Earlier this week, we asked readers to submit possible captions for this photo:
On Wednesday, you voted on the finalists, and now it’s time to announce our caption contest winner…
As bar exam week wraps up, we have some delightful stories about how people celebrated the completion of what could be the last test they’ll ever take.
None of these stories are coming out of Massachusetts, which means that none of these people finished the bar while being harassed about their fundamental religious rights. Instead, we have stories about beer and (unrelated) car accidents.
But we’re going to start with the guy who left the bar exam in a limo, because clearly that’s the right thing to do…
There are lawyers who are eager to advocate for their clients, and then there are lawyers who are so overzealously eager to advocate for their clients that they’re willing to do just about anything to win a case. Some of those that fall into the latter group are a**holes, but others are just plain awesome.
The guy we’re writing about today is a rock star of epic proportions. Who the hell leaves a Ferrari to be destroyed in quickly rising floodwaters to get a hearing?
A guy who shrugs it off and says he’ll get another one…
* “Screw all these other cases, man, we’re ready for the real stuff — you know… the gay stuff.” Damn, a satirical article that perfectly captures our thoughts. Don’t worry, it’s coming today. [The Onion]
* On a more serious note, this is obviously a really big day for gay marriage at the Supreme Court. Will the justices settle the score, or leave this movement’s supporters high and dry? [Wall Street Journal]
* Big Tech has always been a proponent of gay rights, and some of the most respected brands in America are hoping same-sex marriage doesn’t get the blue screen of death from SCOTUS. [Politico]
* Everyone else loses, but Scalia always wins. He couldn’t have asked for more after Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act was struck down. So long, “racial entitlements.” [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]
* “No, we’re not going to do layoffs. We’d never do layoffs. Everything is just fine. Seriously, we won’t do stealth layoffs either. Promise! Believe us, pretty please,” said the managing partner of every peer Biglaw firm after the Weil winnowing. [Am Law Daily]
* Law schools are freaking out about a new American Bar Association proposal to tighten their bar passage requirements, and they’re blaming all of their alarm on diversity issues. [National Law Journal]
* Pop star Chris Brown was charged in a hit-and-run, and surprisingly, Rihanna had nothing to do with it. The new charges may affect his probation, and he might even go to jail. [Arts Beat / New York Times]
No one enjoys driving in Los Angeles. There’s smog, hours of backed up traffic, and occasional car chases. Angelinos can now add one more item to their reasons to hate driving — an area attorney waiting to beat the hell out of them.
“Road rage” is a fact of life in Southern California. Remember this clip from L.A. Story? But people like to — unfairly — think of road rage as a phenomenon afflicting working stiffs, not well-heeled professionals.
However, a veteran attorney lost his cool in a roadside brawl with another motorist in business attire just off the 405 in Van Nuys.
And we have video…
I told my dad “Fudge you” just once. I was fifteen or sixteen and he was being a real butthole. Saying some crap about the clothes I was wearing. My jeans were too fricking big or something, I don’t know. Style, huh? Anyway, I was standing there with my big fricking jeans literally hanging off my backside, when dad starts in on me. Saying all his crap about my big fricking jeans. So I say it. I just up and say it. “Fudge you.” Life, as it has from time to time since that fateful moment, paused. And not slightly, but for, like, ten fricking minutes. Time just stood freaking still and the moments to come just waited there, I guess. Waiting to freaking happen cause time had stood still and all. Well, when time started up again, I hightailed it back to my room as my dad just stood there silently. Not a freaking word to be said, I guess. I must have sat in my room for two hours, until my mom came home and retrieved me from my self-imposed exile. “Cheese and rice, what did you say to your father? He’s sore as heck over something you said.” I told her and she blushed and I blushed and she told me I ought to apologize. She told me to pull up my pants, too. On account of my butt showing.
There are moments in life that just scream for curse words. For sailors, those moments take up their entire lives! For the rest of us, we must pick our moments carefully. One Connecticut man recently cussed a fudging blue streak all over his speeding ticket, earning the ire of the small town that issued the citation.
And now it’s not just a huge freaking deal, but also a possible crapstorm of constitutional proportions…
Driving while drunk is wrong. I’m not going to dispute that. In fact, that’s why I live in New York, where my drinking
habit hobby can never put anyone at risk. Except me, I suppose.
And the drive to drive drunk-driving incidents down further is in full swing, with the National Transportation Safety Board suggesting that states reduce the legal limit for driving to .05% — the level of intoxication achieved by inhaling while walking past a bar.
That said, are there ever any exceptions to the ironclad rule? And might one of those be fleeing an attacker?
Mayor Michael Bloomberg takes a lot of heat. From the smoking ban, to the soda limit, to the bike share program, it seems like nothing he supports can avoid polarizing the public. I’m not defending every idea that the diminutive Mayor Tyrion proposes, just noting that every idea gets a lot of flack.
Bloomberg is so opposed in some corners that a Biglaw firm has taken directly contradictory positions against the city just to stick it to Bloomberg. And like many of Bloomberg’s rivals, the firm got smacked down by the courts.
It didn’t help the anti-Bloomberg brigade to submit a filing complete with some embarrassing typos…