Celebrities

Gwyneth Paltrow

* After forcing Solicitor General Donald Verrilli to acknowledge that the Affordable Care Act could force for-profit corporations to pay for employees’ abortions, Chief Justice John Roberts seemed rather pleased with himself. [New York Times]

* Sidley Austin just hired a major M&A heavy hitter away from General Electric’s legal department. Congratulations to Chris Barbuto. We suppose he can make it rain as outside counsel now. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Because there’s no time too soon for an ambulance airplane chaser, the beginnings of the first lawsuit lodged against Malaysian Air after Flight 370’s probable crash was filed in court yesterday. [Bloomberg]

* UC Hastings and Iowa are the latest law schools to offer 3+3 accelerated degree programs. What a great recruiting tool for Iowa, which recently saw enrollment levels plunge by 40 percent. [National Law Journal]

* One month after the internet exploded with rumors of Gwyneth Paltrow having an affair with entertainment lawyer Kevin Yorn, the star announced her split from her husband. Coincidence? [New York Daily News]

Judge Joe Brown

Judge Joe Brown went nuts according to TMZ after he appeared in juvenile court for a case that the clerk couldn’t find. On a personal note, it is a little frustrating when you are in court on a case that is on the calendar, that your notes say is on the calendar, your client is there, and the clerk says, “We can’t find the file.” You have to wait around for a break whereupon the clerk looks for the file and hopefully finds it.

That said, I’ve never lost my marbles over something like this. He must have been having a bad day, or maybe the pressure of being a has-been TV court judge finally got to him…

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Donald Trump, taking up Judge Jeffrey Streitfeld on an offer to borrow the judicial eyeglasses.

Real estate magnate Donald Trump has had many brushes for his hair with the law over the years. Sometimes the law has caused him headaches or embarrassment; he’s not as much of a legal eagle as his big sister, Judge Maryanne Trump Barry (3d Cir.). On other occasions, though, he has enjoyed the last laugh.

In his latest courtroom appearance, Trump schlepped down to Florida, testified as a trial witness, and prevailed. But now the losing party in that case has filed a motion for new trial, arguing that the presiding judge fawned over the Donald in front of the jury and, in doing so, “transgressed basic principles of impartiality and fairness.”

Let’s learn more about this fun motion….

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Chris Brown

Dare I say it, I am starting to feel bad for Chris Brown!   After breaking internal rules at his court-ordered rehab program (to treat his anger problem addiction), Chris Brown was kicked out of the program thereby violating the terms and conditions of probation.  He was hauled off by sheriff’s deputies to the county jail.  

His mea culpas in the rehab program? 1) Violating the rule that he must stay 2 feet away from female rehabers (he was seen touching a woman’s arm and elbow); 2) he left the facility for an unauthorized outing; and 3) he refused a drug test (which later came up negative) upon his return.  Really?  

Because Chris Brown touched a woman’s arm we now must use our tax dollars to incarcerate him in an over-crowded jail almost five years after he admitted to beating Rihanna (the offense for which he is on felony probation).  Chris Brown is just another example of how felony probation is much like herpes, the gift that keeps on giving.  It is much harder than it sounds to successfully complete felony probation…

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Miley Cyrus

* Dewey feel bad for Zach Warren? Totally. In the saddest revelation about his indictment, it seems D&L’s head honchos “had trouble remembering who [he] was” before arraignment. [New York Times]

* If you’re interested in going to law school (and if you want to pay off your loans), you’ll want to see the law schools where you’ll make the most bank after graduating. We’ll have more on this later. [Forbes]

* Fred Phelps Sr., founder of the Westboro Baptist Church, is near death. Not for nothing, but it would probably be fitting if people picketed his funeral in SCOTUS-approved protest. [Kansas City Star]

* The widow of Dustin Friedland, the attorney who was shot and killed during the Short Hills mall carjacking, has filed a wrongful death suit against the shopping venue’s owners. [Star-Ledger]

* Elizabeth Halverson, the former judge who rolled into our lives on a motorized scooter and was removed from the bench in 2008 for her courtroom antics, died earlier this month. RIP. [Las Vegas Review-Journal]

* Miley Cyrus is being sued… over her tongue. A man who helped build her tongue slide (a prop, not a sex maneuver) was injured — he claims he wasn’t warned about the potential dangers involved. [USA Today]

Teresa and Joe Giudice

Teresa and Joe Giudice, famous for their roles on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, have entered guilty pleas in their federal bank fraud case.  Media outlets are reporting that Teresa faces 21 to 27 months and Joe is facing 37 to 46 months.

The plea agreement reached is not one with a sentence specified.  In reality, the sentencing range is a suggested sentence under the guidelines; the court is free to sentence them up to the maximum of 50 years. Of course, it is highly unlikely that either Joe or Teresa would be sentenced to 50 years.  My prediction is that Teresa gets probation and Joe gets two to three years.

But Joe has a bigger problem….

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Remember back in June when photographer Jeffrey Binion sued Justin Bieber for allegedly ordering one of his bodyguards to beat him up? Well, Justin Bieber’s videotaped deposition in that case has been leaked and it turns out he’s as much of an arrogant jerk as you expected. He personally objects to questions, sneers at the deposing lawyer, and refuses to give straight answers to obvious questions.

But is he a more entertaining deponent than Lil Wayne?

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Johnny Weir

It is a private matter I do not wish to discuss.

– World bronze medalist Johnny Weir, in comments made outside of a New Jersey Municipal Court following his appearance before a judge on a domestic violence charge. Weir allegedly bit his husband Victor Voronov’s ear one month before the Winter Games in Sochi. Voronov is a graduate of Georgetown Law. The charge was ultimately dismissed, but not before a judge told Weir what a “nice hairdo” he had.

* It’s apparently time to pay your fair share. Obama wants to close the pesky tax loophole that’s allowed rich professionals, like lawyers, to get away with being rich professionals for so long. [Legal Times]

* On this episode of As the Weil Turns, we take a look at the firm’s tumbling gross revenue, profits per partner, revenue per lawyer, and headcount. Don’t worry, Weil’s just “repositioning.” [Am Law Daily]

* The American Bar Association released the dirt on 1L enrollment declines at law schools nationwide, and some schools got totally massacred. Pray yours wasn’t one of them. [National Law Journal]

* “[T]hey’d probably make the school year longer and bring the cost up for each year.” We sure hope these pre-law students aren’t right about the dubious cost factor behind the two-year law degree. [The Hoya]

* Who owns the copyright to the Oscar selfie? Does it belong to Ellen DeGeneres, or Bradley Cooper? If you want to get technical about it (and you do, you’re a lawyer), check out this legal round-up. [The Wire]

The 86th annual Academy Awards ceremony is this Sunday. It may be amid reviewing stacks of documents, but you know you’re going to be watching — hardly anything else will be on television that night. What better way for lawyers to celebrate the occasion than to learn up on and study the best legal movies of all time?

Can you guess what the top 10 legal movies are? Do you know which ones had the most Oscar wins? Don’t worry, we’ll help you out with that. Keep reading to find out the answers to these questions…

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