Herman Cain: Do you miss him yet?
* It’d be easy to say “a former Tea Party candidate posted about assassinating the President.” But it’s probably more accurate to say a crazy, racist, loony person scrawled something naughty on Facebook and is now in trouble. [Huffington Post]
* I’d like to buy this, and then use it to TP Herman Cain’s house while screaming, “It’s less complicated than your sex life!” [Tax Prof Blog]
* I wonder if, a generation from now, people will look back on Citizens United like Plessy v. Ferguson. Like, there will still be a few holdouts saying, “money is speech now, money is speech forever,” but most of society will have moved on to a more enlightened state. [Congressman John Yarmuth]
In my lifetime, Kobe has been one of the most fun players to not like.
* Maybe all we need is a simple Constitutional amendment clarifying that “only people are people.” Corporations are not people. Animals are not people. Artificially intelligent robots who one day rise up to threaten humanity’s existence are not people. [Miller-McCune]
* Oh, Kobe. When you beat a rape rap yet still have to publicly admit you bang hoteliers in Vail, you should just get divorced right then and there. No number of diamond nor championship rings is going to put that back together. She’s still going to kill you in the divorce, and all you’ve bought yourself is a few extra years of living with a woman who openly hates you. [L.A. Now via ABA Journal]
* You think bloggers suffer from group think too much? I vote for 2012 being the year when the mainstream media stops stealing story ideas from the blogs (without credit), and does some actual original reporting again. You know, like they are supposed to with their huge staffs and massive budgets. [What About Clients?]
* Apparently Gloria Allred will only take male clients if they’re controversial enough to keep her in the limelight. She’s representing the alleged sex abuse victims in a suit against Syracuse and basketball coach Jim Boeheim. [CNN]
* Law School Transparency breaks it down for the guy who believes that the “apocalyptic” views of the legal market are “overblown.” Of course, that guy just so happens to be a Cooley Law dean. How convenient. [The Careerist]
* Pleasure you want. Protection you trust. Unfortunately, DLA Piper blew its load all over the FTC’s antitrust probe of Trojan condoms. [Blog of Legal Times]
* Nanny state alert: texting while driving is already illegal in a majority of states, but what about talking while driving? Be prepared, because the NTSB says that’s a big no-no. [Bloomberg]
* You can blame Canada for this one. In February, the world will see the first ever moot court competition play out on Twitter. #noseriously [West Coast Environmental Law]
* You know what, screw the neighborhood. There goes the freakin’ country. Congress’s bipartisan, not-so-super committee has failed to reach an agreement for a deficit reduction deal. [CNN]
* “When the government takes action . . . there are legal limits to what they can do.” And one of those limits is that they can’t screw over any of the AIG shareholders, right, Maurice? [New York Times]
* While NBA players were busy consolidating their antitrust suits in Minnesota, David Boies was being called out by the NBA’s general counsel. Keep it on the in court, Buchanan. [USA Today]
* Remember that time we got arrested at an Occupy Wall Street protest and then sued over it? Probably not the kind of story you want to reminisce about with your future husband. [Bloomberg]
* There are only so many jokes one can make about Justin Bieber. Bottom line: this fetus took a paternity test, and we’re going to find out soon if he’s a baby-daddy. [New York Daily News]
* Only in Texas can a judge get paid leave after a video of him beating his daughter’s ass goes viral. Makes you wonder about the kind of crazy sh*t you’d need to do to get stuck with unpaid leave. [KRIS TV]
* A federal judge has ordered Paul Ceglia to return from Ireland to produce more of his hidden destroyed missing evidence. Oh, Facebook, always trying to steal his lucky charms. [paidContent]
* Memo to the NBA: you know you’re playing on the wrong court, right? On the bright side, at least we don’t have to worry about this happening with the WNBA. Or anyone caring about it if it did. [Bloomberg]
* Bar passage rates for first-time takers in New York were up by half a percentage point. Biggest contributing factor: I didn’t take the New York exam. Yeah, you’re welcome. [New York Law Journal]
* Joe Francis is suing over a debt dispute and vows to take the it to the Ninth Circuit if he loses. He needs to realize that no one cares about what he does unless it involves boobs. [Washington Post]
* Don’t be fat and then smush a lawyer at Shea Stadium. You’ll break her back, she’ll sue, and you might be known as the guy who got fat people banned from the upper deck. [New York Post]
Life's a Blitsch, and then you die.
