Celebrities

Elizabeth Wurtzel’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year

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Elizabeth Wurtzel, today.

Why do we love to write about celebrity author and lawyer Elizabeth Wurtzel? Because people love to read about her. Even a passing mention of La Wurtzel garners thousands of pageviews, and her name routinely shows up in the top search terms that bring readers to Above the Law.

We aren’t alone in devoting significant editorial real estate to Liz Wurtzel. New York Magazine just published a mammoth essay by this bestselling memoir writer and former Boies Schiller associate. The piece, exceeding 5,500 words, appeared in print as well as online — accompanied by photos of Wurtzel looking much younger than her 45 years.

Wurtzel looks fabulous in the photos, but the essay itself is something of a downer. If you enjoy hating on Wurtzel, taking schadenfreude from her financial, romantic, and bar exam failures, you need to read it….

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Above the Law’s Top Ten Most Popular Posts of 2012

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It’s the last day of December, so it’s a good time to look back on the year that was. We’ll do what we’ve done for the past three years (wrap-up posts from 2009, 2010, and 2011 can be found here, here, and here) and identify the ten biggest stories of the past year as decided by you, our readers. With the help of Google Analytics, we’ve compiled a list of our top ten posts for 2012, based on traffic (as represented by pageviews).

By the way, for the third year in a row, the most popular category page on Above the Law was Law Schools. People have now been intensely focused on the declining value proposition of going to law school for as long as it takes to earn a Juris Doctor degree. Isn’t it time that we graduate from the current educational model?

The second and third most-popular categories on ATL in 2012 were Biglaw and Bonuses. Although this year brought us the largest law firm failure ever, nearly all other firms indiscriminately doled out offers to summer associates, and bonus season looked better for the first time in years. While the legal profession is still in transition, things are certainly looking up, and through the highs and the lows, we’ve been there to cover it all.

So what were the ten most popular individual posts at Above the Law in 2012? Let’s find out….

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Morning Docket: 12.10.12

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* “The people who are paying us say this is what we want.” When it comes to cross-border mergers, law firms aren’t becoming behemoths for the hell of it. The end goal is to be able to edge out the rest of the competition. [Wall Street Journal (sub. req.)]

* It’s been six weeks since Hurricane Sandy hit the east coast, and “[e]verybody wants to go back downtown,” but some Biglaw firms in New York City — firms like Harris Beach and Cahill Gordon — are still stuck in their temporary offices. [New York Law Journal]

* Following Jeh Johnson’s adieu to the DoD, drone-loving Harold Koh will be packing up his office at the State Department and returning to Yale Law to resume his professorship next month. [WSJ Law Blog (sub. req.)]

* According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the legal sector is employing 5,800 more people than it was at this time last year. We’d be in good shape if 40,000 people hadn’t graduated law school in May. [Am Law Daily]

* Another day, another wrist slap: Villanova Law has been placed on probation for by the Association of American Law Schools over its grade-inflation scandal. Does that even mean anything? [Philadelphia Inquirer]

* The Lanier Law Firm, known for its spectacular Christmas parties, hosted some country superstars at this year’s event. Guess we know where Faith Hill and Tim McGraw go for legal assistance. [Houston Chronicle]

* A slim majority of American adults think that federal government employees should just sit back, relax, and smoke a bowl instead of enforcing federal laws against marijuana use. [FiveThirtyEight / New York Times]

* “I’m sorry they are confused in the White House.” Puerto Rico’s statehood referendum received a majority of votes, but lawmakers say the results of the two-part plebiscite are too confusing to add a 51st state. [CNN]

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Fashion Law & Order: Hand Over the Cash, or Risk Kidnapping Over Peep-Toes

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If you’re not familiar with Wendy Williams, we’ll tell you a thing or two about her: this “shock jockette” claims to be the “Queen of All Media,” she has her own syndicated talk show, she’s been known to pull her insider information about the stars she interviews out of her own rear end, and she’s even got a few rappers dropping beats in an attempt to shut her up. And because nothing says classy like purchasing fashion goods hawked at 3 a.m. on TV, we’d be remiss if we forgot to mention Williams’s line of shoes and other accessories, sold exclusively by QVC.

As it turns out, Williams is having a bit of legal trouble with the Chinese manufacturing firm that’s likely gluing her new shoe line together with the tears of underpaid children. It seems that Williams’s Chinese cobblers would like to get paid, so much so that they’re fiercely protesting and even taking hostages, all over some peep-toe shoes with heels dangerously high enough to qualify for instant stripper status in most polite social circles.

