There was some ambiguity about the professional fate of Robert Somma, the Boston-based bankruptcy judge who was arrested for drunk driving while wearing a black cocktail dress, fishnet stockings, and high heels. At first he said he was resigning. But after a groundswell of support, Judge Somma reconsidered his resignation.

We were hoping for his return. Sadly, it looks like that won't be happening. From the Boston Globe:

US Bankruptcy Court Judge Robert Somma, who resigned after his arrest on a drunken driving charge in February and then tried to rescind his resignation, will not be coming back, federal court officials said this afternoon.

"The United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit and Judge Robert Somma have agreed that he will not resume service on the United States Bankruptcy Court for Massachusetts but is leaving to pursue other endeavors," the Office of the Circuit Executive said in a one-paragraph statement.

We wonder: Was Judge Somma strong-armed into staying away from the bench, by those killjoys on the First Circuit? Stay tuned. Somma's lawyer, Robert Carpenter, told the Globe that "we may have our own statement to come out next week."

As for those "other endeavors," we're curious. Will he become a widely acclaimed drag performer? Or move to Florida and become a television judge? Or maybe combine the two, and become America's first cross-dressing TV judge?

P.S. We're all in favor of drag performance. In fact, we've been described as "the blogging equivalent of a very talented drag queen" -- one of our favorite compliments ever.

After drunken driving arrest, bankruptcy judge agrees to leave [Boston Globe]
Somma: On the Bench or Off? [Legal Blog Watch]

Judge Carlton Vines presides over traffic violations and DUIs in Chattooga County, Georgia. It's a tiny county with a population of just over 25,000. The local newspaper, The Summerville News, has an ongoing investigative series examining the county's drunk-driving phenomenon and growing number of DUI arrests.

Unfortunately, Judge Vines has become a part of the phenomenon. He was arrested in November of last year for driving drunk and leaving the scene of an accident after swerving into another car. The coppers just released the dash-cam video from the arrest. The man was trashed, slurring, and stumbling... though still cogent enough to refuse the breathalyzer.

From WBS TV:

Vines pleaded guilty to DUI charges in April. He has since spent three nights in jail, paid fines, done community service and was on house arrest.

On the tape, Vines can be heard admitting he has had "over the limit." At one point on the tape, an officer asks, "Do you remember the wreck you were involved in?" Vines can be heard responding, "I'm not going to admit or deny it but I will take responsibility."

A nolo plea -- or just good drunken logic? Vines is under voluntary suspension, and the Georgia State Judicial Commission gets to decide whether he returns to the bench.

Judge Vines makes some bizarre comment about sharecropping at the end of the YouTube video. Can someone from rural Georgia please explain?

Caught On Tape: Georgia Judge Arrested For DUI [WSB TV]
Drunk Judge Arrested [YouTube.com]

We couldn't choose between these two possible Lawyers of the Day, so we'll let them go head to head. You can decide who's the more deserving honoree.

In one corner, we have John Newsome, a district attorney in Colorado. Sources inside and outside the district attorney's office tipped off a local TV station to Newsome's carousing during office hours. From the Colorado Springs Gazette:

The television station aired its report Tuesday night after filming Newsome on a "recent afternoon" as he drank three 20-ounce beers and a 10-ounce beer during "work hours" over the course of less than two hours at Oscar's, a downtown Colorado Springs bar.

Newsome was then shown heading back to his office. An hour later, he drove his El Paso County-owned SUV to another bar, according to KOAA.

There, Newsome was reportedly seen drinking four more pints with Assistant District Attorney Amy Mullaney and then driving away. Mullaney was also drinking with Newsome earlier that day at Oscar's.

DA party-time! Woohoo. No criminal investigation, and he's running unopposed for reelection in November. Lucky guy.

In the other corner, we have Vito Fossella, who has a law degree from Fordham University. He's the U.S. congressman from New York who got busted for drunk driving in Virginia last week.

The DUI charge has led to the unraveling of his double life. Turns out the married father of three has a lady friend and lovechild in the D.C. region. From the New York Times:

Representative Vito J. Fossella, the Staten Island Republican who was arrested on drunken-driving charges in Virginia last week, acknowledged on Thursday that he had fathered a daughter, now 3, in an extramarital affair. But he declined to address questions about his political future.

Mr. Fossella, who has three children with his wife on Staten Island, issued a terse statement that said nothing about the events leading to his arrest, which occurred hours after he attended a White House reception celebrating the New York Giants’ victory in the Super Bowl.

At least he wasn't drinking during office hours.

