Career Center, Career Files, Lawyers

Is Your Relationship With Money Strangling Your Dreams?

Money stops you from doing the thing that you want to do, or so you tell yourself.

By  
on

 

sad lawyer at deskFill in the remainder of this sentence: “If I had more money, I would …”

You want to change careers. You’ve wanted to for some time, but…MONEY.  Money stops you from doing the thing that you want to do, or so you tell yourself.

I read an article not that long ago about a number of professional-type folks (lawyers, bankers, etc.) who changed their focus and went on to do other, more fulfilling things, like start their own businesses, travel, or other inspiring things that 9-5ers (or 9-1am-ers) often dream about. It was an inspiring little piece, but what I found most interesting about the article was the comments section.

It was full of comments like: “Of course she was able to leave her career and travel. She had tons of money from her ridiculous job.”  Or: “Yeah, must be nice to just pick up and do something else when you’re a trust fund baby.”  And so forth. Maybe there was some truth to what these resentful, bitter commenters had to say at the end of an inspiring, quit-your-job-and-follow-your-dreams piece. Maybe she did have tons of money saved; maybe he did have a trust fund.

But the point isn’t how other people are able to afford to follow their dreams; the relevant question is: how can YOU afford to follow your dreams?

When I was thinking of leaving my law career, I spent every day staring at my budgeting spreadsheet, counting the days until I reached $x amount of dollars in my savings account. “If I save this much, I will be ok for a year.” The one-year plan is a smart tactic, and one that’s served me well as I continue to make changes to the ways that I earn income (I now teach yoga and cook meals for people on farm retreats of all things…). But what I’ve learned since those days that seem like a lifetime ago is that it wasn’t HOW MUCH money I had saved; it was really about feeling comfortable with having less financial security, and no amount of dollars in your bank account can really give you that.

Sponsored

So how do you get comfortable with the idea of making less money, having less money, or both?

  • Examine your spending for a full month. Put all of your expenses for you (and your dependents, if you have any) into two categories: “Necessary to Stay Alive” or “Surplus.” In case you need some guidelines around this, “Necessary to Stay Alive” means basic food (groceries, not restaurant meals), shelter, basic clothing, water, medical expenses, and repayment of debts (g., the dreaded student loans). Notice that booze, designer clothing, and meals at fancy restaurants count as “Surplus.”
  • When you look at the “Surplus” items, ask yourself: what do these items really mean to me in my life? For example, when I was practicing law, fancy dinners and booze were a nice escape for me where I could both socialize with friends and numb my feelings of hating my job. My spending on designer clothes, jewelry, handbags, etc. helped me to feel better about staying in my unfulfilling job because I could have nice things that I couldn’t otherwise afford. My membership at a yoga studio, however, meant a sacred space where I could connect with myself and others, take care of myself physically and mentally, and also hide from emails.
  • When you think about your new job, new career, or new way to spend your life, will you still want or need those Surplus items? In the case of some Surplus items (like my yoga studio membership), the answer will be yes. Put those things into a new category called “Life’s Desires.”  If the answer is no, leave those items in “Surplus.”
  • Examine your spending again, leaving out the Surplus items. How much money do you need to Stay Alive and to pursue your Life’s Desires for a month? A year? You will likely find that it is much less money than you are making right now.

Sponsored

  • Finally, ask yourself: if I make less money, but I can still afford to Stay Alive, and I’m spending my time doing things that make me feel vibrant and alive…does it really matter? In other words, ask: who am I if I am not financially successful? This last question is powerful, and it’s the most important one you can examine around your finances to try to understand what it is that you’re really looking for when it comes to money. Money can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. It can mean status. It can mean security. It can mean respect and admiration in the eyes of others. It can be a yardstick by which we measure self-worth. But money’s basic and most real function in our daily lives is to keep us alive for another day, another week, another month, or another year (or so we hope).

If you have enough money to survive, and you have the opportunity to pursue another path in which you can thrive as a human being, then maybe it’s time to make a change. There is always a way to follow your dreams, even if it’s not the way we envision forward, and even if the dollar signs seem to lead in the opposite direction.

Don’t let your relationship with money strangle your dreams. Because the point of life isn’t to make money or acquire hoards of it; the point of life is to LIVE, to really live, in each day and each moment and each breath.

Megan Grandinetti is a wellness & life coach, yoga teacher, and recovering attorney. Learn more about Megan, and receive a free 10-minute guided meditation, by visiting www.megangrandinettiyoga.com and signing up for her email list.

 

Topics

, , , , , , ,