So, what did the judge have for breakfast? We may know the answer, at least in the case of Justice Clarence Thomas. Check out this clever project, reported in Radar:

In the late '90s, pop-culture historian Bill Geerhart had a little too much time on his hands and a surfeit of stamps. So, for his own entertainment, the then-unemployed thirtysomething launched a letter-writing campaign to some of the most powerful and infamous figures in the country, posing as a curious 10-year-old named Billy.

To his surprise, replies soon started pouring in. Everyone from Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld (on tree-fort diplomacy) to Oprah Winfrey, Mister Rogers, Janet Reno, and members of the Supreme Court had words of wisdom for Billy.

To wit, Justice Thomas. When "Billy" asked him for his favorite McDonald's food, CT responded: "I like the Egg McMuffin. Actually, I like almost everything there."

Perhaps that explains the post-SCOTUS weight gain of Justice Thomas (a former marathoner, as he recounts in his memoir, who was noticeably well-built at the time of his nomination to the Court). It seems that law firm associates aren't the only folks putting on the pounds.

The handwritten letter from "Billy," and Justice Thomas's response -- a typewritten letter, but with a handwritten note at the bottom confessing a weakness for McDonald's fare -- are pretty cool to look at. Check them out by clicking here.

The Billy Letters: Introduction [Radar]
The Billy Letters: Justice Clarence Thomas [Radar]

For his yearbook page, one of our most quiet high school classmates selected this quotation, by Martin Fraquhar Tupper: "Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."

Justice Clarence Thomas concurs. As reported by the AP, "[t]wo years and 142 cases have passed since Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas last spoke up at oral arguments."

So what if the "time[]" of CT's "well-timed silence" has dragged on for two years? Holly Hunter was mute for two hours in The Piano -- and she snagged herself an Oscar!

Thomas: No Questions in 2 Years [AP]

Our latest legal celebrity sighting: Justice Antonin Scalia, spotted at Georgetown University Law Center. He is believed to have been at GULC to speak to a con law class.

Of the current justices on the Supreme Court, Justice Scalia clearly inspires the greatest amount of fanatical devotion. How many other justices have their own fansite?

(Okay, Justice Thomas has one too. And with his new, bestselling memoir, My Grandfather's Son, he's definitely building a fan base. But we still think that Justice Scalia has the most groupies of any member of the SCOTUS.)

And how many other justices are asked to sign students' laptop computers? This student, who had his laptop autographed by AS, was proudly displaying his computer to his classmates, saying that he felt Scalia had "blessed" his laptop for the upcoming exams.

With such a large and devoted following, we have a feeling that Justice Scalia's forthcoming book -- Making Your Case: The Art of Persuading Judges, a guide to persuasive legal writing and oral advocacy, which he's writing together with legendary legal writing teacher Bryan Garner -- will sell pretty well too.

Scalia to Join Supreme Court Book Club [Legal Times]

We now yield the floor to Laurie Lin. Who better to report on one of the year's biggest social events than the writer of Legal Eagle Wedding Watch? Over to you, Laurie.

****************
Ambition and Old Spice wafted sweetly through the air last night at the Federalist Society's 25th Anniversary Gala at Union Station -- a kind of right-wing Golden Globes. Nearly two thousand G-ed up conservative lawyers packed the main hall to hear President George W. Bush blast the Senate on judicial confirmations:

"Today, good men and women nominated to the federal bench are finding that inside the Beltway, too many interpret 'advise and consent' to mean 'search and destroy,'" Bush said.

Tickets to the black-tie affair were $250 -- actually $249, because there was a new $1 Madison coin at every place setting -- but that was a small price to pay to breathe the same oxygen as Ted Olson, Antonin Scalia, and Laura Ingraham.

More on the conservative legal fabulosity -- including pictures of the people who didn't hide when they saw us coming -- after the jump.

In October 2006, when LEWW reviewed her wedding, we wrote of Aileen McGrath (at right, with handsome hubby Jason Gillenwater):

Aileen is the President of the Harvard Law Review. HELLO!!! And this isn't mentioned in the announcement, but we've learned that she'll be clerking next year for Chief Judge Michael Boudin, of the First Circuit -- feeder judge extraordinaire.

So, Aileen, have you picked which Supreme Court justice you'd like to clerk for?

