Labor Day is behind us. You know what that means: no wearing white, no gin and tonics, and no qualms about sending summer associate stories to ATL. If you have an SA story to share that we haven't previously covered, please email us.

This latest tale, posted below, puts the "MoFo" in Morrison & Foerster. These kiddies are badass. As always, please don't name or provide additional identifying information about them. Thanks.

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This summer MoFo hosted a firm-wide retreat in Napa, first-class all the way -- every attendee stayed in a private one-bedroom condo at the host resort, people got spa treatments, went on wine tastings, open bar every night, etc. Once the bar closed, the real troopers would head over to someone's condo for an after party. The firm covered minibar tabs, so people would stop by their own places and stock up on drinks to bring along. Nothing out of the ordinary, as far as big firm summer blow-outs go.

The only problem with the trip was the tremendous size of the resort. The condos were scattered all across a large compound. Some rooms were miles away from others. The resort provided shuttle service, but often (especially late at night) the shuttles were slow in coming. Very slow. It was definitely a nuisance.

A couple of days into the retreat, two or three summers apparently got sick of waiting for a shuttle to take them to their far off condos at the end of the evening's after party festivities. One of them was sick and vomiting or something, so they had a sense of urgency. In a haze of drunken entitlement (or perhaps a twisted sense of altruism: their friend was sick!), these summers decided to "borrow" a car from the resort's valet to drive home.

They busted into the valet key box and swiped the keys to an Audi A6 -- first-class all the way! -- got into the car, and started it up. Luckily for them, before they could get it into gear and get moving, a recruiter got wind of the operation and came RUNNING AND SCREAMING out of the after party. She got them out of the car; the keys were returned to their rightful place.

But the plans of drunken MoFos are not so easily foiled. Undeterred, they RETURNED to the valet box once the recruiter was out of their way, stole the keys AGAIN, and started up the car once more. This time a MoFo PARTNER saw the situation, ran over to the car, and put a stop to the ill-fated scheme.

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What happened to the summers in question? We don't know for certain, but we're guessing they got no-offered. While creative problem-solving and taking the initiative are usually desirable qualities for lawyers to possess, stealing cars and driving drunk raise character and fitness issues.

What a colossal d-bag. From the New York Daily News:

A Coney Island businessman is suing the city for damaging the Bentley he was driving when he killed a Brooklyn dad in a hit-and-run accident.

Harry Shasho, who pleaded guilty to leaving the scene of an accident, says the NYPD failed to safeguard the battered black 2005 Bentley GT luxury sedan that was impounded as evidence of the fatal crash. He's asking for at least $190,000.

It sounds like Shasho needs a bit of a reality check:

Shasho says the Bentley was in "excellent condition ... with no noticeable defects or damage" when he turned himself in, according to the suit filed in Brooklyn Federal Court.

The police report tells a different story. It describes the car as crumpled and the windshield "depressed and fractured" by the violent impact with [victim Louis] Couch that left his body parts strewn across the street.

The suit seeks damages from the city, the NYPD and the Brooklyn district attorney's office.

Not the kind of case you'd like to take to a jury.

Hit-and-run driver claims city didn't take care of his Bentley after crash [New York Daily News]

Here's the second half of the "head-to-head" round of ATL Idol. If you're not up to speed on what's going on, background information is available in this prior post (or just scroll down the front page to the post immediately below this one).

You can check out the second half of the head-to-head round, featuring the blogging of SOPHIST and FROLIC AND DETOUR, after the jump.

The global megafirm that is Skadden is known for its "work hard, play hard" culture. We were hoping to get the chance to observe it firsthand, after one of the Skadden Insider bloggers toyed with the idea of inviting us to the firm's 60th anniversary celebration on Ellis Island last month. Alas, it didn't happen.

Skadden's "macho" firm culture has been raised in a lawsuit that was covered in the press last week. From an article by Anthony Lin in the New York Law Journal:

Rita W. Gordon, a former counsel in the firm's litigation department, was fired in 2005 for allegedly inappropriately charging clients for personal car service use. The firm reported her to the Departmental Disciplinary Committee and reimbursed several clients.

