Drugs

* Could this be the worst judge in the country? [WFPL News] * “Study Finds College Still More Worthwhile Than Spending 4 Years Chained To Radiator.” Congrats to Michael Simkovic on his new paper. [The Onion] * The next Hobby Lobby could be Notre Dame, who wants the right to not have to pay for insurance that might possibly allow women to purchase birth control that kind of but aren’t really abortifacients in any scientific sense. It’s represented pro bono by Jones Day. Honestly, I don’t have it in for Jones Day, but it seems like every… single… damn… time I write something about a firm doing awful things I end up typing J-O-N-E-S-D-A-Y at some point in the article. [MSNBC] * Helpful judge tells criminal to change his ways — not because he’s a criminal, but because he’s a really bad criminal. [Huffington Post] * J.D.s should consider panhandling as a legitimate career alternative. [Law and More] * Lat explains why apprenticeship should be an option for becoming a lawyer. But what if you just love law school so much. [New York Times] * Remember when Examsoft screwed up the bar exam and the Twittersphere went nuts? WBEZ spoke with Lat about what went down. Embed below… [SoundCloud]

* Yesterday afternoon, two of D&L’s former executives quietly settled a clawback suit filed by Alan Jacobs, the firm’s bankruptcy trustee. Dewey know how much Messrs. Sanders and DiCarmine had to pay the piper? [WSJ Law Blog]

* GrayRobinson is the latest firm to hop aboard the medical marijuana bandwagon by launching its own regulated products practice group. Lawyers will soon puff, puff, pass around those lovely billable hours. [Daily Business Review]

* Pain at the pump apparently extends to this gas giant’s résumé dumps. A suit alleging bias in ExxonMobil’s hiring moves forward thanks to the Illinois Human Rights Commission. [Washington Blade]

* Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg will be testifying against Paul Ceglia in court to prove that the alleged huckster faked a contract that claimed he owned more than half the company. Like. [Bloomberg]

* It seems that Kid Rock has been subpoenaed over a glass sex toy that was supposedly given to him by a former Insane Clown Posse employee. Kid Rock is probably thrilled to be in the news again. [MLive.com]

Major corporation tries to kill another small business -- in this case, drug dealing.

What would you advise this associate to do?

* This failed firm’s drama is the Biglaw gift that keeps on giving: Dewey & LeBoeuf’s bankruptcy trustee filed an amended complaint against Steve DiCarmine and Joel Sanders seeking the return of more than $21.8 million. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Norton Rose Fulbright elected someone who “love, love, love[s] the law firm” as U.S. managing partner, and she’s the first woman to ever serve as U.S. chair of its management committee. We love, love, love this news! [National Law Journal]

* According to a California judge, tenure laws are unconstitutional and are depriving students of the high quality of education they deserve. The end is nigh, law professors. Enjoy it while it lasts. [New York Times]

* Not all states have legalized the recreational use of marijuana, but it’d be a lot cooler if they did. The tide is turning across the United States, and we’ll soon see which states’ drug laws go up in smoke. [Slate]

* “Document review attorneys are in demand now but the demand will gradually decrease.” Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the one job you were able to get soon won’t need or want you. [InsideCounsel]

Chris Christie offers a bizarre defense for keeping weed illegal in New Jersey.

Some Biglaw partners like fine wine, but others prefer fine women -- and that's usually where all the trouble begins.

* Poe’s The Raven, if the narrator was a midlevel associate working on Christmas. Excerpt: As of someone slowly rapping, rapping at my office door. “‘Tis the janitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my office door — Likely here to clean the floor.” Ha. [Law Poetry] * In the wake of Greece, a Satanist wants to open a government meeting with a Satanic prayer. When reached for comment, Dick Cheney said he was flattered. [Broward Palm Beach New Times] * Dan Snyder is just awful. Now he’s sent a cease and desist letter to LaVar Arrington because Arrington describes himself as a “Redskins great.” Because if anyone around here is going to needlessly slur indigenous people, it’s going to be Dan Snyder. [Deadspin] * Speaking of cease and desist letters, the one we talked about yesterday — sent over a bad Amazon review — has resulted in Amazon yanking the seller’s license. [ArsTechnica] * Come on, lawyers. Clean up after yourselves. Especially if you’re just leaving Molly all over someone else’s car. [South Florida Lawyers] * Guy in Alabama killed his wife, three dogs and a parrot after she sent a critical text. I know this is a tragedy, but as I saw the story all I could think is the parrot was somehow completely to blame. [AL.com] * There’s still a slave plantation in the United States and it’s terrifying. [Policy Mic] * Sometimes it’s worth remembering that we have it very easy as lawyers compared to some in other parts of the world. A lawyer representing a professor accused of blasphemy in Pakistan was gunned down last night. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * A conversation with Solicitor General Donald Verrilli. The full interview is available after the jump… [California Lawyer]

A pro-pot Supreme Court justice? Is this for real?

