Stuff Lawyers Like
Inspired by "Stuff White People Like" I thought I'd start a new thread. Mainly because for whatever ungodly reason in the last 24 hours I've heard 3 different lawyers say "the proof is in the pudding." Why do lawyers love to say this? Why pudding? What's worse is that a 2 second Westlaw search revealed at least 400 separate cases that actually use a variation of the phrase. Thank god SCOTUS hasn't reverted to joining this crowd yet.
Anyone else have certain phrases/idiosyncracies of lawyers that you'd like to voice irritation over?
(22) Comments
what's more, the phrase is supposed to be "the proof of the pudding is in the eating" or some such.
I hate it when people say "at the end of the day." It seems as though it is the go to phrase when referring to the culmination of anything, e.g., "At the end of the day, everything works out."
Stuff Lawyers Like:
Law School Rankings
"on the other hand"
"I'll be out of pocket."
"It is what it is."
"Go blow smoke" or "Go pound sand"
Sports metaphors.
Lawyers like to say "one bite at the apple." Is this a bobbing for apples reference? Why not say "one bob at the apple."
Maybe "one load in the vag?"
"split the baby"
"more than one way to skin a cat" - I hate that one
Via email:
"Many thanks."
"to the extent that"
I've been on conference calls where I've kept track of how many times that was said. I wanted to do a shot for each one but I might have died of alcohol poisoning.
"It is hornbook law"
Weak insult to opposing counsel.
"This conclusion is bolstered by"
Stop bolstering the bloody thing and just support it already.
"Cart before the horse"
This is used correctly about as often as Haley's comet buzzes the tower.
"Have their cake and eat it too"
Duh, aren't we all?
"sees the grin without the cat"
That one is alright, but you have to cite to Carrol if you are going to use it.
"Objection, leading" while in deposition
I'm sorry, can we go off the record...Are you retarded counsel?
I agree with 4:05. I hate "at the end of the day..."
As in:
At the end of the day I'm just a legal whore who will do anything for a $160,000 a year salary.
That has nothing to do with the end of the day.. You're just a whore.
"play in the joints"
"all things being equal"
Gee, really? News flash: in most real world situations, deals/parties are rarely equals.
1) "Well-pled" (or "well-pleaded"; let's not open that can of worms), and "self-serving." They often come in pairs, as in:
"Defendant's attack on Plaintiff's well-pled Complaint with self-serving exhibits, in an attempt to obfuscate their egregious behavior."
2) "This is not the law." Any conclusory statement of apparent legal significance, so long as it is followed by absolutely no support or citation. Sheer force of conviction is sufficient support.
3) Abuse of the thesaurus. "I do not think that word means what you think it means, El Guapo."
- D. Ct. Clerk
stuff lawyers like:
1. pre-meetings
2. conference calls to set up pre-meetings
3. pre-calls to the conference call to set up the pre-meeting
4. drafting the agenda for the pre-call to the conference call to the pre-meeting to discuss the draft agenda for the actual meeting
5. having a name partner torpedo the agenda during the actual meeting by spending 40 minutes telling war stories
stuff lawyers like to say:
1. From MYYY perspective,
2. Let me circle back with you about that,
3. Let's talk offline after the meeting, and
4. I don't have any bandwith in my schedule for that.
All make me want to puke.
Stuff lawyers like:
www.criblaw.com - Criblaw Baby!!!
"run it up the flagpole"
Stuff lawyers like:
Day-times
Paper, lots of it
Nice Paper
Three-ring notebooks with lots of dividers
Lawyers really like http://www.stufflawyerslike.wordpress.com