Staci Zaretsky

Staci Zaretsky became an editor for Above the Law in June 2011. Before becoming an editor, she pseudonymously wrote the site's Morning Docket column. Staci graduated from Lehigh University and Western New England University School of Law, where her writing was published in the Western New England Law Review. Before deciding to pursue writing as a full-time career, Staci worked at a small law firm. Her writing has appeared in other legal publications, such as Judgepedia, Lawyerist, and Ms. JD. She has been featured on various television and radio programs, like CNBC's Power Lunch, HuffPost Live, TF1 TV France, Chicago Public Radio, and Civil Discourse Now.

Posts by Staci Zaretsky

  • depressed head in hands

    Bankruptcy, Benchslaps

    Beleaguered Banker Benchslapped Back To The Stone Age

    Whatever you do, don’t lie to a judge. They really don’t like it when litigants do that.

    8 Comments / / Jan 21, 2015 at 2:15 PM
  • Facebook-hacker

    Events, Privacy

    Does Privacy Even Exist Anymore In America?

    For the average American, privacy doesn’t mean a thing — until it must.

    7 Comments / / Jan 21, 2015 at 1:01 PM
  • United States Capital

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.21.15

    * Nothing is f*cked here, Judge: With first-class flights, alcoholic beverages, and hotel movies already nixed, lawyers who worked on the City of Detroit’s municipal bankruptcy case are now being forced to defend their multi-million dollar billables. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * “It’s important to have different perspectives in Congress. It really adds a lot to the mix.” That said, which law schools are the best at producing lawmakers? You may be surprised by some of the schools that made the list. [National Law Journal]

    * “Going to law school is still a great option,” says the dean of the University of Arizona James E. Rogers College of Law, a school whose 25th percentile LSAT scores dropped by six points year over year. Toss UA Law a pity application. [Daily Wildcat]

    * Per the defense in the Aurora movie theater massacre case, the prosecutor’s “insistence upon the death penalty certainly seems politically motivated” — that, or maybe James Holmes deserves the death penalty for killing 12 people. [ABA Journal]

    * By now, everyone’s heard of the woman who’s planning to “marry” her biological father and move to New Jersey. Believe it or not, incestual adult relationships are actually legal in the Garden State thanks to a legislative screw-up. [NJ Advance Media]

    17 Comments / / Jan 21, 2015 at 9:05 AM
  • angry pre law

    Caption Contests, Libraries / Librarians, Pictures

    Caption Contest Winner: Undergrads, Get The Hell Out Of The Law Library

    “Oooooo I’m bad!” Which law school did this controversial Snapchat come from?

    3 Comments / / Jan 20, 2015 at 2:00 PM
  • Supreme Court

    Supreme Court

    Who Is The Most Sarcastic Justice On The Supreme Court?

    Go ahead, take a wild guess.

    10 Comments / / Jan 20, 2015 at 12:47 PM
  • Uhh... thanks for the bonus?

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.20.15

    * Fried Frank is closing down its Hong Kong and Shanghai offices because they were costing the firm more money than they were bringing in. What’ll happen to the lawyers who work there? Most of them will be huòdé dìyù. [Am Law Daily]

    * Not everyone can match the New York market when it comes to Biglaw bonuses. According to disputed rumors, associates in some practices of at least one Chicago law firm didn’t receive any bonus at all. Which firm? [Crain’s Chicago Business]

    * We often complain that women are getting the short end of the stick in Biglaw, but today we’ve got a nice little caveat. At some large law firms in at least one city, more women are making partner than their male counterparts. [National Law Journal]

    * UVA hired Pepper Hamilton to consult on its inept handling of sexual assault cases while O’Melveny & Myers deals with its Rolling Stone gang rape allegations. Collars shall be half-popped until the school gets serious about these issues. [Newsplex]

    * Whittier Law, home to one of the worst full-time, long-term employment rates in the country, hopes to give grads a “legal leg-up” with its new solo incubator program — because “[e]ducation and training doesn’t end when they graduate.” [Daily Pilot]

    * Wet Seal joined the ranks of teen retailers like Deb and Delia’s when it dumped lots of locations and filed for Chapter 11. New code provisions might’ve sped things along, but like, being a debtor-in-possession is totally uncool. [DealBook / New York Times]

    5 Comments / / Jan 20, 2015 at 9:07 AM
  • Kent and Jill Easter

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.19.15

    * On Friday, the Supreme Court agreed to evaluate the constitutionality of same-sex marriage, and this is perhaps the definitive article on how the justices have been preparing the nation for marriage equality. Get ready for some big gay weddings this summer. [BuzzFeed]

    * Smile for the camera! Kent and Jill Easter, the infamous helicopter-parenting lawyers who went to jail for attempting to frame a volunteer at their son’s school on drug charges, found themselves at the center of a 20/20 story. [ABC News]