* 5 reasons why Northwestern football won’t really unionize. [The Legal Blitz] * Law grad who failed the bar arrested for claiming to be a lawyer. So much for Jimmy Malone’s advice… [Albany Times Union] * This morning we wrote about a lawyer turned babysitter. Jane Genova has some thoughts on how this story can have a happy ending. [Law and More] * This is why you don’t get tattoos. [The Independent] * Sitting judge should be on “high” court — listed as president of three different pot-related businesses. [Las Vegas Law Blog] * The Second Circuit is not pleased with the secrecy of the Obama administration. [The New Republic] * Corporette launches a new motherhood newsletter. She’s looking for guest bloggers too if you’re passionate about these issues. [Corporette] * Another argument for killing law school. [The Week] * Kash Hill looks at a Loyola Law grad who hunts down revenge porn sites. [Forbes] * Lorne Michaels has a new courtroom comedy webseries starring Bob Balaban. The first episode is embedded below…

* There’s a 5-4 Supreme Court lineup you don’t see too often. [The Volokh Conspiracy / Washington Post] * The Supreme Court is about to hear two cases on cellphone searches that would ring true with the Founders. [Constitutional Accountability Center] * Who watches the watchmen? It turns out nobody. This’ll end well. [Reuters] * A “Real Housewife” is apparently no longer so much a wife. She’s dating a “hot shot” NYC lawyer. [Daily Mail] * Affirmative action took another hit yesterday. But Professor Brian Fitzpatrick examines whether or not race-neutral affirmative action was really ever working anyway. [SSRN] * Extensive drug bust announced by publicity-hound D.A. uncovers… well, not all that much. [Slate]

* Mistrial declared after defendant shot in the chest in front of the jury. Judge, remarkably, phrases it like it wasn't a foregone conclusion. Unfortunately, a few minutes ago the FBI confirmed that the defendant has died of his wounds. [USA Today] * Here are some signs you were meant to be a lawyer. They’re actually not all that great. Probably should have included: “You padded your hours when your mom asked how much time you’ve spent on your homework” or “You introduced your little brother as your associate… and your pets as paralegals.” [Survive Law] * 21 Jump Fail. Cops embed a 20-something officer in a high school to pester special-needs kid into selling drugs. Judge is not amused. He probably saw the Channing Tatum/Jonah Hill version. [Rolling Stone] * Prosecutors told a guy to let a newspaper write about his drunk driving case as part of the plea deal. They’re really trying anything to save print media aren’t they? [Jim Romensesko] * If you went to law school in New York, then the job market’s a little better for you this year. Sorry, rest of the country. [Adjunct Law Prof Blog] * Congratulations to Paul Lo, who became the first Hmong judge in U.S. [Merced Sun Star] * The Aereo case going before the Supreme Court in one helpful video after the jump… [Bloomberg News]

Sounds like this PD had one drink too many.

* A Minnesota court ruled that it is not a crime to encourage people to commit suicide. So… keep commenting assholes, just know that you’ll feel really bad if I do it. [Gawker] * I might be in the market for a used car, and I’m hoping to get a really good deal on one of these “recalled” GMs. I hope the DOJ doesn’t screw up my plans. [Reuters Legal] * Speaking of cars, Alan Dershowitz calls for vigorous prosecution of reckless drivers. I call for vigorous prosecution of any box-blocking suburbanite who drives around Manhattan on a Saturday like they’re cruising to the country fair. [ABA Journal] * Alabama thinks that people over 70 should be excused from jury duty. YES, they deserve to be excused and I hope they burn in Hell! [WSJ Law Blog] * Narc is the new tattletale. [Simple Justice] * Are you an IP lawyer, especially a patent litigator? Here’s a symposium you should consider attending (featuring ATL columnist Gaston Kroub). [Markman Advisors] * Speaking of conferences, who wants to hang out with Lat in Las Vegas? Read on for details (plus video)…. Lat will be speaking next month at Avvo’s big Lawyernomics conference in Vegas. Here’s the agenda, here’s the registration from, and here’s Lat’s speaker spotlight video:

Why are lawyers at such a high risk for addiction? Our health and wellness columnist explains.

In-house columnist Mark Herrmann travels back to 1983, the year in which he graduated from law school, to survey the legal and political landscape.

LSAT application rebound.

Because rolling up and smoking your court summons might land you in the joint.

Because rolling up and smoking your court summons might land you in the joint.

Court documents probably make crappy rolling papers, but this kid wants to smoke his summons anyway.