* “If you love me you’ll pass this bill.” Sorry, Obama, but even the Democrats are busy washing their hair on this one. How about we pass a resolution like this instead? I’d totally love Obama for that. [New York Times]
* What’s with town clerks in New York and gay marriage licenses? If you refuse to do your job, you shouldn’t be forced to resign, you should be fired. Proskauer’s nicer than me, though. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]
* Gary Giordano, the man accused of killing his swinging gal pal in Aruba, has hired a new attorney. Apparently Jose Baez is now the go-to guy for defendants with shady pasts and even shadier alibis. [Daily Mail]
* “Leicester, you are not the father!” If only this had happened on an episode of Maury. Lawyer Leicester Stovell’s paternity suit against LeBron James has been dismissed. [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]
* The Blitsch is back, and she’s got Gloria Allred on her side to file a motion to dismiss. Why? Because all women should have the right to embarrass ex-lawyerly lovers online. [New York Post]
* A case of puff puff politics? You know what, if they gave out free pot before every major election, I bet a lot more people would register to vote. [CNN]
Beata Boman: See what I mean?
* Sprint hopped in bed with Skadden to sue AT&T over its proposed merger with T-Mobile. Somewhere in America, the Verizon guy is cackling with glee. “Can you hear me now, b*tches?” [Bloomberg]
* “I would love to dominate and humiliate and degrade you, privately of course.” Remember this guy? Six of the nine charges against attorney Robert Hoffman have been dismissed. [ABA Journal]
* Another sport, another months-long lockout. NBA owners and players better make a deal soon, or else this year’s basketball season is going to get benched. [New York Daily News]
* Utah wants to throw out the Sister Wives bigamy suit because no one really cares about polygamy except television viewers. Lawsuits are great for Nielsen ratings, though. [Deseret News]
* Ah, the strange anatomy of a privacy lawsuit settlement. Next time you decide to take naked pictures, make sure your laptop didn’t fall off the back of a truck before saving them. [ABC News]
* Socialite Beata Boman got a great deal on her larceny charges. She stole a scarf, but she probably should’ve stole a blazer that fit her massive boobs, instead. [New York Post]
* A jury found Warren Jeffs guilty of sexual assault, confirming that just because there’s grass on the field, it doesn’t mean that you should play ball. [CNN]
* John H. Ray III finally sued Ropes & Gray for treating him like the “token black associate.” That’s only funny on an episode of South Park. [Am Law Daily]
* Evidence in Shaquille O’Neal’s civil racketeering lawsuit has been sealed. Kazaam might have an attitude, but there’s no way he’d ever frame someone for child porn. [South Florida Sun-Sentinel]
* No wire hangers rent-controlled apartments ever! Faye Dunaway: “Can’t evict me, ‘cause I f**cking quit this place. I hope you have a terrible life.” [New York Times]
* Lil Wayne might have some trouble making ladies’ beds rock after being served with this $15M copyright infringement lawsuit. [The Juice / Billboard]
* Christian Louboutin won a small victory against Yves Saint Laurent in court. Maybe soon YSL will be as red with embarrassment as the soles the fashion house tried to copy. [Styleite]
NBA Commissioner David Stern
* The NBA is suing its players for failing to negotiate in good faith. Funny, I think the players are acting with the same “good faith” NBA owners do when they steal teams from loving fan bases or hold cities hostage until they build new arenas. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Having a drunk woman angrily spray breast milk on you is probably not as alluring as it sounds. [Sentencing Law & Policy]
* In other sentencing news, a guy got six weeks in jail for getting his ass kicked by Rupert Murdoch’s wife. [Gawker]
* This is funny because it’s kind of true. [Washington Fancy]
* To win, sometimes lawyers need to be quiet? Man, am I glad I got out of that racket. [Underdog]
* Lawyers should be happy to know that good writing requires doing it over and over and over again. [What About Clients?]
