Crime

Hurry up, you don’t have much time.

* A company has limited bathroom breaks to 6 minutes daily. Well, gutting pensions and suppressing wages hasn’t caused a revolution, why not let it ride? [Slate]

* A Florida town has imposed criminal sanctions against sagging pants. But Chief Justice Roberts told me racism was over in the South… [Fashionista]

* Who says crime doesn’t pay? [CBS News]

* Mayer Brown wants you to think the Supreme Court wasn’t tilted toward business interests this Term. Yes, we all know how Homer City turned out, but maybe it’s worth evaluating this based on how important the cases were. Is Petrella really equivalent to Noel Canning? [Mayer Brown]

* Not one, but two former Utah Attorneys General charged with corruption. [Deseret News]

* The CFPB brought suit against a debt collection lawsuit mill. A working CFPB. One more great thing we used to get from recess appointments. Thanks Breyer. [CFPB]

* Oh no. A law school tuition Kickstarter. [Kickstarter]

* New York tried to help homeowners facing foreclosure. Unfortunately, the law didn’t create a remedy if the banks refused to follow the law. Well, it was our fault for thinking Albany could do something right. [WiseLaw NY]

No one has getting indicted on their bucket list. No one sends word of their indictment to their alumni magazine.

That said, if you’re going to get indicted, it’s a whole lot better to be charged in state court in New York than in federal court anywhere else in the country, in at least one way.

The criminal case about the implosion of Dewey & LeBoeuf shows why. Last week, the folks charged in the Dewey meltdown filed a number of motions to dismiss the indictment. Everyone but Zachary Warren filed an omnibus motion to dismiss. Steve DiCarmine filed his own motion that was so, well, something that it contained Above the Law’s quote of the day. Zachary Warren filed a separate motion. There’s some great stuff in all of the pleadings about the government’s case.

What’s perhaps less obvious to those of us who do white-collar criminal defense but don’t normally practice in state court in New York is that, according to the law as set out in these papers, New York state is a magical Shangri-la of due process compared to federal court.

How?

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David Nicosia

Rosa Parks, move.

– David C. Nicosia, a white Chicago resident who argued with Judge Arnette Hubbard, a black jurist, after she walked by him while smoking a cigarette. Nicosia allegedly spit in Judge Hubbard’s face, and later slapped her in the face.

Nicosia was arrested and charged with four counts of aggravated battery and a hate crime. He is currently being held on $90,000 bail.


Stephen DiCarmine as the Annoying Orange

[T]he insatiable greed of some of those [equity] partners and the decision of some partners to jump ship when the going got rough were major causes of D&L’s collapse, not Steve DiCarmine’s actions.

– Attorney Austin V. Campriello of Bryan Cave, arguing on behalf of Stephen DiCarmine, Dewey & LeBoeuf’s former executive director, in a memorandum in support of his client’s motion to dismiss the indictment.

(Keep reading to see DiCarmine’s entertaining memorandum in full.)

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Dewey Defendant Suggests Prosecution’s Confusion As To ‘Very Basic Law School Stuff’”

* Congrats to William Voge, who was elected as the new chairman of Latham & Watkins. He succeeds Robert Dell in this position, who is one of the Am Law 100’s longest-serving leaders. [Am Law Daily]

* Dewey’s former execs filed a motion to dismiss their criminal charges, lamenting the fact that the Manhattan DA made them “scapegoats” for the total failure of their firm. [DealBook / New York Times]

* A judge banned the Washington Redskins name from his court, proclaiming that the offensively monikered team shall be known only as “the Washington Team” in documents submitted. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid thinks that if it were up to Judge Judy, House Speaker John Boehner’s “show trial” suit against President Obama would be thrown out in “half a second.” Well then. [ABC News]

* A Michigan attorney was arraigned yesterday on a felony charge of homicide-solicitation of murder. It seems that the hired hitman warned his target. He’s not getting a good Yelp review. [UpNorthLive.com]

* If you’re an international student with a foreign law degree trying to get a law degree in the U.S., why the hell would you waste your money on a J.D.? Just get an LL.M. [Law Admissions Lowdown / U.S. News]

* Oh baby8: Nadya Suleman (formally doing business as Octomom) pleaded no contest to welfare fraud charges after she failed to report income from all of her public appearances and porn videos. [Reuters]

John Farren and Mary Farren

When we last checked in on John Michael Farren, the former general counsel to Xerox and deputy White House counsel under President George W. Bush, things were not going well for him. Back in December, a jury found him liable for assault and battery against his former wife, Mary Margaret Farren. The jury awarded Mary Farren some $28.6 million in damages — an amount that reflected the brain injury and emotional trauma suffered by Mrs. Farren, who went from a lucrative job at Skadden to unemployment.

