This may not happen to men, but many a woman has put on an outfit and discovered later that it is more sheer than she realized in the dim light of her home. In sunlight, or in an office's bright fluorescent glow, the underthings suddenly become visible -- if one is lucky enough to be wearing underthings. Usually, a good friend will point this out to the inadvertently scandalously-clad woman.

A reader sent us an excerpt from a recent deposition transcript, currently making the rounds by email, which apparently captures an occurrence of just this sort. It seems that the not-to-be-named lawyer, aka "Ms. B" (pictured), did not have a good friend to point out the sheerness of her attire.

Instead, an expert witness did so, at the end of a long deposition. Then "Ms. G," counsel to the witness, echoed her client's concerns.

The exchange got a little testy. Check out the depo transcript, after the jump.

The company that has a patent on trademarked "Very Sexy" has been hit with a lawsuit accusing it of stealing a bra design. A Long Island paralegal claims that she came up with the original design for the Very Sexy 100-Way Convertible Bra, and has a patent to prove it:

The bra is, according to the lawsuit, the intellectual creation of Katerina Plew, a Long Island paralegal, who registered it under United States Patent No. 6,733,362 in May 2004. Ms. Plew, who is 38, is now contending that Victoria’s Secret stole, then mass-produced, her specialized design.

“The first time I thought of it I was getting ready for a christening,” Ms. Plew said in a telephone interview from her home in Selden, N.Y. “It was an idea that just popped into my head in — don’t know — like March of ’99.”

The bra, with its various hooks and eyelets, is something like the Micronaut of the undergarment world. By a complicated series of maneuvers, it can be worn in as many as 100 different ways.

What kind of outfit was she wearing to that christening?

Plew claims she had a meeting scheduled with Victoria's Secret designers in 2006, but that the appointment was canceled at the last minute.

Victoria's Secret, have you fallen so low as to steal your designs? It's time to come up with some better stuff -- VS merchandise has been subpar in the last few years. But that's a topic for a different blog.

Is Victoria’s Secret a Stolen Bra Design? [City Room / New York Times]
Complaint: Plew v. Limited Brands, Inc. [PDF]

As the BLT reported earlier this month, McKee Nelson has hired beauty queen Chelsey Rodgers, a 3L at Howard University Law School, who will be D.C.'s representative in the Miss USA competition. Although the firm has been trying to thin its ranks, we're sure that they can find room for Ms. Rodgers (just as Thacher Proffitt, in its recent personnel reductions, kept its former Playboy pinup on the payroll).

In an interview in Washingtonian magazine, Chelsey Rodgers described this embarrassing moment:

"I lost a boob cup once. It's one of the tools of the trade, but I was uncomfortable with it. I told the girls before we went out: 'If you see something fall out of me, just act like nothing happened.' I could sense it shifting as we walked out and it came out on me. All you can do is act like nothing happened."

Quips our tipster, "Let's hope she doesn't lose any 'boob cups' whilst 'thumping the table in the courtroom.'" [FN1]

Here's a question (which you don't need to emerge from a soundproof booth to answer): What is up with beauty queens and the law? See, e.g., Erika Harold (Harvard), Victoria Kush (Florida International), and -- last, but definitely not least -- Kumari Fulbright (University of Arizona).

Why do these beauty pageant winners gravitate towards the legal world? Especially when, in a sad commentary on gender equality in the law, they could arguably earn more as escorts? As Stanford law professor and sociologist Michele Landis Dauber recently told us, for our column in this week's New York Observer:

“It is unfortunately true that plenty of women, Silda Spitzer included, probably have a better chance of making five diamonds at the Emperor’s Club than they do of becoming an equity partner at Dechert, Mayer Brown, Blank Rome, Kramer Levin, or Cravath.”

Professor Dauber is a director and officer of Building A Better Legal Profession, which works to increase diversity at large law firms. There's a nice shout-out to BBLP in today's Los Angeles Times.