Newsome: 'I sincerely apologize' [Colorado Springs Gazette]
'POP' GOES THE WEASEL VITO [New York Post]
Fossella Admits He Had an Extramarital Affair [New York Times]

Marc Dann is Ohio's attorney general... for now. But he won't be Case Western Reserve University's law school commencement speaker, per an e-mail from the dean this morning.

Dann was an ATL lawyer of the day honoree last month for running a dysfunctional office with staff accused of sexual harassment, DUIs, and ethics law violations. Oh, but there's more.

On Friday, Dann held a press conference where he revealed his affair with a staffer. Two of his staff were fired and two resigned last week, including the 28-year-old scheduler with whom Dann had the affair. If sleeping with the boss doesn't get you a raise and a promotion, what's the point? From the Cleveland Plain-Dealer:

Dann announced the affair at a news conference Friday morning, after investigators released a report on the sexual harassment investigation. The former state senator who once worked in a small Youngstown law firm blamed his inexperience and said he was not equipped to take over a state agency with more than 1,400 employees, including 400 lawyers.

"I don't know how many people here expected me to win the election, but I certainly was not among them. It was a surprise that I won," he said.

Saying that you didn't think you would actually win is the worst defense ever (and seems off-topic). Despite that, Dann says he plans to stay in office and clean up the mess. Good luck with that.

Five Ohio newspapers are calling for his head resignation. For ponderings on whether sex scandal politicians should resign, see Law and More and Vanity Fair. Case Western law prof Jonathan Adler wonders if Dann could save his career with a really good apology -- in song.

Dann had been slated to be Case Western Law School's commencement speaker on May 18, but the dean e-mailed the school this morning to announce Dann's withdrawal. Too bad. His speech could have been fun: "Hey kids, you too can use your Case Western degree to be a total f*#k-up, reward your friends with jobs, sleep with your scheduler, and tap state resources for personal use!"

Dann-related links, collected below. Dean Simson's email, after the jump.

Editorial Consensus: Dann Must Go [Volokh Conspiracy]
The Trials of Marc Dann [Volokh Conspiracy]
Dann should resign/be forced out if he's a lousy AG for OH, not because of That Woman et al. [Law and More]
Gov. Strickland on Attorney General scandal [Cleveland Plain Dealer Blog]
Dann draws more outrage [Dayton Daily News]
It's the Adultery, Stupid! [Vanity Fair]

Marc Dann has had a rough tenure as Ohio's attorney general. When the media start crafting timelines of your troubles, the end may well be nigh. One of Dann's biggest problems seems to be judgment calls. Such as when choosing staff members. The Cleveland Plain Dealer has a write-up on this stellar Dann staffer:

One of Attorney General Marc Dann's top managers, who is accused of sexual harassment, has a history of problems with cars and alcohol, including a drunken driving arrest months before he was hired and a smashed state car after.

Dann knew about the arrest because, according to State Highway Patrol records, he was the one who picked Anthony Gutierrez up at 2:30 in the morning at the Canfield post after Gutierrez blew a .149 on a blood-alcohol test nearly twice the legal limit.

Aren't staffers supposed to be the ones picking their drunk bosses up, and not the other way around?

Reflecting another poor hiring decision, Dann had to discipline his communications director for sending a "profane, abusive e-mail to a co-worker." His COMMUNICATIONS director.

The list of poor staffing choices goes on.

Dann's staff is not entirely to blame for his troubles. From the timeline:

June 2007: Dann, standing on a street in an upper-middle class neighborhood, spots a reporter who had written a story he didn't like. Dann says, "Hey Steve, write this down: Go (expletive) yourself!"

Maybe Dann's communications director suggested that.

Dann picked up his aide after DUI arrest [The Cleveland Plain Dealer]
Timeline of Marc Dann's troubles [Dayton Daily News]

Or at least his robes. A quick update on a recent Judge of the Day, from Robert Ambrogi over at Legal Blog Watch:

By all accounts, Robert Somma had been a top-notch U.S. bankruptcy judge since his appointment to the bench in 2004 and a top-notch bankruptcy practitioner for many years before that. The sense of many in the Boston area is that the 63-year-old's retirement Friday from his $158,000-a-year bench seat is a tragedy....

A footnote to this story is that a legal-blogger may have contributed to the judge's decision to resign.

No, not us! By the time we got to the story, it had been all over the news. Also, for the record, we fully support transvestism.

More after the jump.

There are reasons to read the New Hampshire Union Leader even after primary season is over. Check out this great article:

A Boston-based federal judge wore a black cocktail dress, fish-net stockings and high heels when police arrested him for drunk driving after he rear-ended a pickup truck last week, sources said.