She has. We've learned that Aileen McGrath (Harvard 2007 / Boudin) has accepted an offer to clerk for Justice Stephen G. Breyer in October Term 2008. One source tells us: "[S]he’s universally recognized as brilliant. She was president of the law review and a Sears Prize winner."

We also hear that the fourth clerk to Justice Clarence Thomas for OT 2008 is a D.C. Circuit clerk (believed to be clerking for Judge David Sentelle). Will someone please give up the name?

Update: Her name is Claire Evans. She's a 2002 graduate of Rutgers School of Law - Camden, and she's the first alum of the school to score a SCOTUS clerkship. She clerked for Judge Jerome Simandle (D.N.J.) in 2003, and then for Michael Chertoff, back when he was still on the Third Circuit. Reports our source:

"Chertoff liked Claire so much that he took her to the Department of Homeland Security when he left the bench for Washington. Apparently, Claire continues to amaze and has now secured the most coveted of credentials -- a U.S. Supreme Court clerkship."

"[S]he holds the highest cumulative grade point average in the history of Rutgers School of Law - Camden. And, because of a grading change implemented the year after Claire graduated, it is now mathematically impossible for Claire's epic GPA to ever be topped."

Finally, expect more SCOTUS clerk hires in the near future. From an in-the-know tipster:

There's movement among the justices now. At least Alito, Roberts, Kennedy & Breyer have scheduled interviews in the last few days. Kennedy has scheduled pre-screen interviews, at least some of which are with Judge Kozinski.

The current tally of OT 2008 Supreme Court clerks, with Aileen McGrath and Claire Evans added, appears after the jump.

* Clarence Darrow? How cliche. Anywho, this guy is now a New Mexico Supreme Court justice. [Albuquerque Journal (free trial pass required) and New Mexico Business Weekly, via How Appealing]

* Step 1: Stop killing monks. [Jurist]

* Death for the death penalty? [New York Times]

* Latham lawyer DQ'ed in KPMG trial. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Thomas in the ATL. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Welcome. If you're at home, tune in to C-SPAN, which is rebroadcasting the recent book party for Justice Clarence Thomas. Justice Thomas's eagerly anticipated memoir, My Grandfather's Son, is now in bookstores -- and topping the bestseller charts (to the relief of his publisher, HarperCollins, which reportedly paid him a $1.5 million advance).

7:05: The party is being held at the elegant, red-brick Capitol Hill home of radio host and syndicated columnist Armstrong Williams. Expected to attend: 250 guests, including six Supreme Court justices, Vice President Dick Cheney, and several U.S. senators.

Armstrong Williams is interviewed. He explains that the party has been in the works since June. An overwhelming turnout is expected; more people were turned away than allowed to attend.

7:08: Justice Thomas climbs the stairs. When he enters the kitchen -- which is right at the top of the stairs, and thus (oddly) where everyone enters and exits -- he’s greeted by hearty applause.

Various guests hug him. One guest gushes over his 60 Minutes appearance. CT explains that CBS News made no promises about the nature of its coverage. Interesting. Considering how flattering that segment was, and how uncritical Steve Kroft was in his questioning of Justice Thomas, one might have suspected that Brangelina-type stipulations were in place.

More after the jump.

* U.C. Berkeley has settled on a new name for its law school. Check it out, it's quite brilliant. [Blogonaut]

(But we'll probably still conduct the reader poll mentioned here, just for the heck of it.)

* Strained attorney-client relations between Britney Spears and Anne Kiley? Apparently Brit has "trust issues" (in addition to that whole missing-panties problem). [OK! Magazine]

* Wow, this guy is quite a tool. Thankfully he's not a lawyer -- which you could infer from the facts that (1) he lives in Atlanta and (2) he brags about his compensation. [Gawker; follow-up here and here from DealBreaker]

* Judge of the Day. [St. Petersburg Times via Blogonaut]

* Exciting happenings this weekend: (1) the CSPAN rebroadcast of the Clarence Thomas book party, and (2) the nuptials of the Wall Street Journal's Peter Lattman. Congratulations and best wishes, PL! [WSJ Law Blog]

We have another recipient of this week's award, a graduate of Tier 3 Creighton:

Name: Patrick Strawbridge

Law School: Creighton University

Current Position: Associate, Preti Flaherty

Why He's Our Winner: Will clerk for Justice Clarence Thomas in OT 2008.

