Bar Exams

Elie here: It’s finally over. The horror, the exhilaration, the time spent in New Jersey.

Our man Sam is finished with the bar exam. How did it go? How drunk did he get afterwards?

Sam walks us through the experience — the blow-by-blow experience, from the car to the end…

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Last week, we told you that not much seemed to happen during the administration of the New York bar exam. In truth, in New York (and New Jersey), shenanigans usually don’t start until after the state boards of law examiners get their hands on the exams.

Still, things did seem quiet in the tri-state area this bar season. They were more dead than the proverbial curious cat.

But if we move upstate to Albany, there was an actual dead cat. Or perhaps we should say “horrifically murdered” cat? Try not to eat lunch (or take a bar exam) directly after reading this story…

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.27.12

Are you ready for two weeks of sports people only pretend to care about every four years?

* And now for some reflection on the just completed bar exam. [Fink or Swim]

* In most of the country, we slam to door on door-to-door salesmen. In Florida, they shoot them dead. [The Raw Story]

* Here’s another take on how long your hair should be at the office. Apparently it helps to not be stupid. [Sweet Hot Justice]

* Yesterday’s New York thunderstorm had tragic consequences for an area lawyer. [Herald Sun]

* I was on Red Eye on Fox last night/this morning. It’s the first plank in the platform I’m using to run for King of the Homeless. [Red Eye]

* We also covered this ridiculous story about a high school student suing because he got a C+ in Chemistry. [ABC News]

* Uh oh, Mitt Romney has angered Carl Lewis. Now I’m waiting for other relevant 80s athletes to weigh in. Can somebody tell me what Greg Louganis thinks about Romney’s comments? [Politico]

Is the bar exam like a rat race? Well, when there are actual rats in the building....

If you just completed the 2012 bar exam, congratulations. For many of you, the bar exam will be the last test you ever take in your life. How good does that feel?

Special congratulations to those of you who just emerged from three days of bar exam misery, either because you took the bar in a state with a three-day test or because you took the bar in two different states. I took the New York and New Jersey bar exams back to back — and I had to take New York up in Albany, which meant hours of driving with a fried mind — so I feel your pain.

Pain and the bar exam go hand in hand. Earlier this week, we shared with you bar exam horror stories from Virginia and North Carolina.

Today we have many more bar exam dispatches. Read on for stories of horror and heroism, reports of rodents and other creepy critters, and claims of shady behavior….

UPDATE (7/27/2012, 11 AM): Please note the UPDATE appended below regarding the Virginia bar exam.

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(And more horror stories from across the land.)

If you are going to use an excuse for failing the bar exam, it better involve one of these.

The bar exam, Eli my boy. You see, you have a bar exam that is full of sorrows, and I have an internet connection that’s like a straw. You see, are you watching? My internet connection straw reaches across the country and starts to drink your tears milkshake. I drink your tear-shake. I drink it up!

Sorry, I’m not sure why I feel like a traveling oilman today, but I have spent some time drilling in the ATL Inbox for fun stories about things that happened during the first day of state bar exams.

There are some good ones floating around… and by “good,” I mean the kind of crap that will undoubtedly affect the performances of some test takers.

But hey, last year a woman went into labor and delivered her baby after the test and still passed. So I don’t want to hear any excuses — not even from the guy I’m about to tell you about, who had a seizure and had to be carried out on a stretcher….

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Isn't there anyone here who can pass the bar exam???

As thousands of students are currently embroiled in state bar exams across the country, law schools are beginning to wonder about the next crop of exam takers. They’re wondering if next year’s class will bring shame or glory upon their institutions.

One law school seems to be getting proactive about its bar passage rate. Instead of being content with a rate that is near the bottom in its state, they’re making 3Ls engage in some remedial studies.

The only problem is that they only just informed the students last week, and the mandatory course will only apply to students who received poor grades way back during their 1L year.

UPDATE (5:57 PM): Duquesne responded and defended their requirement; see their statement below…

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California bar, it's unforgettable, somebody pukes, most end on top.

As many of you already know, state bar exams start tomorrow. If you are taking the bar tomorrow, WHAT ARE YOU DOING READING ATL??

Just kidding. Relax. It’s gonna be what it’s gonna be.

To get you guys pumped up for the next two or three days, a reader sent us a clip of herself rapping property. If this Hastings student doesn’t make you psyched to take the bar, well, there’s probably never anybody in the history of ever who has been psyched about taking the California bar….

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For all of you out there in soon-to-be lawyer land, good luck on the bar exam this week! You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

We have a few last-minute bar exam tips for you. And let’s see if some of our more seasoned readers have any advice of their own….

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Hey, are you studying for the Bar Exam right now? BOO! Mwahaha. Just kidding. Look, if it makes you feel any better, your fate is probably already sealed. You’ve probably already done enough to pass this test next week, or when the results come back you’re going to be one of those people who makes ridiculous excuses for your poor performance.

So I’d spend most of this weekend just trying to get your head right, instead of trying cram in just a little more criminal procedure.

Of course, nobody actually taking the bar next week is going to listen to that advice. I tried to comfort a friend named Fred about the upcoming exam and he said: “I can’t recall the taste of food, nor the sound of water, nor the touch of grass. I’m… naked in the dark, with nothing, no veil between me and the wheel of fire! I can see him with my waking eyes.”

Letting your mind mix with the movies is not unusual at this stage of bar preparation. One kid really put his heart into it: not into studying exactly, but into coming up with an awesome Batman inspired hypo that he posted on Facebook…

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Well, here we are, just one week ago until those fateful days. How are Nathan, Jeanette, and Andrew doing? Well, understandably they feel a little under the gun.

Our Bar Review Diarists all seem to have their own last-minute procrastination tools: Nathan went to a music festival, Jeanette watches bad television, and Andrew continues making far-out pop culture references. All perfectly normal, perfectly healthy….

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