Bar Exams

If corporations really were people, ExamSoft would have to go into hiding right now. Did you see how every New Yorker suddenly had a farm implement or a rifle to deal with Sharknado 2: The Second One last night? That’s what would happen if Mr. ExamSoft was spotted strolling past a group of bar exam takers.

But ExamSoft isn’t a person, it’s a corporation, a corporation that royally screwed up. YOU HAD ONE JOB, ExamSoft, and you didn’t get it done. In America, you are supposed to be able to get your money back when a business screws up this badly. Kids paid between $100 and $150 for software that not only didn’t work but almost ruined their lives. Saying “I’m sorry” isn’t going to cut it.

Unfortunately, “I’m sorry” seems to be the only thing ExamSoft is willing to do at the moment…

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* Could this be the worst judge in the country? [WFPL News]

* “Study Finds College Still More Worthwhile Than Spending 4 Years Chained To Radiator.” Congrats to Michael Simkovic on his new paper. [The Onion]

* The next Hobby Lobby could be Notre Dame, who wants the right to not have to pay for insurance that might possibly allow women to purchase birth control that kind of but aren’t really abortifacients in any scientific sense. It’s represented pro bono by Jones Day. Honestly, I don’t have it in for Jones Day, but it seems like everysingledamntime I write something about a firm doing awful things I end up typing J-O-N-E-S-D-A-Y at some point in the article. [MSNBC]

* Helpful judge tells criminal to change his ways — not because he’s a criminal, but because he’s a really bad criminal. [Huffington Post]

* J.D.s should consider panhandling as a legitimate career alternative. [Law and More]

* Lat explains why apprenticeship should be an option for becoming a lawyer. But what if you just love law school so much. [New York Times]

* Remember when Examsoft screwed up the bar exam and the Twittersphere went nuts? WBEZ spoke with Lat about what went down. Embed below… [SoundCloud]

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ExamSoft made many bar takers cry last night.

In case you’re not already well aware, last night the legal profession stood witness to the biggest bar exam disaster in history. Bar exam takers nationwide were absolutely enraged — as they rightfully should have been — because ExamSoft’s servers were overrun by thousands of aspiring lawyers trying to upload their essays before their state’s deadline came and went.

Instead of going about their business and exhibiting “forbearance with the situation” as requested by the bane of their collective existence, bar takers flocked to Twitter to shake their virtual fists in anger in tweets directed at ExamSoft.

As you can imagine, there were some very entertaining tweets being sent out. If you love schadenfreude and other people’s pain brings you pleasure, you’ll love this…

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Making life hard is a GIANT understatement. Judging from the dozens of furious emails, text messages, and tweets we’ve received over the past few hours, this appears to be the biggest bar exam debacle in history. It’s certainly the most serious bar disaster I’ve ever covered in the eight years since I started Above the Law. Bar takers around the country are in full-on meltdown mode.

Just like ExamSoft, the apparent source of the problems. An unknown number of bar candidates, but surely numbering into the thousands, cannot upload their completed exams to ExamSoft — despite deadlines for doing so (which vary from state to state).

Keep reading for disaster reports from around the country, plus statements from ExamSoft….

(Please note that we will be UPDATING this post, so refresh your browser for the latest.)

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I realize today is the first day of the bar exam for many. Not much else to say at this point except “good luck.”

Whatever you do, take some time afterwards for yourself. If you have a job already lined up, no excuses; even if you don’t, you will still need some no-thinking time.

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The bar exam is tomorrow. I always think that the emergency broadcast system should let you know when the bar exam is coming. Just so you, as a person who is not taking the bar, know that you shouldn’t make any sudden movements outside of the Javits Convention center in New York. Or wherever else stressed out lawyers are being herded together in your town. Stay indoors. And for the love of God, don’t slip and fall in public. Bitches be crazy.

If you are actually taking the bar tomorrow, don’t forget to send us your stories about how the bar went for you. It’ll be an excellent one. We’ve had bar exams that included earthquakes, cattle barns, and general disasters. Who knows what awesomeness awaits this year.

