The State Schools That Make Out-of-State Students Stay Away

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Crushing Debt Obligations.jpgEd. Note: This is actually a list on out-of-state enrollment at public universities. It’s not law school specific (as I had initially thought). I still think it’s interesting to look at which schools have more out of state pull, so I’m leaving it up.
We’ve been documenting the struggles at the University of California system as it tried to push through tuition hikes. I’ve argued that out-of-state students should think twice before crossing state lines to go to law school in California.
But it looks like they don’t need my advice. Tax Prof Blog reports:

U.S. News & World Report has published a ranking of the public universities in its 2010 ranking of the Best National Universities by the percentage of out-of-state students in the freshman class that entered in Fall 2008.

The list of public schools with less than ten percent out-of-state students is full of U.C. Schools.
After the jump, it’s time for a chart.

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Reading the Revenue Writing on the Wall

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pyramid scheme capstone small.jpgThe New York Law Journal is reporting that 2009 revenue numbers are going to be ugly.

New York law firms experienced a 9 percent drop in revenue through the third quarter, according to a new survey.
The data, gathered by the Wachovia Legal Specialty Group, also showed that net income at law firms based in New York was down 4.9 percent through September, compared to the same period a year ago.

Do these numbers help explain the 50% drop in associate bonuses?
Firms might be making less money, but at least lawyers are working fewer hours.

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Lawsuit of the Day: Hand Model Sues Meanies on Co-Op Board

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Christina Ambers lawsuit co-op.jpgYesterday I had the quintessential New York City moment. At the bodega around the corner from Breaking Media’s lavish Nolita office, the bodega’s proprietor engaged me and two other people in a conversation involving three languages. I was speaking English, another guy was speaking Spanish, and I believe the third woman was speaking Portuguese, and the bodega owner was talking to all of us and translating where necessary.
I love this town!
I would have loved this conversation if we had been talking about dog poop. But instead the four of us were talking about a lawsuit that New Yorkers have been buzzing about all day. The cover story in yesterday’s Daily News involves a pretty lady (pictured) suing her co-op board:

Christina Ambers, once dubbed the “Heidi Klum of foot models,” says a romance with her porter-turned-husband, Angel Rotger, turned her into a pariah among workers at 340 E. 74th St., who made her hail taxis and retrieve packages on her own.
“I hope that people can understand how awful it is to come home and to then be treated with hostility in a building where I have paid a lot of money to live,” Ambers told the Daily News. “Nobody should have to live this way.”

Oh, to live on the Upper East Side — as I do — is to know the true definition of pettiness.
At the bodega, I made the mistake of telling my interlocutors that I “write a legal blog.” At that point, the bodega owner, the construction worker who speaks Spanish, and the Brazilian nanny had all kinds of legal questions.
Details about the suit and the street-level reaction, after the jump.

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Non-Sequiturs: 11.20.09

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Tom Daschle.jpg* Tom Daschle is going to DLA as an advisor, not for help with his taxes. [USA Today]
* Deloitte pays to make Parmalat go away. [Going Concern]
* Indiana Law Professor proposes shipping at-risk kids back to Africa. Oh, where to begin? [True/Slant]
* Is perfectionism a blessing or a curse? [What About Clients?]
* If it’s good enough for Yale Law, then it should be good enough for New York Law School. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog]
* It’s holiday sale time in Biglaw. [Young Lawyers Blog]
* Brick Breaker prowess doesn’t always translate into firm success. But when it does, it is awesome. [Litination]
* The ATL running group will be meeting tomorrow (Saturday) at 10 a.m., at the East River 6th Street track. All are welcome. [Above the Law]

Pls Hndle Thx: To Catch a Thief

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Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

pls hndle copy 2.jpgATL,
“I’m a law student with a record. Larceny by trick, we’ll call it. It happened a while ago. I have reasonable assurances from bar members in my state and my law school that if I disclose and explain (and obviously, don’t mess up again) that I will pass the character & fitness exam.
But does it matter? When I got to law school, I thought I’d be able to get a job. Almost three years later, there are no jobs. Is there any point for a guy in my position to even apply to Biglaw firms? My grades are good enough to get Biglaw, but will they just ignore me because of my past?”
Been Caught Stealing

Dear Been Caught Stealing,
I always wondered what became of the cool rich kids from my high school who smashed in people’s mailboxes and raced away in their Jettas to funnel beer in their parents’ basements. If Facebook is to be believed, they’ve traded in terrorizing friendless ninth grade transfer students with clear braces and an unfortunate Sun-In situation for wildly successful careers and loving relationships. And evidently, some of them become lawyers.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: the market for lawyers is a piece of garbage. But as long as you pass character and fitness, you’re in the same position as hordes of other unemployed recent grads. People usually don’t list “criminal” under their resume work experience; they wait until they’re filling out forms at the interview or they’re accepting the job to reveal their checkered past. It’s called “bait and switch,” which you’re probably familiar with. Because you’re a criminal. And that’s how you roll.
I think the world of Biglaw is closed to you for the moment. There is no reason that a swank firm would take someone with a record when they can easily get 300 other people without one to fill the spot. You’ll have better luck in smaller firms where the people are kinder and went to worse schools. Or try PI, where you’ll work amongst your brethren.
I hope this helps.
Your friend,
Marin

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Job of the Week: From Lawyer to Client

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Job of the Week Lateral Link ATL logo.gifAre you sick of taking phone calls at 4:30 on Friday? Would you rather be the one making the phone calls? If so, this Job of the Week might be for you. As always the Job of the Week is brought to you by Lateral Link. Today’s job is another position with one of Lateral Link’s in-house clients. Over the last 4 months Lateral Link has placed more than a dozen attorneys in in-house positions throughout the United States.
Position: Vice President
Location: Orange County, CA
Description: With more than $750 billion of assets under management, and offices around the globe, this Investment Management company is one of the world’s foremost bond fund managers, overseeing more than 70 mutual funds invested in such financial instruments as corporate paper, emerging markets debt, municipal bonds, mortgage-backed securities, credit default swaps, and real estate investment trusts (REITs), as well as stocks. The company is seeking a Vice President, Attorney with a minimum of three to six years of experience in securities laws applicable to registered investment advisers, including the Investment Advisers Act of 1940. The successful candidate will have the opportunity to work on cutting edge legal and regulatory matters, such as analyzing compliance and trading issues, drafting and reviewing compliance policies, negotiating agreements, including investment management agreements, participating in special projects, such as regulatory audits, litigation matters and general corporate work, and resolving legal issues in connection with expansion of its business model and development of new products.
If you are a candidate, please see Position #5567 on Lateral Link. If you are not a member you can sign up for free at www.laterallink.com. If you are an employer seeking top legal talent for your company, please contact Michael Allen, Principal of Lateral Link, at mallen@laterallink.com or 213.785.2344.
Earlier: Prior Job of the Week listings