U.S. Bankruptcy Court Judge Robert Somma, 63, struck a plea deal with the city Wednesday in which he pleaded no contest to a first-offense misdemeanor driving while intoxicated charge in Manchester District Court. In exchange, the judge agreed to pay $600 in fines and penalties and a 12-month license suspension....

The arresting officer made no mention of the judge's attire in the written report police provided to the media other than to note the judge "had a difficult time locating his license in his purse."

Two sources confirmed Somma was wearing a cocktail dress, women's hose and high heels when his Mercedes-Benz E320 sedan struck a pickup truck stopped at a red light on Elm Street about 11:29 p.m. on Feb. 6.

Whatever floats your boat, Your Honor. Judge not lest ye be judged.

Arrested judge wore dress, women's hosiery [New Hampshire Union Leader]

Last week was a busy one in terms of bonus news. In addition, we were prevented from publishing as much as we wanted by technical difficulties (which lie outside the jurisdiction of your undersigned blogger, a mere writer and not a tech person).

Our recent neglect of the "misbehaving lawyers" beat has given rise to a backlog of possible Lawyers of the Day. We've decided to clear the backlog by tossing out five nominees and having you vote on who should get the honor.

Click on each lawyer's name to read more about their alleged misadventures. Then vote on who should be our Lawyer of the Day.

1. Todd Paris: This North Carolina lawyer was held in contempt after a judge caught him reading Maxim [quasi-NSFW] in court. "When [Judge Kevin] Eddinger gave Paris a chance to respond he apologized and 'stated in his view the magazine was not pornography, was available at local stores and that he did not intend contempt,' the [contempt] order said."

2. Beth Modica: "A former suburban prosecutor and PTA president had sex with two underage boys, joined many other teens in booze and pot parties and kept it all a secret from her police chief husband, officials said Tuesday. Beth Modica, 44, was indicted on 35 counts alleging statutory rape, criminal sex acts, sex abuse and endangering children. Wearing an olive-gray suit and handcuffs, she pleaded not guilty at her arraignment in Rockland County Court and was ordered held on $75,000 bail."

3. Mikal Hanson: "Pierre police early Thursday morning arrested an assistant U.S. attorney, who is accused of drunken driving and speeding. Mikal Hanson, 52, an assistant U.S. attorney in Sioux Falls, was stopped by police shortly before 1 a.m. for speeding, said Pierre Police Chief Elton Blemaster. The arresting officer could smell alcohol on Hanson and asked him to perform field sobriety tests, Blemaster said. 'Mr. Hanson didn't complete them as instructed,' he said."

4. Canadian Senator Mobina Jaffer: "Liberal Senator Mobina Jaffer is under investigation by the Law Society of British Columbia for allegedly overbilling one of her legal clients, including charging for 30 hours of work in a single day.... Jaffer has been called before the law society to account for more than $6 million in legal bills charged to her former client, a Catholic missionary order known as the Oblates of Mary Immaculate."

5. Jay Grodner: From the Chicago Tribune (via Blackfive.net):

Jay Grodner, the Chicago lawyer who keyed a Marine's car in anger because the car had military plates and a Marine insignia, finally got his day in court last week. Grodner pleaded guilty in a Chicago courtroom packed with former Marines. They came to support Marine Sgt. Michael McNulty, whose car Grodner defaced in December, but who couldn't attend because he's preparing for his second tour in Iraq....

"You caused damage to this young Marine sergeant's car because you were offended by his Marine Corps license plates," said Judge [William] O'Malley....

"That's because there is a little principle that the Marine Corps has had since 1775," the judge continued. "When they fought and lost their lives so that people like you could enjoy the freedom of this country. It is a little proverb that we follow: "No Marine is left behind.

"So Sgt. McNulty couldn't be here. But other Marines showed up in his stead. Take him away," said the judge and former Marine.

So those are the five contestants. Here's the poll:

* SCOTUS to hear some pretty interesting cases next term. [Washington Post; New York Times; CNN]

* Apparently, Ross Perot owns the Magna Carta, for now. [CNN]

* Jack Bauer arrested for DUI, was allegedly speaking in an urgent, raspy tone. [MSNBC]

* Attorney sues Larry Birkhead for defamation. [MSNBC]

* Calls for campus paper editor to resign. [CNN]

Oh goodness. And you thought Paris Hilton was troubled. From the AP:

Lindsay Lohan, who just finished a second stint in rehab for substance abuse treatment, was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving early Tuesday, authorities said.

Lohan, who is already facing a drunken driving charge in Beverly Hills, was pulled over near the Santa Monica Police Department after authorities spotted her car chasing another vehicle.....

