Drugs

Inside Straight: Pfortune On Pfizer

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If you haven’t yet read the long piece in Fortune magazine about the rise and fall of Jeff Kindler as the CEO of Pfizer, you really should. The story may or may not be true — I have no idea — but it would be interesting reading even if it were a work of fiction about corporate political intrigue.

I’ve never met Jeff Kindler. I do know several people who are close friends of his, and I’ve watched his career from a distance as he moved from Williams & Connolly to GE to the general counsel of McDonald’s to the general counsel of Pfizer and then, startlingly, to the CEO of Pfizer. The Fortune piece traces this whole career in detail and then describes why and how Kindler resigned from the CEO spot after serving only very briefly.

Why mention that article here? First, I’m doing you a favor; if you hadn’t previously heard about the piece, now you have a link.

Second, the article said two things about in-house counsel that rang true with me — whether or not these things actually occurred at Pfizer….

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.28.11

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Sheryl Crow

* I’m standing in the middle of a desert, waiting for my ship to come in. But now no joker, no J.D. degree, can take your losing hand, and make it win; you should be leaving Las Vegas. [WSJ Law Blog]

* If Miami Law could somehow figure out a way to actually do this, they would usher in a new era where law schools might still be expensive, but not useless. At some point, the way we educate future lawyers has to change, doesn’t it? [Roy Black]

* The law and law enforcement will always be behind the curve when trying to police cutting-edge techniques employed to unwittingly photograph naked women. Still not sure if you want to click on the link? How about: “This is why Kash is afraid to pee.” [Not-So Private Parts / Forbes]

* I don’t understand and/or don’t care why so many lawyers have a problem with the “and/or” construction. [Legal Blog Watch]

* Listening to Lat and Bess Levin discuss the various things can happen to meth users was the highlight of my day at the office, but seriously kids, don’t do drugs. [Dealbreaker]

* What do you get for the billionaire who has everything? His own prison. [Sentencing Law & Policy]

Chris Christie

* Wait, John Grisham stories are fictional? Man, I always thought that nobody offered to pay off my debts and buy me a house and a car in Memphis because of my race. [ABA Journal]

* New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is going to be okay. [Slate]

* Scott Drake asked me to do a podcast just after I read Rick Matasar’s response to the New York Times. This recording was made after I calmed down. [Legal Broadcast Network]

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Judges Behaving Badly? A Slew of Lurid Allegations

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Ex-Judge Thompson: not looking well.

Oh goodness. Today is shaping up to be “Misbehaving Judges Day” here at Above the Law.

One judge, new to these pages, is accused of a serious crime: rape. And supposedly there’s a video of the alleged act.

A second judge (or former judge), who should be familiar to many of you — Donald Thompson, aka the “penis pump” judge — has been hit with fresh criminal charges.

Let’s look at the allegations against the two men….

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Non-Sequiturs: 07.19.11

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* Urging people to kill the president is protected speech, according to the Ninth Circuit. So if you are playing along at home, judges think that talking about killing judges is wrong, but they don’t care if you threaten the executive branch. [Wired]

* Did anyone start Dewey & LeBoeuf in their Dodger lawyers fantasy lineup? [Am Law Daily]

* I thought the Roger Clemens mistrial was due to government incompetence, but this guy thinks it’s due to government arrogance. [The Legal Blitz]

* Yes, I know Ben Wallace is thinking of going to law school. I wrote about it when I heard about it last fall. Sadly, I have no additional thoughts on the matter since my prior post. [ABA Journal]

* The U.S. Government has decided to stop pursuing Randy Quaid. When reached for comment, Russell Casse said: “They’ve got bigger fish to fry now, believe you me.” [Gawker]

* Delaware should make it more efficient for law firms to tax public mergers. If you don’t like it, you’re feel to come up with some other way for your firm to generate half a million in undeserved fees. [Dealbreaker]

* Cocaine’s a hell of a drug. [New York Times]

* Which is why some might try to pay an Ivy League tuition by selling it. [Village Voice]

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A Closer Look at Paul Bergrin, Former Federal Prosecutor Accused of Murder-for-Hire

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Paul Bergrin

I’ll always be grateful to Paul Bergrin, the New Jersey federal prosecutor turned notorious criminal defense attorney. Thanks to him, I’ll never have to worry about being the most scandalous alumnus of the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Newark.

While working as an assistant U.S. attorney, I wrote a mildly snarky blog about federal judges, pretending to be a woman, until I outed myself in the pages of the New Yorker. That pales in comparison to what Bergrin stands accused of doing, including (but not limited to) the following: operating a real-estate scam, which defrauded lenders of over $1 million; running a high-volume drug dealership, which was apparently big enough to move 120 pounds of uncut cocaine; running an illegal escort service; and, most seriously of all, having witnesses murdered to keep them from testifying against his clients.

