Denise Richards

falling laptops Above the Law Denise Richards.JPGIf you’re like us, you spent way too much time this weekend fretting over whether Denise Richards might be in legal jeopardy over her recent laptop-hurling incident.
Despite her descent into tabloid fodder, owing to her disastrous marriage to Charlie Sheen, we’re longtime fans of Ms. Richards. Nobody can resist the starlet’s delectably campy turns in “Starship Troopers” and “Wild Things.” (Remember her infamous love scene with Neve Campbell?)
So we’re happy to report that Denise devotees can exhale now:

Denise Richards won’t face charges for throwing two laptop computers over a balcony in a tussle with paparazzi in western Canada, police said.

The actress was accused of hurling two laptops from a balcony at the River Rock Casino and Hotel on Wednesday, hitting two elderly women below.

The incident occurred after two photographers tried to snap pictures of Richards by gaining unauthorized access to the set where she’s filming a movie with actress Pamela Anderson.

Jeez. The two poor women who were injured by the falling laptops were 81 and 90 years old. Haven’t they been through enough?
On the other hand, let’s look on the bright side:

1. Things could have been worse: Richards could have thrown exploding Dell laptops at them.

2. Getting hit by celebrity-thrown laptops is WAY more fun than feeding pigeons.

3. Richards will probably cough up some cash to the old biddies, to forestall legal action and to end the bad publicity. And she’ll pay in U.S. dollars.

4. In addition to Denise’s dough, the two women got oodles of attention. And isn’t that what old people really want?

See, e.g., Justice Stevens (refusing, like Chief Justice Rehnquist before him, to retire from the Supreme Court, despite advancing age and failing health).
Police: Denise Richards won’t face charges for tossing laptops off balcony [Associated Press via Court TV]
Denise Richards’ Paparazzi Rampage Leaves Two Laptops, One Senior Injured [Defamer]
Denise Richards [IMDb]