    * With it being highly likely that the Supreme Court will declare bans on same-sex marriage by the states unconstitutional, people are wondering which justice will be the one the vote hinges upon. Could it be Chief Justice Roberts? [New Republic]

    * Come on now, the swing vote in the same-sex marriage cases will obviously be Justice Kennedy. The legal tea leaves have been read, and with his majority opinions in Romer, Lawrence, and Windsor, the future has been foretold. [WSJ Law Blog]

    * Steven Metro, the former managing clerk of Simpson Thacher’s New York office, was finally indicted after being charged with insider trading almost one year ago. If you’re interested, flip to the next page to see the juicy indictment. [Am Law Daily]

    * In a new report, the Texas attorney general’s office concluded the forgivable faculty loan program at UT Law not only violated school rules, but also “set into motion a lack of transparency that ultimately led to a lack of accountability.” [Texas Tribune]

    https://www.scribd.com/doc/252991700/Indictment-U-S-v-Steven-Metro

    7 Comments / / Jan 19, 2015 at 9:00 AM
  • je suis charlie 879x539

    Biglaw, Religion

    Biglaw Trainee Posts Islamist Rant On YouTube In The Wake Of Charlie Hebdo Attack

    What is this fellow’s name, and which law firm does he work for?

    83 Comments / / Jan 16, 2015 at 10:43 AM
  • Game of Loans

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.16.15

    * Fewer people are applying to law school. According to LSAC, the number of would-be lawyers who submitted applications is down by 8.5 percent compared to last year. Serious question: How low can we go before all schools are officially in crisis mode? [WSJ Law Blog]

    * You’ll never believe how this guy paid off his law school debt. His parents got a home refi loan, and with the money ($210,000), their son got rid of his student loans. Now he’ll pay his parents’ loan for 30 years. Wow. [Business Insider]

    * Justice Samuel Alito took a break from the SCOTUS docket to receive an award named for the late Judge Edward Becker of the Third Circuit, a man who he said “tried to get federal judges to act in a more sensible way. That’s a real task.” [Legal Times]

    * “[T]hings are getting back to where they were before the recession,” so naturally, state judges — like those in California — are suing over the salary increases they were denied while the recession was in progress. Bless their hearts. [National Law Journal]

    * Hey lawyers, want to seem like you’re smart? Stop sprinkling your briefs with SAT vocabulary words. Just put on a pair of glasses and start using your middle initial more often. For the record, speaking in a pleasant voice is also helpful. [ABA Journal]

    11 Comments / / Jan 16, 2015 at 9:03 AM
  • Who had a ball this summer?

    Biglaw, john quinn

    Work Dries Up At Quinn Emanuel, And Its Leader’s Solution Is For Attorneys To ‘Do Some Fun Stuff’

    Don’t worry, be happy — and most importantly, be thankful that your firm’s leader is this awesome, because there are few like him in the business of Biglaw.

    29 Comments / / Jan 15, 2015 at 2:00 PM
  • angry pre law

    Caption Contests, Libraries / Librarians, Pictures

    Caption Contest Finalists: Undergrads, Get The Hell Out Of The Law Library

    Your law school bans undergrads from sitting in reserved areas for law students, but they keep sitting there anyway. Why can’t these dopey Millennials follow the rules?

    17 Comments / / Jan 15, 2015 at 12:05 PM
  • lawyer with lots of cash

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.15.15

    * From Biglaw to big fields: This Duane Morris attorney decided to put her legal career out to pasture so she could hop on a tractor and become a farmer — and not just any farmer, but an organic farmer. Oooh, how artisanal! [Am Law Daily]

    * Seventy percent of people who make $150K+ get the raises they ask for, and people with law degrees get raises more often than any other degree holders. Walk up to your law firm’s managing partner and demand a raise. We dare you. [U.S. News]

    * The Tenth Circuit affirmed the dismissal of a suit filed by a former Kansas Law student who claimed he was wrongfully expelled. Apparently he forgot to disclose his criminal past, and when the school found out, he got the boot. [National Law Journal]

    * The William Mitchell College of Law welcomed its first class of “hybrid” online students this week. Law school may have lost its flair, but 85 crazy kids ranging in age from their 20s to their 60s jumped at the chance to learn law online. [Star Tribune]

    * Marvel trotted out a familiar law firm plaque to gin up excitement for the premiere of Daredevil, which will be out on Netflix come April. Comic book nerds, rejoice, for Nelson and Murdock will soon be open for business and gracing your screens. [/Film]

    3 Comments / / Jan 15, 2015 at 9:07 AM
  • maggie-gyllenhaal-secretary-crawl-300x467-RF

    Secretaries / Administrative Assistants, Sexual Harassment

    A Legal Secretary’s Super-Salacious Sexual Harassment Suit

    This secretary didn’t want to be a partner’s sexytary, and now she’s suing.

