* It’s not slander if you call him a balding pervert. Or her an opportunist (and probably a desperate one at that — this is really scratching the bottom of the barrel, honey). [Page Six]
* Quakers like to keep their lawsuits confined to townhouse meetings. If you think you knew this because you saw Witness, you are guilty of lumping together all the religious denominations of rural Pennsylvania, and that’s just wrong. [Point of Law].
* The most obscure Baldwin brother, Daniel Baldwin, steals a car — and then some. (Volokh Conspiracy]
* Mitchell Stein, Esq., is one unhappy dog owner. And if you were him, you wouldn’t want
Celebrities
- Celebrities, Crime, Cyberlaw, Defamation, Gambling, Nauseating Things, Non-Sequiturs, Pets, Religion, Sex
Non-Sequiturs: 11.09.06
By Stella Q
In light of the recent spate of law firm mergers, one can’t help wondering: How do these unions generally turn out? Are they storybook romances, in which the two law firms live happily ever after? Or do they turn into dysfunctional relationships, which the partners regret getting into?
In its weddings pages, the New York Times sometimes checks back in on a couple whose nuptials were announced in the Times years ago. Sometimes these couples are still happily married, with a gaggle of kids; sometimes they have gone their separate ways.
Imitating this tradition, the National Law Journal checks back in on Edwards & Angell and Palmer & Dodge, on the first anniversary of their November 1, 2005, merger. This particular merger was the law firm equivalent of a “shotgun wedding”: it took place quickly, with relatively little premerger planning.
The verdict? After some initial growing pains and culture clashes, things are fine. The larger combined firm is scooping up some excellent business. Here’s the money quote:
“Lawyers speculate whether size matters,” said co-managing partner Terrence Finn. “We’ve come to the conclusion that it does.”
Britney Spears, on the other hand, respectfully dissents.
A ‘Leap of Faith’ Merger, One Year Later [National Law Journal]
Kevin Federliine Holds Cellphone With Penis [A Socialite's Life]
Earlier: Breaking: Britney Spears Files for Divorce!!!
Mark Vincent Kaplan: Lawyer to Layabout Lovers
- Celebrities, Crime, Death Penalty, Deaths, Divorce Train Wrecks, Election Law, Family Law, Kids, Morning Docket, Murder, Politics, Rape, Sentencing Law, Sex
Morning Docket: 11.09.06
By Billy Merck* Democrats likely to officially declare victory today in the Senate; Allen “has no intention of dragging this out.” [CNN; Election Law Blog]
* Thank you sir may I have another… .life sentence; Malvo gets life in Maryland. [CNN; Washington Post; Baltimore Sun]
* Another one bites the KCl in Texas. [CourtTV]
* KFed wants the kids, yo. I still say DFACS should take ‘em. [AP via FindLaw]
* California sex offender law found temporarily blocked by judge one day after being approved on the ballot by voters. [AP via FindLaw]
* While Gawker seems obsessed with the social-climbing aspiration of ex-Skaddenite Melissa Berkelhammer, hopefully we’ll soon find out what makes her any worse than the others. [Page Six via Socialite Rank]
* Denmark let the little mermaid stay, and yet they won’t let foreign-born spouses of Danish nationals cross the “Love Bridge.” [Bloomberg].
* Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth making. (Sorry we didn’t cover the Hilary Duff stalker story, but there are some celebrity stories even we don’t care about.) [AP via Yahoo! News]
* Something(s) undoubtedly went down, but it couldn’t have been as bad as this. Please, Dr. Huxtable, say it ain’t so. [AP via NY Lawyer]
When we wrote about the Britney Spears-Kevin Federline divorce yesterday, we solicited interesting tidbits about Spears’s high-flying divorce lawyer, Laura Wasser.
We haven’t heard much about Wasser. But we did get this funny factoid about Federline’s counsel, Mark Kaplan:
This is a great tip, if you have a good history of celebrity divorce: Federline’s lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, was CHRIS JUDD’S lawyer!!! I assume I don’t need to explain to you why this is funny.
For those of you who do require explanation: Cris Judd is a dancer and actor, best known not for his professional accomplishments (whatever they might be), but for his failed marriage to Jennifer Lopez. Judd, a former backup dancer to J.Lo, was her second husband — or possibly her third, if you believe those rumors of a brief marriage to David Cruz.
Family law practitioners in Hollywood tend to develop specialty niches. Some represent wealthy husbands, seeking to divorce their first wives with minimal financial pain. Some represent the jilted spouses, seeking to take their husbands for all they’re worth. Some defend paternity suits brought against promiscuous celebrities.