But Gordon claims her car service use was no different from that of other lawyers at the firm and that Skadden's real aim "was to find a non-discriminatory excuse for terminating a 60-year-old woman and replace her with a younger man whose demeanor and conduct was more consistent with the 'macho' image of Skadden's Litigation Department."

Gordon filed suit against the firm and senior litigation partner Samuel Kadet in August 2006.

One former Skaddenite is surprised about Kadet being named as a defendant:

[O]f all the partners in the Skadden Litigation department, Sam Kadet is widely recognized as being one of the most polite and genuinely caring individuals there. While it's not shocking that any Big Law firm might be on the receiving end of these allegations, it struck me as bizarre that Sam Kadet was personally named, given his exceedingly positive reputation.

Here's another aspect of Rita Gordon's case that some might find a little odd. From the NYLJ article:

According to her suit, Gordon was summoned to Kadet's office in May 2005 and summarily fired for unauthorized car service charges totalling $50,000. Gordon claims the figure was reduced to $23,000 over a five-year period when the firm reported her to disciplinary authorities two weeks later.

Fifty grand in car service charges? Talk about a carbon footprint. Translated into Unlimited Ride MetroCards, that would have purchased Gordon about fifty years' worth of subway usage.

But, global warming be damned, Gordon wasn't a much of a straphanger:

Skadden lawyers are permitted to take cars home when they work past a certain hour at night, as well as at other times when client service demands. But Gordon is arguing she was justified in taking cars to and from her apartment at times other than late at night because she worked on client matters at home. She claims a 1994 back injury made it painful for her to sit at her desk for long hours or to work on papers back and forth on the subway.

Sitting at a desk for long hours? Isn't that the definition of being an attorney?

(In all seriousness, if Gordon did have the need for some sort of accommodation, she probably should have cleared it with firm management in advance, with appropriate documentation placed in her personnel file. Just our two cents.)

Car Service at Issue in Age, Sex Discrimination Claim Against Skadden [New York Law Journal]
Lawyer v. Law Firm: A Law Blog Roundup [WSJ Law Blog]
Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses [Skadden Insider]

The Florida Senate has its eyes on the road this month. A few weeks back, they passed legislation imposing a $60 fine on truck nutz. Now, they're denying Christians the right to their own vanity license plates. No nutz, no crosses... what fun is left for Florida drivers?

The vanity plates are being nixed because of that whole pesky separation of church and state thing. From CNN:

A license plate that would have become the first in the nation to prominently feature a religious symbol is unlikely to be on the road any time soon after state lawmakers did not include it in a bill Tuesday.

The plate, which included an image of a Christian cross, stained-glass window and the words "I Believe," is not in legislation passed late Tuesday that's now headed to the governor.

Opponents of the plate said approving it would result in a court challenge because it violated the separation of church and state and gave the appearance the state was endorsing a particular religious preference.

Supporters of the religious license plate say that not allowing it is restricting free speech. We say, just get a decal!

In other license plate news, Missouri's planning to roll out license plates with a grammatical error, because "the people want it that way," according to the Missouri Department of Revenue. Instead of the "Show-Me State," the state's nickname reads "Show Me State." Maybe they should change the state's nickname to "Show Me How To Use a Compound Modifier."

Florida's 'I Believe' plates hit roadblock [CNN]
I BELIEVE tag hits speed bump (rejoice) [Legal Satyricon]
New plates lack hyphen in Show-Me [News-Leader]

Some lawyers are really into cars. One prominent practitioner here in Washington collects Ferraris -- but Tefft Smith is a fairly senior partner at Kirkland & Ellis, and you probably aren't.

So what you should do in the car department? From the ATL mailbag:

I'm a 3L with an offer to BigLaw in California. I'm planning on purchasing a car, but I'm wondering what is appropriate for a junior associate. I didn't think it was a big deal, but a friend of mine said that he saw some partners treat associates differently if their cars were nicer then theirs. He also said, clients aren't too happy seeing young associates driving around in Mercedes and BMW's. Is there any truth to this?

