Drinking

Muscle Milk: drink this and you’ll write awesome pro se briefs.

I’m about to share with you an awesome pro se court filing from a law student who drinks Muscle Milk — enough of the stuff to belong to a class action of Muscle Milk consumers. Please try to envision what this submission might look like.

In terms of the student, I’m imagining a real meathead. He belonged to a frat in college. He’s not a great law student, but his family has connections that will help him land a job post-graduation. His bookshelf looks like this.

As for his pro se filing, it’s probably a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury (and Bluebooking errors). The UVA Libel Show would call it a Muscle-Milk-induced “roid rage of shame.”

But no, it’s not; it’s so much better than that. It’s actually a work of genius….

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You basically dropped trou. You showed your rear end to this court. You acted like a fool in this courtroom.

– Chief Judge Jim Roberson of the Alamance County District Court, scolding defendant Jonathan Lee Gaddy after the 19-year-old pulled down his pants in court following a hearing on an underage drinking charge. Roberson had twice before instructed Gaddy to pull his pants up to his waist. After Gaddy pulled his pants down to his knees, Roberson sentenced him to a 10-day stay in the county jail for his contempt of court.

Your Above the Law editors: Joe Patrice, Elie Mystal, Staci Zaretsky, and David Lat

February is supposed to be full of hearts and love and chocolate candy, but this year, it was mostly filled with snow — and that’s why our Valentine’s Day party, which was originally supposed to be on February 13, had to be rescheduled.

That said, thanks a lot to everyone who was willing to brave the cold and came out on Wednesday night to attend the Above the Law Valentine’s Day party. This year’s festivities were extremely well-attended (the bar was packed), and the entire crowd enjoyed all of the specialty drinks that were served. Thanks to our sponsor, the Business Law Center on WestlawNext™ from Thomson Reuters, for making such a great evening possible.

If you weren’t able to make it out, don’t worry — we’ve got you covered. Here are some of the pictures from a night that was full of fun and fabulosity…

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Thanks again to everyone who came out to the ATL Trivia night in Boston last Thursday! Over 100 law students gathered in the basement of Clery’s to vie for both honor and the goodies provided by our sponsors from Kaplan Bar Review. We’d advertised the free food and drinks and the free iPad minis and Google Chromecasts, but we also learned that Kaplan was giving away hundreds of dollars of free credit for Kaplan Bar Review courses, with everyone in attendance receiving a nice discount.

And if you’re a law student wondering when we’ll make it to your town, be patient. I know a couple of locations we’re planning to hit in the next couple of months.

So let’s recap our Boston extravaganza and check out some pictures of the action….

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Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get your party on. If you’re still looking for a date to fill the empty space in the lonesome lawyerly lairs of your heart, you should come out to our post-V-Day party this Wednesday, February 26, in New York City, sponsored by the Business Law Center on WestlawNext™ from Thomson Reuters.

If you can’t attend or aren’t in the NYC area, you can still register to win one of two grand-prize swag bags, filled with everything you could possibly need to make your next date a memorable one (awesome things like Russell Stover chocolates, ATL and Business Law Center t-shirts, and an iPad Mini).

Register using the form below, and we’ll send you an email with the exact time and location of our three-hour open bar. Love is still in the air, and we hope to see you there!

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Join Us At The ATL Post-Valentine’s Day Party”

Julia Papazian Law

Last May, a 26-year-old paralegal by the name of Julia Papazian Law was found dead in the bathtub of her boss and boyfriend, prominent Philadelphia defense attorney A. Charles Peruto Jr. The news set tongues wagging in Philly. It had all the elements of a tabloid tale: a beautiful young woman, a wealthy and successful lawyer, and possible organized-crime connections. (Peruto has represented such prominent alleged Mob figures as Joey Merlino and Nicodemo Scarfo.)

