Divorce Train Wrecks
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Alston & Bird, B for Beauty, Barack Obama, Biglaw, Clerkships, Divorce Train Wrecks, Federal Judges, Hair, Judicial Nominations, Law Schools, Money, Morning Docket, Patton Boggs, Politics, Pregnancy / Paternity, Rape, SCOTUS, Shoes, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Clerks
Morning Docket: 08.20.12
* What happens if a Supreme Court clerk violates the Code of Conduct and leaks information to the press at the behest of a justice? At worst, he’d probably be forced to wash dirty socks from the SCOTUS morning exercise class. [National Law Journal]
* “[T]he great expectations when he was elected have not come to fruition.” Making judicial nominations wasn’t a high political priority, so President Barack Obama will be ending his term with just 125 lower-court appointments in the federal judiciary. [New York Times]
* If there’s anything that Paul Ryan’s good at, it’s soliciting money from lawyers and Biglaw firms. Alston & Bird tops the list of legal campaign contributors, with Patton Boggs in a close second. [Am Law Daily (sub. req.)]
* Apparently the female reproduction system shuts down to prevent conception upon rape. This improbable tidbit from a man who sits on the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology. [Los Angeles Times]
* But a great way to take some of the heat off of the “legitimate rape” dude is to break news about another Congressman’s nude swim in the Sea of Galilee while in Israel. Excellent work on this distraction. [POLITICO]
* What crisis? Despite a steep decline in applicants, the average law school’s tuition will climb by more than double the rate of inflation this fall. It’s really heartwarming how they put students first. [National Law Journal]
* Customs agents in Los Angeles seized 20,457 pairs of faux Christian Louboutins that would’ve been worth approximately $18M. For this heinous crime of fashion, the offending shoes will undergo a trial by fire. [CNN]
* Karma sure is a Blitsch. Matthew Couloute, the alleged lawyerly Lothario who got slammed by his exes on LiarsCheatersRUs.com, is now being slammed by someone else: his soon-to-be ex-wife. [New York Post]
* Beauty school dropout, no pube hair trimming days for you! Seventeen female plaintiffs have alleged that a cosmetology instructor subjected them to less-than-sanitary lessons in a federal suit. [New York Daily News]
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Celebrities, Divorce Train Wrecks, Family Law, Football, Reality TV, Securities and Exchange Commission, Sports
Sports Law, Spaw, Lorts: Mostly Football Extravaganza
In today's sports law column: Chad Johnson, workers' compensation in the NFL, and Jim Donnan. - Sponsored
How Generative AI Will Improve Legal Service Delivery
Learn how emerging tools will likely change and enhance the work of lawyers for years to come in this new report. -
Divorce Train Wrecks, Legal Ethics, Rudeness, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Videos, YouTube
Allegedly 'Out of Control' Judge Faces Official Ethics Charges
A former Judge of the Day, who caught flak last month for yelling at a pastor while on the bench, now faces additional, unrelated ethics charges…
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2nd Circuit, Akin Gump, American Bar Association / ABA, Arent Fox, Bankruptcy, Biglaw, Breasts, Divorce Train Wrecks, Dorsey & Whitney, Duane Morris, Education / Schools, John Roberts, Law Professors, Law Schools, Media and Journalism, Morning Docket, Oral Sex / Blow Jobs, Pornography, Privacy, Real Estate, SCOTUS, Sheppard Mullin, Supreme Court, Texas, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 08.10.12
* “I’ve been a restaurant waitress, a hotel hostess, a car parker, a nurse’s aide, a maid in a motel, a bookkeeper and a researcher.” This SCOTUS wife was well-prepared to give a graduation speech at New England Law. [Huffington Post]
* Sniffling over lost profits is the best way to get a court to take your side. Biglaw firms have asked the Second Circuit to consider reversing a decision in the Coudert Brothers “unfinished business” clawback case. [Legal Intelligencer]
* James Holmes, the alleged Aurora movie theater gunman, is being evicted from his apartment. Guess he didn’t know — or care — that booby-trapping the place with bombs would be against the terms of his lease. [Denver Post]
* The ABA has created a task force to study the future of legal education, and its work is expected to completed in 2014. ::rolleyes:: Oh, good thing they’re not in any kind of a hurry — there’s no need to rush. [ABA Journal]
* Indiana Tech, the little law school that nobody wants could, has hired its first faculty members. Thus far, the school has poached law professors from from West Virginia, Florida A&M, and Northern Illinois. [JD Journal]
* When divorces get weird: is this lawyer’s soon-to-be ex-wife hacking into his law firm email account and planning to publish privileged communications online? Yep, this is in Texas. [Unfair Park / Dallas Observer]
* Breast-feeding porn: yup, that’s a thing, so start Googling. A New Jersey mother is suing an Iowa production company after an instructional video she appeared in was spliced to create pornography. [Boston Globe]
* If someone from your school newspaper asks you for a quote about oral sex, and then you’re quoted in the subsequent article, you’re probably not going to win your invasion of privacy lawsuit. [National Law Journal]
