Bad Ideas

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True, It Probably Is

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laptop computer coffee newspaper Abovethelaw Above the Law.jpgSeveral readers drew our attention to this fascinating article from our local free weekly, the Washington City Paper:

Wanted: Gullible Lawyers
By Arin Greenwood

I was hired over e-mail. A boss I never met promised me $14,000 a month. How could I fall for that?

Two tipsters have done an especially good job teeing it up, so we’ll just quote from their plugs:

“Have you read this? Very entertaining story about a lot of people who got scammed on craigslist, a sizable portion of which were lawyers. Most interesting is the author’s take on what the goal of the scam was.”

“This is so interesting! Even if you don’t write about it (which you should: any story that includes a hapless and pathetic Columbia law grad, an Indian lesbian, Rupert Murdoch, and 15 lawyers embroiled in a scam de l’amour deserves the full treatment from ATL, no?), you just must read this! Delicious!”

We concur. It’s a bit long, but a wild (and worthwhile) story. Check it out here.

Wanted: Gullible Lawyers [Washington City Paper]
the fake job.. turned into a real article [Arin Greenwood]

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Lawyer of the Day: Peter Cannon

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warning internet fraud Above the Law blog.jpgJust like Justice Anthony Kennedy, Bankruptcy Judge Paul J. Kilburg (S.D. Iowa) does his own internet research. This is a lesson that Peter Cannon, Esq., learned the hard way.
From TaxProf Blog:

Mr. Peter Cannon, a West Des Moines, Iowa attorney, represented Defendant John Petit in an adversary proceeding initiated by Trustee to uncover assets of the Theodore Burghoff bankruptcy estate….

After reading both briefs filed by Mr. Cannon, and concluding that both contained an extraordinary amount of research, the Court directed Mr. Cannon to certify the author or authors of the two briefs. On December 22, 2006, Mr. Cannon certified that while he had prepared both briefs, he had “relied heavily” on an article written by others. The article upon which Mr. Cannon relied is Why Professionals Must Be Interested in “Disinterestedness” Under the Bankruptcy Code, May 2005, (“the Article”) by William H. Schrag and Mark C. Haut, two attorneys of the New York office of Morgan, Lewis & Bockius LLP. The Court located this article on the internet. Mr. Cannon fails to acknowledge or cite this article in either brief.

To be sure, our job involves heavy use of ctrl-C and ctrl-V. But what Mr. Cannon did — “seventeen of the nineteen total pages in the pre-hearing brief are verbatim excerpts from the Article” — went a bit far.
You can find out how much Mr. Cannon charged his client for this plagiarism, and what happened to him next, over here (TaxProf Blog) and here (Volokh Conspiracy).
Judge Orders Attorney to Take Professional Responsibility Course [TaxProf Blog]
Attorney Sanctioned for Plagiarizing Article in His Brief [Volokh Conspiracy]
In re Burghoff [U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the Southern District of Iowa]

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A Primer for Partners: How To Screw Associates Out of Pay Raises

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100 dollar bill Above the Law Above the Law law firm salary legal blog legal tabloid Above the Law.JPGGreedy law firm associates view ATL as a helpful resource. But what about Biglaw partners? They’re greedy too, y’know.
Well, here’s something for all you partners out there. A tipster alerted us to this audio conference, taking place later this month:

*************************************************
IOMA AUDIO CONFERENCES!

ASSOCIATE COMPENSATION:

STRATEGIES TO ATTACK PAY PLANS THAT DRAIN PARTNER PROFITS

September 20, 2007 * 2:00 – 3:30 PM

REGISTER TODAY!
*************************************************

The full conference description, plus commentary, after the jump.

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Jenkens & Gilchrist: No Wonder They Went Out of Business

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Jenkens Gilchrist LLP Jenkins Gilchrist Above the Law blog.jpgIn the wake of the Nixon Peabody theme song controversy, several of you emailed us about the recruiting video prepared by the ill-fated, now-defunct law firm of Jenkens & Gilchrist. One reader drew this interesting connection:

A few years ago, the now defunct law firm of Jenkins & Gilchrest made a recruitment video that made the rounds because it was very ridiculous. Here is a link to the video and a story about it.

The interesting thing is that apparently after Jenkins folded, a number of its lawyers started the Chicago office of Nixon Peabody. See here.

Probably just a coincidence (since the Jenkins tape was definitely made in Austin), but it does appear that corny promotional videos follow these people around. And it does give us another opportunity to laugh at bad law firm recruiting videos.

Correction: As noted in the comments, and confirmed by this article from the American Lawyer, the video wasn’t a recruiting tool per se. Rather, it was the firm’s (winning) submission for a “Most Spirited Company” video competition, sponsored by the Austin Business Journal.
As we previously observed, the video is “mortifying.” But we don’t think it’s as bad as the painfully earnest Nixon Peabody song, since the Jenkens video is arguably tongue-in-cheek.
That’s just our opinion. Check it out for yourself:

Jenkens & Gilchrist – Where Every Day is Game Day [Google Video]
Lawyer video (safe for work, especially if you’re at Jenkens & Gilchrist) [Law.com: Inside Opinions - Legal Blogs]
Jenkens & Gilchrist’s Video Pep Rally Pumps Up Controversy [American Lawyer]

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Nixon Peabody ThemeSongGate: A Synopsis

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Nixon Peabody LLP horrible theme song Above the Law blog.jpgRight now some of you are probably thinking: “Enough already about Alberto Gonzales and Michael Vick! Isn’t there anything else you can write about?”