[FN1] Don't feel bad if you weren't familiar with a boob cup; we weren't. But Kashmir Hill, ATL's breath of fresh estrogen, explained:

"A boob cup is one of those stick-on bra things. You get two cups that you essentially adhere to yourself. They don't tend to work that well for anyone larger than a B cup."

Next Stop Miss USA: DC’s Pageant Representative [Washingtonian]
Beauty and The Law [The BLT: The Blog of Legal Times]

We tend to focus more on domestic legal news, but every now and then, we'll make an exception. From the AFP:

A Japanese pin-up model says that her big breasts have not only boosted her career -- they also helped her overturn a court verdict.

The bikini model, who goes by her professional name Serena Kozakura, was cleared after a court decided she was too well-endowed to squeeze into a room through a hole, as she had been found guilty of earlier.... Kozakura, 38, was convicted last year of property destruction after a man said she kicked in the wooden door of his room and crawled inside, apparently because he was with another woman. Kozakura had said the man made the hole himself.

In her appeal, the defence counsel held up a plate showing the size of the hole and said that she could not squeeze through with her 110-centimetre (44-inch) bust....Tokyo High Court presiding judge Kunio Harada agreed and threw out the guilty verdict on Monday, saying there was reasonable doubt over the man's account.

In the words of one headline writer, "The Best Defense is a Breast Defense"

"The judges were very good-mannered as they showed no expressions on their faces. I guess they're well-trained," Kozakura said.

Or maybe they were just... distracted. Do appellate judges have a weakness for well-endowed women? See also the late Anna Nicole Smith, who prevailed before the U.S. Supreme Court in Marshall v. Marshall (unanimous decision).

You can access a video of Ms. Kozakura demonstrating her inability to fit through the hole via Weird Asia News. The video appears at the end of the post (but before the comments); scroll to around the 3:40 mark.

Big breasts win verdict for Japanese pin-up [AFP]
Court Finds Model Innocent Based on Breast Size [Weird Asia News]

Sometimes we wish we had the breastses. Then we could enjoy the luxurious lactation room at Davis Polk & Wardwell.

Back in this post, we wrote about the lactation room at Simpson Thacher & Bartlett. We're sure it's plenty nice. But we doubt it's as snazzy as what the competition on the other side of Lexington Avenue is offering.

Check out this Davis Polk email, which went out late last year (exclamation mark in the original):

From: **** On Behalf Of Associate Development
To: all.lawyers.ny
Subject: Nursing Room

We are pleased to announce that the firm now has a private nursing room!

Located on the 10th floor, this cozy room is equipped with brand-new furniture, including a comfortable chair and end table, refrigerator, and reading materials of interest to new mothers. Access to the secure room is available through the Security Desk. A small sign on the outside of the door indicates when the room is occupied.

We hope that this amenity will provide returning mothers who wish to continue nursing their babies additional support during this important transition. Your privacy and comfort are our priority.

Please do not hesitate to contact [xxxx] or any member of the Associate Development Department if you have any questions. Thank you and congratulations to all of our new DPW Parents.

We're curious about the "reading materials of interest to new mothers" at DPW. Draft asset purchase agreements? SEC proxy filings?

Meanwhile, in other happy news for parents, Arnold & Porter has jumped on the improved parental leave bandwagon. Following the recent trend, which we've been following in these pages, they've increased the paid leave they provide to women who give birth or primary caregivers of a newly adopted child. It used to be 12 weeks; now it's 18 weeks, which appears to be the "market" rate these days.

Transmittal email, plus A&P's full leave policy, after the jump.

Earlier: Biglaw Perk Watch: Lactation Rooms

As regular ATL readers will recall, Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Texas) is currently on leave from the bench (although still collecting his $165,200 salary). The Fifth Circuit suspended him after allegations of what it described as sexual harassment.