I don't want to buy a Honda Civic or something; I want people to take me seriously. But I also don't want to be too flashy. I was thinking either an Acura TSX or a Lexus IS 300.

FYI -- I'll be working in Northern California, so I don't need to have a super flashy car to pick up the L.A. girls.

We can understand partners not liking it when associates have absurdly nice autos. But on the flip side, we once heard about an associate at a white-collar criminal defense boutique whose boss ordered him to upgrade his vehicle -- a Civic, coincidentally enough -- because it would be bad for clients to see him in a Honda. The partner helpfully provided the associate with a list of acceptable luxury car makes (and the associate ended up getting a Volvo, one of the more reasonably priced options).

So, ATL readers, whaddya think? We look forward to your feedback, in the comments.

Born to Run: Tefft Smith and His Ferrari Fever [Legal Times]

The rain in Spain falls mainly on... a**holes? Well, only if most Spaniards are like Tomas Delgado -- and we're guessing (and hoping) they're not.

After all, since chutzpah like this doesn't come along often. Our latest Lawsuit of the Day hails from Spain, via CNN:

A Spanish businessman withdrew a controversial lawsuit Wednesday against the family of a teenage boy he struck and killed while driving a luxury car.

Tomas Delgado had filed a suit asking the dead boy's parents to pay him €20,000 ($29,400) on the grounds that the collision that killed their teenage son also damaged his Audi A-8.

After public outrage ensued, Delgado dropped the suit -- but was none too happy about it:

The businessman had insisted in a recent television interview that he was a victim, too. He was not present for a court hearing Wednesday. His lawyer told the court that Delgado felt that the extensive publicity amounted to a public lynching.

A high-tech lynch mob for an uppity Audi driver. Who was reportedly driving 107 miles per hour in an area where the speed limit is 55 miles per hour. Who hit the boy from behind, according to the boy's father, and "dragged [him] 106 meters (347 feet) along a rural highway."

Read more in the full article (which includes an interesting digression about how quickly you need to file your notice of appeal in Spanish courts; their appeal periods make ours look like an eternity).

Driver drops bid to sue family of boy he killed [CNN]

The Grinch stole... my Lincoln town car! This afternoon, the following email was sent to all personnel in the New York office of Dewey & LeBoeuf:

To: "DL All NY Personnel"

Sent: 12/11/2007, 12:42 PM

Subject: Holiday Party

As a reminder, the firm will be hosting a holiday party for the New York office this Monday, December 17. The party will be held at Del Frisco's from 6:00 pm - 10:00 pm, and will include a full bar, raw bar, carving stations and a DJ. We hope you join us and enjoy the event -- as we wind down an exciting year in our history, we certainly have a lot to celebrate.

Due to the increased number of attendees this year, we kindly ask that all attendees provide for their own transportation home. Furthermore, as we welcome all personnel from all three of our New York locations, we are unfortunately unable to accommodate spouses or guests at this year's party.

We thank you for all of your hard work and dedication in 2007 and look forward to seeing you at the holiday party next week.

------------------------------------------------------------
Dewey & LeBoeuf LLP
1301 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10019

A law firm holiday party without a chauffeur to ferry you home? Heresy! One tipster opines:

This seems quite ludicrous. They're offering an open bar for four hours, and yet they're telling everyone to find their own transportation home. Aside from the potential liability issues this may raise, it seems ridiculous that a firm as big as Dewey would require everyone to find their own car rides home.

Ah, but maybe size is the problem. When two already large, New York-based firms merge with one another, is the resulting behemoth so ginormous that covering its holiday party would suck up every livery vehicle on the island of Manhattan?

(Then again, a question: Does Skadden provide transportation home for people from its holiday party?)

To well-paid associates who live in Manhattan, springing for a cab may not be a big deal. But this may be somewhat inconvenient to support staff who live farther way -- e.g., hipster paralegals from Brooklyn, secretaries from Staten Island. Perhaps they will leave the festivities earlier than usual this year and take mass transit.