* The market apparently doesn’t like the debt ceiling deal. [New York 1]
Dear Mark Cuban: after you finish telling Fay Vincent where to stick his outdated and nonsensical opinions on what makes a good owner, please buy the New York Mets. We need you. Now that the Boss is dead, New York sports needs you. Lord knows, you wouldn’t have been stupid/unethical enough to be taken in by Bernie Madoff.
And we now know that if you did get in any sort of legal trouble, you are willing to hire the best lawyers around.
That’s right folks, today Mark Cuban’s lawyers showed themselves to have all of the chutzpah of the Mavericks’ owner himself. They filed a motion to dismiss a longstanding case against Cuban by Ross Perot Jr. Apparently, Junior owns a 5% stake in the Mavericks and has accused Cuban of being “reckless” in his leadership of the team.
Reckless in his leadership of the newly crowned NBA champions, that is.
In any event, Cuban’s lawyers decided to graphically dispute that point in a court document….
Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: An ‘Eff You’ Motion to Dismiss”
Ben Wallace will be a great lawyer. Book it.
He’s in his late-30s and has been around the block and seen the world.
He can self-finance his own education and won’t need to make a whole lot of money when he gets out of school.
He has talked to actual practicing attorneys in his hometown to get a sense of what they do for a living.
He’s already thinking about his marketing strategy to sell his legal skills to clients.
Former NBA defensive player of the year Ben Wallace wants to go to law school when he’s done with basketball. He thinks he wants to be a defense attorney.
I think that would be a wonderful decision for him. Not only will he get to experience the intellectual joys of learning a new trade, he’ll be able to employ himself after he’s done and he won’t be in a mountain of debt. Don’t call me a law school hater, I just want everybody to make informed and financially sound decisions like Ben Wallace…
Continue reading “I Finally Found Somebody Who Should Go To Law School: NBA Star Ben Wallace”
Leicester Bryce Stovell
LeBron James is taking his talents to Washington. Well, at least his lawyers are. Lawyers for King James have filed their motion to dismiss the suit filed by Leicester Bryce Stovell, a D.C.-based lawyer. Stovell claims that he is LeBron’s father and that LeBron’s mother, Gloria James, tampered with the paternity test that would have proven his claims. Our own Gabe Acevedo did an interview with Stovell back in July.
We offered LeBron the opportunity to appear on Above the Law during an hour-long special called “The Paternity,” where he would reveal the identity not of his biological father, but of whichever man gave him the best chance of expanding LeBron’s global reach. My money was on Justin Bieber, but so far LeBron has declined our offer.
So, for the moment, we’ll have to content ourselves with what his lawyers say about this Leicester Bryce Stovell character…
Continue reading “After the Way He Treated Cleveland, Why Would Anyone Want To Be LeBron James’s Father?”
Does LeBron James have lawyerly genes?
LeBron James, who’s your daddy? (Unfortunately, it’s not the Knicks, to Elie’s great dismay.) Could it be a Washington lawyer by the name of Leicester Bryce Stovell?
Stovell came forward this week, claiming to have knocked up Gloria James when she was 15 and to have genetic proof that he’s the King’s father. Like all good dads should, Stovell is suing his new-found son and baby mama for $4 million for denying paternity. TMZ reported on the lawsuit on Wednesday along with photos of Stovell, saying the resemblance is uncanny. At the very least, it’s true that they’re both tall.