    30 Comments / / Jan 14, 2015 at 12:22 PM
  • gradenfreude

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.14.15

    * In May 2014, we told our readers about the sad state of financial affairs for assistant district attorneys in Massachusetts — they make less money than courthouse janitors. Now is the state finally being encouraged to do something about it. [Boston Globe]

    * The University of Maine School of Law is one of 74 law schools to drop its application fee in the hope of enticing more students to apply. Do these schools legitimately believe it’s the fee that’s keeping students away? [Bangor Daily News]

    * Partners at Bingham McCutchen, the latest Biglaw firm to flop, claim they knew that the end was near about one year ago, when their managing partner informed them that the firm would “active[ly] wait” for money to appear. Yeah… [American Lawyer]

    * The fraud trial for former members of Dewey & LeBoeuf’s top brass was pushed back to April because Joel Sanders hired a new defense attorney. Apparently he had some “irreconcilable differences” with his former counsel. [New York Law Journal]

    * The California Commission on Access to Justice plans to launch a legal incubator program. This will help low-income individuals in need of legal services, and the low-income law grads struggling to put their degrees to work. [National Law Journal]

    11 Comments / / Jan 14, 2015 at 9:08 AM
  • Justice Antonin Scalia

    Non-Sequiturs

    Non-Sequiturs: 01.13.15

    * From the “Why the hell didn’t you settle this?” file: Now that Alexandra Marchuk’s case against Faruqi & Faruqi and Juan Monteverde has gone to trial, it seems the firm is getting all sorts of publicity — mostly negative. [New York Post]

    * Supreme Court justices are really just like us… they show up late to work, too. Because Justice Antonin Scalia was stuck in traffic this morning, Chief Justice John Roberts had to summarize two of Scalia’s opinions from the bench. Oops! [NPR]

    * Speaking of Justice Scalia, the Supreme jurist managed to sneak in a citation to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice in his opinion in Whitfield v. United States to show the common usage of the word “accompany.” [Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post]

    * Remember Dennis Doyle, the lawyer who lost his job and dropped $25K to see every single Knicks game this season? He said this of his tragic endeavor: “I can’t shut it down. I’m in too deep. … I’ll see it through—if it doesn’t kill me first.” [Bleacher Report]

    * An Idaho prosecutor is having regrets over the fact that he chose to issue an arrest warrant for a 9-year-old boy on gum-stealing charges, calling it “a mistake under the circumstances.” That kid must be the coolest on the playground. [ABA Journal]

    * “Trying to suppress [the value of parody] with violence is a fool’s errand.” In the wake of the horror of the Charlie Hebdo shootings, it’s worth recognizing that here in the U.S., we owe much to rappers who have capitalized on free speech. [LinkedIn]

    12 Comments / / Jan 13, 2015 at 5:00 PM
  • portlandia tax lawyer sean

    Quote of the Day, Tax Law

    Tax Lawyers Are Just Like Rock Stars, But Even Sexier

    Deep down inside, each and every tax lawyer is really a rock star.

    19 Comments / / Jan 13, 2015 at 2:31 PM
  • angry pre law

    Caption Contests, Libraries / Librarians, Pictures

    Caption Contest: Undergrads, Get The Hell Out Of The Law Library

    Who stole your seat this time? Lo and behold, it’s one of those goddamn undergrads.

    56 Comments / / Jan 13, 2015 at 12:07 PM
  • ArrowGoingDown

    Morning Docket

    Morning Docket: 01.13.15

    * With fewer and fewer students applying to law school, acceptance rates have skyrocketed. Some, like GW Law, have even been accused of “laundering [their] credentials” by padding their enrollment numbers with transfers. [GW Hatchet]

    * “People don’t graduate from law school understanding the business of law.” That’s just one of the reasons recent grads are having such a tough time getting jobs as associates. Suffolk Law thinks it can help change that. [Boston Business Journal]

    * “This is an example of the system working as intended”: Hundreds of thousands of dollars are due to successful plaintiffs in same-sex marriage cases, and millions of dollars in attorneys’ fees for that work is racking up interest. [National Law Journal]

    * James Risen, the New York Times reporter who refused to out his source as part of a CIA investigation, has won the right to keep his journalistic integrity intact after a long legal battle. Prosecutors have officially dropped him as a witness. [Bloomberg]

    * After much talk about partners heading for the exits before, during, and after the Patton Boggs and Squire Sanders merger, and Bob Luskin has finally left the building for Paul Hastings. We hope his parting wasn’t “painful” for him. [WSJ Law Blog]

    11 Comments / / Jan 13, 2015 at 9:08 AM