Criminal charges against Mike Farren remained pending at the time of the civil verdict. On Friday, the criminal case got resolved — and not in a manner favorable to Mike Farren….

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Ex-White House Lawyer And Fortune 500 General Counsel Gets Convicted Of Attempted Murder”

(c) Image by Juri H. Chinchilla.

Yesterday, Krispy Kreme celebrated its 77th birthday. The popular doughnut chain opened its doors on July 13, 1937, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. And what goes better with doughnuts than coffee? Cops. This week, On Remand looks back at Krispy Kreme’s history and a half-dozen cases involving doughnuts and cops, including the strange tale of a man who held a Krispy Kreme truck for ransom.

The Krispy Kreme we know today began in the 1930s when New Orleanian Joe LeBeau moved to Kentucky and sold his secret recipe and the name “Krispy Kreme” to a local, who hired his nephew, Vernon Rudolph, to sell the doughnuts door-to-door.  By 1937, Rudolph and a friend had moved to Winston-Salem and opened the first Krispy Kreme doughnut factory. Although the pair set out to sell doughnuts to grocery stores, a new marketing ploy quickly revealed itself:  human weakness.  People passing the factory could not resist the delicious doughnut smell, and wanted to buy them hot off the press.  Vernon obliged, cutting a hole in the outside wall to sell fresh glazed doughnuts directly to people on the street.

Today, Krispy Kreme operates nearly 900 stores in 24 countries. But, like its founders intended, Krispy Kreme continues to sell doughnuts to grocery and convenience stores. Over the years, deliveries to these stores have made Krispy Kreme trucks an easy target for thieves.  One Michigan man may take the cake doughnut for the most comically unsuccessful Krispy Kreme truck theft.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “On Remand: Cops, Courts, And Doughnuts”

Teresa Giudice is sorry she’s not sorry.

* Dewey think Joel Sanders and Steve DiCarmine, former head honchos of the failed firm D&L, have a friend in the District Attorney’s office? Even their opponents in their criminal case want their civil case stayed. [WSJ Law Blog]

* “They’re literally dancing in the streets in Cleveland.” Frederick Nance, Cleveland-based regional managing partner of Squire Patton Boggs and lawyer to King LeBron, couldn’t be more thrilled that his client is returning to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hooray for hometown billables. [Am Law Daily]

* Tracy Morgan filed a lawsuit against Walmart over the fatal car wreck that killed his friend and left him with numerous broken bones. We suppose his injuries will prevent him from getting girls pregnant. [CNN]

* The NYLS grad who founded an imperiled cupcakery dropped enough Crumbs to lead investors to her rescue. Now the bakeshop has enough cash to make it through bankruptcy. [DealBook / New York Times]

* Fabulicious? Teresa Giudice, the Real Housewife of New Jersey who pleaded guilty to fraud charges last year, is awaiting sentencing of up to 27 months, but isn’t sure she regrets what she did. [New York Post]

I don’t want to minimize my guilt, as a lot of people here do. But [I] didn’t need a sentence that matches what people get for killing people or for raping people.

Matthew Kluger, formerly of Wilson Sonsini, commenting on the harshness of his 12-year sentence for insider trading, the longest sentence “ever meted out” in such a case. Kluger currently resides at “Club Fed.”

Phaedra Parks

Back in 2010, we told our readers about Phaedra Parks, one of the new stars of the Real Housewives of Atlanta. The buzz about Parks was huge, in part due to the fact that she had a successful professional career as an attorney before the show aired. Parks, a “Super Lawyer” in the field of entertainment law, previously described herself as “fabulous, fierce, and beautiful” — but these days, the UGA Law grad may not be feeling so hot.

It seems that her husband, Apollo Nida, is once again in some serious trouble with the law. What happened this time, and how is this going to impact the reality TV show’s upcoming season?

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