Does your firm provide transportation home from your holiday party? Feel free to share in the comments.

Update: Yes, we did note the dis-inviting of plus-ones (as pointed out in the comments). But that's par for the course, or "market," for New York law firm holiday parties. We believe that of the six firms whose parties we described in this piece, only one -- Sullivan & Cromwell -- allows spouses or dates.

Earlier: 'Tis the Season: A Round-Up of New York Law Firm Holiday Parties
Do Plaintiffs Lawyers Throw the Best Parties?

With the police, who pulled you over for a traffic infraction. But the good news is that you're getting it back. From CBS:

Eight grams of medical marijuana seized from a Garden Grove man during a traffic stop must be returned to him, according to an appeals court ruling directing local law enforcement to uphold state, not federal law.

A three-justice panel of the 4th District Court of Appeal [in California] weighed in on the issue in a published decision that sets precedent for future cases on similar issues.

The marijuana, which belonged to Felix Kha, 22, was confiscated during a traffic stop on June 10, 2005.

The city of Garden Grove tried to argue "that to the extent state law authorizers or mandates the return of Kha's marijuana, it is preempted by federal law." The appeals court didn't see it that way:

Kha's attorneys argued that the 10th Amendment to the Constitution effectively prohibits federal interference with California's medical marijuana laws, and the three-justice panel of the 4th District Court of Appeal agreed.

The justices found that because, under state law, Kha was lawfully entitled to possess the marijuana, "due process and fundamental fairness dictate that it be returned to him."

Indeed. Pass the bong, Your Honors!

P.S. The headline that CBS gave to the story is wrong. It was a state court, not a federal court, that issued the ruling.

Federal Court Rules Pot To Be Returned To Driver [CBS]

* Seventh Circuit to lawyer: What is this, amateur hour? [TaxProf Blog]

* Some more full length attorney bio pics. [Groom Law Group]

* Speaking of the whole Mac-PC thing... [Choate Hall & Stewart LLP]

* Former Congressman blows by the cops while getting blown, then refuses to blow. [Times Union]

* Ah jeez, the nuns too? [New York Times]

* Lockdown of Pakistani legal system intensifies. [CNN]

* Reggie Bush investigated for receiving gifts while at USC. [Los Angeles Times]

* Keanu sued for Porschal assault. [MSNBC]

* Peter Lattman on the charms of the dormant Commerce Clause. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Some Fahrvergnügen for Porsche, courtesy of the European Court of Justice. [How Appealing (linkwrap)]

* Surprise surprise: a Yale law professor has issues with Michael Mukasey. Professor (and novelist) Jed Rubenfeld questions the nominee's views of executive power. [New York Times via WSJ Law Blog]

* If confirmed, Mukasey has his work cut out for him. "Clearly the Justice Department has lost its mojo," said WilmerHale partner Reginald Brown. [Legal Times]

* Obama criticizes Hillary in Iowa mailing. [Politico via Drudge Report]

* A (very close) vote is expected this week on Leslie Southwick's Fifth Circuit nomination.
[Fox News via How Appealing]

Additional links, after the jump.

As we first reported yesterday, Professor D. Marvin Jones, who teaches constitutional law and criminal procedure (!) at the University of Miami law school, has been arrested for solicitation of a prostitute. Here's an interesting tidbit, from Blogonaut:

Professor Jones is the author of Race, Sex, and Suspicion: The Myth of the Black Male. Dare we predict a racially based defense? Or perhaps the good professor was merely researching a new book?

Some of you asked for more details about the alleged conduct. We've gotten on our hands on the incident report, which appears below. Note the tension between (1) Professor Jones's pimpin' ride, a Mercedes SL500, and (2) his alleged offer of a mere $20 to the "undercover officer possing [sic] as a prostitute."

Law professors don't make as much as Biglaw partners. But surely the driver of a Mercedes could be a little more generous!