It’s hard to believe that Paul Bergrin was once a federal prosecutor. It’s not hard to believe that he is, in the words of New York magazine, “The Baddest Lawyer in the History of Jersey.”

But let’s recall that the charges against Bergrin are just that — charges, which Bergrin disputes. Last week, represented by prominent defense lawyer Lawrence Lustberg, Bergrin appeared in federal court in Newark and pleaded not guilty to all 33 counts in the 139-page indictment. Bergrin’s trial is currently set for October 11 before Judge William J. Martini.

In light of the astounding charges leveled against him, Paul Bergrin has taken on a larger-than-life aura — the man, the myth, the legend. What is he really like?

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Kids, Get High Off Drugs, Not Debt. It’s More Fun And People Are Nicer To You When It’s Time To Recover.

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Let’s say that instead of taking on huge debts while I was in law school, I had taken up a wicked cocaine habit. Let’s say I had done loads and loads of blow from 2000 to 2007 and then went into a 12-step program. If I had been lucky enough to avoid an overdose or jail, you could argue that things would be better for me right now — even if I had a really serious cocaine problem where I spent my all my disposable income on the drug, and even if I put a good job and a good marriage straight up my nose. If I had been through all that and then wrote an essay about the highs and the lows of doing cocaine throughout my legal career, if I was telling kids that they could overcome a wicked cocaine habit even though the consequences were severe, if I was truthfully telling people that even though I’m trying to stay clean and sober now I’m not “ashamed” of my past life, I’d have nearly everybody in my corner.

Instead, I didn’t have a cocaine habit in law school and beyond. I defaulted on my student debts.

Really, the smart thing to do would have been to default on all my loans, then blame it on the cocaine that I was “powerless” to stop. But instead of playing the victim, I marshaled what autonomous power I had and chose not to pay back my loans in a timely manner. I decided to go down on my own terms, not the terms set out for me in a promissory note.

That seems to be what has really pissed everybody off…

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A Little ‘Me Time’

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Ed. note: This post is by Will Meyerhofer, a former Sullivan & Cromwell attorney turned psychotherapist. He holds degrees from Harvard, NYU Law, and The Hunter College School of Social Work, and he blogs at The People’s Therapist. His new book, Life is a Brief Opportunity for Joy, is available on Amazon (affiliate link).

My client wasn’t getting enough sleep. I assumed it was insomnia, but that didn’t fit the bill. It wasn’t that she couldn’t sleep; it was that she wouldn’t sleep. She was staying up from 11 p.m. to 2 a.m., lying in bed — mostly, playing Angry Birds.

Those few hours were the only time she was left alone all day – no one from the firm called to assign her something awful to do or yell at her for something awful she’d done. To relinquish this sliver of “me time,” even for sleep, was out of the question….

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Morning Docket: 05.04.11

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* The poster state for Planned Parenthood may be picking a fight with the Obama administration over funding Planned Parenthood. [Los Angeles Times]

* Yesterday, Justice John Paul Stevens delivered a speech on the need for legal representation of immigrants. Es muy importante. ¿Puedo ir al baño? Gracias. [New York Times]

* Justice Stevens also criticized a recent Supreme Court decision on prosecutorial misconduct in his speech. Said the current Court is one bowtie short of a… then he trailed off. But he’s pretty sure they got what he was saying. [WSJ Law Blog]

* In the wake of the King & Spalding mess, a look at how other law firms vet controversial clients. [Am Law Daily]

* “Wife of stoned QB passes on taking the stand.” [New York Post]

* The U.S. government has filed suit against Deutsche Bank, accusing them of fraud. Something something schaudenfraud. [Washington Post]

* Medical-pot dispensaries in Washington fear raids, crave Doritos. [Seattle Times]

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Fake Lawsuit of the Day: It’s 4.20!

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It’s been a while since I graduated from college, but isn’t there something special about this particular day on the calendar? I just can’t quite remember what’s so important about 4/20.

Well, according to this fun little headline, I’m not the only one with memory problems today: AFROMAN SUED ON 4/20: ‘Because I Got High’ Singer Sued For Forgetting About A Concert Date.

Ha ha. Let’s check out this “complaint” below. And if you don’t know who Afroman is, you’re in for a treat…

CORRECTION (1:30 PM): I initially thought this lawsuit was a joke. But according to Claudia Lyster, marketing manager for the two law firms bringing the action, “I want to assure you the lawsuit filed against Afroman this morning in Franklin County Municipal Court is very real. Here is a time-stamped copy of the Complaint.”

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Quote of the Day: Piedras?

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Sotomayor rocks.

– Kristine Sims (via ABA Journal).

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