Cellphones

Naomi Campbell: A Worse Boss Than Shanetta Cutlar?

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Naomi Campbell 2 Above the Law Legal Tabloid nude naked pics photos.GIFWe loooove successful, strong, African-American females. Like the Justice Department’s Shanetta Cutlar, who demands respect from everyone who works for her. Or supermodel Naomi Campbell, who similarly doesn’t take s*** from underlings — even if it requires hurling the occasional cellphone in their direction.
Here’s a report on the latest Naomi Campbell assault case. From the AP:

Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault Tuesday for hitting her maid with a cell phone over a pair of missing jeans.

“I threw a cell phone in the apartment. The cell phone hit Ana,” Campbell told Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Robert Mandelbaum. “This was an accident because I did not intend to hit her.”

Perjury, anyone? Eh, whatever.

Campbell, 36, hit Ana Scolavino in the back of the head with the phone in the supermodel’s Manhattan apartment last March. Scolavino was treated for a head injury.

In exchange for her guilty plea, Campbell must pay Scolavino’s medical expenses of $363, do five days of community service and attend a two-day anger management program.

Community service? Here’s our suggestion. Place Naomi Campbell inside a dunking booth. For a fee, a player gets to throw a cell phone at a target. If the cell phone hits the target, SPLASH! Into the water she goes.
Proceeds from the Naomi Campbell Dunk Tank will go to an appropriate charity (e.g., an organization for battered women). Great idea, eh?
Naomi Campbell Pleads Guilty to Assault [Associated Press]
Earlier: Naomi Campbell: Supermodel or “Superbigot”?

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Matt Drudge Is Too Funny

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Drudge Report Hillary Clinton Hillary Rodham Clinton.JPG
(Yes, politics may lie slightly beyond the legal beat — but not by much. Senatrix Hillary Clinton is, of course, a lawyer by training. And if elected president, she’d probably get to appoint at least two Supreme Court justices. So we think we’ve established an adequate topical nexus for posting this amusing screenshot.)
Clinton Reaches Out to Iowa, N.H. Dems [Associated Press via Drudge Report]

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Naomi Campbell Must Be Stopped

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naomi campbell model assault.jpgWe love supermodels around here. Based on their fabulosity, we’d let them get away with murder.
Okay, not literally — which is why something must be done about Naomi Campbell.
Past brushes with the law have not deterred the ebony-skinned beauty. She has moved beyond the point of being entertaining Page Six fodder; she now poses a danger to public safety. The latest news:

Supermodel Naomi Campbell has been released on bail after being arrested in London on suspicion of assault….

Campbell was arrested yesterday afternoon after a woman walked into a central London police station and made an allegation of assault.

The Sun newspaper reported that Campbell attacked her drug counsellor. The paper claimed the therapist made a complaint after she was “scratched all over her face” by the catwalk model.

A spokesman for Campbell said he believed there had been a “misunderstanding.”

Ah, another “misunderstanding” — like this one:

Campbell is subject to to an ongoing assault case in New York. She is alleged to have thrown a mobile phone at her housekeeper’s head in a row at her Manhattan apartment. She failed to turn up to a hearing in September and the case was adjourned until November 15.

This is actually the ninth assault allegation against Campbell in eight years.
ATL public service announcement: If you see Naomi Campbell walking down the street, turn the other way — and RUN.
Supermodel Is Arrested [Sky News]
Naomi Campbell Said Questioned by Police [Associated Press]

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Morning Docket: 09.29.06

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* Senate approves broad new rules to try detainees. [New York Times; Bashman linkwrap]
* Senate House grandstands over Hewlett-Packard as most witnesses take Fifth; libertarians celebrate that time wasted is time not spent passing new appropriations. [New York Times; WaPo]
* Verizon Wireless piles on against H-P. [WSJ Law Blog]
* Observers suggest Supreme Court cases over abortion might be contentious. You think? [Legal Times]
* Dozen Iraqi journalists arrested under new law against criticism of government. See? They’re already following in our footsteps up to the Alien and Sedition Acts! [New York Times]
* Belgium rules sifting of bank data illegal. [WaPo]
* California court hearing testimony over how many angels can dance on the pinhead of an anesthesized Death Row inmate. [Bashman linkwrap]
* Louisiana appellate court strikes down med-mal damages cap for failure to index to inflation, providing another excuse for doctors not to return to post-Katrina New Orleans. [Point of Law]
* New York Times writes thumbsucker on the Pirro marriage. [New York Times]

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Judge of the Day: Diane Boswell

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Diane Boswell Judge Diane Boswell judicial diva cellphone cell phone Above the Law blog.jpgInappropriate cell phone use — we’ve seen them used during wedding ceremonies — has gotten out of control. So it’s great to see a tough-minded jurist take a stand against this growing problem:

A judge detained and questioned a row of spectators when a cell phone rang for a third time in her courtroom, later ordering two people to serve community service for contempt of court.

When no one admitted having the ringing phones Wednesday, Lake County Criminal Court Judge Diane Boswell told all five people in the row to sit in chairs reserved for jail inmates. They stayed there for more than an hour until the morning court call ended.

Boswell found three people in contempt of court because they initially refused to say who had the ringing phones.

Ah yes — a time-honored technique for disciplining second-graders. But if people are going to act like discourteous morons, we can’t fault Judge Boswell for treating them as such.
Judge Detains Five Over Ringing Phones [Associated Press]

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Non-Sequiturs: 8.3.06

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* Are lawyers really this superstitious? Or is a trial just an excuse to go on a sugar binge and get all liquored up? [WSJ Law Blog]
* Heh, looks like there’s another “backdating scandal” happening out on the West Coast. [The Recorder]
* Extreme Makeover: Federal Courthouse Edition. [Washington Post]
* It’s not just meant for movie theaters. That Nokia ring tone may be coming to a courtroom near you. [New York Law Journal]
* Oh Claude, why didn’t you try the whole “insanity” thing? If it worked for Andrea Yates, it might have worked for you. [Associated Press]
* We’re impressed by The Recorder’s ability to cram bad puns on Fish & Richardson into its title and lede. We count two and a half, since “sticks” sorta conjures up images of Mrs. Paul’s. [The Recorder]
* “Baker & McKenzie, be on alert: henceforth, Boing Boing will be actively monitoring your website to identify dumbass activity and will, if necessary, take appropriate action to point out instances of wasting clients’ money by sending out unnecessary and obnoxious warning letters.” [The American Lawyer; Boing Boing]

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