Who wouldn’t want to party with us? Like we told you earlier this week, we’re ready to celebrate the new year with all of our loyal readers, and as anyone in the legal profession can attest to, the best way to do that is with the assistance of our favorite social lubricant: alcohol!
The Above the Law New Year’s party will be held on Wednesday, January 16, at a secret location in NYC to be disclosed later. This year’s bonus might’ve made you feel small compared to the salad days of Biglaw, but trust me, getting an invite to this private party is sure to make you feel like a real VIP. As always, at our parties, you’ll get all the juicy gossip and backstory that was too salacious to print.
Be prepared to have some fun times with all of your favorite Above the Law editors — you can bask in Lat’s prestige, look at Elie’s cute baby pictures, and watch me act out some of your favorite scenes from ATL’s very own commentariat fanfic stories. THEY IT IS! Say hello to some of our columnists — who knows, maybe Tannebaum will show up to call you a moron! And most importantly, don’t forget to enjoy our open bar!
Please keep in mind that you must sign up to be placed on our exclusive guest list. We’ll let you know if you make the cut and provide details on the venue via email. Good luck, and we hope to see you there!
P.S. When you RSVP, it’s going to look like you haven’t, but I promise, you have. It’s just a little glitch we put in so you have some plausible deniability if someone who’s uncool asks if you’ve RSVP’d to our party yet.
I just got back from a weekend in New Orleans. Let’s just say that I’ve been freshly reminded of how alcohol can lead to some questionable decision making. Dear God, what a town.
Of course, I’m not the first person to wake up in a gutter on Bourbon Street thinking, “How did it come to this?,” and tracing it all to a drink of some kind, the “one drink too many.” All joking aside, only people who work for beer companies act like alcohol isn’t a huge factor in many serious crimes in this country. Assaults, domestic violence, rapes, even murders are often fueled by excessive consumption.
That said, very few people are abducted, unknowingly saturated with alcohol, and then set loose on an unsuspecting public. Lots of people consume alcohol responsibly. Many people consume alcohol irresponsibly without hurting anyone else, and a few irresponsible individuals consume to excess and then commit heinous acts. What are we going to do, sue the beer companies because some individuals get liquored up before they commit crimes?
Well, for some criminals in Idaho, that’s exactly what they’re doing….
The year is quickly drawing to a close, but we have unfinished business to conduct here at Above the Law. Come on, people, we still have to crown our Lawyer of the Year for 2012.
Thank you to everyone who responded to our call for nominations, in the comments or via email. We’ve narrowed down the nominees to a field of nine (although you’ll see only eight options in the poll because one is a joint nomination). As in past years, the contenders run the gamut from distinguished to despicable.
Ed. note: This is the first installment in a new series of monthly posts, brought to you by Corporette’s Kat Griffin, which will deal with topical business and lifestyle issues that present themselves in the world of Biglaw. Send your ideas for future columns to us by clicking here.
In just a few weeks, ’tis the most dreaded time of year for law firm associates: the time for holiday parties. What do you wear? What do you drink? Do you have to dance with your assistant? Can’t you just stay at the office until the after party gets started?
Keep reading for some tips and tricks on the dos and don’ts for law firm holiday parties….
Back when I was at the law firm, billing more hours than I knew were in a week, there were people who thought I was “gunning” for partnership. I billed a ton of hours, had basic social skills and a good mentor, and hey, I’d look pretty good in any “diversity” partner puff piece. Just add ten years of sustaining a maniacal pace, learning how to generate rain in a shrinking market, and navigating the political minefield of kissing the right people’s asses, and maybe I could have had a shot.
Suuuure I would have. Making partner at the Biglaw firm that you started with is functionally impossible. It happens so infrequently that setting it as a goal is about as realistic as children saying they want to walk on the Moon when they grow up. The odds were long before the economic crisis that caused partnerships to close their ranks and protect their profits like dragons hoarding treasure.
It’s not going to happen, but trying to get there ruins a lot of people. They can be having perfectly fine, perfectly serviceable Biglaw careers, but then somebody starts dangling the possibility of “partnership” in front of them, and suddenly they are trying to schmooze late into the night and kick their billable hours up into the 3,000-a-year range. And maybe if they’re lucky they’ll be able to get into a less prestigious firm, slog another couple of backbreaking years as “counsel,” and then get equity at some other shop.
Am Law Daily has the story of a man who finally got his shot at the brass ring, was fired over his alcoholism, and died a short while later. It’s a sad and extreme story, but many people fall in all sorts of ways on the path to partnership….
