Celebrities

OJ Simpson Paris Hilton Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPGAnd he’s coming out on top, you know you’ve hit rock bottom. From TMZ.com:

We now have quantifiable proof that it’s better to be O.J. Simpson than Paris Hilton. What is wrong with the world?

You can now buy t-shirts that read “L.A. Court Scorecard: O.J. 1, Paris 0″ from the Cafepress.com website. Some might call it ironic that O.J. got away with murder, while Paris is serving time for driving when she wasn’t supposed to.

You can purchase merchandise featuring the graphic at right by clicking here.
Paris Hilton, O.J. [CafePress.com]
It’s Good to Be O.J., Sucks to Be Paris [TMZ.com]

Paris Hilton 3 mugshot Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgSo what’s the latest news about our favorite celebrity heiress? We’re guessing you’re already familiar with the story about how she “was so terrified guards would snap a cell-phone picture of her on the toilet that she didn’t eat or drink for three days.”
The most recent update comes from the AP:

The parents of Paris Hilton didn’t have to wait long to visit their daughter Tuesday, raising more questions of whether the hotel heiress was receiving special treatment. The Hiltons breezed past some waiting in line for hours to see loved ones….

The visit angered some others who were waiting to see inmates. Shatani Alverson, 23, said she was hustled out of the visiting room at the Twin Towers Correctional Facility moments after her husband walked in because of the Hiltons. She was told to come back after lunch.

We’re guessing Paris was unsympathetic to the complaints of the little people. We can just imagine her saying, while gesturing grandly towards the vending machines, “Let them eat Tastykake.”
P.S. In case you’re curious, the final (and unsurprising) results of our Paris Hilton poll appear after the jump.
Hilton’s Parents Visit, Breeze Past Line [Associated Press]
Poo-hoo, she isn’t life of the potty [New York Daily News]

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Mom! Mom! It’s Not Right (That You Get to Cut the Visitors’ Line)”

* Martha steps into the minefield of political incorrectness once more. [Racialicious; The Mercury]
* There’s nothing I like more than old-fashioned, non-partisan fun. Hill interns, this is your chance to make a buck from an illicit affair or two, without resorting to Jessica Cutler antics (because prostitution can tarnish even the best CV). [Taegan Goddard's Political Wire]
* You haven’t heard anything since they filed for separation, and you won’t hear anything now that they’ve filed for divorce. And that’s what makes them worth mentioning. (Plus, I have a total girl crush on Catherine Keener and just a regular crush on Dermot Mulroney.) [Yahoo! News]
* An ice cream man in 2007 is a different breed from his 1953 counterpart. (Although a co-worker once did this to me to drive home the point that he was lost without the former girlfriend who used to do his laundry.) [KOCO]

A friend of Paris Hilton, who saw the hotel heiress during her all-too-brief house arrest, had this to say about how Hilton was treated in jail:

“It’s so cruel what has happened to her. She wasn’t allowed to wax or use a moisturiser. Her skin is so dry right now.”

Judge Michael Sauer: Have you no sense of [evolving standards of] decency?
Paris banged up … again [The Sun - UK]
Roper v. Simmons [Legal Information Institute / Cornell Law School]
U.S. Constitution: Eighth Amendment [FindLaw]
Paris Hilton bird in cage caged bird anal herpes Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpg

Paris Hilton 3 mugshot Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgApparently Judge Michael Sauer agreed with the 60 percent of ATL readers who viewed her release from prison as “a miscarriage of justice.” From TMZ.com, the authoritative source for all things Paris:

Paris Hilton was just ordered back to jail in Lynwood to serve out the remainder of her sentence! She’ll get credit for 5 days already served.

Hilton left the courtoom in tears, screaming, “Mom, Mom, Mom.”

One witness described the scene as: Paris was “physically escorted” out of the courtroom by a female deputy.

Hilton’s mother was later seen pacing the hallways, telling reporters, “I’m paralyzed right now.” Paris’ father Rick is still in the courtroom.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer made his ruling after a hearing that followed a tumultuous sequence in which Hilton was brought to court in a sheriff’s patrol car. Earlier, it seemed that she would only attend the hearing via telephone.

“The defendant is remanded to L.A. County jail,” Sauer said after an hourlong hearing. “The order is final and forthwith.”

Wearing a beige zippered sweater, Hilton crumpled into tears.