Our tipster had this to say about Strawbridge:

Your next non-top-tier law grad story should be on Patrick Strawbridge. He graduated from Creighton Univ. School of Law (tier three, though we're hoping that will change very soon) in 04 and will be clerking for Justice Thomas in 08. He's also a really, really nice guy. Beautiful wife and two daughters, I believe. The only bad thing anyone has to say about Patrick is that he looks a little like a young Montgomery Burns from The Simpsons. Oh, and he completely blew whatever curve there might have been in all the classes he took.

We include a picture of Burns not so much to agree with our tipster's assessment, but rather so that you can contrast and compare and draw your own conclusions. At any rate, congratulations to Strawbridge for breaking the Tier 3 mold and helping build Creighton's rep.

Incidentally, ATL broke the news of Strawbridge's hire by Thomas over a year ago here.

Patrick Strawbridge bio [Preti Flaherty]
Preti Flaherty Attorney Accepts Clerkship with Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas [Preti Flaherty]
Justice Thomas hires Patrick Strawbridge [Non-Sequiturs: 09.08.06]

* Humor for tax lawyers. [TaxProf Blog]

* Additional thoughts on the Judge Samuel Kent case, from Ilya Somin. [Volokh Conspiracy]

* Best magistrate judgeship ever? [San Jose Mercury News]

* Charlie Savage, whose book party we recently attended, is on the Colbert Report tonight. [Comedy Central]

* Also on television tonight (opposite the Colbert Report): Jan Crawford Greenburg interviews Justice Clarence Thomas, for Nightline. [ABC News]

Ed. notes: First, B. Clerker is unavailable this morning, so we're doing Morning Docket ourselves. Second, by the time you read this, we'll be attending this event. But we've arranged for previously written posts (like this one) to be published in our absence.

* John Edwards tries to put a noble spin on the financial desperation of his flailing campaign. Stick a fork in him; he's done. [WP; NYT]

* Jena One released on bail. [AP]

* Fourteen "high-value" terrorism suspects will be allowed to request lawyers. KSM will use his to sue Teleflex. [WP]

* In Pakistan, the Supreme Court gets involved in elections too. From the gallery: "Go, Musharraf, go!" [AP via WP]

* Set your TiVo, judicial groupies: Justice Thomas will be on 60 Minutes this Sunday. Thankfully, his interview -- in which he's rumored to call Anita Hill "a nappy-headed ho" -- doesn''t conflict with the season premiere of Desperate Housewives. [WSJ Law Blog]

If you've done any significant amount of appellate work, surely you've argued before one of THOSE judges. A judge who asks questions at oral argument just for the sake of asking questions. A jurist in love with the sound of his or her own voice. They can be entertaining or exasperating, depending upon whether you're in the gallery or at the podium.

But surely there must be a happy medium between showboat judges and Justice Clarence Thomas. From the AP:

Justice Clarence Thomas sat through 68 hours of oral arguments in the Supreme Court's current term without uttering a word.

That's saying something -- or not -- even for the taciturn justice.

In nearly 16 years on the Court, Thomas typically has asked questions a couple of times a term.... But the last time Thomas asked a question in court was Feb. 22, 2006, in a death penalty case out of South Carolina. A unanimous Court eventually broadened the ability of death penalty defendants to blame someone else for the crime.

Impressive. Is CT trying to set some sort of record?

A few more words -- more than you'll get out of Justice Thomas, at any rate -- after the jump.

* Texas legislature blocks mandatory HPV vaccine that fights cervical cancer. [MSNBC]

* Indian court issues warrant for Richard Gere due to public kiss. [CNN]

* Secretary Rice may assert executive privilege to avoid House subpoena. [MSNBC]

* Review of new Justice Thomas biography. [Newsweek]

* ALJ seeking $65 million in damages from his dry cleaners. [WSJ Law Blog]

No one has been quite sure why Justice Clarence Thomas has been recusing himself from Wachovia cases. The mystery is apparently solved; Thomas's son works at Wachovia Securities. From The Blog of Legal Times:

For the last two years, Justice Clarence Thomas has consistently recused himself in cases in which Wachovia Bank is a party -- most notably the landmark decision last week in Watters v. Wachovia Bank, a win for federal regulation of national bank subsidiaries. On Monday, Thomas stepped aside in the denial of review of yet another Wachovia case -- as well as in Turnbaugh v. National City Bank of Indiana, which did not involve Wachovia directly but raised the same issue at the Watters case.

