Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Help Me Drudge Report Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgOh goodness. And you thought Paris Hilton was troubled. From the AP:

Lindsay Lohan, who just finished a second stint in rehab for substance abuse treatment, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Tuesday, authorities said.

Lohan, who is already facing a drunken driving charge in Beverly Hills, was pulled over near the Santa Monica Police Department after authorities spotted her car chasing another vehicle…..

Authorities conducted a field sobriety test and then transported Lohan to the police department. The 21-year-old actress was booked on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine, among other charges, [Sgt. Shane] Talbot said.

Police found cocaine in one of her pants pockets during a pre-booking search, Talbot said.

Summer associates can get pretty wild, especially after they’ve had a few drinks. But Lolita ain’t got nothing on LiLo.
Law-and-economics types will appreciate this analysis, from Perez Hilton:

This could ruin Lindsay’s career! NO ONE is going to want to work with her now. And IF they do hire her, Lohan will most likely be forced to pay for her own insurance on films, which will be VERY COSTLY.

See, the market IS efficient! Even the market in alcoholic, coke-addicted young strumpets.
Lohan in Car Chase [TMZ.com]
It Was Cocaine!!!!!! [PerezHilton.com]
Lohan Booked on Suspicion of DUI [Associated Press]
Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI, Again [ABC7.com via Drudge Report]

bar exam failures famous failed bar exam Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg
Yesterday we wrote about Paulina Bandy, that poor creature who failed the California bar exam thirteen times, before finally passing it on try #14. Her story seems to have freaked out some of you who are sitting for the bar exam later this month next week.

Relax. Take a deep breath. You won’t wind up in a 365-square-foot shack in your mom’s backyard. We think.

Chances are, you will pass. And even if you fail the bar once or twice, you’re still not on your way towards Paulina Bandy-dom.

As it turns out, a number of well-known individuals — some famous for their accomplishments in law, and others for different reasons — didn’t pass the bar on the first (or even second) try.

To get the ball rolling, here’s a short list of a few bar exam failures. Check it out, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “The Bar Exam: A List of Famous Failures”

From Vulture / NYM:

Seventies power-pop band the Rubinoos sues Avril Lavigne, claiming her cheerleader-rock song “Girlfriend” sounds like their 1978 track “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend.” Curiously, neither Toni Basil nor the Ramones, both of whom the song gloriously does rip off, are party to the suit.

Wondering if the Rubinoos’ suit has merit? You be the judge:

In our opinion, other than the “hey hey you you” part — words that, of course, appear in 27 percent of all pop songs — we don’t think the two works sound that similar. But that’s just our opinion.
Avril Lavigne’s Music Sounds Likes Other People’s Music [Vulture / New York Magazine]
Seventies Band Sues Lavigne Over ‘Girlfriend’ [Billboard.com]
AVRIL LAVIGNE GETS SUED! SONG COMPARISON! [YouTube]

Madonna at Supreme Court SCOTUS Aisha Goodison Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgIn addition to handing down some big opinions, yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court declined to review a number of cases. As noted by SCOTUSblog’s Lyle Denniston, the Court denied certiorari in a significant antitrust case, as well as a pair of test cases raising constitutional issues in the immigration context.
But the most important cert denial was surely Aisha v. Madonna, No. 06-1389. A blurb about this battle of the mono-monikered musicians, from a reader:

Why nothing about this crazy diva? Her case is discussed by Marty Lederman over at SCOTUSblog.

Aisha Goodison seems right up your alley. She’s more than a little nutty, “strong,” fearless, and with a bad attitude. (Gotta love the pictures of Madonna and Gwen Stefani on her website).

I glanced over her cert petition and she’s pro se. Does that mean she wrote her own complaint? If not, who is helping her out? Just how crazy is she?

Plenty crazy. More discussion, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Lawsuit of the Day: Aisha v. Madonna”

Angelina Jolie pic pics photo Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgWhy is Robert Offer our Lawyer of the Day? Because he’s taking bullets for his superhottie client, Angelina Jolie.
Chivalry is not dead! Even among people who bill by the hour.
(Also, any lawyer who is willing to describe himself as “bone-headed” to the New York Times scores points in our book.)
A Deal Too Far: Interviewers Balk at Jolie’s Terms [New York Times]
Managing the Media: Angelina Jolie’s Media Contracts [Gawker]
The Sloane Offer Partners [Variety]

OJ Simpson Paris Hilton Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPGAnd he’s coming out on top, you know you’ve hit rock bottom. From TMZ.com:

We now have quantifiable proof that it’s better to be O.J. Simpson than Paris Hilton. What is wrong with the world?

