* “I even got out of community service, suckers!” [AP via HuffPo]
* And somewhere, a torts professor is drafting his “false imprisonment” hypo for upcoming final exams. [Detroit Free Press]
* This is the problem with straight fashion designers. (Serious Note: Sexual violence is one of the few things I NEVER make light of, but I personally see this as a classic he-said/she-said, with a little statutory, which I consider — rightly or wrongly — malum prohibitum, thrown in for good measure.) [Yahoo! News]
* Train wrecks, on the other hand, are free-for-all’s: Lindsay Lohan’s dad is now a free man, and in the past, he’s been such an inspiration in helping her to lay off drugs and to cope with familial dysfunction that there’s no telling what he’s capable of as a redeemed man. [The Showbuzz]
* “I even got out of community service, suckers!” [AP via HuffPo]
It can make you go blind — AND it can cause you to be named as the defendant in a civil lawsuit:
(We love how “masturbation” appears in quotation marks. We realize it’s a quotation from the Complaint, but it reads as it were placed in scare-quotes — as if it were a less technical and more colloquial term, a la “spanking the monkey.”)
“A.I.” Contestant Accused of “Masturbating” in Suit [TMZ.com]
- Blogging, Celebrities, Deaths, Media and Journalism, Morning Docket, Naomi Campbell, Politics, Sentencing Law
* Is he a journalist? Well, he’s done the time, so let’s give him credit for the crime. [Washington Post via How Appealing]
* It’s for a slightly different reason this time, but the U.S. still self-righteously refuses to run for seat on the UN Human Rights Council. [Jurist]
* I’m not sure I’d even put a mop in her hand; this woman is dangerous. [CNN]
* Hagel to announce ’08 plans. [AP via Yahoo!]
* I’ve heard of someone getting “killed” in court, but it’s usually a metaphor. [WSJ Law Blog]
- Celebrities, Election Law, Morning Docket, Parties, Rap, SCOTUS, Sean Combs, Supreme Court, Violence, White-Collar Crime
* District Court can dismiss for forum non conveniens without first determining that it has personal jurisdiction. [U.S. Supreme Court (PDF)]
* No standing in Colorado Elections Clause case. [U.S. Supreme Court (PDF)]
* Supreme Court denies Ebbers appeal without comment. [CNN]
* Mo Money, Mo Lawsuits: Diddy sued for alleged assault at party. [AP via Yahoo!]
* This is in no way an admission that MTV is somehow partially responsible for your laziness and/or learning disabilities. [New York Daily News]
* More Heidi Fleiss-inspired antics! I keep forgetting this kind of thing is illegal — there should be a carve-out for the C-listed and below. [Los Angeles Times]
* This mom-of-the-year is kind of like a low-rent Joe Simpson, although we’re pretty sure Jessica isn’t faking. [MSN]
* The lurid nature of this trial may make the “sex, lies & videotape” qualifier okay, but that was, like, 18 years ago. Conversely, why do we remember Peter Gallagher only from The OC? [New York Times]
* Utah is that boring. [QuizLaw; Denver Post]
- Blackberry-Crackberry, Celebrities, Divorce Train Wrecks, Football, Romance and Dating, Sex, Weddings
In the past week or so, the romantic exploits (and misadventures) of lawyers and law students have been in the news. Here are a few noteworthy links:
1. ‘ABORT’ SHOCK IN GIANT DIVORCE [New York Post]
Football star Amani Toomer (at right), a wide receiver for the Giants, is divorcing his wife, Dr. Yola Dabrowski. The parties’ divorce filings are full of salacious allegations, but here’s what jumped out at us:
Dabrowski’s papers complain that Toomer: … * Sabotaged her dream of becoming a lawyer by stealing her computer and files, making it impossible to study for her law-school exams and leading to her getting an incomplete for the term.
If the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the way to a law student’s heart — or the way to break her heart, as the case may be — is through her papers.
[W]hen she didn’t want to have sex, Toomer acted “irrationally and outrageously” – once urinating on her clothes, and another time tossing her BlackBerry into the Hudson River.
Destroying your spouse’s Blackberry? Now you’ve thrown down the gauntlet. If The War of the Roses were updated for 2007, there would surely be a scene of Blackberry destruction.
2. Date Lab [Washington Post]
“Date Lab,” in which the Post sets up two people on a blind date and then writes it up, is one of our favorite guilty pleasures. This recent date, involving Pillsbury Winthrop associate Damon Colbert (at right), actually went fairly well. (The column is more fun when the dates are disasters.)
But the WaPo reader comments — “the two shallowest people in all of Creation,” “this Date Lab made me unbearably sad” — are kinda vicious. And we thought ATL commenters were harsh….
3. Page Six: Ready To Wed [New York Post]
Gillian Hearst Engaged! [Socialite Rank]
From Page Six:
LOVE is in the air for Hearst heir Gillian Hearst-Shaw and her yearlong boyfriend, Christian Simonds. Sources say the gorgeous brunette socialite and philanthropist was proposed to with “a blindingly huge diamond engagement ring” from Simonds. Her hubby-to-be, a mergers and acquisitions lawyer, popped the question last weekend, following a romantic sleigh ride for two in the Berkshires. Mazel tov!
