Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for Above the Law in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she pseudonymously wrote the site's Morning Docket column. Staci graduated from Lehigh University and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. Before deciding to pursue writing as a full-time career, Staci worked at a small law firm. Her writing has appeared in other legal publications, such as Judgepedia, Lawyerist, and Ms. JD. She has been featured on various television and radio programs, like CNBC's Power Lunch, CBS Radio News, BBC Radio, CLTV Chicago, HuffPost Live, TF1 TV France, Chicago Public Radio, Civil Discourse Now, KGNU Denver, and iHeartMedia Denver.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

  • Businesspeople bound by red tape

    Fabulosity, Law Schools

    Everything Is Better When Lawyers STFU

    The world would be a better place if lawyers just stopped talking.

    21 Comments / / Jun 18, 2015 at 1:32 PM
  • will-work-for-food

  • John Stamos (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.15.15

    * From Fuller House to the Big House? Actor John Stamos was arrested for driving under the influence and briefly hospitalized this weekend. Listen, Uncle Jesse, we know you’re still a celebrity, per se, but as Joey Gladstone would say, you really need to cut it out, capice? [Variety]

    * “You’re right, I am the man.” Former U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder received a warm reception during his keynote at the American Constitution Society convention’s opening gala this weekend when an audience member shouted out, “Eric Holder, you the man!” [Legal Times]

    * Lawyers, here’s a useful practice pointer on “reverse sexism.” Per a new study, men on three-judge panels of federal appellate courts tend to “view women as damsels in distress who need their protection,” but are much harsher on male litigants. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * More law schools are opening solo incubators and firms, boosting their employment stats and losing hundreds of thousands of dollars along the way. Rutgers Law lost $100K, but it’s a small price to pay to make it look like your grads get “jobs.” [Associated Press]

    * “Time to engage counsel?” This is the question that parents are being forced to ask themselves in the face of legal liability waivers for post-prom parties. Seriously? Man, am I glad I was in high school before parents became contractual killjoys. [New York Times]

    25 Comments / / Jun 15, 2015 at 8:58 AM
  • Sammy is so sad.

    Benchslaps, Samuel Alito, Supreme Court

    Samuel Alito Gets A Supreme Benchslap

    Uh oh. What kind of trouble has Justice Alito gotten himself into now?

    48 Comments / / Jun 12, 2015 at 1:14 PM
  • 'And then I said I didn't know they were prostitutes.'

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.12.15

    * If you’re having girl problems, he feels bad for you son, he’s got 99 problems, but an aggravated pimping charge ain’t one. Ex-IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn was acquitted on his latest sex scandal charges by a French court. [Bloomberg Business]

    * “Justice may be blind, but she still sees it our way 88.4% of the time.” Humblebrag? Quinn Emanuel may kick ass at winning trials, but its percentage of “wins” advertised on airport signage has gone down by 3.9% since 2008. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Which Biglaw firms had the greatest percent changes in headcount in the first half of 2015? With a 29.2 percent drop, McKenna Long & Aldridge is leaking lawyers like a sieve. Irella is in second place, with attorney headcount down by 22.8 percent. [Am Law Daily]

    * Say hello to the National Cannabis Bar Association, an organization that’ll help you get some higher education as you navigate through the haze of marijuana laws. If you want to learn more, then come to our marijuana law event next week in Denver. [ABA Journal]

    * If you’d like to strengthen your law school application, then you may want to consider getting to know some current professors and alumni from the school of your choice. That way, you can suck up while you’re sucking up. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

    15 Comments / / Jun 12, 2015 at 8:59 AM
  • 01-angry-judge1-300x221

    Benchslaps, Fabulosity, Technology

    Judge Shames Lawyers Over Midnight Filings In Awesomely Sarcastic Order

    Sometimes putting pleadings off until the last minute will come back to bite you in the ass.

