Being Yourself In Your Role As A Lawyer

I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life.

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I’ve had a lot of jobs in my life.  I’ve waited tables at more restaurants than I can count.  Before I finished law school, I worked in two different law firms, including in Allen & Overy’s New York and London offices.  Post-graduation, I was an associate at two more law firms–first Cleary Gottlieb and then Davies Ward.  I now work for Thomson Reuters as a legal editor/author, and I work for myself as a health coach, a wellness educator, and a yoga teacher.

Through all of these jobs, I chose to surround myself with people who had shared interests, similar priorities, and, most importantly, a sense of humor about life. The reason?  I wanted to find somewhere that I could relax and just be “me,” whatever that meant at the time.  When I started as a first-year at Cleary, I was so excited by the fact that it was known for being “quirky.” Somewhere I can wear bright colors and be a little weird?  Awesome!  Then Davies came along and wooed me with colleagues who loved to travel, who made exercise a priority, and who seemed to be ok with the fact that I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a tax lawyer forever.  Finally, somewhere I could be myself!  When I first met my now-boss at Thomson, I confessed that I wasn’t interested in long hours anymore and that I wanted to pursue my passion for yoga and wellness on the side. When she offered me the job anyway, I knew was a great fit for me.

Something I’ve realized throughout the course of having many jobs, my own business, and a lot of relationships (both professional and personal) is that while you can seek permission to be yourself from the other people in your life, the permission ultimately comes from you.  But what does that mean, exactly? The more I practice and teach yoga, the less I seem to sound like a lawyer or even just a rational person, so let me break it down:

  1. You’re in charge of your thoughts.  If you pay attention to your thoughts (and not just the ones that make you the erudite lawyer that you are), you might notice that you can steer where they head (like when you drift off to your last vacation mid-meeting and have to call yourself back to real world).  So when you hear the “I have to be like them” voice, try taking another route and tell yourself that “it’s ok to be me” today.
  2. You’re in charge of your words.  We’re all guilty of saying things just to fit in or to receive praise or approval. The next time you find yourself agreeing with (sucking up) to someone in your life, take a step back and ask: is this how I really feel?  Or am I doing it to earn a gold star?
  3. You’re in charge of your actions.  See above re: gold stars.  I can’t tell you how many nights I wasted at the office in my first year as an attorney because I was afraid that I would miss a phone call or an email about a non-urgent assignment.  Ask yourself: am I doing this because it really needs to be done, or am I doing it to win approval?
  4. You’re in charge of you.  Your thoughts, your words, and your actions add up to you, dear reader, as a person.  Does the sum of those three add up to who you really feel like you are, on the inside?

It would certainly be poor career advice to say, “just show up at the office tomorrow and do absolutely nothing other than what you feel like doing!” (You might not even show up to the office if that were the case.)  But it would also be poor career advice to tell you to mold yourself into the perfect law firm associate or perfect partner or perfect in-house counsel because striving for perfectionism will only make you miserable–under a standard of perfectionism, you will never measure up.

Instead, strive to be a little bit more like you tomorrow, within the bounds of what’s “acceptable” at your office.  And if you realize that there’s no room for change or personal growth in your current job, ask yourself: is it time to find a new job or a new role where you might feel more comfortable?

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Give yourself the permission and the space to be yourself.

Megan Grandinetti is an attorney, health coach, and yoga teacher.  Megan’s work as a health coach focuses on improving the health and wellness of lawyers and other busy professionals. Find out more about Megan by visiting www.thelawyershealthcoach.com or her Facebook page athttps://www.facebook.com/healthcoachmegnyc.

 

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