But if you really are reading online right just hours before the bar exam, you probably are looking for some advice. And you are probably well past the point where “study tips” will do you any good. Let’s face it, reading Above the Law 18 hours before the bar exam is kind of like telling yourself, “I’m gonna fail, but it’s gonna be okay.”

Since I’m apparently in a tip-giving mood, I’ve put together some advice with those people in mind. These tips won’t help you pass, but you will definitely fail if you do not follow them…

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Ed. note: This post was originally published on July 17, 2007. We republish it today, with a few updates added, to remind our readers taking the bar exam later this month that even though you surely won’t fail — especially if you’re having fun studying — even failing the bar won’t stop you from having a spectacular career, in the law or elsewhere. Good luck!

We recently wrote about Paulina Bandy, that poor creature who failed the California bar exam thirteen times, before finally passing it on try #14. Her story seems to have freaked out some of you who are sitting for the bar exam later this month.

Relax. Take a deep breath. You won’t wind up in a 365-square-foot shack in your mom’s backyard. Chances are, you will pass. And even if you fail the bar once or twice, you’re still not on your way towards Paulina Bandy-dom.

As it turns out, a number of well-known individuals — some famous for their accomplishments in law, and others for different reasons — didn’t pass the bar on the first (or even second) try….

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Ed. note: Please welcome Above the Law’s guest conversationalist, Zach Abramowitz, of blogcasting platform ReplyAll. You can see some of his other conversations and musings here.

I’ve used this conversational pulpit to whine about first-world problems like law school exams, Biglaw summer programs, and the like. But if there was one part of my legal experience that I truly enjoyed, it was studying for the bar exam. And one of the main reasons that I loved studying for the bar — I will get into the others soon — was the man who bookends the BARBRI courses each year with his lectures on Torts and Family Law: Roger Schechter. In the conversation posted below, I’ll learn a little more about the man who’s had prospective bar exam takers cracking up in their seats for the last 24 years, and see if he has any other suggestions for making bar study more fun and rewarding — oh, and making sure you pass!

Professor Schechter and I will be creating this conversation using ReplyAll over the course of the week, so check back as the conversations develops. And now, without further ado, the conversation:

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Ed. note: This post comes to us from Professor Joseph Marino, Executive Director of Marino Legal Academy.

I have never met a student that failed the bar exam because they did not know enough law. They failed because they could not score points with the law they knew.

JFK, Jr. failed the bar exam twice with other bar courses, receiving MBE scores of 117 and 118 (scaled), before skyrocketing to a 167 score after some one-on-one time with a trained Marino Tutor and having learned my MBE method.

In the last few weeks of your bar studies, you should focus on how to score points. I call this the “memory and exam performance” part of bar review. Exam Performance Training is learning how to score points. Marino Legal Academy has several well-tested tools to boost your ability to score points on the bar exam…

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* The criminal codes violated in Transformers: Age of Extinction. Violations of the code of good filmmaking not included. [The Legal Geeks]

* Remember the guy who turned Justice Ginsburg’s Hobby Lobby dissent into a song? It turns out he’s been recording a song a day since 2009 and that was his first hit. Congrats! Hopefully next Term Justice Alito can declare suffocating orphans constitutional so this guy can have a follow-up. [Music.mic]

* How to end an internship? The key is drunkenly denouncing all your bosses in public. Oh, how to end an internship positively? Well, then I’m going to need some advice. [Corporette]

* Fracking interests have a new plan to promote the well-being of those living in affected areas: pay them $50,000 to grant universal releases. This doesn’t make fracking sound dangerous at all. [Pro Publica]

* Hey folks taking the New York bar exam at the Javits Center! Order your lunch. [Custom Gourmet]

* Insurance companies are asking American customers to go to Tijuana for medical care. “I know you need heart surgery, but have you considered how awesome it would be to take in a donkey show after your release?” [New Republic]

* Mitchell Epner, who is basically our Donald Sterling beat reporter, has a recap of the first day of the proceedings. [mitchellepner]

* Conviction for multiple sexual assaults “can be the basis of an interim suspension of his law license.” Seems like that should be a little more definite. [Legal Profession Blog]

* One of the underappreciated challenges in state and local governance is the inability to permalink statutes. [Government Executive]

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