Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for Above the Law in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she pseudonymously wrote the site's Morning Docket column. Staci graduated from Lehigh University and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. Before deciding to pursue writing as a full-time career, Staci worked at a small law firm. Her writing has appeared in other legal publications, such as Judgepedia, Lawyerist, and Ms. JD. She has been featured on various television and radio programs, like CNBC's Power Lunch, HuffPost Live, TF1 TV France, Chicago Public Radio, and Civil Discourse Now.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

  • cooley blue

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.24.14

    * The Thomas M. Cooley Law School is planning to sell one of its academic buildings for an asking price of $8.15 million. Dear Lord, the school will lose some of its library square footage. NOOOOOOOOO! [Lansing State Journal]

    * Contrary to his client’s hit anthem, Pharrell’s lawyer isn’t happy. He says YouTube has been “blithely” ignoring his requests to take down music for which it lacks performance rights, and it may result in a $1B lawsuit. [Hollywood Reporter]

    * Clifford Sloan, the State Department’s special envoy on Guantánamo Bay, appointed in 2013 to help shut down the detention center, is returning to the loving arms of Skadden’s partnership on January 1, 2015. Gitmo is still open. Oops. [Am Law Daily]

    * After 30 years, the Food and Drug Administration decided to lift its lifetime ban on blood donation for gay men. Now gay men just have to abstain from doing gay things for a year — like having sex with other men — to donate blood. Yay? [WSJ Law Blog]

    * If you’ve been wondering what the most ridiculous lawsuits of 2014 are, we’ve got you covered. These are the top 10 most absurd cases filed over the course of the past year. You may remember some of these from our coverage. [Faces of Lawsuit Abuse]

    11 Comments / / Dec 24, 2014 at 9:01 AM
  • Keila Ravelo

    Biglaw, Partner Issues, White-Collar Crime

    Partner Allegedly Steals Millions From Biglaw Firms To Lead Luxurious Lifestyle

    If these allegations are true, perhaps partners aren’t being paid enough?

    84 Comments / / Dec 23, 2014 at 11:47 AM
  • Divorce Fight

    Divorce Train Wrecks, Holidays and Seasons

    Lawyer Faces Possible Discipline Over Epic Christmas Poem About Neverending Divorce Case

    Although poetry may be the best way to make passive-aggressive complaints about your case, the next time you’re considering writing a four-page, 60-line email riffing on a classic holiday poem, you might want to consider your audience.

    19 Comments / / Dec 23, 2014 at 10:49 AM
  • christmas-coal

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.23.14

    * “Instead of ordering the Marshal to permit a desegregated Christmas party at the Court, the Court hosted no party at all.” Justice Felix Frankfurter wrote in his diary of the SCOTUS Christmas party that never was due to the high court’s unspoken racism. [Supreme Court Brief]

    * We know of at least one lawyer who may be receiving a lump of coal in her stocking. A former partner of two major New York City firms allegedly stole millions of dollars from them to live a life of luxury. We’ll have more on this later today. [Bergen Record]

    * Since “interest in law schools [is] dwindl[ing] nationally,” the easiest cost-cutting measure comes in the form of faculty buyouts at another school. Don’t hate the playa, hate the game, law professors. It’s a “necessary” evil these days. [The Advocate]

    * President Obama is going to nominate Sally Quillian Yates, U.S. Attorney for the Northern District of Georgia, for the position of deputy attorney general. If confirmed, there’ll be two women at the top of the DOJ. Yay! [Miami Herald]

    * Guess who just got promoted to partner at Boies Schiller & Flexner? It’s none other than Joshua Schiller, the son of the firm’s cofounder and managing partner. Aww. That’s the most precious thing ever. We just want to pinch his cheeks. [Am Law Daily]

    * Before you submit your law school applications, you should probably make sure that you’ve read and followed all of the instructions, because just in case you forgot, you’re applying to follow instructions for a living. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

    40 Comments / / Dec 23, 2014 at 8:55 AM
  • SCOTUS Duck Hunting

    Antonin Scalia, Caption Contests, Elena Kagan

    Caption Contest Winner: If It Walks And Talks Like A Duck, These SCOTUS Justices Will Kill It

    Be vewwy vewwy quiet… We’re hunting for owiginal intent!

