Bad Ideas

I remember watching Legally Blonde while I was in law school and realizing even then how unrealistic it was. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the movie and I still do now, but I never for a second thought that my career would be anything like that. I was even more confident that there would be no pink suits in my professional wardrobe.

It seems that not everyone was quite as ready to accept the realities of the professional world. Meet the self-proclaimed Law Lady, Melissa K. Dubose. Ms. Dubose (or MkD, as she has dubbed herself) runs a solo criminal defense practice in Dallas, touting herself as “a brazen straight-shooter with a passion for fighting injustice and a knack for uncovering doubt.”

She also appears to have a knack for dressing as though she works in a David E. Kelley-created law firm. The main page of the website shows MkD in the requisite pink “suit,” staring into the sky with an almost super-hero-like gaze, perhaps caught in the middle of her fight against injustice.

This opening shot is just the beginning of the legal fashion show. A tour through the Law Lady’s website provides a good sampling of the legal services costume changes that MkD has to offer…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Solo Practitioner: Fighting Injustice in Cute Outfits”

En garde, esquire!

Ladies, admit it. Sometimes you dream of going back in time to the days where damsels in distress were rescued by swashbuckling romantics on noble steeds. But in today’s day and age, there seems to be a shortage of heroic knights. And that’s mostly because the crop of men with swords handy leave certain things to be desired — things like good looks, social skills, and the ability to refrain from speaking in Elvish.

But when we heard about Terry Lee Locy, a Florida lawyer educated at the University of Miami School of Law, we thought that maybe this self-described “popular young gentleman known for his quick wit and his athletic physique” could assist his sword-wielding brethren. After all, the last guy we wrote about who was into medieval attire and sharp objects has been accused of murder.

But alas, Terry Locy will be unable to act as the great redeemer for this generation’s battalion of renaissance men. Facing counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and domestic violence battery, he could be sent to his kingdom’s dungeon for up to five years.

Why? Because he’s accused of challenging his girlfriend to a naked duel….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day: A Renaissance Man Who Might Like Naked Sword Fights”

A lot of my closest friends are male. It’s probably because we share the same sense of humor about most things. But sometimes broish pranks cross the line from being funny to freakin’ disgusting at warp speed. Guys, here’s a little tip: anything outside of the bedroom that has to do with giving a girl a protein slurpee usually crosses that line.

Earlier this week, we brought you a story about a sushi roll with “special sauce” that was allegedly served up in New York. Now we learn that a California man who laced a lady’s drink with his load has been ordered to pay for it.

Why did this mediocre mixologist decide to shake up his co-worker’s drink with a shot of his DNA? And how much did the court award to his victim?

Read more at Dealbreaker….

It’s time for some news from the second-best law school in the country, namely, Thomas M. Cooley Law School. Members of the Cooley Law administration had to find something to do with themselves when not busy defending the school’s honor by suing the internet.

Boasting four campuses and more than 15,000 graduates in Michigan wasn’t enough for this elite law school. The nation’s #2 law school needs MOAR CAMPUSES (and unemployed graduates). So the administration started cooking up a plan to remedy this issue, on the down low.

Yet another Cooley Law campus will soon be invading a state near you on the east coast. But which one will be plagued with more unemployed law school graduates?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Because Cooley Law Really Needs Another Campus”

I will always remember the first time I ate sushi. I was pretty grossed out at the idea of eating raw fish (that’s what she said), but my friends told me that I had to try it because it was “oh my God, sooooo good.” I then learned that I should always take my friends’ advice when it comes to trying new food, because I was hooked.

It might have taken me a while to master the art of using chopsticks, but I love sushi. I’d actually go so far as to say I’m obsessed with it.

But when I hear that people are getting “special sauce” with their sushi rolls, it makes me happy I learned how to make sushi myself this year….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: A Sushi Roll with ‘Special Sauce’”

Just when you thought TV had run out of legal drama series concepts, Sony Pictures TV went rummaging through 2004′s trash and resuscitated this old turd: Dead Lawyers.

The series, originally developed for the Syfy channel, follows “a hotshot defense attorney [who] is run over by a bus and finds himself in his own version of hell: a law firm on earth composed of other dead lawyers, all trying to right miscarriages of justice in order to redeem themselves.” Astonishingly, the show never aired.

But in the bleak 2011 world of Two and a Half Jokes, Cumulatively Men and Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, Dead Lawyers just might be solid gold….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Fame Brief: And You Thought Lawyers Were Only Dead Inside”

We’ve all had obnoxious neighbors. The stoners who play music too loud, the dysfunctional lovers who are always yelling at each other… it’s part of life.

Most of us, though, have not lived next door to our own personal cyber-terrorist. Minnesota attorney Matthew Kostolnik has.

His neighbor “launched a calculated campaign to terrorize his neighbors, doing whatever he could to destroy the careers and professional reputations of Matt and Bethany Kostolnik, to damage the Kostolniks’ marriage, and to generally wreak havoc on their lives.”

On Tuesday, the man who published child pornography and sent a death threat to Joe Biden, all under Kostolnik’s name, was sentenced to 18 years in prison. Keep reading to learn more about the worst neighbor since the door-kicking judge….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “This Lawyer Had the Worst Neighbor Ever”

Judge Rhonda Hollander

We mentioned this in yesterday’s Morning Docket, and still you emailed. We mentioned it again in Non-Sequiturs, and still the tips kept coming. Well, fine. By popular demand, here is a full post on the Florida judge who stands accused of photograping a guy peeing in the men’s bathroom.

The Honorable Rhonda Hollander is a traffic court judge. But she seems to have a pretty interesting hobby. She was arrested last week for allegedly taking out her cell phone and snapping pictures of a man peeing in the bathroom. A courthouse police officer tried to stop her from taking these photos.

And that’s when things got weird….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Judge of the Day: Lady Likes To Take Pictures of Men Peeing. What’s Wrong With That?”

I’ve said before that I think that parents need to teach their kids coping mechanisms to deal with bullying from their peers. But it might be foolhardy to expect Baby Boomer parents to instill any kind of internal strength in their children.

Instead, it’s much more likely that the only thing kids these days will learn from their parents will be how to sue those who annoy them. At least, that’s the message one Houston man is teaching his daughter. After a group of middle-school girls apparently posted some nasty comments about his daughter on YouTube, the father — who is also an attorney — sent the girls a cease-and-desist letter. When he didn’t receive a response to the letter, he sued the mean girls for defamation.

For those playing along at home: mean middle-school girls bully other girl, so father uses the law to bully middle-school girls. The only satisfactory ending to this story would be if the fathers of the three defendant girls went over to the lawyer’s house and hoisted him on a flagpole by his underwear….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Dad v. Mean Girls”

File this one under “Disappointing, but not really surprising.”

According to a new study, it turns out that quite a few law students not only break the law, but also post the evidence on Facebook. We’ve already covered why this is a bad idea.

For some reason I keep hoping Facebook has been around long enough that people –- at least those of us older than 16 –- would stop doing stuff like this and this. But I guess I’m just naive.

Let’s look at the study results….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Do Your Facebook Pictures Prove You’re A Criminal?”

Page 12 of 421...8910111213141516...42