TMZ was blown away by Stovell’s credentials:
[T]he man making the claim isn’t some schmuck — dude is a Princeton graduate … who earned a law degree from the University of Chicago … and then became a Senior Legal Advisor for the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission.
Au contraire. You can get a law degree from the U of Chicago and still be a schmuck. One of Stovell’s former colleagues attests to that…
Continue reading “Lawyer of the Day: Leicester Bryce Stovell (aka LeBron’s Daddy)”
At 9 P.M. tonight, Lebron James is making his big announcement about where he will play next season.
Cleveland? Chicago? Miami? New York? New Jersey?
What about Europe? (Lebron once told ESPN he might play overseas for $50 Million per year).
NBA players should hope that Lebron chooses Europe. And this is for reasons more important than just their chances of winning an MVP Award…
Continue reading “Sports and the Law: Lebron James to Europe?”
We need help and will threaten legal action to get it.
The legal world might be wrapped up in the Elena Kagan confirmation hearings, and the international community might be wrapped up in the World Cup. But there is one thing that is capturing the minds of many “average Americans”: at midnight Eastern time, NBA free agency starts. LeBron, D-Wade, and the face of major professional basketball will begin to change tonight — and I promise you most Americans care more about who is on their basketball team than who is on their Supreme Court.
Is there a legal angle to the free-agent frenzy that’s about to kick off? Not really, but let’s pretend that there is. A month ago, Dwyane Wade said that he and other top free agents would be “having a meeting” to discuss their options — and this made a lot of people wonder if such a meeting (and any decisions coming out of such a meeting) would be tantamount to collusion and a violation of the Sherman Act. From ESPN:
But make no mistake: When Wade talks about sitting down with LeBron James and Joe Johnson (and perhaps Chris Bosh) to discuss free agency and where each of them will wind up playing, he is absolutely suggesting that a tiny handful of elite players could conspire — that’s the familiar use of the word, not the legal — to determine the future direction of the league.
Will Wade and LeBron engage in illegal price-fixing? If they end up in New York together, will I care? Let’s talk free agency and the law….
Continue reading “Clock Ticks Towards… NBA Collusion Period?”
It has been a sports heavy day here on ATL, and in its own way this story is much more interesting than a coincidental intersection of legal issues and sports themes. You see, it’s a sad day in your life when you realize that your parents misled you into pursuing higher education. Sure, education is the “silver bullet” for upward mobility in this society, unless you can hit a curveball or a jump shot. If you’ve got athletic talent, you can often go to school for free (instead of saddling yourself with undergraduate debt). If you have rare talent, you can make far more money than most doctors or lawyers you know.
And even if you never make it to the pros, you can earn a living for a time slumming around the minors or coaching sports. If that lifestyle doesn’t suit you, then you can go back to professional school. Hey, at least you took your shot. It’s not like first year torts is going anywhere.
One Kansas Law student appears to have learned that anti-intellectual lesson a little bit too late. Check out his hilarious letter to the editor posted in the Kansas Law Free Press…
Continue reading “2L at Kansas Law Thinks NBA Draft a Safer Bet than OCI”
We don’t do a lot of reporting on the Salmon P. Chase College of Law at Northern Kentucky University. But when an 1L community gets smacked down by one of their own deans for following the best NCAA opening weekend ever, one can’t help but take note.
The set up is simple, as this tipster explains:
This “professionalism” lecture, a mandatory event for 1L’s, consisted of a very conservative attorney/judge/sheriff from Cincinnati talking about the need to return prayer and spanking to schools, and a very liberal ACLU attorney stressing the importance of pro bono representation of child molesters. Event titled “Lawyers: Agents of change, or Preservers of the status quo?” And yes, the entire class of 1L’s were playing on their iPhones during the entire event, following March Madness.
A mandatory “professionalism” lecture during the first night of the NCAA tournament? Isn’t this precisely why God invented the iPhone?
