Celebrities

* So, after being shut down for more than two years, Caitlin Halligan asked President Obama to withdraw her nomination to the D.C. Circuit. This is how democracy works in our country, folks, and it’s pretty sad. [People For the American Way; Post Politics / Washington Post]

* In America, we’re trying to get official recognition for gay marriage. In Scotland, they’re trying to get official recognition for weddings performed by Jedi Knights. Please, by all means, proceed to stroke each other’s lightsabers over this exciting nerd news. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Oh my god, this is something I’m definitely going to have to sit down and read, it looks so salacious and — oh. *eyeroll* This just in from the subtitle letdown department…. [Overlawyered]

* A political consultant in Nebraska apparently got himself fired because he called Sen. Danielle Conrad a C-U-Next-Tuesday on his Facebook page. That was way harsh, Tai. [Jezebel]

* Click here to listen to Professor Brian Tamanaha and Dean Lawrence Mitchell talk about rethinking the future of legal education. Tamanaha thinks the tuition is too damn high, whereas Dean Mitchell simply thinks that “life is expensive.” Not even kidding, he really said that. [Associate's Mind]

* At Target, you can definitely expect more and pay less, but that’s probably because your money’s allegedly being stolen out of the cash register. [Legal Juice]

* And just because I love just about everything that Lindsay Lohan does because she’s the hottest of all messes, here’s a timeline of her mug shots ranked in order of her sex appeal. I love that we live in a world where such a thing actually exists! [Gawker]

You’re usually dealing with a spoiled brat. You’re dealing with someone who is very narcissistic, egotistical and used to going through people, and it creates a real challenge.

Thomas Mesereau, the lawyer who got Michael Jackson an acquittal in his 2005 child molestation trial, commenting on what it’s like to represent celebrity clients during “Celebrities Behind Bars? When Celebrity Clients Are Charged With Crimes,” a panel hosted by the Beverly Hills Bar Association.

Oh my god, I’m going to kill you.

Lindsay Lohan, muttering under her breath in frustration during her court appearance yesterday after her lawyer, Mark Heller — a man who was previously scolded by Judge James Dabney for being “incompetent” as to California law — kept speaking even though the starlet had already directed him to shut up, numerous times.

(Don’t believe us? We’ve got the video to prove it.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan’s Lunacy: ‘Mean Girl’ Threatens to Kill Lawyer”

One of our writers thought Billy Joel was saying, “We didn’t start the fire. It was always burning, said the worst attorney.”

– Comedian and television host Jimmy Fallon, commenting via Twitter on some of the world’s worst misheard lyrics.

(Do you know of any other entertaining, law-related misheard lyrics? Feel free to post them in the comments.)

April’s right around the corner. Earlier today I finalized my taxes for last year. It’s never a pleasant task, but at least I had a better go of it than Stephen Baldwin.

Baldwin, the youngest of the Baldwin brothers, ran headlong into a mess of money troubles over the years and responded by ducking out on his taxes. To be precise, $350,000 worth of New York state taxes.

Now, according to his lawyer, the actor has reached an agreement with prosecutors that may not “restore” him, but is certainly better than the alternative…

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Stephen Baldwin Plea Agreement — Thank God We Won’t Lose His Acting Genius”

Another day, another paternity suit for a basketball legend, and this time, it’s some regular old baby mama drama (not this delusional “LeBromination” business). Apparently Michael Jordan is the latest NBA star to fall prey to a scandalous request for a paternity test. Of course, this is nothing new for His Airness — he’s had to deal with several such allegations from women claiming they dribbled his balls.

But in this iteration of what would likely be the most-watched Maury Povich episode of all time, thanks to the wonders of the internet, we’ve got a teenager with a video message plea for more Twitter followers, and also for his alleged father to take a more active role in his life….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Full-Court Press For Michael Jordan’s Baby Mama Drama”

Okay, we can all stop worrying. Lindsay Lohan’s new attorney Mark Heller is pretty sure he knows how to “fix” the actress and he’s written a letter to the prosecutors extolling his power to succeed where all others have failed. And it involves establishing the “Lindsay Lohan Foundation.” I’m eagerly awaiting the mission statement for that organization.

The judge is not pleased with Heller’s letter. The exact term used in reports of the judge’s reaction is “pissed.” Pissing off the judge within the first month on the case. Hey, Lindsay, maybe Heller isn’t the best choice for representation. I mean, who is this guy?

Mark Heller’s decades-long legal career is described by observers as publicity-seeking and erratic.

Oh, wait. So maybe this is actually a match made in Heaven to work with LiLo….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lindsay Lohan’s Lawyer Is Ready To Solve All Her Problems”

* For any Catholics hitting up PaddyPower to lay down money on the conclave, you’ve probably had some restless nights wondering if Pope Gregory XIV’s edict per the Ius Decretalium still applies. It doesn’t. That’s a load off. [Canon Law Blog]

* A number of strip clubs are challenging San Antonio’s new regulations. One key to their argument: “the presentation of expressive dance performances is a beneficial social activity which creates an improved self image for the dancer….” Yeah, good luck with that argument. [KEGL]

* If you’re looking for emotional distress damages, maybe lay off the “I’m just embarrassed to be seen with him now” arguments. [Lowering the Bar]

* To challenge the law letting the government tap your communications in secret, you need to have full knowledge that the secret recording is happening. Thanks Joseph Heller. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Lindsay Lohan can’t catch a break with her legal counsel. Hey, LiLo! Next time check Avvo to find a higher rated lawyer. [Perez Hilton]

* The new Copyright Alert System goes into effect, allowing copyright holders to make your service provider slow your Internet to a crawl if you’re identified as a repeat violator. I don’t see what the big deal is, but then again, I’m still using a Prodigy account. [Gawker]

* MC Hammer is softening, but still a tad miffed after police booked him for an expired registration after he told them, “U Can’t Touch This.” [Los Angeles Times]

* Are you kidding? University of North Carolina’s “Honor Court” is threatening to expel a student for “intimidating” her attacker by discussing that she was raped — without identifying her attacker. This is why North Carolina can’t have nice things. [Feministing]

Like many of today’s celebrities, Britney Spears has had her fair share of legal troubles — except hers are a little crazier than your average Lohan-esque criminal case. From child custody hearings to conservatorships, our favorite pop tart has seen it all. Given that she’s been in and out of court so many times, you knew that she’d eventually become romantically entangled with a lawyer.

As luck would have it, Brit-Brit was caught by the paparazzi last week while out on a romantic Valentine’s Day date with a mysterious suitor. This time, as opposed to being a back-up dancer or an agent, Ms. Spears’s new love interest is reportedly (gasp!) an average joe, who just so happens to work for a law firm.

So what does he do? Well, that’s actually up for debate….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Britney Spears Is Kind Of Dating A Lawyer… Okay, Not Really”

‘If you really wanna party with me…’

Most professional conferences for lawyers are painfully boring. You register, engage in awkward small talk with other attendees, and the time spent listening to the speakers’ presentations is often interrupted by incessant watch-checking to see if time is, in fact, going in slow motion. We’re willing to bet that most lawyers would rather subject themselves to the evils of document review than continue to suffer through another monotonous, days-long conference.

But what if in exchange for all of that never-ending boredom, the conference host was gracious enough to provide all of the lawyers present with the concert experience of their lives?

That’s a respite from torture that everyone would be willing to pay for….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Busta Rhymes Comes Out of Hiding to Rap for Lawyers”

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