And some Tinseltown divorce lawyers, like Mark Kaplan, represent future Trivial Pursuit answers.
BREAKING NEWS: BRITNEY & WHATSISNAME SPLIT [The Smart Patrol]
Earlier: Breaking: Britney Spears Files for Divorce!!!
If we were counsel to MTV, we’d advise them to include a warning each time they play the mesmerizing music video for “Hips Don’t Lie.” As Shakira’s hips undulate hypnotically to the beat, a warning should scroll across the bottom of the screen: “Don’t try this at home.”
Why? A failure to warn could subject MTV to a wave of lawsuits. If the 15-year-old daughter of a plaintiff’s lawyer pulls her groin while trying to “get her Shakira on,” expect MTV and Shakira to get served the next day.
If you find this far-fetched, consider this wacky lawsuit:
A New Jersey woman who fell off a wet bar and injured herself while dancing in a “Shake-It-Like-Shakira” contest is suing the Manhattan bar that sponsored the shake-off.
Megan Zacher, 22, of Delanco, N.J fell inside Calico Jack’s Cantina on 42nd Street at Second Avenue on July 8, 2006. Her lawyer, Lawrence Simon, said the fall caused a torn ligament in her left knee and required surgery.
And what’s the plaintiff’s theory of liability?
[Zacher] has filed suit against Calico Jack’s Cantina, saying the bar “knew or should have known that the ‘Shake It Like Shakira’ promotion was dangerous and likely to lead to injury.”
We’re of two minds here. On the one hand, the plaintiff bears some of the responsibility: she may have been negligent (or drunk) herself, or at least assumed much of the risk. On the other hand, any reasonable barkeep “knew or should have known” it could be dangerous to let a bunch of drunken bridge-and-tunnel girls dance, on top of a wet and crowded bar, in a contest to imitate a talented terpsichorean.
Remember, dramshop owners: Coyote Ugly was only a movie.
Earlier: Previous Lawsuits of the Day (scroll down)
Those Hips May Not Be Judgment-Proof [TortsProf Blog]
Hips Don’t Lie For Injured Lady In Wet Bar Contest [WCBS - NY]
GAL $HAKES HER FIST AT HIP BAR [New York Post via WSJ Law Blog]
Shakira: Hips Don’t Like [YouTube (click through and enjoy now, before it gets yanked)]
- Britney Spears, Celebrities, Copyright, Deaths, Divorce Train Wrecks, Family Law, Intellectual Property, Music, Non-Sequiturs, Perverts, Politics, Sex
Non-Sequiturs: 11.07.06
By Stella Q* It’s becoming a trend. Another member of the bar takes his own life after being accused of sexual misconduct. [New York Times]
* Let’s keep it light, shall we? Yup, Britney has finally wised up. The bad news is that she lost her lawsuit against US Magazine; the court held that Britney asked for it. No word on what the judge thought of that other infamous video. [Defamer]
* Will feckless music heirs, like Hugh Grant’s character in About a Boy, actually have to get jobs? Even though Courtney Love recently sold part of her stake in Nirvana’s song catalog, I think Frances Bean is still pretty safe. [Lessig Blog]
* Take a cue from Chelsea Clinton, who was up and ready to vote before 6 a.m. today! Wow, celebrities ARE just like us. (Well, no, not like me, since I, like most BigLaw attorneys, straggle in, like, around 10 a.m.) [Empire Zone]
Midterm elections, consider yourselves upstaged. Pop princess Britney Spiers is divorcing her wastrel husband, Kevin Federline.
More details, from TMZ (which broke the story, and has a copy of the divorce petition (PDF)):
[T]he legal papers, filed today in Los Angeles County Superior Court, [cite] “irreconcilable differences.” In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple’s two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.
As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Oct. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She’s also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney’s fees….
Spears has hired powerhouse celebrity divorce lawyer Laura Wasser, who has repped a number of celebs, including Angelina Jolie, Nick Lachey and Kiefer Sutherland. We’re told Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe asked Wasser to rep both of them in their split, but Wasser declined for personal reasons.
We’re all in favor of keeping marriages together. But this split may be for the best. K-Fed was bad news from the start.
If any of you have worked with or litigated against Spears’s attorney, Laura A. Wasser, and can tell us a little more about her, please drop us a line.