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Deaths, Divorce Train Wrecks, Family Law, Food, Law Schools, Murder, Non-Sequiturs, Police, Sex
Non-Sequiturs: 07.23.12
* The easiest way to stop James Holmes from becoming a celebrity and inspiring copycats is to stop trying to monetize the Aurora killings to turn a profit with ad revenue, but Professor David Kopel says it in more elegant terms. [Volokh Conspiracy] * Of course there’s a law school death watch list. Now, it would be nice to think that these law schools would shut down, but there are still people willing to fill the seats. You should’ve known better than to assume a silly thing like employment statistics would stop people from applying. [Legal Blog Watch] * Divorce for men: it’s “not for women.” These family law practitioners may want to get together with Dr. Pepper for some kind of a licensing deal. [WSJ Law Blog] * A pube sandwich is a very creative culinary treat — unfortunately, the recipe isn’t taught in sandwich artist school. FYI, the price to serve it to a police officer is $13,750. [Gothamist] * The next time your husband complains about your sex life or lack thereof, just tell him that it’s against the law for married women to fornicate. Or that you’ve had a headache for the past few years. [Legal Juice] -
Cyberlaw, Defamation, Divorce Train Wrecks, Drugs, Racism, Rape, Technology, Texas
Don't Mess With This Texan: He is One Tough Underdog
The continuing saga of a small town, East Texas lawyer that could easily turn into the next three-hour, Oscar-winning Daniel Day Lewis epic... -
Barack Obama, Divorce Train Wrecks, Non-Sequiturs, SCOTUS, Supreme Court, United Kingdom / Great Britain
Non-Sequiturs: 07.09.12
* The Obama campaign is going to court to fight for their big ‘O’ trademark. I guess their claim that Romney’s centrist pragmatism was infringing on Obama’s reputation as a practical moderate fell through once Romney started pandering to his base. [WSJ Law Blog] * Cruise and Holmes have reached a divorce settlement already. I really think they’ve lost that loving feeling. [Ministry of Gossip / Los Angeles Times] * After a major blackout, you just know lawyers who work for power companies are going to be busy. [Legal Blog Watch] * British judge tells Arab man “to depart on his flying carpet” to escape paying costs. In other news: even a magic carpet wouldn’t help Brits win their own tennis tournament. [Legal Juice] * The bad judgment isn’t necessarily that a Brooklyn ADA took these pictures of himself, it’s that he didn’t scrub them from Facebook after he became an ADA. [Gothamist] * I-bankers suck at managing their own 401Ks. Maybe that’s the corollary to lawyers being bad at representing themselves. [Dealbreaker] * This is a brilliant look back at everything that happened with the Roberts Affordable Care Act decision, minute-by-minute. [SCOTUSblog] -
Celebrities, Divorce Train Wrecks, Religion
Xenu Expresses His Displeasure With Divorcing Scientologists, Encourages Use of In-House Lawyers
If you're a Scientologist interesting in splitting up with your spouse, you may be referred to an in-house divorce attorney. - Sponsored
Legal AI: 3 Steps Law Firms Should Take Now
If 2023 introduced legal professionals to generative AI, then 2024 will be when law firms start adapting to utilize it. Things are moving fast, so… -
Celebrities, Comment of the Day, Divorce Train Wrecks
Comment of the Week: Praise Be to Xenu
Who won the prize for Comment of the Week? -
Divorce Train Wrecks, Fame Brief
Fame Brief: Katie Holmes Ascends the Bridge to Total Freedom
Did Katie Holmes do it for Suri? -
Barack Obama, Celebrities, Department of Justice, Divorce Train Wrecks, Drugs, Gambling, Gambling / Gaming, Health Care / Medicine, John Roberts, Law Schools, Morning Docket, SCOTUS, Social Media, Social Networking Websites, Supreme Court, Twittering
Morning Docket: 07.03.12
* Obama’s win for health care reform didn’t result in a polling bump for him, but it did result in an even higher disapproval rating for SCOTUS, at least as far as Republicans are concerned… [POLITCO; CBS News]
* … which may be why Chief Justice John Roberts escaped to “an impregnable island fortress” to avoid the Right’s fury, criticism, and scorn as soon as he could after the ACA opinion dropped. [New York Times]
* “[W]e have learned from the mistakes that were made.” That lesson only cost a few billion dollars. GlaxoSmithKline will pay $3B in the largest health-care fraud settlement in U.S. history. [Wall Street Journal]
* After losing a bid to quash a subpoena, Twitter has to turn over info about an #OWS protester’s tweets. OMG, please respond to that thing in 140 characters or less. [Bloomberg]
* Unlike most recent law school grads, Yale Law’s Vanessa Selbst hasn’t been hedging her bets in bar prep classes. Instead, she went all in, played her cards right, and won $244K at the World Series of Poker. [ESPN]
* Divorce really does bring out the best in people. Alec Baldwin says that if given the chance, he would murder his ex-wife Kim Basinger’s lawyer “with a baseball bat.” Gee, tell us how you really feel. [New York Post]
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Divorce Train Wrecks, Judge of the Day, Rudeness, State Judges, State Judges Are Clowns, Videos, YouTube
Judge of the Day: Shut Up When I'm Talking to You!