    42 Comments / / Jun 11, 2015 at 1:33 PM
  • growing tax

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.10.15

    * The number of law school applicants and applications continues to plummet, with applicants down by 2.5 percent and the volume of applications down by 4.6 percent since last year. For the love of God, students are staying away for a reason. Do some research, people. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Lawyers may be thanking their lucky stars for loan repayment programs like IBR and PAYE, but when their cancellation of debt income comes back to bite them in the ass in the form of a “tax bomb” as early as 2032, they’re going to be crying for mercy. [TaxProf Blog]

    * If the Supreme Court rules against same-sex marriage, life could devolve into chaos for gay and lesbian couples. Sure, SCOTUS could do that, or “a giant meteor could fall on [your] head in the next five seconds,” but one is more likely to happen than the other. [AP]

    * You had one job, Dean Cercone… ONE JOB! After recommending against accreditation back in May, the ABA convened this week to officially deny provisional accreditation to Indiana Tech Law. Its handful of students will be so disappointed. [Indiana Lawyer]

    * Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert pleaded not guilty in his sex scandal cover-up case and was released on $4,500 bond. Interestingly enough, the judge has volunteered to remove himself due to some potential issues over his impartiality. [New York Times]

    7 Comments / / Jun 10, 2015 at 9:00 AM
  • money cash pile of money benjamins

    Biglaw, Money

    It’s Easy To Joke About Money When You Own A $4.8M Stake Of Your Firm

    How much did this Biglaw firm raise through its initial public offering?

    13 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 3:28 PM
  • pink slip LF layoffs

    Biglaw, Layoffs

    Nationwide Layoff Watch: Biglaw Firm Hands Out 100+ Pink Slips

    Which firm would do such a thing in the middle of summer associate season?

    32 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 10:03 AM
  • police crime tape

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.09.15

    * Ex-House Speaker Dennis Hastert, most recently of Dickstein Shapiro, finally found a lawyer to represent him in his sex scandal cover-up. His new lawyer may not be “the brightest guy in the world,” but he does do white-collar defense at Sidley Austin, so there you go. [National Law Journal]

    * Oopsie! A Tennessee lawyer is currently being held on $15 million bail because he allegedly solicited an undercover police officer to kill his estranged wife. He even gave the guy a “down payment for the murder.” We wonder how much he thought his spouse was worth dead. [Nashville Sun Times]

    * In times like these, you’re going to need a great network in order to get a job after law school, and some schools are superior to others in that department. Check and see if your alma mater made the grade on this ranking. [Business Insider via GraduatePrograms.com]

    * Concordia Law just received the gift that keeps on giving from the ABA — provisional accreditation. The news came just in time for its nine remaining third-year students to graduate and take the bar exam (everyone else transferred out). [Idaho Statesman]

    * Kalief Browder, a man used as an example of our broken justice system, was sent to Riker’s Island when he was 16 years old. He never had a trial, and was never convicted, but still spent three years in jail. He recently committed suicide. RIP. [New York Times]

    18 Comments / / Jun 9, 2015 at 8:55 AM
  • Justice Scalia is laughing at your criticisms.

    Uncategorized

    Justice Antonin Scalia Is Here To Rain On Your Nazi Parade

    What a colorful commencement speech.

    19 Comments / / Jun 8, 2015 at 1:45 PM
  • Charlie Brown (Photo by Laura Cavanaugh/Getty)

    Cartoons / Comics, Crime

    Good Grief! ‘Charlie Brown’ Calls Judge An A**hole

    He’s accumulated enough criminal charges that it would make sense for him to star in “It’s the Great Rap Sheet, Charlie Brown.”

    36 Comments / / Jun 8, 2015 at 12:03 PM
  • Jennifer Lopez (Photo by Mike Coppola/Getty Images)

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.08.15

    * After a particularly bootylicious performance in Morocco that was aired on live TV, singer Jennifer Lopez is facing a lawsuit which alleges that she “disturbed public order and tarnished women’s honor and respect.” Her first affirmative defense: Dat ass tho. [Newsweek]

    * Our congratulations go out to Texas Supreme Court Justice Don R. Willett (@JusticeWillett) for achieving the rare and prestigious honor of being recognized as the “Tweeter Laureate of #Texas.” Way to dole out judicial wit and humor 140 characters at a time, Your Honor. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Howrey gonna pay our creditors if we can’t cash in on unfinished business? A judge recently overturned this failed firm’s bankruptcy court win, noting that since “[t]he law firm defendants performed the work; they deserve the pay.” [Dow Jones Business News]

