Benchslaps
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Benchslaps, Depositions, Holidays and Seasons, Jews, Oy, Small Law Firms, State Judges
Benchslap of the Day: A Mensch with Some Chutzpah
We found it strange that one law firm in Florida was pretty much demanding that a deposition take place on Rosh Hashanah. This is one of the handful of holidays that most Jews celebrate, and here comes this law firm trying to ruin it like we're actually going observe one of the 500 other holidays we have. It's a good thing we have judges to tell these goyim to stick it in their shofar and blow it.... -
5th Circuit, Benchslaps, Edith Jones, Federal Judges, Judicial Divas, Reader Polls, Ridiculousness, Rudeness, Sam Sparks, Texas, Vicious Infighting
Judicial Diva Gone Wild? Chief Judge Jones Tells Judge Dennis to 'Shut Up'
Can you enforce civility by being... uncivil? That's the question being raised, over and over again, by federal judges from Texas these days. Check out the latest craziness -- an en banc hearing before the Fifth Circuit that generated judicial fireworks, culminating in a judge essentially telling a colleague to STFU or GTFO.... - Sponsored
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7th Circuit, Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Judicial Divas, Solo Practitioners
Benchslap of the Day: A Billy Madison Style Rambling, Incoherent Complaint
It's not every day that attorneys repeatedly file "unintelligible" complaints that are "riddled with errors." But it's really not every day that an attorney attempts to file the same complaint three times and appeals to the Seventh Circuit only to get smacked down. Let's see why a lawyer faced the wrath of the Seventh Circuit this week....
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Bankruptcy, Baseball, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Law Schools, Military / Military Law, Money, Morning Docket, Movies, SCOTUS, Texas
Morning Docket: 09.16.11
* SCOTUS halted Duane Buck’s execution in Texas last night. How did it take 16 years for this to happen? Slow and steady doesn’t win the race on death row. [CBS News] * Casey Anthony owes the state of Florida a pretty penny. At this rate, she may as well go to law school, because […]
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Benchslaps, Contests, Edith Jones, Federal Judges, Lawyer of the Day, Reader Polls, Sam Sparks, Texas
August Lawyer of the Month: Bow Down Before the King
While some of the candidates for August's Lawyer of the Month were bold in their displays of public idiocy, others were bold in their candid assessments of the legal profession. We thought that legal smarts were taking a substantial lead over legal stupidity. But as it turns out, the margin is much closer than we thought. In this polling cycle, just ten votes separated our Lawyer of the Month from our second-place finisher.... -
5th Circuit, Attorney Misconduct, Benchslaps, Edith Jones, Federal Judges, Judicial Divas, Rudeness, Sam Sparks, Texas, Vicious Infighting
Benchslap of the Day: Judge Sparks Gets a Taste of His Own Medicine
The benchslapper has become the benchslapped. Judge Sam Sparks, of the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Texas, just got smacked around by a higher authority: Chief Judge Edith Jones, of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit. What did she have to say to Sparks? -
9th Circuit, Alex Kozinski, Benchslaps, Diarmuid O'Scannlain, Federal Judges, Reader Polls
Grammer Pole of the Weak: 'I Respectfully Dissental'
Above the Law readers are traditionalists in matters of grammar, usage, and writing style. How do y'all feel about neologisms? Let's look at two new words, coined by none other than the newly svelte Alex Kozinski, Chief Judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit.... -
Benchslaps, Contests, Federal Judges, Law Professors, Lawyer of the Day, Partner Issues, Reader Polls, Sam Sparks
Lawyer of the Month: August Reader Poll
The month of August brought us a slew of disasters, both natural and otherwise. At the end of the month, we faced off against the Great D.C. Earthquake of 2011. Shortly thereafter, we got slammed by Hurricane Irene. But August wasn’t just about natural disasters — there were plenty of man-made disasters to deal with […] - Sponsored
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Admin, Announcements, Antitrust, Bankruptcy, Baseball, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Brobeck Phleger & Harrison, Department of Justice, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Federal Government, Heller Ehrman, Holidays and Seasons, Morning Docket, Sports, State Judges, Trials
Morning Docket: 09.05.11
Ed. note: Due to the Labor Day holiday, we’ll be on a reduced publication schedule today. We’ll be back to normal tomorrow. A restful and happy Labor Day to all! * More about the Delaware benchslap that we covered last week (including the news that Judge Peggy Ableman’s pajama party did not go forward as […]
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Attorney Misconduct, Benchslaps, Holidays and Seasons, Judicial Divas, Rudeness, Sam Sparks, State Judges, Trendspotting
Judge-Ordered Remedial Civility Classes = The New Killing It
Last week, we reported on the most recent benchslap from Judge Sam Sparks. In his order, Judge Sparks invited attorneys to a “kindergarten party." Other judges have apparently taken notice. Now comes Judge Peggy Ableman of Delaware. She has called for attorneys appearing before her to attend "a 'special' emergency refresher course in first year ethics and civility." What's really going to make the allegedly childlike attorneys squeal is that Judge Ableman scheduled her remedial class during the middle of Labor Day weekend.... -
Alston & Bird, Animal Law, Benchslaps, Biglaw, Cars, Deaths, Federal Judges, Law Schools, Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, Musical Chairs, Non-Sequiturs, Sam Sparks, Texas
Non-Sequiturs: 09.01.11
* Remember the “kindergarten party” that Judge Sam Sparks (W.D. Tex.) was planning to hold? His Honor has canceled the festivities. [WSJ Law Blog] * John Althouse Cohen — yes, son of La Althouse — discusses one way in which Texas might be emulating… Europe? [Jaltcoh] * Professor Paul Campos opens up a can of […] -
1st Circuit, Benchslaps, Cellphones, Free Speech, Nauseating Things, Police, Technology, Videos
First Circuit Has No Sympathy For Cops Who Say, 'Don't Tape Me, Bro!'