But Judge Kent's troubles may not be over yet. From the Galveston County Daily News (via How Appealing):

A woman who has accused U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent of unwanted sexual touching will have her case reheard by a disciplinary panel of the 5th Judicial Circuit, her attorney, Rusty Hardin, said late Monday.

Late that afternoon, Hardin gave the panel summaries of interviews his team did of 20 people who have had contact with Kent. Hardin claims those interviews show that Kent has misbehaved toward women since shortly after he was named to the federal bench in Galveston in the early 1990s.

Hardin said he and his client are asking that the panel refer the matter to the Judicial Council of the United States with a recommendation that Kent be impeached.

Additional discussion, plus a reader poll, after the jump.

Remember Kyla Ebbert, the comely young woman whose sexy outfit was deemed too revealing for flight by Southwest Airlines? We mentioned her story in passing back in this post (fourth link).

Well, it seems that Ms. Ebbert is back in the news -- er, nude. From the AP:

A 23-year-old college student who was told by a Southwest Airlines employee that her outfit was too revealing to fly is wearing even less on Playboy's Web site....

Kyla Ebbert appears in a series of pictures — some in lingerie, some nude — under the heading, "Legs in the Air."

"They're very tastefully done," Ebbert told The Associated Press on Thursday. "I don't see anything wrong with the female body."

Indeed. And we're big fans of Playboy, which we read strictly for the articles (and the ATL shout-outs).

So what does Kyla Ebbert want to do with her life?

Ebbert worked at a Hooters in San Diego but said she wants to become an attorney, and doesn't think posing nude should get in the way of her professional aspirations.

"This was beautiful and classy. I don't see why it would affect a professional position," she said. "I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

Ebbert is absolutely right -- there's a long and distinguished tradition of law students posing in various states of undress. See here.

So, when's the application deadline for Miami Law?

Flyer told to change outfit poses nude [AP via Yahoo! News]

Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Texas) joins Judge Elizabeth Halverson and Chief Judge Edward Nottingham in our Judge of the Day Hall of Fame. He will no longer be eligible for recognition as a Judge of the Day, having transcended this award.

Why is Judge Kent deserving of induction? In the Houston Chronicle, Lise Olsen offers a detailed report of the allegations against Judge Kent (which we previously discussed here and here). The money quote:

[Case manager Cathy] McBroom was summoned to the judge's chambers on Friday, March 23, at about 3 p.m.

Her hands were full of legal papers when the judge — a former high school athlete who is more than 6 inches taller and at least 100 pounds heavier — asked for a hug.

She told him she didn't think that was appropriate, but reluctantly approached.

The judge grabbed Mc-Broom, pulled up her blouse and her bra and put his mouth on her breast. Then, Kent forced her head down toward his crotch.

As McBroom struggled, Kent kept telling the married mother of three what he wanted to do to her in words too graphic to publish. The papers fell to the floor. The pet bulldog Kent kept in his chambers began to bark.

The incident was interrupted by the sound of footsteps from another staff member in the corridor, and the judge loosened his grip. As she left, the judge said McBroom was a good case manager and then made suggestions about engaging in a sexual act.

McBroom ran out crying.

Review additional allegations, including a claim by a different ex-employee that Judge Kent once told her he could "service me when my husband was being treated for prostate cancer," by clicking here.

How far did this federal judge go? [Houston Chronicle]

Federal judge Ursula Mancusi Ungaro was sighted at a recent "Constitution Day Party" down in Miami. She posed for photos with other guests -- including TV judge Alex E. Ferrer, better known to television audiences as Judge Alex.

This photo of Judge Ungaro and Judge Alex, by lawyer-blogger David Oscar Marcus, was our favorite. Behold how the taut white fabric stretches tantalizingly across Her Honor's ample bosom. Here are some suggested captions:

"They're real, they're spectacular -- and they have life tenure."

"Guess they have strong air conditioning down in Miami."

"Underneath her robes, indeed."

Wow. We fully expect to see Judge Ursula Ungaro as a nominee the next time we hold a judicial hotties contest.

