Last week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this picture (click to enlarge):
On Monday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce the winner of our contest…
We’ve said it in the past, but we’ll say it again because it still rings true. Men and women working in the law are very, very busy. Billable hours come first, and everything else comes much further down in the constantly growing list that we call life. A window with a view of the outside world is a luxury, because stepping foot outside the office to do your errands is but a dream. It’s sad, but these folks can’t even find the time to go shopping anymore.
Just imagine what you would be able to accomplish if you were able to get a personal shopper to carry out life’s little pleasures for you. Thanks to the wonders of the internet, you can. Enter Shop It to Me, a free fashion website with a mission to be the best online personal shopping assistant in the world. You know what you love, and Shop It to Me finds it for you in your size — on sale.
What could be better? A $250 shopping spree sounds fun. Keep reading to find out how you can win one…
* The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office has been operating without a director for almost a year and a half, and Sen. Orrin Hatch is calling it “inexcusable.” Here’s his politely pissed off letter to President Barack Obama. [Corporate Counsel]
* The chief judge of Florida’s 18th Judicial Circuit Court wants you to know Judge John “I’ll Just Beat Your Ass” Murphy’s behavior “in no way reflects the typical manner that courtrooms are managed … in this circuit.” [WSJ Law Blog]
* Weed has been legal and free flowing in Colorado for months, but now the state is starting to see its dark side. It seems morons who get too high are accidentally killing themselves and others. [New York Times]
* InfiLaw’s bid to purchase Charleston Law reached the pages of the NYT, with a shout-out to one “scrappy website” that referred to the company by its one true name: “diploma mill.” [DealBook / New York Times]
* “Why would you bring black people into the world?” An ex-lover/employee of Donald Sterling is suing him for racial and sexual harassment over lovely comments like this. She’s repped by Gloria Allred. [CNN]
This is the future. You need to titillate both ends, if you catch my drift. Don’t put the economic imperative right in my face. It’s all about the je ne sais quoi.
– a 61-year-old derivatives lawyer from Manhattan, gushing about Bliss Bistro, an underground, invite-only strip club/brothel. The cover charge is $40, and it costs $200 for 20 minutes to rent a private area, plus whatever the women charge for their “services.” One woman recently charged $400 for oral sex.
It’s early June, and most summer associate programs are now in full swing. Sure, these Biglaw indoctrination programs have been pared down significantly since the days of yore, but law students are still having a great time gunning hard for offers. Staying at the office until 5:30 on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend was simply awesome. Everyone’s having so much fun!
Unfortunately, lurking in the dark underbelly of large law firms everywhere, a terrifying event lies in wait for these overly cheerful summer associates. Over the frustrated sighs of attorneys nationwide, news has spread that a pool party or beach outing has been scheduled. Sheer dread quickly spreads among the summer associates, and their pale skin from years spent studying blanches a shade whiter, as if such a thing were possible.
Dear God, what the hell should these people wear? Should they wear — gasp! — bathing suits?
* “I don’t think the government should be in the credentialing business.” Thanks to the whims of politicians, SCOTUSblog is having trouble getting media credentials to continue its coverage of the Supreme Court’s cases. [New York Times]
* How you like me now? In Redeeming the Dream (affiliate link), a new book co-authored with David Boies, Ted Olson says he experienced “some blowback” when he announced he was taking on the Prop 8 gay marriage case. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Steve Davis and Steve DiCarmine of failed firm fame think it’s “unfair” they have to defend themselves in a criminal case and an SEC case at the same time. They want the SEC case to be halted. Dewey think the judge will say yes? [Law360 (sub. req.)]
* Back in 2011, Pillsbury decided to ship its back-office operations to Nashville, and now it’s hiring a small contingent of lawyers to work there. FYI, an Ivy League degree may not be necessary. [Washington Post]
* Only in Florida would a judge allegedly challenge a public defender to a fight out back during a hearing and start throwing punches. We’ll definitely have more on this fiasco later today. [WFTV Eyewitness News]
* Peter Mutharika, a former law professor who taught at Washington University in St. Louis Law for about 40 years, is now the new president of Malawi, where it’s illegal to fart. Congrats! [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]
[T]he experience [of working at Cahill Gordon & Reindel] tested my ethical compass, and it coarsened my behavior. I was sometimes a jerk in dealing with my adversaries. I was sloppy in accounting for my time. I managed to care deeply about whether associates at the firm across the street were making a few dollars more. I did almost no pro bono work.
Don’t get me wrong. You get excellent training at big law firms. Many of the lawyers there do good and honorable work. But the big firms are built on a set of ethical tensions.
– Adam Liptak, the Supreme Court correspondent of the New York Times, offering commentary on his time spent in Biglaw in an article written for the Harvard Crimson. Liptak worked at Cahill from 1988 to 1992.
* Federal judges still have financial allegiances to their former firms that are reported on their mandatory annual disclosures. At least one appellate judge — Jay Bybee of the Ninth Circuit — made a killing after confirmation. [National Law Journal]
* After “a challenging 2013,” Bingham McCutchen is leaking lawyers like a sieve. Fourteen attorneys, including nine partners, recently decided to leave the firm, and they’re all headed to different Biglaw locales. [WSJ Law Blog via Reuters]
* Just one day after Donald Sterling was declared “mentally incapacitated,” he filed a lawsuit against the NBA, seeking more than $1 billion in damages. Skadden lawyers are stripping off their warm-up suits to take it to the court. [USA Today]
* This Am Law 200 firm thinks it figured out a way to help women combine their careers and home lives — by hiring a role model/mentor with an almost six-figure salary. Good idea or bad? [Dallas Morning News]
* We’ve got some breaking news for our readers from the “no sh*t” department: Law schools are competing to cut costs based on a shrinking applicant pool, but tuition is still quite unaffordable. [Houston Chronicle]
* Lewis Katz, co-owner of the Philadelphia Inquirer and alumnus of Dickinson Law, RIP. [Onward State]