Here at Above the Law, we regularly cover career alternatives for attorneys. For better or worse, there are not enough jobs in the practice of law to accommodate all holders of law degrees. So it’s helpful and even inspiring to our readers to showcase all the different and creative ways that lawyers are using their legal training in other endeavors.
Luckily for us, and for our readers interested in alternative career paths, our friends over at Bloomberg Law have been conducting wonderful weekly interviews with people they call “stealth lawyers” — individuals who, after either training or practicing as a lawyer, went on to find success in some other field.
Let’s meet a recent profile subject, a Georgetown and Yale law grad who left the practice and teaching of law for a very unique new niche. If you enjoy drinking boxes and boxes a glass of fine wine — and who doesn’t, really? — keep reading….
I’ve done some fairly unacceptable things whilst blackout drunk. Life is hard, and navigating this world fifteen to twenty Bud Lights in is nigh on impossible. I fell asleep on a train platform a few months ago. For instance. I was awakened by the bleating of the oncoming train’s horn. WAKE UP AND MOVE YOUR FEET FROM MY PATH BEFORE I CHOP THEM OFF, the train said. I moved them. Still have my feet.
This weekend, an assistant district attorney with the Brooklyn D.A.’s office allegedly lost something more important than his feet. His head. He allegedly lost his head, lost his cool, and probably stands to lose a whole lot more in the days to come.
Michael Jaccarino is the ADA’s name, and it took all the restraint the New York Post had not to scream in its headline, “Wacko Jacko On The Attacko.”
Y’see, Micael Jaccarino allegedly attacked a female EMT early Saturday morning…
October brought a lot of tricks for the legal community, but there were some treats, too. From death-defying deeds of dumbness to dastardly weather disasters, last month seemed to have it all as far as we’re concerned.
Which attorney allegedly dropped a joint in front of cops in a courthouse? Which attorney allegedly got so wasted that she threw herself in the garbage? And which lawyer was so sexy that he won money for it?
* What do Dolce & Gabbana have in common with Al Capone? No, not their impeccable fashion sense… [Fashionista]
* Keith Magness, the attorney accused of masturbating on his female colleague’s desk chair and dry cleaning, settled a lawsuit stemming from his allegedly unseemly behavior. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Eww, eww. Gross. Eww. [NOLA.com]
After a late night out on the town, many of us have probably come up with ill-conceived plans that seemed like great ideas at the time. For example, I recently concocted a plan to move to a remote island to escape my soul-crushing student loan debt, and even started packing a suitcase. But then I fell asleep. Upon awakening from my drunken stupor slumber, I realized just how absurd that plan was. Come on, I can’t afford plane tickets.
But what if you never had the chance to sleep it off? What if you thought that your harebrained plan would actually work?
That may have been what happened this weekend to a recent Cardozo Law School graduate who was unable to get into her Chelsea apartment in New York. She cooked up a plan so convoluted, so MacGyver-esque, that 1Ls the world over would cringe if it ever appeared on a torts exam. This lawyer thought it would get her back into the comfort of her own home, but instead, she only succeeded in landing herself in the hospital — with significant damage to one of her limbs.
We suppose this must be what happens to newly minted lawyers who are used to receiving walking instructions from their law schools….
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When Chintan Panchal decided to leave a global BigLaw partnership to start his own firm, he could only hope that he would face the high-quality problem of firm building that many had cautioned him about. Focused on the uncertainty surrounding of a new firm launch, he decided to tackle staffing needs, IT challenges, and financial planning requirements after he had built up his legal practice.
Panchal Associates LLP–a corporate/finance and outside general counsel boutique–was quickly off to a great start. Clients and matters were flying in the door, and Chintan soon had a team of lawyers and staff with a variety of operational needs. To continue building an excellent team and provide them with a competitive benefits package, to expand his physical presence to include a European practice and additional partners, and to scale his operations and IT capabilities to support this growing enterprise brought with it demands of time, money, and expertise. Chintan knew he needed help.
“With the assistance of NexFirm, we have upgraded the capabilities of our firm to meet, and in some cases exceed, the standards we were used to at our former BigLaw firms. Operationally, we can now attract and service clients we didn’t have the bandwidth to support in the past, and continue to build our team with the best and brightest legal talent in the industry,” said Chintan Panchal, adding “It has worked out quite well in our case; NexFirm is an essential partner for us.”
The holiday season is upon us, and yet again, you have no idea what to get for the fickle lawyer in your life. We’re here to help. Even if your bonus check hasn’t arrived yet, any one of the gifts we’ve highlighted here could be a worthy substitute until your employer decides to make it rain.
We’ve got an eclectic selection for you to choose from, so settle in by that stack of documents yet to be reviewed and dig in…
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