University of Miami Law Professor Arrested for Soliciting Prostitution [Blogonaut]
Race, Sex, and Suspicion: The Myth of the Black Male [Amazon]
D. Marvin Jones bio [University of Miami School of Law]

Earlier: Lawyer of the Day: D. Marvin Jones

* It's hard to believe this car was parked in Brooklyn, of all places. [Althouse]

* The law school hiring process privileges glibness -- and is that a bad thing? Law professors are hired (1) to train lawyers, of all people, and (2) to write articles that sound like they're saying a lot, even when they're not. Glibness would seem to be a BFOQ. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Once our Surgeon General starts getting on our case about drinking, it's time to leave the country. But don't move to the U.K. [Charon QC: The Blawg]

* Speaking of emigration, Tonga says: "Give us your tired, your poor, your disgraced and disbarred lawyers, yearning to breathe free." [Blogonaut]

* Good news, Pennsylvanians. According to Professor Orin Kerr, "you can scream at your overflowing john all you want without violating the state's disorderly conduct offense." [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Martindale-Hubbell ratings: Pay to play? We find them less useful than they might otherwise be because so many lawyers aren't rated. Will charging a fee for inclusion exacerbate the problem? [Real Lawyers Have Blogs; HireTrade Blog]

* Thoughts on the Eighth Circuit fantasy baseball ruling (mentioned in Morning Docket), from Professor Neil Richards. [Concurring Opinions]

* Dionne Warwick is a tax deadbeat? Say it ain't so! [TaxProf Blog]

* Have a favorite New York blawg / blawger? Vote for them here. [Sui Generis]

* GM workers take break from, um, not working. [New York Times]

* Jena 6 charges thrown out because not filed in juvenile court. [CNN]

* O.J. gets squeezed for alleged Vegas robbery. [AP via Athens Banner-Herald]

* Mukasey it is. [New York Times]

We fondly remember this episode of 90210: "Brenda gets into a car accident. The woman involved in the accident claims she has whiplash and threatens to sue the Walsh family."

But then, when Brenda visits the woman at home to apologize, she looks through the living room window -- and sees the woman jazzercising in front of her TV!

We were reminded of it by this AP story:

An appeals court judge was indicted on charges of scamming $440,000 from insurers by claiming he suffered debilitating injuries in a car crash, even while he golfed, skated and went scuba diving, federal prosecutors said....

"The bodily injury he says he sustained we believe was fraudulent," U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan said.

According to the indictment, Pennsylvania Superior Court Judge Michael Thomas Joyce "received $390,000 from his insurer, Erie Insurance Group, and $50,000 from State Farm Insurance, which insured the other driver." But maybe the insurers should have been a little suspicious:

Prosecutors said Joyce's car was rear-ended at about 5 mph in August 2001, and no police or medical personnel were called.... [Yet] Joyce complained of debilitating injuries, anxiety and difficulty sleeping and claimed they prevented him from pursuing higher judicial office, prosecutors said.

Being indicted on federal fraud charges might "prevent[] him from pursuing higher judicial office," too.

Pa. Judge Accused of Bilking Insurers [Associated Press]

If you're driving 100 miles per hour, but in a hybrid vehicle, can you still get pulled over? Unfortunately for Al Gore III, yes. From Reuters:

The 24-year-old son of former Vice President Al Gore was arrested for drug possession on Wednesday after he was stopped for speeding in his hybrid Toyota Prius, a sheriff's official said.

Al Gore III -- whose father is a leading advocate of policies to fight global warming -- was driving his environmentally friendly car at about 100 miles per hour on a freeway south of Los Angeles when he was pulled over by an Orange County sheriff's deputy at about 2:15 a.m.

Speed limits suck. Why can't we institute a system of "speeding offsets," like the market for carbon offsets? Grandmothers in Boca Raton, who consistently drive 10 miles under the speed limit, could supplement their incomes by selling the right to speed. Who needs Social Security?

After the traffic stop, things only got worse for young Al. From the New York Daily News:

Deputies then searched the car, and Gore faced an inconvenient truth when they allegedly found a small amount of pot and mind-altering pills - Xanax, Valium, Vicodin and Adderall.