Of course. Let’s go back to the story of Nixon Peabody, and its ridiculous law firm theme song!

(In preemptive response to those of you who are sick and tired of this story: relax. It’s on its last legs. But if the New York Times writes about us, of course we’re going to acknowledge it. Capice?)

For those of you were on vacation last week — and we know many of you were, based on all the “Out of Office AutoReply” messages we received — you missed a fun story here at ATL.

But don’t worry. If you don’t have time to read our voluminous coverage of the Nixon Peabody theme song, here are some cheat sheets.

You can read this New York Times story, by Michael de la Merced, which nicely summarizes the saga. Or this post, by Peter Lattman, over at the WSJ Law Blog.

Best of all, for those of you who can watch videos — some of you can’t, ’cause you don’t have a private office — check out this awesome video. It appeared over the weekend, but we’re reposting it, because many of you don’t visit ATL on the weekend (and it would be a shame for you to miss it).


Unauthorized Enjoyment of Song Irks Law Firm [New York Times]
Everyone’s a Winner at Nixon Peabody! [WSJ Law Blog]
Re: Nixon Peabody [YouTube]

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Nixon Peabody ThemeSongGate: A Linkwrap

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Nixon Peabody LLP horrible theme song Above the Law blog.jpgSadly, the humorless crew over at Nixon Peabody has had their fabulous law firm song — which, mind you, is NOT a theme song — pulled from YouTube. See here.
Even if it’s gone from YouTube, you can still access “Everyone’s A Winner” as a plain-vanilla MP3 file. Just click here. We incorporate by reference all of our prior commentary on the song.
This memorable tune will also live on in the blogosphere. Numerous fine websites and blogs picked up on the story of the Nixon Peabody song controversy. Here are a few links:
1. Law Firms, the Blogosphere, and Unexpected Attention [Volokh Conspiracy (Orin Kerr)]
2. That ridiculous Nixon Peabody “theme song” was for real [Daily Intelligencer / New York Magazine]
3. Wow. Big law is so lame. With a capital “L” [Legal Antics (Nicole Black)]
4. Nixon Peabody Throws Fantastic Tantrum: Threatens Blogger Over Leaked Song [Keeping Up With Jonas]
5. Blogger contends posting silly leaked law firm song is fair use [ZDNet (Denise Howell)]
6. Everyone’s a Winner (or, Friday Music Blog) [PrawfsBlawg (Liz Glazer)]
7. Sorry, but no one involved is a winner [IPTAblog (Andrew Raff)]
8. Best/Worst Law Firm Song. Ever. [the (non)billable hour (Matt Homann)]
9. OMG…The Worst Song Ever [Two Guitar Heroes and a Cat]
10. Everyone Is A Winner At Nixon Peabody [The Dish Daily]
11. Nobody Is Above the Law [Galley Slaves (Jonathan Last)]
If you know of a link that’s missing, feel free to email us, and we can add it. Thanks!
Update: Additional links:
12. Sure, your firm just gave you a $25k raise, but do you have a theme song? [Sophistic Miltonian Serbonian Blog]
13. Law Firm Going Crazy to Keep Its Corporate Song Off the Internet [The Startup Lawyer]
14. Law Firm Freaks Out That Ridiculous Corporate Song Leaked Out To Blogs [Techdirt]
15. Re. Nixon Peabody [YouTube (ChurchHatesTucker)]
Everyone’s A Winner at Nixon Peabody (mp3 file)
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Nixon Peabody (scroll down)

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ATL Practice Pointers: Clerks, Don’t Date the Prisoners

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meet an inmate Above the Law blog.jpgA relationship between a prisoner — falsely accused, natch — and a compassionate woman on the outside, crusading for his release. What could be more romantic?
Well, if the woman happens to be a court clerk, with responsibility for handling prisoner filings, the situation goes from romantic to problematic. From the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

A deputy clerk at the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco has been fired after striking up a romantic relationship with – and trying to help win the release of – a Washington man serving life in federal prison, court documents show.

Jane Cross, 57, came under scrutiny in June, after she filed a Washington State Bar Association complaint against Kurt Hermanns, an assistant U.S. attorney in Tacoma who handled the prosecution of William G. Moore on methamphetamine and other charges in the mid-1990s. She was placed on leave and subsequently fired last week.

In the immortal words of Def Leppard: Love bites.
More after the jump.

