Building Your House On The Rock: The Secrets To Great Networking

If you enjoy networking, you may already have a strategy that works for you. But some people avoid it at all costs.

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The most effective leaders say they surround themselves with people who are smarter than they are. Your network is your personal board of directors, a hive mind of expertise you can turn to and learn from.

If you enjoy networking, you may already have a strategy that works for you. But some people avoid it at all costs. Maybe they’re introverted and find the experience exhausting or nerve wracking, or they think it feels too fake or forced.

If you skip networking, you ignore one of the most powerful ways to shape your career—if not your life. Think of your career as a house: You’ve invested time, energy, and more than enough money to build what you want. Your network is the foundation. Build it with care and attention, and it won’t just support you, it will help you weather the worst storms.

1.  TAKE A LONG-TERM VIEW

For most people, networking only grabs a front seat when they suddenly realize they need help: A new graduate looking for a job, an entrepreneur trying to build word-of-mouth, a move to a new city where you don’t know anybody.

Great networkers, however, continuously focus on creating genuine relationships with people they like. I see it as a three-step process: Connect, cultivate, and collaborate.

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Connect

Your objective should not be to hand out or receive as many cards as possible in a room full of strangers at mix-and mingle events, or to connect with as many people as possible on LinkedIn or other social media platforms.

Great networkers focus on the quality of their connections rather than the quantity. They also do not limit themselves to networking events and instead meet people in ways they’re most comfortable with. Find a hobby, join a sports team or wine club, ask someone to have coffee or breakfast, or serve on boards and committees of organizations you care about.

Cultivate

It takes consistent effort to create a lasting relationship. Look for ways you can stay in touch with individuals in your network:

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  • Schedule a regular lunch or coffee meeting, or other time to hang out
  • Connect through social media and interact with them regularly
  • Go to events together
  • Send them an email when you see an article or news piece, or hear of an opportunity, that may be of interest to them

Collaborate

Opportunities may come up for you to produce or create with someone—maybe an introduction to a colleague, an article you can write together, or a speaking opportunity. There’s no doubt this is a benefit of good networking. But if you make calling in favors your end goal, you’re bound to fall short.

2.  KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE

Consider how you’d care for a cactus and an orchid. Cacti thrive with bright light, good drainage, and dry soil with the occasional generous watering. Those same conditions would have an orchid struggling in no time.

Cultivating a relationship means taking the time to learn about the motivations, interests, and personality of the person you’re talking to. Make an effort to get to know the individuals in your network. Read their bios beforehand, if possible, and actively listen when you’re talking to them. Ask questions to learn more about them professionally or personally. Finally, think of ways you can add value to the relationship and ask what you can do to support them in their endeavors.

You might even find it helpful to keep notes. For the super organized, a customer relationship management (CRM) program might be helpful. For a more informal approach, add private notes to profiles in LinkedIn or keep notes in your address book.

3.  DON’T TAKE NO PERSONALLY

It is natural to wish that everyone responded to our emails, took the time to mentor us, or offered us a job. But things don’t always work out that way.

As with all dealings with people, you will no doubt encounter rejection: From the email or social media request that went unanswered, to the lunch or coffee that got canceled last minute, to getting turned down by a potential employer or client.

Learn not to take rejection personally. Live above the bad (or no) news by focusing on the good. Remember, it’s about quality, not quantity. Focus on the individuals and professional relationships that are going well. We are sometimes infatuated with the new, but the best opportunities may come from our existing relationships.

You should also remember that there is immense opportunity in adversity. People’s character truly shines when they don’t get what they want. Rather than feeling dejected, try to understand why you were turned down and be open to any feedback you might receive. Depending on the situation, it may be OK to simply ask; maybe there’s something you can improve, or perhaps you can try again later. Many no’s are eventually turned into a yes simply because of the way you handle the initial rejection.

4.  GIVE

Good networking isn’t utilitarian. Your mindset should not be “What can I get?” but “How can I contribute?” If you are genuinely interested in staying connected with the individuals in your network, you will naturally want to reach out when you encounter useful information and opportunities that may be of interest to them.

Contribute your knowledge, connections, time, understanding, and friendship to the individuals in your network. Slowly plant seeds of true collaboration and friendship, and great opportunities may start coming your way without even having to ask.

As you progress through your career, you will inevitably have new professional needs and should make new connections. But don’t forget to keep in touch with those who have helped you along the way. In other words, as you move up the steps of the ladder, don’t break the rungs you’ve already climbed.

The secret to building a powerful network is to find people you like, by doing something you enjoy, and investing the effort to stay connected to them consistently as you move through life. The actual formula is pretty simple; it’s your commitment that holds it all together.

Niki Moore is a San Francisco entrepreneur and attorney. She is the founder and CEO of PracticePro, a San Francisco-based education technology startup that provides skills training and career coaching to attorneys and law students, and has a popular Diversity Program for 1Ls. She is also a lecturer at the University of California, Berkeley, School of Law. Prior to starting her entrepreneurial journey, she was a litigator for several years at two international law firms, and was selected as one of the Top 40 Under 40 professionals by the Silicon Valley Business Journal. You can connect with her on LinkedIn or Twitter, or email her at mailto:niki@practicepro.cc.