A West Virginia state judge goes off at a pastor during his divorce hearing… -
Divorce Train Wrecks, Fashion, Fashion Is Fun, Gambling, Gambling / Gaming, Hotties, Shoes
Poker Player With Full House of Designer Shoes Gets Sued By Ex-Husband Over Her $1M Collection
If you’re wise, you already know better than to mess with a woman’s shoe collection. Unfortunately, some men still haven’t gotten the memo...
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Divorce Train Wrecks, Rudeness, Shopping, Shopping For Others, Texas
Divorcée Sues Neiman Marcus for Refusal to Accept Return of $1.4M in Gifts From Allegedly Cheating Ex-Husband
What happens when Neiman Marcus allegedly refuses to take a $1.4 million return? A lawsuit, of course... -
Depositions, Divorce Train Wrecks, Gender, Rudeness, Texas, Women's Issues
Texas Lawyer Allegedly Calls Opposing Counsel The C-Word, But Says It To Her Male Colleagues So He Thinks It's Okay
Whenever you can claim woman's clothing is to blame for you inappropriate comments, you've gotta do it... -
Animal Law, California, Divorce Train Wrecks, Pets
Custody Battle Costs Man His 'Life Savings' -- We're Talking About A Dog Custody Battle
Pet Court with Judge Elie Mystal... -
Divorce Train Wrecks, Family Law, Holidays and Seasons, Legal Ethics
Lawyer Faces Possible Discipline Over Epic Christmas Poem About Neverending Divorce Case
While poetry may be the best way to make passive-aggressive complaints about your case, the next time you’re considering writing a four-page, 60-line email riffing on a classic holiday poem, you might want to consider your audience... -
Bar Exams, Biglaw, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Divorce Train Wrecks, John Edwards, Law Schools, Money, Morning Docket, Texas, Trials, Women's Issues
Morning Docket: 05.04.12
* My Big Fat Dewey Compensation Guarantee: it’s like a movie that no one wants to watch, except it’s happening in real life. But at least the partners got their draws, right? [Reuters; DealBook / NYT]
* Why didn’t John Edwards’s former aide disclose to the government that he refused to lie under oath about his affair? “Because you never asked.” Best. Response. Ever. [MSNBC]
* Maybe Mintz Levin didn’t belong on the list of the Top Ten Family-Friendly Firms after all. The firm’s been sued twice in recent years for sexual discrimination. Oops. [Careerist]
* Baylor Law claimed the top pass rate on the Texas bar exam for the fifteenth time since 2001. Unfortunately, Baylor Law cannot claim a top pass rate on disclosure of private student information. [Baylor University]
* In America, lawyers are pissing off state bar associations by offering their services on Groupon. En México, no es un problema. There, you can buy gift cards for the gift that keeps on giving… divorce! [Huffington Post]
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Bail, Biglaw, Blackberry-Crackberry, Cellphones, Copyright, Dewey & LeBoeuf, Divorce Train Wrecks, Google / Search Engines, Intellectual Property, Job Searches, John Edwards, Law Schools, Morning Docket, Politics, Real Estate, Technology, Trials
Morning Docket: 04.23.12
* No dowry, no problem: Dewey we have a suitor for this imploding Biglaw firm? Rumor has it that Greenberg Traurig was seen whispering sweet nothings into D&L’s ear about its possible interest. [Am Law Daily]
* BlackBerry maker Research In Motion has hired Milbank Tweed to work out a restructuring plan. Just think, maybe if your product didn’t suck so hard, you wouldn’t be in this position in the first place. [Reuters]
* Sex, money, and betrayal… it sounds like another failed TV series about lawyers on ABC, but in actuality, it’s just a preview of the John Edwards campaign finance trial set to begin this week. [Los Angeles Times]
* Technophobes beware, because this copyright battle over code is getting serious. Oracle v. Google turned into Larry v. Larry in court last week as the CEOs for both companies gave testimony. [Bits / New York Times]
* George Zimmerman thought he’d have to stay in jail longer because he was having trouble coming up with his bail money, but he was released in the dead of night. Bet he looked pretty suspicious. [CNN]
* “There are [fewer students] coming in and crying. I haven’t had a crier yet, which I have had in the past.” Given the legal hiring market, that’s a real accomplishment for a career services official. [Charlotte Observer]
* Who gives a sh*t? Not this Russian fertilizer tycoon. When you’re a billionaire, buying an $88M apartment for your kid is just a run-of-the-mill transaction. Come on, he’s not hiding his assets for his divorce. [Telegraph]
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Crime, Divorce Train Wrecks, Murder, Small Law Firms
Chicago-Area Lawyer Didn't Make a 'Rational Decision' When He Hired a Contract Killer to Off a Former Client
Jason W. Smiekel, the attorney accused of taking out a hit on a former client (who also happened to be the ex-husband of Smiekel’s fiancée), has taken a plea deal....