Britney Spears Files for Divorce [TMZ.com]
Britney Spears FINALLY Divorces K-Fed [Gawker]
Britney Spears Divorcing K-Fed, Immediately Begins Search For Next Bad Relationship [Defamer]
Britney Spears Files For Divorce, Quashing Further Use of ‘Spederline’ [Jossip]
Laura Allison Wasser bio [Martindale-Hubbell]
Divorcing Stars Pick This Group: Top Hollywood Divorce Lawyers [USA Today]
For those of you who dread receiving that jury duty summons, some bad news: Jury duty is getting harder to avoid. From USA Today:
No one keeps national figures on jury duty no-shows, but the American Judicature Society considers the problem an epidemic in some communities, especially large urban areas such as Miami, Houston and Atlanta, where no-show rates routinely top 50%, says David McCord, a society spokesman.
As a result, “communities are emphasizing the consequences of skipping jury duty.” Jury duty dodgers can be fined or even sentenced to jail, USA Today reports.
In Washington, even “celebrities” — “famous-for-DC” folks, the types of people who regularly get Wonk’d — must also discharge their civic obliations. We wrote a short piece about jury duty and high-profile D.C. residents for the current issue of Washingtonian magazine (on newsstands now). Here’s an excerpt:
Karl Rove and Ralph Nader don’t agree on much—but both believe in the importance of jury service, and both got to practice what they preach, reporting for duty to DC Superior Court.
Rove—no stranger to grand-jury proceedings—was summoned for DC jury duty in July. He was greeted by several in the jury pool who recognized him, among them former secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Rove and Albright chatted amiably.
Like Rove, Nader has reported for DC jury duty more than once. “The pool is so small,” he says, “I get called every two or three years. I’m never selected, even though I want to be.” His consolation prize? Treating himself to lunch at the courthouse cafeteria, which he says has “pretty good food.”
You can read the rest of the piece — which includes an interesting anecdote about how George Stephanopoulos got out of jury duty, and some sassy words from Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton — by clicking here.
(Shameless Plug: We’ve done a number of freelance pieces for print publications. Editors, please drop us a line if you might be interested in giving us an assignment.)
Jury Duty Is Getting Harder To Shirk [USA Today via How Appealing]
Who’s on the Jury? Not Nader or Rove [Washingtonian Magazine]
That’ll teach us to rely upon the mainstream media. Last week we passed along the news, reported by Variety, that movie star Wesley Snipes had cut a deal with the Internal Revenue Service. Snipes stands accused of engaging in massive tax fraud. According to Variety, Snipes negotiated a deal under which he wouldn’t serve any jail time, and would pay taxes and penalties to the IRS under an installment plan.
Well, we take it all back. From another MSM outlet, but a more venerable one:
Wesley Snipes, who often portrays law enforcement agents in movies, remains a federal fugitive, and no deal has been made to drop the tax fraud and conspiracy charges against him, a spokesman for Paul I. Perez, the United States attorney in central Florida, said yesterday.
Straightforward enough — on-the-record comment from a U.S.A.O. flack. So how did Variety get this so wrong?
Patrick Frater, who wrote the [Variety] article, said yesterday that he spoke to three associates of Mr. Snipes, but made no attempt to check with prosecutors about what they had said. Any blame for inaccuracy, he added, should rest on Variety editors “who put it through” into print.
Two quick thoughts. First, we never went to journalism school, but aren’t MSM reporters supposed to reach out to both parties to a story in the course of their reporting?
Second, one of the nice things about blogging is that your writing doesn’t have to be filtered through an editor. But the downside is that, when the stuff hits the fan, you have nobody to blame but yourself.
No Deal Made to Free Actor in Tax Case, Prosecutors Say [New York Times]
Earlier: Wesley Snipes Cuts a Deal with the IRS
White Men Can’t Jump — But They Can Nab You for Tax Evasion
-
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Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past six years. You can reach them by email: asia@kinneyrecruiting.com.
Deal flow has clearly picked recently up for most US associates, counsels and partners in Hong Kong/China and Singapore. We are on the phone with a lot of these folks on a daily basis, many of whom we have known for years. Further, the head of our Asia team, Evan Jowers, and Kinney’s founder and president, Robert Kinney, frequently meet in person with leading US partners in Asia to assess their needs and keep on top of the inside scoop at as many firms as possible. The need for legal recruiting help in Asia from experienced recruiters appears to be live and well. In March, Evan and Robert were in Beijing at such meetings, in April, Evan was in Hong Kong, and for half of June Evan will be in Shanghai and Hong Kong. Thus its pretty easy for us to tell when there has been an across-the-market pick up in capital markets and corporate work.
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