    4 Comments / / Dec 22, 2014 at 11:30 AM
  • David Schwimmer

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.22.14

    * Florida Judge Cynthia Imperato was “devastated” after a jury found her guilty of DUI and reckless driving charges, but we imagine the judge may be more devastated by the fact that she’s a sitting judge who’s been sentenced to 20 days of house arrest. [Florida Sun Sentinel]

    * David Schwimmer, best known for his role as Ross on Friends, has been cast as lawyer Robert Kardashian in an O.J. Simpson true crime television miniseries. He surely knows it’ll take a lot of “unagi” to play the role just right. [Rolling Stone]

    * If you have to debt finance your J.D., you’re going to in for a rude awakening when you graduate and the loans start coming due. FYI, “lot[s] of graduates [are] buried in private student loan debt with not enough income to repay it.” [Forbes]

    * The parents of James Holmes, who’s better known as the alleged shooter in the Aurora movie theater massacre, have begged for him to be spared the death penalty ahead of his trial, but prosecutors say that in this case, “justice is death.” [Denver Post]

    * When it comes to Russia, “[a] lot of firms are thinking about pulling out.” That’s what she would’ve said if she were a managing partner. Biglaw firms that have been rocked by the ruble’s ruin are telling lawyers to leave before they’re laid off. [Am Law Daily]

    * Binder & Binder, the National Social Security Disability Advocates® whose late-night TV commercials you’ve grown to love, has filed for bankruptcy. The firm’s headcount will likely drop by more than half because of this. Yikes! [WSJ Law Blog]

    26 Comments / / Dec 22, 2014 at 9:11 AM
  • SCOTUS Duck Hunting

    Antonin Scalia, Caption Contests, Elena Kagan

    Caption Contest Finalists: If It Walks And Talks Like A Duck, These SCOTUS Justices Will Kill It

    What happens when Supreme Court justices exercise their Second Amendment rights?

    2 Comments / / Dec 19, 2014 at 1:28 PM
  • Joe Jamail, laughing at your delicate f*cking sensibilities.

    Uncategorized

    America’s Richest Lawyer Is An Inappropriate SOB Who Loves To Drop F-Bombs

    If you’re easily offended, then you might want to stop reading now.

    31 Comments / / Dec 19, 2014 at 12:15 PM
  • Police crime scene

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.19.14

    * A third-year student from the Louisiana State University Law Center was indicted for allegedly raping one woman and allegedly sexually assaulting and attempting to rape another. He’s currently free on bail under GPS monitoring supervision. [The Advocate]

    * Here’s some news you can potentially use (with extreme caution): you may be able to give a law firm partner the finger and still be eligible to receive unemployment benefits after you’ve been fired for flipping the bird. [Madison St. Clair Record]

    * Ever go to law school? Ever go to law school… on weed? Lots of law schools are adding courses related to marijuana law to their curricula because “[f]or most students, this is an inherently interesting topic.” Yessir, it is. [National Law Journal]

    * Hmm, this advice article says you should evaluate your GPA and LSAT score to determine which law schools to apply to, but we know the only real qualification is a pulse. This is confusing. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News & World Report]

    * The Federal Communications Commission renewed a radio license for a station owned by Washington Redskins’ owner Dan Snyder, despite the fact that the agency’s chairman previously called the team name “offensive and derogatory.” [WSJ Law Blog]

    16 Comments / / Dec 19, 2014 at 9:05 AM
  • Brad Pitt

    Celebrities, Hotties, Jury Duty

    Court Says Brad Pitt Is Far Too Handsome For Jury Duty

    Certain celebrities are just too sexy for their civic duties.

    17 Comments / / Dec 18, 2014 at 1:16 PM
  • Blind Melon LF

    Biglaw, Music

    Alternative Rock God Decides To Be A Lawyer, Joins Biglaw Firm

    Where did he go to law school and where does he now work?

    31 Comments / / Dec 18, 2014 at 12:21 PM
  • Uhh... thanks for the bonus?

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.18.14

    * Many Biglaw firms seem to be dragging their feet to match Davis Polk’s generous bonus scale. Why’s that? According to one partner, these bonus matches have cut into his firm’s profits by about 4 percent. Yikes! [The Economist]

    * Total 1L enrollment in law school is the lowest it’s been since 1973, when there were 53 fewer schools. The next step would be to reduce tuition to 1973 levels, and then no one would have any more complaints. [DealBook / New York Times]

    * Just because Bingham McCutchen bit the big one, it doesn’t mean that all of its pro bono cases will have to suffer the same fate. Not only did Morgan Lewis rescue most of the firm’s attorneys, but it’s also saving 500 of its pro bono cases. [Am Law Daily]