Thomas's financial disclosure form reveals no ownership of Wachovia stock, so what gives? Thomas does not reveal his reasons for recusal in public, but we have just confirmed that Thomas's son Jamal works at Wachovia Securities, a part of Wachovia Corporation, at its headquarters in Richmond, Virginia. We haven't been able to learn his title or what area he works in, but that is almost certainly the explanation for his father's recusal.

In other Justice Thomas news, there is a new biography out entitled Supreme Discomfort: The Divided Soul of Clarence Thomas, by Kevin Merida and Michael Fletcher and published by Doubleday.

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales made a make-or-break appearance yesterday before the Senate Judiciary Committee. We covered his SJC testimony extensively. See here, here, and here.

If the Gonzales testimony were a Broadway show, today would be the morning after opening night, when the all-powerful Ben Brantley theatre critics weigh in. And based on the reviews (see links below), the Al Gonzales Show is the biggest disaster since Dracula the Musical. Will someone please drive a stake through the heart of AGAG's tenure?

As you know, we love drama, and we love surprises. We were secretly hoping that Gonzales -- who has never been a great public speaker (we've seen him) -- would deliver a bravura performance, one that would resurrect his career, leaving his critics stunned and speechless. We were looking for a home run, a tour de force like Clarence Thomas's Senate testimony, as described by Camille Paglia:

Make no mistake: it was not a White House conspiracy that saved this nomination. It was Clarence Thomas himself. After eight hours of Hill’s testimony, he was driven as low as any man could be. But step by step, with sober, measured phrases, he regained his position and turned the momentum against his accusers. It was one of the most powerful moments I have ever witnessed on television. Giving birth to himself, Thomas reenacted his own credo of self-made man.

But Alberto Gonzales is no Clarence Thomas -- and his days as AG are numbered. Gonzales isn't Spanish for "Souter"; it's Spanish for "toast."

Al, the President's Man [Slate.com]
On a Very Hot Seat With Little Cover and Less Support [New York Times]
Gonzales Rejects Call for His Ouster [Associated Press]
Senators Chastise Gonzales at Hearing [Washington Post]
Gonzales Says He Didn't Know Why Two Were Fired [Washington Post]
Roughed Up on the Hill [Washington Post]

We've been learning all sorts of things about Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg lately. Like her history as a high school cheerleader (which is, by the way, a perilous pursuit).

And now we learn her secret nickname at One First Street. From the Washington Examiner:

Anyone who has seen Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg knows that, although she’s big on law, she’s short on physical stature. Some of the employees who work around her in the Supreme Court Building find her diminutive size rather endearing and have taken to calling her Little Tweety Bird, a moniker they use only within their small circle.

But, lest you think that Ginsburg might rule such a nickname as “out of order,” that same circle insists that it’s a kind nickname, and one meant to reflect the notion that they feel very protective of Ginsburg.

Does that make Justice Scalia into Sylvester the Cat? Probably not. Justices Scalia and Ginsburg are close personal friends. They share a love of opera, and their families sometimes spend New Year's Eve together.

We nominate Justice Thomas for the role of Sylvester the Cat. In the 1947 cartoon Tweetie Pie, the Sylvester the Cat character went by the name "Thomas." MEOW!

A nickname for Ginsburg [Washington Examiner / Yeas and Nays]

Yeah, we know -- quelle surprise. Or, less delicately, "No s**t, Sherlock."

Anyway, here's the data, from a poll in which almost 1500 votes were tallied:

As one of you noted, the results basically form an inverted bell curve. Over 56 percent of respondents clustered at the extremes: "Very Unfavorable" (30.6 percent) was the most popular choice, followed by "Very Favorable" (25.9 percent).

Speaking of SCOTUS-related polls, there's still time left for you to vote on whether $200,000 bonuses for Supreme Court clerks are too high, too low, or just right. To vote, click here.