Update: We have been offering irreverent commentary about the physical appearance of federal judges, male and female, for years now. If the Washington Post can parse the cleavage of Hillary Clinton, then surely a blog -- which is not bound by the standards of decency and respectability that apply to the MSM -- can parse the cleavage of a federal judge (who is also a public figure).

If you are so deeply offended by the playful, good-natured paying of compliments to a federal judge who also happens to be attractive, then don't read ATL. This isn't the first time that we've engaged in such commentary, and it won't be the last. Thank you.

For the record, our admiration for Judge Ungaro is not prurient in the least. Trust us.

Further Update: We are now authorized to share this information with you, which we've known for a while. It may change your view of things:

After her nasty divorce in 2003-2004, [Judge Ungaro] got a boob job. She bragged about it to her clerks and asked them how "they" looked.

If Judge Ungaro is proud of "them," who are you to tell her she shouldn't be?

P.S. Speaking of cosmetic surgery, if you're looking for a plastic surgeon in the New York / New Jersey area, check out our dad. He's a talented, board-certified plastic surgeon. Be sure to ask for the special discount for friends of ATL!

Pictures from Constitution Day Party [Southern District of Florida Blog (via Google Cache)]
District news (item #3) [Southern District of Florida Blog]
We the People [Miami Herald]
Judge Ursula Mancusi Ungaro [Federal Judicial Center]
Judge Alex [official website]

We continue our series profiling the perks or fringe benefits of life at a large law firm. This one may be the breast one yet. From a (male) tipster:

A friend of mine ran across this Simpson Thatcher perk: "The Firm maintains a lactation room for new mothers in each of its New York, Los Angeles and Palo Alto offices to facilitate their transition back to work."

I have a hard time seeing candidates asking about it during interviews, so I thought I'd pass it along. I'm not a chauvinist or anything! I just have a childish sense of humor...

You're not alone. We'd note that this perk may have broader appeal than our correspondent might think. See here.

Also, we'd suggest to STB that they regularly sweep their lactation rooms for spycams. Remember this guy?

Update: Jeez, some of you are oversensitive. With respect to the photo, here's what happened. To avoid copyright issues -- hello, Nixon Peabody! -- we use pictures primarily from royalty-free, stock photography sites. People upload pics to these sites that they allow others to use for free.

Our favorite such website, to which we have contributed many photos of our own, is stock.xchng. For this post, we went to stock.xchng and ran a search for "breastfeed." The pic we used was one of three images that came up. That's all.

Flexible Working Arrangements [Simpson Thacher & Bartlett]
Male lactation [Wikipedia]

* Scott Moss wants to know: What's the weakest legal argument you've ever heard? [PrawfsBlawg]

* William Birdthistle wants to know: What financial and legal regimes are most conducive to the development of French-fry-selling Thai restaurants? [Conglomerate]

* NBS wants to know: Is Hillary Clinton channeling Eva Peron? Bonus observation: "Dolly Madison had a decent rack, and now there's a whole line of cookies names after her." [Nasty, Brutish & Short]

* The WSJ Law Blog wants to know: Why are there so many darn lawyers in Roseland, New Jersey? [WSJ Law Blog]

We desperately wanted to write about Alex Kuczynski's New York Times article on gynecomastia (or, to use a term of art, manboobs).

So we were delighted to find a legal angle to the story:

The price range [for gynecomastia surgery] is $4,000 to $10,000, depending on the complexity of the procedure. The issue of expense, as well as the acceptability of gynecomastia as a medical disorder, was recently addressed in New York when a Long Island man fought Group Health Inc., seeking coverage for his son’s breast reduction surgery.

In April, the appellate division of the State Supreme Court ruled that the insurance company must pay the family $5,000 toward the $7,500 surgery.

Now we just need to get courts to hold that insurance companies must cover breast implants. Then we can officially declare the United States the greatest country on earth.

(More from Gawker over here.)