    * Now that President Obama has decided to reopen diplomatic relations with Cuba, lawyers are champing at the bit for more business opportunities. Love Cuban cigars? Well, lawyers love trademark disputes involving those cigars. [National Law Journal]

    * Greenberg Traurig reminds Florida clerks that if they issue gay marriage licenses, they could be criminally charged. Plaintiffs’ attorneys remind Florida clerks that if they refuse to issue gay marriage licenses, they could be sued. [Tampa Bay Times]

    * Our managing editor, David Lat, sat down with Vivia Chen to dish about some of his favorite things, from his new book, Supreme Ambitions (affiliate link), to his new fiancé. Her book review: “I liked it! It’s a fun, breezy read.” Hooray! [The Careerist]

    15 Comments / / Dec 18, 2014 at 9:01 AM
  • hire me girl

    Law Schools

    Experienced Lawyers Pity Recent Law School Graduates

    Do you think recent law school graduates are deserving of lawyers’ sympathy?

    26 Comments / / Dec 17, 2014 at 1:45 PM
  • Justices Elena Kagan and Antonin Scalia

  • money magnet

    Biglaw, Bonuses, Money

    Associate Bonus Watch: Another Firm Beats The Market!

    You could easily say that this firm is minting money for its associates. Which firm could it be?

    10 Comments / / Dec 17, 2014 at 11:06 AM
  • Beyoncé and Jay-Z

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.17.14

    * Law school enrollment continues its death spiral for the fourth year in a row, with enrollment down about 28 percent since 2010. Some schools — about 25 of them — have reported enrollment dips of more than 20 percent. Celebrate good times, come on! [National Law Journal]

    * Beyoncé and Jay-Z, the queen and king of rap royalty, have been sued over a sample that was allegedly used in their hit song, “Drunk in Love.” When asked for comment on the suit, our bae Bey kept it short and sweet: “Bow down, bitches.” [A.V. Club]

    * Yoohoo, SCOTUS, pay attention to this one: The first federal judge has weighed in on President Obama’s executive order on immigration, and in a four-page takedown, found it unconstitutional and “beyond prosecutorial discretion.” [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Katrina Dawson, an Australian lawyer who worked at Eight Selborne Chambers, was killed during the Sydney terrorist siege earlier this week. She reportedly died in an attempt to save a pregnant law firm colleague from a hail of gunfire. [Am Law Daily]

    * Lawyers and law students dressed in suits hosted a “die-in” in the pouring rain outside of a courthouse in downtown L.A. yesterday. Professor Priscilla Ocen of Loyola Law made some great points on a bullhorn. [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]

    33 Comments / / Dec 17, 2014 at 9:04 AM
  • Justice Antonin Scalia

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 12.16.14

    * “If you can’t disagree on the law without taking it personally, find another day job. You shouldn’t be an appellate judge.” You’ve really got to admit that sometimes, Justice Scalia has an absolutely wonderful way of putting things. [Associated Press]

    * David Boies sent everyone and their mother and their dog a letter asking them to destroy all docs leaked from the Sony hack, lest they face legal consequences, but there’s just one problem with that pesky First Amendment. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * The law students who requested exam delays due to unfair grand jury decisions claim they’re not “coddled Millennials” — no, they’re members of the new regime of lawyers who are willing to ask, “If not us, then who?” [National Law Journal]

    * Please keep in mind that these students are likely the same ones who may be missing out about learning the intricacies of rape law because they want their professors to “protect them from causing or experiencing discomfort.” [New Yorker]

    * Well, this is an interesting round of musical chairs: Vice Media just poached James H. Schwab, the chairman of the media and entertainment practice group at Paul Weiss, to join the company as co-president. [DealBook / New York Times]

    * Undergrad students at Boston University are trotting out the latest edition of the school’s pre-law review. Feast your eyes upon the genius of future gunners, or don’t, because it’ll help them learn early that no one actually reads law reviews. [BU Today]

    20 Comments / / Dec 16, 2014 at 9:04 AM
  • Amal Clooney

    Lawyer of the Day, Weddings

    Lawyer Attains One Of ‘Greatest Achievements In Human History’ By Marrying Celebrity

    Her marriage, not her legal work, had a hand in her selection as the most fascinating person of 2014.

    22 Comments / / Dec 15, 2014 at 1:06 PM