Staci Riordan, a partner at Fox Rothschild who runs the firm’s Fashion Law Blog (and who also spells her name in the most fabulous of ways, might we add), is representing manufacturer Max Harvest, in their shoe problems against the media queen, while Ken Schulman of Pryor Cashman is representing Williams. And unfortunately for Williams, “things don’t work in China the way they work in the United States….”

Continue reading over at Fashionista….

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What Does Chief Justice John Roberts Have in Common With Lena Dunham?

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We know what you must be thinking: how could the Chief Justice of the United States have anything in common with the woman who wrote and starred in Girls, the overtly sexualized hit series on HBO? Chief Justice John Roberts thinks that corporations are people whose money talks, while Lena Dunham often appears naked on the small screen while contemplating raunchy sex acts. The pair seem like complete opposites — but as we know from that fabulous Paula Abdul song, opposites sometimes attract.

As it turns out, Chief Justice Roberts and Dunham were both big hits this year with liberal thinkers. Yes, you read that correctly. Roberts, once a bastion of conservative hope, is now being praised as a liberal hero alongside a woman who starred in an Obama ad that likened first-time voting to losing one’s virginity.

They’ve even been named on a few year-end lists together. Let’s check them out….

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A List Of Some Of The Most Prominent Law School Dropouts

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Times are tough these days for law school graduates, so to be quite frank, we don’t blame you if you’re considering dropping out. Because when some of your post-graduation career options involve document review hell, stocking the shelves at a local retail shop, or performing what’s essentially slave labor to the tune of $10,000, dropping out may be your best bet. But not to worry, because if you were to drop out, you’d be in some pretty good company.

For example, would Gene Kelly have been singing in the rain if had he continued on with his legal studies at Pittsburgh School of Law? Yes, this choreographer extraordinaire and musical jack-of-all-trades attended law school for only two months before he dropped out, and his life was all the better for it.

Who else can be counted among our nation’s most famous law school dropouts?

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Comment of the Week: What? OKAY! Yeeeeeah!

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When we posted video of Lil Wayne’s deposition earlier this week, we knew the epically rude (and vaguely threatening) clips would lead to comment gold.

Because nothing leads to jokes and jokes and jokes like one of the most absurd personalities in hip-hop culture thrown into a room with a buttoned-up lawyer.

The post had quite a few quality entries, like DoctorChimRichalds’s suggestion that Weezy should have pleaded “the Fizzifth.” Dr. Richalds was good, but not quite the best this week. What?

But we do have a Comment of the Week winner. Yeaaaaaah! Shall we see who it is? OKAY!

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Lil Wayne Is Quite Possibly the Best Deponent of All Time

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Depositions usually aren’t very exciting, but every now and then, you get a gem that’s worthy of public fanfare from the legal world. Take, for example, a deposition that we came across last year, in which a lawyer asked the deponent whether his “jurisprudential hymen [was] being ruptured.”

Today, we’ve got some deposition fun for you with the assistance of rap artist Lil Wayne, and it turns out that he’s just as entertaining in a legal setting as he is on stage — and by “entertaining,” we mean he acted like a complete tool. He’s currently suing Quincy Jones III over a documentary about his life, claiming that he was portrayed in a “scandalous” manner.

Let’s check out the clips from his leaked deposition….

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An Update on the Elizabeth Warren Law License Controversy

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No, Professor Jacobson, you won’t be getting her scalp.

Yesterday we mentioned the latest issue to arise in the contentious Massachusetts Senate race between incumbent Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren, the Harvard law professor turned political candidate and national celebrity. On his blog, Legal Insurrection, Professor William Jacobson of Cornell Law School effectively accused Warren of engaging in the unauthorized practice of law in Massachusetts.

Are the accusations valid? Let’s hear from some experts — and from you, through a pair of reader polls….

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Quote of the Day: Kanye West Keeps His ‘Love Locked Down’ — Except for That Sex Tape

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Kanye West

Be advised that the Screen Shot, as well as the Tape from which the screen shot was taken, were illegally obtained and believed to have been stolen from Mr. West’s computer. Your posting, advertising, marketing, displaying and otherwise disseminating the stolen Screen Shot and/or other materials on the tape constitute actionable violations of Mr. West’s rights of privacy and publicity.

– Lisa M. Buckley, a partner at Pryor Cashman, in a cease and desist letter written on behalf of her client, Kanye West, with regard to a leaked sex tape featuring the rapper and a Kim Kardashian look-alike.

(Let’s check out the full cease and desist letter, shall we?)

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