You can now buy t-shirts that read “L.A. Court Scorecard: O.J. 1, Paris 0″ from the Cafepress.com website. Some might call it ironic that O.J. got away with murder, while Paris is serving time for driving when she wasn’t supposed to.

You can purchase merchandise featuring the graphic at right by clicking here.
Paris Hilton, O.J. [CafePress.com]
It’s Good to Be O.J., Sucks to Be Paris [TMZ.com]

Paris Hilton 3 mugshot Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgSo what’s the latest news about our favorite celebrity heiress? We’re guessing you’re already familiar with the story about how she “was so terrified guards would snap a cell-phone picture of her on the toilet that she didn’t eat or drink for three days.”
The most recent update comes from the AP:

The parents of Paris Hilton didn’t have to wait long to visit their daughter Tuesday, raising more questions of whether the hotel heiress was receiving special treatment. The Hiltons breezed past some waiting in line for hours to see loved ones….

The visit angered some others who were waiting to see inmates. Shatani Alverson, 23, said she was hustled out of the visiting room at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility moments after her husband walked in because of the Hiltons. She was told to come back after lunch.

We’re guessing Paris was unsympathetic to the complaints of the little people. We can just imagine her saying, while gesturing grandly towards the vending machines, “Let them eat Tastykake.”
P.S. In case you’re curious, the final (and unsurprising) results of our Paris Hilton poll appear after the jump.
Hilton’s Parents Visit, Breeze Past Line [Associated Press]
Poo-hoo, she isn’t life of the potty [New York Daily News]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Mom! Mom! It’s Not Right (That You Get to Cut the Visitors’ Line)”

* Martha steps into the minefield of political incorrectness once more. [Racialicious; The Mercury]
* There’s nothing I like more than old-fashioned, non-partisan fun. Hill interns, this is your chance to make a buck from an illicit affair or two, without resorting to Jessica Cutler antics (because prostitution can tarnish even the best CV). [Taegan Goddard's Political Wire]
* You haven’t heard anything since they filed for separation, and you won’t hear anything now that they’ve filed for divorce. And that’s what makes them worth mentioning. (Plus, I have a total girl crush on Catherine Keener and just a regular crush on Dermot Mulroney.) [Yahoo! News]
* An ice cream man in 2007 is a different breed from his 1953 counterpart. (Although a co-worker once did this to me to drive home the point that he was lost without the former girlfriend who used to do his laundry.) [KOCO]

A friend of Paris Hilton, who saw the hotel heiress during her all-too-brief house arrest, had this to say about how Hilton was treated in jail:

“It’s so cruel what has happened to her. She wasn’t allowed to wax or use a moisturiser. Her skin is so dry right now.”

Judge Michael Sauer: Have you no sense of [evolving standards of] decency?
Paris banged up … again [The Sun - UK]
Roper v. Simmons [Legal Information Institute / Cornell Law School]
U.S. Constitution: Eighth Amendment [FindLaw]
Paris Hilton bird in cage caged bird anal herpes Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg

Paris Hilton 3 mugshot Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgApparently Judge Michael Sauer agreed with the 60 percent of ATL readers who viewed her release from prison as “a miscarriage of justice.” From TMZ.com, the authoritative source for all things Paris:

Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She’ll get credit for 5 days already served.

Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”

One witness described the scene as: Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy.

Hilton’s mother was later seen pacing the hallways, telling reporters, “I’m paralyzed right now.” Paris’ father Rick is still in the courtroom.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer made his ruling after a hearing that followed a tumultuous sequence in which Hilton was brought to court in a sheriff’s patrol car. Earlier, it seemed that she would only attend the hearing via telephone.

“The defendant is remanded to L.A. County jail,” Sauer said after an hourlong hearing. “The order is final and forthwith.”

Wearing a beige zippered sweater, Hilton crumpled into tears.

You go, girl — right back to the slammer. As for the anal herpes, good luck with that.
Hilton Ordered Back to Jail! [TMZ.com]
A crying Hilton is sent back to jail [Los Angeles Times]
Screaming Paris Hilton Sent Back to Jail [Associated Press via Washington Post]
Earlier: Paris Hilton’s Jail Break: What Do You Think?

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