Update: In response to complaints from commenters, we have made some redactions to the photograph.

A Sense of Anxiety a Shirt Won’t Cover [New York Times]
At Least One Hollywood Agent Had Man Boobs [Gawker]
Gynecomastia [Wikipedia]

This news is a bit mystifying to us. From the Associated Press:

Jessica Cutler, the former Senate aide whose online sex diary landed her a book deal and a Playboy photo spread but got her kicked off Capitol Hill, has filed for bankruptcy....

Cutler has spent much of her time [recently] fending off a lawsuit by ex-boyfriend and fellow DeWine staffer Robert Steinbuch, who claims Cutler's blog publicly humiliated him. He is seeking more than $20 million in damages.

In court documents filed in the case Thursday, however, Cutler says she can't even pay her American Express bill, legal fees and student loans. She submitted to the judge a copy of a Chapter 7 bankruptcy petition filed in New York dated Wednesday.

The lawsuit is being closely watched by online privacy groups and bloggers because the case could help establish whether people who keep online diaries are obligated to protect the privacy of the people they interact with offline.

Our advice to Jessica: retain William P. Smith to represent you in bankruptcy court. You can pay his fees in "Happy Meals."

On a more serious note: How did the Washingtonienne wind up in this financial predicament?

We're not so good with math, so please help us out. We run some numbers, after the jump.

Even those of you who are sick and tired of our Monica Goodling coverage will enjoy this little tidbit. It has been mentioned by a few commenters, and we've also received a bunch of emails about it.

From the National Journal (via TPMmuckraker):

Psst! Sources tell us that none other than Monica Goodling, former aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, was responsible for draping over the ample bosoms of the Art Deco statues in the Justice Department's Great Hall during the reign of the prim John Ashcroft.

The coverings were removed, accompanied by a sigh from an appreciative public, in 2005...

Goodling and Lady Justice: The Original Cover-Up [TPMmuckraker]

Here's a bizarre fact pattern to get your day started right. From the Massachusetts Lawyer Weekly:

A criminal assault-and-battery complaint has been issued against attorney Stephen T. Kunian, a partner at the Boston law firm of Eckert, Seamans, Cherin, Mellott, for an incident in which he allegedly forced open the jacket of a woman during the Dec. 2, 2006, opening of the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston.

But Kunian's attorney said the allegations are "an attempt at character assassination" by a victim who has demanded $500,000 in damages.

The alleged victim in the case, independent museum curator Gloretta Baynes, filed a police report claiming that Kunian approached her on the night in question and opened up her jacket, exposing her bra. Baynes' attorney, James S. Dilday of Boston, said she had the jacket zipped up to neck level but was not wearing a shirt underneath at the time.

Baynes is also claiming that Kunian's hands touched her breasts at the time. Kunian allegedly said after the incident: "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you had a shirt on."

Bill Maher had some harsh words for graduates of Regent Law School. But Harvard Law School grads get in trouble too.

Complaint Launched Against Law-Firm Partner [Massachusetts Lawyer Weekly]
Stephen T. Kunian bio [Eckert Seamans]

* This is what will happen if we don't reform the Social Security system. [Decatur Daily News]

* There's a reason this, like the mainstream dairy industry, is regulated. Plus, it's not exactly suitable for dunking oreos. [Inside Bay Area]

* If you need a break from US politics, then check out the other presidential free-for-all, going down in France. [RTE News]

* Fleshbot is not just a website. [Pink Tentacle via The Trademark Blog]

* Is internet radio on its way out? I don't much care about Sirius, but what about Pandora, or the other stations you stream at work? [Tech News World]

As we mentioned yesterday, Judge Jennifer W. Elrod, a state trial court judge in Texas, has been nominated to the Fifth Circuit. The Texas Lawyer has an interesting article about Judge Elrod:

Houston lawyers who have tried cases before [Judge Elrod] say she has earned a reputation as a fair and smart state district judge.