You go, girl — right back to the slammer. As for the anal herpes, good luck with that.
Hilton Ordered Back to Jail! [TMZ.com]
A crying Hilton is sent back to jail [Los Angeles Times]
Screaming Paris Hilton Sent Back to Jail [Associated Press via Washington Post]
Earlier: Paris Hilton’s Jail Break: What Do You Think?

If you’ve been away from the news cycle today, read our two prior posts.
If you’re up to speed on this story, go ahead and vote:

Paris Hilton 3 rash anal herpes Abovethelaw anal herpes Above the Law blog.JPGOn the subject of Paris Hilton’s recent release from jail, Entertainment Tonight reports:

L.A. County Sheriff Spokesperson STEVE WHITMORE told reporters that due to “medical issues,” the heiress had been “reassigned” at about 2:00 a.m. Thursday and would finish out her sentence on house arrest….

Sources close to the Hilton family tell ET the medical reason was actually a rash she developed on her body.

Mention of a bodily rash provides support for this ATL reader comment:

My friend’s brother (who works with [Sheriff Lee] Baca’s assistant sheriffs) told me that Paris was released due to a severe, “stress-induced” herpes outbreak. He also said that he heard that the blisters had apparently spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention. Thus, after taking into account jail overcrowding, the increasing liability that Paris presents, and Paris’s lesions, all things weighed in favor of her being put on home confinement.

Was a case of anal herpes a “Get Out of Jail Free” card for Paris Hilton?
More discussion, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Paris Hilton: Her Rash Release from Prison?”

Paris Hilton 2 mugshot New York Post front page Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.JPGDid the jailhouse toiletries fall short of the Hilton family’s high standards? Probably.
But that’s not why Paris Hilton was just granted early release from jail (as first reported by TMZ.com). Due to medical reasons, Hilton will instead serve 40 days of house arrest. She’s being fitted for Martha Stewart’s favorite accessory: an ankle bracelet.
The tabloids have been having a field day with the “Paris Goes to Jail” story. See, e.g., the New York Post front page at right. But it looks like their fun has been cut short.
A press conference by the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department is now underway. More details to come.
Paris Hilton — Free Woman [TMZ.com]
Cops: Paris Under House Arrest [TMZ.com]
Paris Bawls in Jail [New York Post]

Lindsay Lohan Ann Banaszewski Ann S Banaszewski Justice Antonin Scalia drunk driver drunk driving Above the Law.JPGTime for some celebrity DWI news. It’s like your morning coffee: you can’t get your day started without it.
First, troubled underage starlet Lindsay Lohan (near right) — who is back in rehab, after a drunk driving arrest over the Memorial Day weekend — allegedly suffers from OxyContin addiction, according to her estranged dad, Michael Lohan.
On the one hand, Lohan’s felonious father may not be the most reliable source. But on the other hand, we’re talking about Lindsay Lohan.
Second, an update on someone whose misadventures we have followed quite closely in these pages: Ann Banaszewski (far right), daughter of Justice Antonin Scalia (far right). From the Chicago Tribune:

A daughter of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia pleaded guilty Wednesday to drunken driving in Wheaton in February….

Banaszewski accepted a plea agreement with prosecutors and was sentenced by DuPage County Judge Daniel Guerin to 18 months of court supervision. She also was ordered to perform 140 hours of public service (of which 40 hours must be beneficial to children), attend counseling and treatment sessions, attend a victim-impact panel and pay $1,500 in fines and fees.

Will his daughter’s brush with the law turn the crustily conservative Nino into a bleeding heart for criminal defendants? Stay tuned.
(Yes, we know — Justice Scalia has handed down numerous rulings favorable to criminal defendants. E.g., Blakely v. Washington; Crawford v. Washington. But he’s far from the most pro-defendant member of the Court.)
Lohan’s Dad: Lindsay Hooked on OxyContin [Associated Press]
Justice’s daughter pleads guilty to DUI [Chicago Tribune]
Scalia’s daughter pleads guilty to drunken driving [Journal-Gazette / Times-Courier]
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Ann Banaszewski (scroll down)

Faith George Michael Abovethelaw Above the Law legal blog.jpg

Well they guess it would be nice
If they could touch his body…

And soon they may have their chance.
George Michael Faces Jail: Michael ‘was on drugs’ court told [BBC News via Drudge Report]

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