Earlier: Justice Thomas: The Sphinx Breaks His Silence

Justice Clarence Thomas is one of the quieter Supreme Court justices, at least at oral argument and in terms of media appearances. (He can be quite gregarious and charming in smaller settings.)

But Justice Thomas recently sat down for a chat with Business Week, which you can read here. The interview focuses on Justice Thomas's undergraduate education at Holy Cross and the effect that the Reverend John E. Brooks had upon CT as a mentor.

You can read excerpts at the WSJ Law Blog. We think the Law Blog hits the most important parts. But we'd add to the mix Justice Thomas's comments about his college classmate and friend, superstar defense lawyer Theodore Wells, now defending I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby:

Do you feel a sense of fraternity with the people you went to school with?

In a distant way, I absolutely do. We don't pal around. I absolutely admire Ted Wells and he and I are quite different. He's one of the finest lawyers in the United States. But you know what? It's not unpredictable. It's something that could have been predicted. Think of the people who took chances on him.

There was a wonderful fraternity—The Cross. When you were a crusader, you looked after each other—no matter where you were. That doesn't mean they would always be in a position to do you a favor. But they were there, just as a friend. I've never been turned away by a graduate of The Cross.

While we're on the subject of Justice Thomas, we're curious about your opinions of him. Please take our poll:

Listen up, Chief Justice Roberts! Here are two new arguments you can use to make the case for higher judicial pay.

1. From the Drudge Report:

According to Forbes, Judge Judy has a net worth of $95 million. She earns $25 million a year -- over 100 times the Chief Justice's salary.

Random aside: Contrary to rumor, and despite their shared irascibility, Judge Judy Sheindlin (at left) and Judge Shira Scheindlin (S.D.N.Y.; at right) are NOT related. As you can see, their last names are spelled differently. Despite this difference, Judge Scheindlin of the Southern District regularly receives telephone calls from people in search of televised justice.

2. Because of his low pay, Justice Clarence Thomas has been reduced to eating at ESPN Sports Zone.

(Yes, we know, CT got a seven-figure advance for his memoirs. But when you enjoy Corvettes, luxury RVs, and fine cigars, the money goes fast.)

Wonk'd: Barely Legal [Wonkette]
The Richest 20 Women In Entertainment: Judith "Judge Judy" Sheindlin (#13) [Forbes]

Who knew that jurisdiction in the patent context could cause judicial tempers to flare? In MedImmune, Inc. v. Genentech, Inc., an 8-1 decision handed down earlier this week, Justice Antonin Scalia and Justice Clarence Thomas -- who voted together almost 90 percent of the time last Term -- exchanged harsh words.

Justice Scalia wrote the opinion of the Court, holding that a patent licensee doesn't have to terminate or breach its license agreement before suing to challenge the patent's validity. Justice Thomas dissented, finding no standing to sue.

From a tipster:

Scalia's MedImmune opinion disembowels Thomas's dissenting arguments one by one. See footnote 6 ("This is demonstrably false."). Or footnote 9 ("It obviously is not.").

One of my kids takes Synagis (a very very expensive medication), which is why I read the decision. While patent law is not my practice area, Scalia's scorn is very clear and understandable to even a patent law layperson.

Now, Justice Thomas doesn't take all this lying down. He accuses Justice Scalia of "misread[ing] our precedent," "inappropriately rel[ying]" upon various cases, and committing "serious error."

But this match must be scored for Scalia. Some other goodies (all in the footnotes, of course, where judges get to be catty and not feel guilty about it):

Footnote 2: "The dissent contends that the question on which we granted certiorari does not reach the contract claim. We think otherwise."

Footnote 5 6: "[The dissent would be correct] only if the license required royalties on all products under the sun, and not just those that practice the patent. Of course it does not."

In other words: "CT, get your head out of your ass!"

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor used to take criticism from Justice Scalia rather personally. But she should have realized that with Justice Scalia, it's really not personal. To paraphrase what our mother told us in second grade, "Nino only picks on you 'cause he likes you."

P.S. To be sure, we suspect Justice Scalia doesn't think very highly of Justice O'Connor as a judicial thinker -- in contrast to, say, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, whom he can respect even when they disagree.

MedImmune, Inc. v. Genentech, Inc. [FindLaw]
Court rules on right to bring patent case [SCOTUSblog]