    * Sorry, job hunters, but despite what you may have heard about the boom years being back, the legal job market is stuck in a “pattern of anemic growth,” and it’s been that way since the Great Recession. Please give your mother our condolences. [Am Law Daily]

    * It’s only a matter of time before the majority of U.S. states legalize marijuana, and Illinois may be the next in line to do so. If you’re thinking about joining the green rush and want to learn more, come to our marijuana law reception next week. [Chicago Tribune]

    15 Comments / / Jun 8, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • failed

    Bar Exams, Law Schools

    Which Law Schools Allegedly Paid Students Not To Take The Bar Exam?

    Unsurprisingly, this isn’t the first time we’ve heard allegations of a law school doing something like this.

    25 Comments / / Jun 5, 2015 at 11:18 AM
  • ArrowGoingDown

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.05.15

    * Per Dean David Herring, applications have tanked at New Mexico Law (ATL #18) — we’re talking a 30% drop over the past five years. Wait, no, nevermind, the school’s assistant admissions dean says things are great. Oops? [Albuquerque Journal; Albuquerque Business First]

    * Gov. Chris Christie thought he was through with the Bridgegate scandal, but oh, how wrong he was. His former deputy chief of staff’s lawyers want to subpoena Gibson Dunn’s work product, but the firm claims it doesn’t exist. [Talking Points Memo]

    * ¡Ay dios mío! This week, a New York appellate court ruled that Cesar Vargas, an undocumented immigrant, should be eligible to practice law in the state, completely sidestepping federal law and a Justice Department brief to the contrary. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Concordia Law is getting a second chance at obtaining provisional accreditation from the ABA. This would’ve been way more helpful before the majority of its third-year students transferred to an accredited school so they could take the bar exam. [Idaho Statesman]

    * The ex-GC of Zara has filed a discrimination suit against the fashion retailer, claiming that he was fired because he’s Jewish, American, and gay. Apparently senior executives used slurs as ugly as the company’s clothes. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg BNA]

    12 Comments / / Jun 5, 2015 at 9:01 AM
  • Alan Dershowitz

    Alan Dershowitz, Old People

    Alan Dershowitz Pees, Slips, Falls, Sues

    This legal luminary blames the accident on a lack of paper towels in the bathroom.

    46 Comments / / Jun 4, 2015 at 2:11 PM
  • Allison Bergman

    Legal Ethics, Sex Scandals

    Ex-Biglaw Partner Gets License Suspended For Sexual Relationship With Client

    A lesson for all lawyers: never let a client check out your “briefs.”

    33 Comments / / Jun 4, 2015 at 11:16 AM
  • Game of Loans

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 06.04.15

    * If you’re having trouble making payments on your law school debt, don’t fall prey to a loan-relief scam. You may already be six figures in the hole, but you should take this quiz to see if you’re about to lose your shirt — yet again. [U.S. News & World Report]

    * For the second time in two years, the ABA will reconsider whether law students should be able to receive pay for credit-bearing externships. Come on already, give these people a chance to make a buck before they graduate. [National Law Journal]

    * Here’s an important memo for Judge Mark Fuller of the Middle District of Alabama: Just so you know, if you don’t resign on August 1 as promised, the House Judiciary Committee is probably going to bring impeachment proceedings against you. HTH. [Daily Report]

    * It’s not a merger (yet), they’re just “exploring synergies”: Albany Law School and SUNY Albany will affiliate in order to help students from both schools. Check out the memo, complete with an exploding fellowship offer for new students. [Albany Business Review]

    * Vice is suing a small business named Virtue Marketing, alleging trademark infringement. Apparently the media company’s in-house marketing agency is also called Virtue. Hey, Vice, just change the name to Greed and you’ll be set. [THR, Esq. / Hollywood Reporter]

    12 Comments / / Jun 4, 2015 at 9:00 AM