"I think the most disappointing factor about her getting nominated is losing her off the bench in Harris County," says Stephen Boutros, a Houston plaintiffs attorney.

"She often won't rule in my favor, but it doesn't matter," says Boutros of Stephen Boutros LTD. "I would rate her the top judge I've ever been in front of. She understands the law. She can get a grasp of the issues in a matter of moments as if it were her own case."

Boutros believes Elrod has the potential to follow in the footsteps of [Judge Patrick] Higgonbotham — a seasoned and respected judge who was a moderating force on the 5th Circuit — a court known as one of the most conservative federal appellate courts in the nation.

"She's going to be an absolute centrist," Boutros says. "She is intellectually honest and she's not an ideologue."

Judge Elrod sounds like a great pick. Our only disappointment: that President Bush didn't nominate this Jennifer Elrod instead.

(But then again, in terms of qualifications for the Fifth Circuit, a JD from Harvard Law is probably more relevant than a 36D from Boobs 'R Us.)

P.S. To those of you who think that we overuse the term "diva," please note that we have NOT applied the term to Jennifer Elrod. Based on what we've heard, she's extremely nice and down-to-earth, with a great sense of humor.

190th District Judge Jennifer Walker Elrod Nominated to 5th Circuit [Texas Lawyer]

Earlier: Some Judicial Nomination News

More legal troubles for controversial celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton, aka Mario Lavandeira. The latest lawsuit against him, filed by Universal City Studios, asserts copyright infringement, arising out of Lavandeira's publication of a topless photograph of Jennifer Aniston (taken from allegedly stolen footage from "The Break-Up").

The complaint is fairly straightforward. The most amusing part of the filing is an exhibit to the complaint: the topless Jennifer Aniston pic, with a strategically situated "Redacted" stamp:

During our time in commercial litigation, we got to know the "Redacted" stamp very well -- perhaps too well. But we never saw the "Redacted" stamp used in quite such an interesting way.

We suspect that the Court will order an in camera examination of the unredacted photograph. Especially if the case winds up before Judge Manuel Real.

Lawsuit Over Topless Aniston Photo [The Smoking Gun via Drudge Report]

* Fear not, you can continue the inexplicable and somewhat cheap practice of wearing buttons of your slain loved one when attending the trial of the accused perpetrator. [The Buck Stops Here]

* Think of the occasional theft as a write-off, which of course is moot since you’re not paying taxes anyway. And then rent Traffic, you clueless surburban kid. Disclaimer: I attended a suburban high school (but I never inhaled). [Sui Generis]

* Illinois wants to make it even easier for you to get out of jury duty. [Concurring Opinions]

* The choice of law school over medical school has its roots in our rather iffy math skills; but this is Yale Law, where the career center’s number-heavy cheat-sheet on the whole billable hours thing assumes (correctly) YLS students are the s**t all-around. [Precedent: The New Rules of Law and Style]

* We think that this four-year-old’s parents may have tried explaining the birds and the bees using such technical terms as “special hug.” We’re hoping that he did not use sound effects during the alleged, er, breast nuzzling. [Waco Tribune]

* An additional bullet-point to add to my disturbingly endless “Why Video Games Creep the Hell Out of Me” list. [San Francisco Chronicle]

* I think I may be the only New Yorker who regularly watches local channel NY1 -- I just can’t get enough of Pat Kiernan’s deadpan delivery, especially of the more frivolous items. What would he say (and too bad he can’t) about this doctored photo of his colleague “BBB”? [New York Post via Gothamist]

* Because monkeys are people too. [AP via Yahoo! News]

* The lesson learned is to move if you live near a dam. (I am amazed at my restraint in the face of such a punnable word, but hey, this is pretty serious.) [New Orleans City Business via Ernie the Attorney]

* Anyone who hasn’t been ripped on in cyberspace is either in a coma or hasn’t come out of his Y2K bomb shelter. I bet these guys would love to be able to claim a cause of action. [Findlaw]