This must be the most profanity-laced piece of transcript since Aaron Wider’s deposition. It’s the transcript from the sentencing hearing at which Assistant U.S. Attorney Carolyn Pokorny (E.D.N.Y.) was attacked by the defendant, before the court reporter and defense counsel tackled the assailant.

The transcript was prepared by Ron Tolkin, the court reporter involved in the incident, from an audio recording. Even the heroic Mr. Tolkin can’t simultaneously (1) kick the a** of a kid decades his junior, and (2) transcribe the proceedings for posterity.

Excerpts appear below. For the full transcript, see the link at the end of this post.

Update: Another choice excerpt, pointed out by several of you in the comments:

To read the full transcript, click here (PDF). If you do, the “press it in” discussion might be confusing (and sound completely filthy). An E.D.N.Y. source clarifies:

[“Pressing it in” refers] to the CSO, Marshalls and Deputy discussing how to activate the panic button. In the old E.D.N.Y. courthouse, you push in, but in the new one, you pull out.

Sentencing Hearing Transcript: United States v. Victor Wright (PDF)

Earlier: Lawyer of the Day: Harry Batchelder (And Court Reporter of the Day: Ron Tolkin)

The Empire State is sending all sorts of craziness our way lately. From the New York — no, not the Washington — Post:

A female federal prosecutor was viciously attacked by a hulking, razor-wielding drug dealer in a Brooklyn courtroom yesterday - and was saved when the thug’s 72-year-old lawyer and others tackled him.

“He was going to slash her throat,” said defense lawyer Harry Batchelder, who, along with a court reporter and two marshals, slammed Victor Wright, 27 [or 37?], to the ground and grabbed an inch-long razor blade from him.

Criminal defense lawyers are badass — even the septuagenarians. And don’t forget the court reporter:

“Why don’t you try me instead of her?” stenographer Ron Tolkin shouted at the cowardly criminal as he leaped on Wright, before the group fell to the ground in a heap.

Both the elderly lawyer and Tolkin, 60, are former military men who served in Vietnam.

And what about Judge Frederic Block (E.D.N.Y.) — what did he do? From Newsday:

Block immediately left the bench after the melee started, and more marshals rushed into the courtroom and helped subdue Wright, court officials said.

That’s too bad. This story would have been perfect with the addition of a black-robed avenger, whacking the criminal into submission with a gavel.

P.S. Despite our admiration for federal judges qua judges, if we needed to be defended against a knife-wielding lunatic, we’d go with a state court judge any day of the week. E.g., Judge Ira Robinson.

RAZOR MANIAC JUMPS FED PROSECUTOR IN COURT [New York Post]
Drug dealer attacks 2 in Brooklyn courtroom [New York Newsday]

Is trouble brewing in Paradise? And no, we’re not referring to the computer and wi-fi problems that are causing us to blog at a somewhat sluggish leisurely pace today, here in sunny Miami.

We now bring you a bit of local color, about procrastinating court reporters in south Florida. From the Miami Herald:

A Broward judge on Friday jailed a stenographer for contempt of court, saying she had failed for months to deliver a transcript needed to move forward with a defendant’s appeal.

Circuit Judge Charles Greene said he will release stenographer Ann Margaret Smith, 44, as soon as she completes the transcript.

He said he issued orders for Smith’s equipment and notes to be sent to the jail, and for the Broward Sheriff’s Office to provide a place for her to work.

This idea is not half-bad. Nothing solves a case of writer’s block — or typist’s block, as the case may be — like jail time.

(Biglaw shops employ this same tactic, except the “jails” are stocked with Aeron chairs, plush carpets, and contemporary art.)

P.S. It’s inconsistent with the lighthearted tone of this post, so we have omitted mention of it, but the underlying crime in this case is particularly heinous.

Broward Judge Jails Stenographer [Miami Herald]