One of the most important -- and overlooked -- technological developments of the last five-odd years is the ease with which anyone can record police doing their jobs and throw the video on YouTube. The technology can be a great deterrent against police misconduct. So it's really, seriously disturbing when police try to intimidate witnesses into turning off their cellphone cameras. It's even more nauseating when someone gets arrested for simply filming police activity. Luckily, a recent decision from First Circuit unambiguously told police to cut it out.... -
American Bar Association / ABA, Benchslaps, Department of Justice, Free Speech, Movies, Non-Sequiturs, Pro Bono, Romance and Dating, Sam Sparks
Non-Sequiturs: 08.31.11
* Some thoughts from our colleague Matt Levine on the Justice Department’s opposition to the AT&T/T-Mobile merger. [Dealbreaker] * Judge Sam Sparks (W.D. Tex.), king of the benchslap — yes, we already covered his latest handiwork, so no need to email the “kindergarten party” order to us again — has blocked key parts of the […]
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Attorney Misconduct, Benchslaps, Depositions, Federal Judges, Rudeness, Sam Sparks, Texas, Vicious Infighting
Benchslap of the Day: Judge Sparks Burns More Attorneys
You do not want to mess with Judge Sam Sparks, of the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Texas. We recently wrote about Judge Sparks accusing a lawyer appearing before him of incompetence -- in a harshly worded order that pulled no punches. Judge Sparks has been doling out stinging benchslaps for years, and he's gotten pretty good at it. Last week, Judge Sparks lit more lawyers on fire.... -
Abortion, Benchslaps, Constitutional Law, Federal Judges, Sam Sparks, Texas
Benchslap of the Day: Sparks Fly When Judge Calls Lawyer 'Incompetent'
We briefly mentioned a lawsuit over the new ultrasound-before-abortion law in Texas back in June, and now it has turned into a full-blown media circus. The case is being presided over by Judge Sam Sparks of the United States District Court for the Western District of Texas. And thanks to Judge Sparks, sparks themselves are flying in his courtroom.... -
Antitrust, Benchslaps, Canada, Crime, Immigration, Technology
Sue a Giant Corporation, Get Rewarded with Audacious Criminal Charges
A few weeks ago, I wrote about an attorney who faced some humiliating — and completely false — allegations. Doesn’t get much worse, I thought. Wrong. This week we have another intersection of technology and false accusation. But this time, the attorneys appear to be the bad guys. A recent Canadian court ruling sheds a […] -
Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Politics, Quote of the Day, Rank Stupidity, Screw-Ups
Benchslap of the Day: Judge Rebukes Birther Queen for Abortive Attempt at Redaction
Lawyer and dentist Orly Taitz, popularly known as "Queen of the Birthers," needs to work on her redaction skills, according to a federal judge. -
5th Circuit, Benchslaps, Civil Rights, Ridiculousness, Texas
Benchslap of the Day: Shouldn't Cheerleaders Know How to Spell?
Judge Jerry Smith of the Fifth Circuit had some harsh words about a cheerleading-related litigation: "[T]his is nothing more than a dispute, fueled by a disgruntled cheerleader mom, over whether her daughter should have made the squad. It is a petty squabble, masquerading as a civil rights matter, that has no place in federal court or any other court." -
Benchslaps, Federal Judges, Jed Rakoff, Quote of the Day, S.D.N.Y.
Quote of the Day: I Award You No Points, And May God Have Mercy On Your Soul.
Not only am I dismissing your case — WITH PREJUDICE — but I am also referring you to the grievance committee, and will personally recommend that you are sanctioned. You lied to this Court, and that will not be countenanced. Now please leave my courtroom. — Judge Jed Rakoff, benchslapping (as reported by an ATL […] -
4th Circuit, Benchslaps, Screw-Ups, Technology
How to Lose a Case With Simple Computer Cluelessness
For attorneys, missing deadlines is a big no-no. BIG no-no. A Goodyear blimp-sized no-no. People have literally died because of blown deadlines. Cases worth millions of dollars get tossed out because of missed deadlines, even if someone has a decent excuse. That being so, I do not envy the lawyer who had to tell his […]