Page Six doesn’t identify his firm, but as Socialite Rank points out, Christian Simonds is an associate in the New York office of Lowenstein Sandler. Next time you make a disparaging remark about the New York office of a New Jersey law firm, ask yourself: “If my firm is so much better, then why am I not marrying a beautiful media heiress?”
4. Wendi Adelson and Dan Markel [New York Times]
Happy Anniversary to Wendi Adelson and fellow legal blogger Dan Markel, of PrawfsBlawg fame!
- Anna Nicole Smith, Celebrities, Deaths, Drugs, Guantanamo Bay, Morning Docket, Murder, Racism, Sports
* Southern Poverty Law Center’s getting it done. [CNN]
* NLJ reports that Camp 6 at Gitmo shows little improvement for cleared prisoners. [Law.com]
* Bobby Brown has to stay downtown (until he throws down about nineteen thou’). [CNN]
* Barry Bonds won’t cooperate in steroids investigation. [Sportsline]
* Anna Nicole Smith’s mom appeals. [CNN]
* Maybe you read this over Sunday brunch. I was going to make a crack about barely educated sorority girls in schools I’ve never heard of in states I’ve barely heard of, but then I thought of this, or this, or this. You know who should shed some light on this? Tyra. [New York Times]
* As culturally valuable as Britney’s hair? [Yahoo News]
* Man was “more than” friends with Man’s Best Friend. (You also don’t need to explicitly define “cheating” to know he was also cheating on his girlfriend… although that’s the least of her concerns.) [Bay City Times]
* Because we’re not all Wiki fans. [Conservapedia via Discourse.net]
Yup, we watched the Academy Awards ceremony last night. We sat through the whole damn thing. As always, it was overlong. But at least we were struck by inspiration.
It’s only a matter of time before the Aaron Charney story gets turned into a Lifetime Original Movie. And when it does, we have a recommendation for who should play powerhouse partner Alexandra Korry:
Watching this video clip of Meryl Streep’s red carpet arrival last night makes the Korry-Streep resemblance even clearer. It’s all about the lank hair. Furthermore, their heads have exactly the same oval shape, and their facial features are very similar.
To be sure, Streep usually sticks to feature-film work, rather than made-for-TV movies. But she has done SOME television work over the years, for which she has received Emmy and Golden Globe Awards. And wouldn’t the award-fodder role of Alexandra Korry be juicy enough to tempt Meryl over to the small screen?
(No, it’s NOT too similar to Streep’s Oscar-nominated turn as Miranda Priestly in The Devil Wears Prada. Miranda was icy, feminine, feline. In contrast, Alexandra Korry’s professional success rests upon her acting manly and tough, “like one of the boys.” According to Bob Kolker’s NYM article, Korry is regarded as “brutal” and “very profane.” Those are not adjectives one would apply to the quietly cruel Miranda Priestly.)
Oscar arrival: Meryl Streep [WFAA.com (video)]
Meryl Streep [IMDb]
Alexandra D. Korry bio [Sullivan & Cromwell]
We’ve always admired Harvard Law School. It struck us as a place of high seriousness. It didn’t succumb to the latest trends in legal education. It didn’t train philsopher-kings; it trained LAWYERS, dammit.
So what if its students were kinda miserable? They got the best, most rigorous legal education money could buy. In short, HLS was bad-ass.
But recent events call into question our veneration for Harvard Law School. The Law School seems to be getting squishy on us. They have revamped their 1L curriculum, to place greater emphasis on touchy-feely topics like “international law.” And now we learn this (from an HLS tipster):
HLS is considering renaming the sections, previously assigned numbers (Sections 1 through 7), with actual names. Just when I think people can’t get more ridiculous…
See attached PDF for a Student Government survey. I like how they would consider naming sections after prominent donors!
Here’s our favorite question from the survey:
Our tipster suggested “porn stars, Care-Bears, and favorite sections of the MPC.”
Not bad; but we have two more ideas. Section names should facilitate healthy inter-section rivalry, as well as “trash talking.” Here are our suggestions:
1. Feeder Judges: You might as well name the sections after things HLS students actually care about. That’s why naming them after random dead alumni (see option F) is so stupid. Who wants to be in the “Jonathan Witherspoon IV Section”?
Naming sections after feeder judges makes much more sense. It lends itself well to assertions of team spirit:
“I’m in the Boudin section. Judge Boudin sent all of his clerks to the Court this Term. He rules!!!”
“I’m in the Kozinski section. He sent all his clerks to the Court too. And the Ninth Circuit is way cooler than the First Circuit — what a backwater!”
2. Celebrities With Legal Problems: The beauty of this section-naming scheme is that the category is continually expanding. The well never runs dry. And it’s terribly fun. Who wouldn’t want to be in the “O.J. Simpson Section” or the “Winona Ryder Section”?
Once again, there’s excellent trash-talking potential:
“We’re in the Michael Jackson Section. We’re the Kings of Pop — and of Torts!”
“Too bad you can’t keep your hands off teenage boys. We’re the Anna Nicole Smith section. Sure, we sleep around. But at least the people we sleep with have undergone puberty!”
If you’d like to see the HLS Student Government survey, we reprint it in full after the jump.