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Nixon Peabody ThemeSongGate: An Update

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Nixon Peabody LLP horrible theme song Above the Law blog.jpgOur most recent post about Nixon Peabody — which has a song, but NOT a theme song — is about to scroll off the ATL front page. And we couldn’t allow that, now could we?
So here’s an update. A few brief points:
1. Some of you have described a fabulous video that accompanied “Everyone’s A Winner at Nixon Peabody.” Sadly, we’ve never seen this video. If you have a copy, please send it to us.
2. We received the song, from multiple sources, as an MP3 file. It was being widely disseminated by email (“FW: FW: FW:”). As far as we know, it was not sent to us by a disgruntled ex-Winner (contrary to the quasi-paranoid speculation of NP brass).
3. As of now, the song remains on YouTube. It has been viewed almost 14,000 times and garnered several accolades, including #26 – Most Viewed (Entertainment) and #11 – Most Linked (Entertainment).
4. In case the song gets yanked from YouTube, you can now access it directly on ATL, as an MP3 file. Just click here. Enjoy!
5. Some of you have inquired into the identities of the NP representatives with whom we spoke yesterday. These individuals expressly asked not to be identified by name (quelle surprise), and we agreed to that request. But we can tell you that they were in-house reps, not external PR people. One is a firm spokesperson, and one works on the business side of the firm. As far as we know, neither is a lawyer.
We haven’t heard more from the firm since yesterday afternoon’s phone call. If we do hear from them again, rest assured that we will let you know.
Everyone’s A Winner at Nixon Peabody (mp3 file)

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Nixon Peabody: This Is Not a Love Theme Song

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Nixon Peabody LLP horrible theme song Above the Law blog.jpgWe’ve been in touch with representatives of the Nixon Peabody law firm about the musical composition that we posted (mp3) and wrote about this morning. First they sent us a statement by email:

“This song was put together in celebration of Nixon Peabody’s Fortune 100 ‘Best Places to Work’ recognition. Nixon Peabody aims to be the best law firm to work with and the best law firm to work for. Fun is not prohibited here.”

Fair enough. But then we spoke with two firm spokespersons by telephone. They called us.

It wasn’t a very “[f]un” conversation. They weren’t happy campers. Even if they may be winners, since “everyone’s a winner at Nixon Peabody.”

this is not a pipe this is not a theme song Nixon Peabody NP Above the Law blog.jpgThey emphasized that the song was internal to the firm and is protected by copyright. They also insisted that it is NOT a “theme song” — in any way, shape or form.

They demanded to know who sent the song to us. We informed them that we don’t reveal our sources, unless served with a subpoena (and maybe not even then — a Judy Miller-style jail stint might be good publicity for ATL).

They asserted copyright over the song and asked us to take it down, from our site and from YouTube. We stated our view that posting and commenting on the song constitutes fair use. It also falls within our newsgathering mission as a media organization.

We explained that our site is all about law firms and the legal profession. They said: “We know what you’re about.”

They claimed the person who leaked this song is “in a fight” with Nixon Peabody, and menacingly stated that they (meaning NP) “don’t intend to let this thing lie.” We informed them that we have no desire to get involved in the firm’s purported dispute with this unnamed individual. And that’s where we left things.

More thoughts after the jump.

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203 Comments

Someone Deserves To Be Shot Over This

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Nixon Peabody LLP horrible theme song Above the Law blog.jpgThe horror! The horror! Multiple sources have forwarded us the MP3 of the frightening Nixon Peabody “theme song,” which is now making the rounds by email.
We didn’t receive it directly from a source at the firm, so it’s theoretically possible that it’s fake. We have contacted Nixon Peabody for comment and will let you know if and when we hear back from them. But in the meantime, we’re inclined to agree with this tipster:

“I wanted to believe it wasn’t real, but it’s so professional. Hard to believe that this wasn’t the product of a misguided recruiting effort and wasted bonus dollars.”

Update (12:05 PM): We’ve been in touch with a Nixon Peabody spokesperson about the song (which is real). We’ll be posting a statement from the firm shortly.
On the musical merits, the song itself is just as horrific as the idea of a law firm theme song. Yes, we miss the eighties, but not this much. The lyrics include such gems as “Everyone’s a winner at Nixon Peabody” (the chorus) and “It’s all about the team, it’s all about respect, it all revolves around integri-tee yeah.”
Check it out for yourself below. But we’re warning you: even though the Nixon Peabody anthem is dreadful, it’s as catchy as HPV. If that “everyone’s a winner” chorus gets stuck in your head for the rest of today, don’t blame us.
But if you’re a plaintiff’s lawyer who wants to file a class action against Nixon Peabody, on behalf of all listeners who do get earworm from this song, please include us in the plaintiff class. Thank you.
(The reason the screen says “Digital Media Converter Trial Version — Please Download” is because we converted the mp3 file to video using a free trial of this file conversion program.)
Update / Correction (2:55 PM): This song is NOT a “theme song.” It was prepared for internal use only, and it was sent to us without the firm’s prior knowledge or consent. The firm objects to all non-internal use of the song. More details here.
Further Update: The YouTube link below is now dead, but you can access the MP3 by clicking here. Or better yet, check out this awesome video.

Everyone’s A Winner at Nixon Peabody [MP3 file]
Nixon Peabody theme song [YouTube]

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