"He does not have a prescription for any of those drugs," [a sheriff's spokesman] said.

Finally, we loved this little detail:

Al the 3rd lives in Los Angeles and works for GOOD magazine, which describes itself as "media for people who give a damn."

If this arrest is BAD for Al's career at GOOD, we hear they're accepting résumés over at High Times.

Al Gore's son busted for drugs in hybrid car [Reuters]
He's our li'l eco-maniac! [New York Daily News]
Al Gore's Son Busted! [TMZ via Jezebel]

Time for some celebrity DWI news. It's like your morning coffee: you can't get your day started without it.

First, troubled underage starlet Lindsay Lohan (near right) -- who is back in rehab, after a drunk driving arrest over the Memorial Day weekend -- allegedly suffers from OxyContin addiction, according to her estranged dad, Michael Lohan.

On the one hand, Lohan's felonious father may not be the most reliable source. But on the other hand, we're talking about Lindsay Lohan.

Second, an update on someone whose misadventures we have followed quite closely in these pages: Ann Banaszewski (far right), daughter of Justice Antonin Scalia (far right). From the Chicago Tribune:

A daughter of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia pleaded guilty Wednesday to drunken driving in Wheaton in February....

Banaszewski accepted a plea agreement with prosecutors and was sentenced by DuPage County Judge Daniel Guerin to 18 months of court supervision. She also was ordered to perform 140 hours of public service (of which 40 hours must be beneficial to children), attend counseling and treatment sessions, attend a victim-impact panel and pay $1,500 in fines and fees.

Will his daughter's brush with the law turn the crustily conservative Nino into a bleeding heart for criminal defendants? Stay tuned.

(Yes, we know -- Justice Scalia has handed down numerous rulings favorable to criminal defendants. E.g., Blakely v. Washington; Crawford v. Washington. But he's far from the most pro-defendant member of the Court.)

Lohan's Dad: Lindsay Hooked on OxyContin [Associated Press]
Justice's daughter pleads guilty to DUI [Chicago Tribune]
Scalia's daughter pleads guilty to drunken driving [Journal-Gazette / Times-Courier]

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Ann Banaszewski (scroll down)

He's not a judge yet, so we can't bestow our coveted Judge of the Day award upon him. But he has secured the Democratic nomination for a judgeship, in Philadelphia -- which means he has a decent shot of being elected.

Then again, whether Willie Singletary gets elected to the bench may depend upon how much the electorate appreciates irony. From the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Willie Singletary won a Democratic nomination for Traffic Court last week despite being a scofflaw of major proportions.

As of primary day, Singletary, 26, owed $11,427.50 for 55 violations, including reckless driving, driving without a license, careless driving, driving without registration, and driving without insurance.

In fact, a bench warrant had been issued for his arrest - a fact made public after the election by Bernard Strain, who lost in the Democratic primary for Traffic Court but who won a Republican nomination.

A little more discussion, after the jump.

Hampton Inn is the dumpy and unacceptable no frills, budget-oriented brand within the Hilton Hotel family. But compared to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, where Paris Hilton will be serving out a 45-day sentence for violating the terms of her probation, a Hampton Inn looks like the Waldorf Towers.

At this grim county jail, don't look for a mint on your pillow. Expect some pubic hair from a "very masculine lesbian[]," and you're less likely to be disappointed.

From the New York Daily News (which could barely conceal its glee over Hilton's upcoming jail stint):

Hilton will have to say "goodbye" to dye jobs and cosmetics and "hello" to five-minute showers once a day. Her friends and family will only be able to talk to her through glass and her phone calls will be made on the jail's closely monitored pay phones.

Purse-pooch, Tinkerbell, will not be allowed to visit. And forget those designer duds she bought on Rodeo Drive. In the big house, Paris will have to make two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits last for a week.

Eh, no big deal -- Paris prefers romping around in the buff anyway. And she won't be fazed by the loss of privacy, since all the other inmates have already seen her naked.

More discussion, after the jump.