Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for ATL in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she helped write ATL’s Morning Docket under the pseudonym Morning Dockette. Her writing has been featured on other legal blogs, such as Lawyerist and Ms. JD. Staci graduated from Lehigh University, and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. In her spare time, Staci enjoys watching reality television, shopping for clothes she doesn't need with money she doesn't have, and singing along to Lady Gaga's latest hits.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

– Signs found taped to a window near York County Magisterial District Court Judge Ronald J. Haskell’s courtroom in York, Pennsylvania.

(What could have happened to necessitate these signs being posted?)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Court Shockingly Refuses To Accept Money From Defendants’ Disgusting Underwear”

Teresa Giudice

It’s time for me to wake up. I do need to read things before I sign them. I do need to understand things before I sign them. … I gotta make sure I fully understand something, or fully read it, or find a lawyer — like a contract lawyer — that could help me. Because, you know, I don’t read contracts every day.

– Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice, explaining some of the ways she plans to change her life in the wake of receiving a 15-month sentence for mail, wire, and bankruptcy fraud. She’ll report to prison on January 5, 2015.

(Giudice claims she was “shocked” to have received a prison sentence, even after signing a plea agreement that called for up to 27 months of jail for her crimes. Why was she so shocked? The answer might make your brain hurt.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Reality TV Star Claims She ‘Didn’t Understand’ That Her Plea Agreement Meant Possible Jail Time”

When you’re in law school, you’ll have the option of buying new books, or slightly cheaper used books. If you choose to buy someone else’s used book, then God bless you, because you might be stuck with errant highlighting and incredibly moronic notes in the margins. Since law students can be crass, you might even find some offensive remarks scrawled throughout the pages of your book.

Why go through the trouble of buying used books when you’ll have to deal with so much annoyance? Because you’ll be able to take revenge upon the prior owner with your own clever margin notes…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Caption Contest: Wherein Law Students Fight Over Politically Incorrect Margin Notes”


Here in the “new normal,” it seems that law schools are willing to give anything a try if it will mean putting more students’ butts in seats, including, but not limited to, splitting their branch campuses into entirely separate schools. In fact, as long as the ABA is poised to approve the split, why not just give both schools a new name entirely?

That’s exactly what one law school is trying to do.

Can you guess which one?

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* Since SCOTUS punted on same-sex marriage, people in states where gay marriage bans still exist are wondering when it will be their turn. It’s just a waiting game from here on out. [USA Today]

* Babies wait for no one: a pregnant lesbian couple fighting the Texas ban on gay marriage filed an usual request asking that the Fifth Circuit hurry up and schedule arguments. [WSJ Law Blog]

* The “puff, puff, pass” defense? Robel Phillipos, friend of accused Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, claims he was so high during the aftermath he can’t remember a thing. [Bloomberg]

* When should you apply to law school? When you can get into a top school, have clear career objectives, and won’t have to take out loans. You’re preaching to the choir. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* A Burger King customer is suing because he claims the restaurant’s manager attacked him with a knife and a Taser. This all allegedly happened over some cold onion rings, of course. [New York Daily News]

If part of your reason for going to law school is that, well, there’ll be a good job that you like and will pay well afterwards, then you’re maybe mistaken. There’s more than 90,000 lawyers in Illinois, and I’m not confident there’s enough jobs. Law school is no longer a safe road to a successful career.

Matthew Willens, the lawyer behind the “Anything but Law School” scholarship, explaining why he created the monetary award last year.

(If you’d like to apply for this scholarship, you can find the details here.)

Earlier this year, when we mentioned lawyers’ love lives (or the lack thereof), we wrote that “[l]awyers may not lead the most luxurious of lifestyles, but if you’re single and looking, it’s still a profession that will make prospective dates ooh and aah.” In fact, “[m]ost people in the average dating pool think being a lawyer is a road to riches, thus making these eligible bachelors even more appealing.”

Some lawyers, though, really do have the full package — they’re handsome, well-educated, and filthy rich. To that end, Gotham Magazine is currently running its Most Eligible Bachelors competition, and as luck would have it, some influential attorneys made the list.

Feast your eyes upon some of Biglaw’s best and brightest, and then vote for your favorite…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “New York’s Most Eligible Biglaw Bachelors”

Too many lawyers are wearing this name badge.

* The Supreme Court’s new term kicks off today, and lawyers are pumped — especially since “the Roberts court [may] be to the rights of gays and lesbians what the Warren court was to the rights of African Americans.” [New York Times]

* But come on, the Supreme Court hasn’t even decided to take up a same-sex marriage case for October Term 2014, you say. Not to worry, because “[h]owever slow the term is starting, it could obviously explode.” [USA Today]

* This year’s law firm merger pace is slightly more robust than last year’s record-breaking rate. Lawyers should probably get ready for some real merger mania before the new year comes. [Am Law Daily]

* The legal services sector just lost the largest number of jobs in a one-month period in almost five years. Our condolences to recent law school graduates who are still searching for employment. [WSJ Law Blog]

* On the other side of the spectrum, this recent law school graduate has it made. This former bank robber turned D.C. Circuit clerk just found out he’ll be allowed to take the bar exam. Yay! [National Law Journal]

This summer, we began reporting on the uphill battle the Thomas M. Cooley Law School faced with regard to its declining revenue and student enrollment. In early July, we were the first to break the news that Cooley Law would stop accepting first-year students at its Ann Arbor campus as part of a “financial management plan.” At the time, James Robb, the law school’s associate dean of external affairs and senior counsel, said there were no plans to close the campus.

Plans apparently changed quickly, because at the end of July, we learned that Cooley Law was considering consolidating the Ann Arbor campus with other Cooley campuses by the end of the fall 2014 semester. Once again, Robb assured the media that no definitive plans had been made yet.

Now that we’re almost halfway through the fall 2014 semester, it seems that Cooley Law has begrudgingly decided to lie in the bed that it has made. This may be the first law school campus closure since the public started learning that legal education wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be…

Please note the UPDATE posted below.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Cooley Law School To ‘Cease Operations’ At One Of Its Campuses”

Teresa Giudice

For a moment, I thought about probation. For a moment. I need to send a message that it isn’t who you are, how famous you are. If you do something wrong, there will be consequences to pay. Confinement is absolutely necessary in this case.

– Judge Esther Salas of the District of New Jersey, speaking during Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice’s sentencing yesterday afternoon. Giudice was sentenced to serve 15 months in prison, and her husband, Joe Giudice, was sentenced to serve 41 months in prison.

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