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Trying on Jobs, Trying on Shoes

“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” -Lao Tzu

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“If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” -Lao Tzu

I sat in a panic in my therapist’s office a lot of years ago, having realized earlier that week that I didn’t want to practice law anymore.  After spending gobs of money on my education, after working my a** off in law school to graduate at the top of my class, after dedicating myself to building a solid early career as an international tax attorney, I realized (oh crap) that I didn’t actually enjoy any of it.

A few nights before ending up on her couch, I’d spent hours taking a Myers Briggs test, paying for the results to tell me what jobs/careers I might like, evaluating other legal jobs that could potentially pay my bills and keep me sane.  I agonized in my journal about being lost and unhappy and scared.  I felt like I had nowhere to turn, no clear direction, no sense of anything other than panic.

So, there I was, hat in hand, a complete failure in my therapist’s office, admitting that the thing that was making me the most unhappy/unfulfilled in my life was the career that I’d spent 7 years of my life building.

“I feel so lost,” I told her.  “What if I go on to do something else, and I hate that, too?”

And my therapist (God bless her) said something that has stuck with me since: “The thing about jobs is that you don’t know whether they fit you until you try them on. It’s like trying on shoes.  They might fit perfectly, or they might pinch your feet. Or maybe you take the shoes home and you wear them for a while, but then they start to give you blisters.  It’s ok to try on a bunch of shoes until you find the right ones.”

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With that little pep talk, something in me felt lighter, freer, happier.  Did I immediately take to heart every word she said?  No, I had to convince myself that it was ok to try on practicing law and then take it off, like an ill-fitting pair of shoes or a dress that’s too tight.  (And, for the record, it probably took at least a year after that conversation to set the wheels in motion to leave my law career.)

But eventually I left, filling the space of the law career with shoes that fit a lot better: teaching yoga, wellness coaching, and working in a legal writing job that pays my bills but doesn’t stress me out.

It may not always be this way.  I may find other jobs, other shoes, other relationships, other places to live.  And I’m ok with that.

Big changes and big upheavals can be scary (admittedly, a whole lot scarier than sitting in a DSW and trying on a bunch of boots). But you know what else is terrifying? Living a life of fear and regret, one where you’re boxed in and you can’t move or breathe or do anything because you’re so afraid of what the changes you desire the most will bring you.

A lot of people think they’re stuck in the jobs they have or the careers they have made for themselves, but an easy way to get un-stuck is to try on another pair of shoes.  Talk to people with jobs that interest you.  Interview for a new role.  Try out another job, and see how it fits you (for now).

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Life is always moving, always changing.  If we remain stagnant, if we try to control it, if we do anything other than surrender to what we know (deep down) will bring us joy, we will drown in a life of complacency and restrictiveness.  But if we adapt and we change with it, we’ll be just fine.

Megan Grandinetti is an attorney, health coach, and yoga teacher.  Megan’s work as a health coach focuses on improving the health and wellness of lawyers and other busy professionals. Find out more about Megan by visiting www.thelawyershealthcoach.com or her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/healthcoachmegnyc.

 

 

 

 

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