Philadelphia District Attorney Seth Williams convened a grand jury to investigate Julia Law’s death. This decision did not sit well with Charles Peruto, who claimed that it placed him under a cloud of suspicion that harmed his reputation and his legal practice.

With the grand jury probe concluded, District Attorney Williams made an announcement about its findings. What did he have to say?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Paralegal’s Death In Boss/Boyfriend’s Bathtub Declared Accidental”

Were you planning on joining us tonight for the Above the Law Valentine’s Day Party in New York City, sponsored by the Business Law Center on WestlawNext™ from Thomson Reuters? Well, did you look outside? Yeah, it’s kind of nasty. If you had looked outside and were still planning on coming, then you’re a damn trooper and we like you. That said, not everyone shares your fortitude, which brings us to this announcement:

We’re going to have to reschedule.

Do not fear, the party will go forward, you’ll get your chance to drink with us and win awesome swag bags, just some time after Valentine’s Day proper. Specifically, the event will now be held on Wednesday, February 26. Mark your calendars accordingly.

UPDATE (2/13/2014, 11 a.m.): Due to weather conditions and safety concerns, this event is being postponed to a future date. Thanks for your patience and understanding.

Valentine’s Day is just days away, and this year, instead of planning which drug stores you’ll hit for after-Valentine’s Day candy sales, you should consider stopping by the Above the Law Valentine’s Day Party in New York City, sponsored by the Business Law Center on WestlawNext™ from Thomson Reuters. It’s being held on Thursday, February 13th, so you’ll have plenty of time to message people on OKCupid so you can tell your mother that yes, you do have a date, and yes, you will find a nice person to marry someday.

Register using the form below, and we’ll send you an email with the exact time and location of our three-hour open bar.

If you can’t attend or aren’t in the NYC area, you can still register to win one of two grand prize swag bags filled with everything you could possibly need to make this Valentine’s Day a memorable one (awesome things like Russell Stover chocolates, ATL and Business Law Center t-shirts, and an iPad Mini).

Love is in the air, and we hope to see you there!

Ed. note: Please welcome Jenny M. Brandt to our pages. Jenny will be covering celebrities and the law. You can read her full bio at the end of this post.

Justin Bieber seemed to be on a rampage of self-destruction — first he allegedly egged his neighbor in a move that supposedly incurred thousands of dollars in damages, then police reportedly found drugs in his home, followed by his arrest in Florida for a DUI and drag racing, culminating in an arrest in Toronto for some kind of alleged altercation with a limo driver.  Oh, and let’s not forget yesterday’s news that he reportedly hot-boxed a private jet, causing the pilots to wear masks.

But is Bieber getting a bad rap?  Is this a case of Michael Jackson criminality — he becomes a target for arrests simply because others have made claims against him?

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Driving While Bieber?”

Woody Allen

* Woody Allen’s lawyer, Elkan Abramowitz, responds to Dylan Farrow’s account of alleged sexual abuse at the hands of her famous father. [Gawker; Gothamist]

* Sound advice from Professor Glenn Reynolds on how not to increase applications to your law school. [Instapundit]

* What is a “nitro dump,” and will it provide information about who (or what) killed Philip Seymour Hoffman? [ATL Redline]

* “Is Elena Kagan a ‘paranoid libertarian?’ Judging by [Cass] Sunstein’s definition, the answer is yes.” [Reason via Althouse]

* A petition of possible interest to debt-laden law school graduates: “Increase the student loan interest deduction from $2,500 to the interest actually paid.” [WhiteHouse.gov]

* Vivia Chen wonders: Is Amy Chua, co-author of The Triple Package (affiliate link), being attacked as racist in a way that it itself racist? [Time]

* Yikes — journalists around the country have been receiving “a flurry of subpoenas in recent months,” according to Jeff Kosseff of Covington & Burling. [InsideTechMedia]

* Congratulations to Orrick’s 15 new partners — an impressively diverse group, from a wide range of practice areas and from offices around the world. [Orrick Herrington & Sutcliffe]

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