Sadly, Associate Dean Lawrence Rosenthal didn’t seem to enjoy living in our modern age … Continue reading “1Ls at Northern Kentucky Law Are Not Very Professional”
We’ve seen judges grant continuances to lawyers who wanted to go to the BCS Championship game and the SuperBowl. So we know that the legal community takes notice of important sporting events.
One student at the University of Washington School of Law feels that exams shouldn’t get in the way of the NCAA College Basketball Tournament. UW is in the tourney this year — getting a bid out of the dreadful PAC-10. And the student just wanted to participate in the fun. One of his finals conflicted with the tournament, and he sent a very polite note to the registrar asking to reschedule. Deadspin reprints his email:
The first weekend of the NCAA Division 1 basketball tournament occurs on March 18-21 this year. This is, by far, my favorite weekend of the year, specifically Thursday and Friday, in which the first round takes place. I am not a member of any church and have no children, so I consider this my “holiday,” the most important day of the year. For the past several years, a couple of friends of mine, who are in similar position in life, and I have spent the weekend enjoying this “holiday” in Reno, NV. It is a central location for the gathering and meeting there for this weekend has become a tradition that has become very important and dear to me.
I understand that this is not a typical request, but I’d like to move my Compensation and Benefits final to the following Monday (3/22) or earlier in finals week. This is so important to me that I wouldn’t even mind it if it were rescheduled during a day that I already have a final.
Please give my request ample consideration. I appreciate your time.
Reschedule class: Fri. March 19 – 6:00 PM T521B Comp & Benefits (Thorson)
Requested date: Wednesday, March 17
Requested time: 1:00 PM
The humorless registrar was unmoved….
Continue reading “Does March Madness Justify Exam Rescheduling? UW Law Says No.”
We don’t know who Rick Pitino is — his Wikipedia entry suggests he’s a college basketball coach — or why he’s important. We don’t know anything about sports. Elie, come back from vacation; we need you!
What we do know, and what makes Rick Pitino relevant for these pages, is that he was supposed to speak at Cumberland School of Law at Samford University — until his appearance was canceled. The law school administration sent out this brief message:
Coach Pitino and Samford University have mutually agreed to cancel the luncheon scheduled for September 10, 2009 at the Harbert Center. If you have already made payment for this event, your check will be returned to you.
Many readers alerted us to this development (which is why we decided to write about it). One tipster told us:
Cumberland School of Law at Samford University was going to have Coach Pitino visit next month. Normally, this may not be a big deal, but Samford is a Baptist School. It could have been an interesting luncheon…
If you know (or care) more about Rick Pitino than we do, read more at Deadspin and NPR.
Rick Pitino Deemed Unworthy Of Samford Law School’s Leadership Luncheon [Deadspin]
Rick Pitino Embroiled In Extortion Case [NPR]
As you might have heard, New York Knicks atrocious waste of salary cap space star center Eddy Curry has been sued by a former employee. We all knew that Curry was a 6’11” behemoth of a man who is afraid of grabbing a rebound. But some of the allegations contained in the complaint against him are more shocking than his inability to play 20 minutes without needing an oxygen mask:
18. The plaintiff was further subjected to humiliation and intentional acts of sexual harassment discrimination by the Curry during the course of his employment.
19. On more than one occasion in the last year of plaintiff’s employment, Curry approached him, in the nude, and tried to solicit him to engage in homosexual acts with him by telling the plaintiff “look at me, Dave, look” and “come and touch it, Dave.”
And while we’re here:
20. Curry directed the plaintiff to perform humiliating tasks outside the scope of his employment, such as cleaning up and removing dirty towels that he “nutted all over” so that his wife would not see them.
We should say that Curry strenuously denies all of the allegations contained in the complaint. And teammates like Quentin Richardson and David Lee have come to Curry’s defense.
But wait ’till you get a look at the plaintiff’s lawyer, after the jump.
Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Hired Help v. Eddy Curry”