Authorities conducted a field sobriety test and then transported Lohan to the police department. The 21-year-old actress was booked on suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine, among other charges, [Sgt. Shane] Talbot said.

Police found cocaine in one of her pants pockets during a pre-booking search, Talbot said.

Summer associates can get pretty wild, especially after they've had a few drinks. But Lolita ain't got nothing on LiLo.

Law-and-economics types will appreciate this analysis, from Perez Hilton:

This could ruin Lindsay’s career! NO ONE is going to want to work with her now. And IF they do hire her, Lohan will most likely be forced to pay for her own insurance on films, which will be VERY COSTLY.

See, the market IS efficient! Even the market in alcoholic, coke-addicted young strumpets.

Lohan in Car Chase [TMZ.com]
It Was Cocaine!!!!!! [PerezHilton.com]
Lohan Booked on Suspicion of DUI [Associated Press]
Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI, Again [ABC7.com via Drudge Report]

Time for some celebrity DWI news. It's like your morning coffee: you can't get your day started without it.

First, troubled underage starlet Lindsay Lohan (near right) -- who is back in rehab, after a drunk driving arrest over the Memorial Day weekend -- allegedly suffers from OxyContin addiction, according to her estranged dad, Michael Lohan.

On the one hand, Lohan's felonious father may not be the most reliable source. But on the other hand, we're talking about Lindsay Lohan.

Second, an update on someone whose misadventures we have followed quite closely in these pages: Ann Banaszewski (far right), daughter of Justice Antonin Scalia (far right). From the Chicago Tribune:

A daughter of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia pleaded guilty Wednesday to drunken driving in Wheaton in February....

Banaszewski accepted a plea agreement with prosecutors and was sentenced by DuPage County Judge Daniel Guerin to 18 months of court supervision. She also was ordered to perform 140 hours of public service (of which 40 hours must be beneficial to children), attend counseling and treatment sessions, attend a victim-impact panel and pay $1,500 in fines and fees.

Will his daughter's brush with the law turn the crustily conservative Nino into a bleeding heart for criminal defendants? Stay tuned.

(Yes, we know -- Justice Scalia has handed down numerous rulings favorable to criminal defendants. E.g., Blakely v. Washington; Crawford v. Washington. But he's far from the most pro-defendant member of the Court.)

Lohan's Dad: Lindsay Hooked on OxyContin [Associated Press]
Justice's daughter pleads guilty to DUI [Chicago Tribune]
Scalia's daughter pleads guilty to drunken driving [Journal-Gazette / Times-Courier]

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Ann Banaszewski (scroll down)

* Michael Moore being investigated by DOT for possible violation of Cuba embargo while filming new movie "Sicko." [MSNBC]

* Purdue Pharma and former execs guilty of misleading consumers on OxyContin addiction risks. [MSNBC]

* Lawsuit focuses on Planned Parenthood and duty to warn. [AP]

* McNair arrested in DUI despite not driving. [SI.com]

* No charges for police officer and wife who made "special" brownies. [MSNBC]

Or Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's, actually. From the Los Angeles Times:

Don't get that jail cell ready for Paris Hilton just yet. Hilton's defense team has launched a last-ditch effort to keep her out of jail after a Los Angeles traffic court judge made international headlines by sentencing the socialite to 45 days in county jail for repeatedly driving while her license was suspended.

Her attorneys have filed a notice of appeal at the courthouse. Though the document does not lay out the grounds for the appeal, her attorney, Howard L. Weitzman, has said the sentence was far too harsh given Hilton's misdeeds.

We used to specialize in criminal appeals. But you need neither experience nor expertise to conclude that this argument is a legal loser. Here's a good quip from a prof at Loyola Law:

"I don't think the Founding Fathers had Paris Hilton's driving conviction in mind when they enacted the cruel and unusual punishment provision of the Constitution," said Loyola Law School professor Laurie Levenson.

But don't count Paris out just yet. More discussion, after the jump.

Hampton Inn is the dumpy and unacceptable no frills, budget-oriented brand within the Hilton Hotel family. But compared to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, California, where Paris Hilton will be serving out a 45-day sentence for violating the terms of her probation, a Hampton Inn looks like the Waldorf Towers.

At this grim county jail, don't look for a mint on your pillow. Expect some pubic hair from a "very masculine lesbian[]," and you're less likely to be disappointed.

From the New York Daily News (which could barely conceal its glee over Hilton's upcoming jail stint):

Hilton will have to say "goodbye" to dye jobs and cosmetics and "hello" to five-minute showers once a day. Her friends and family will only be able to talk to her through glass and her phone calls will be made on the jail's closely monitored pay phones.

Purse-pooch, Tinkerbell, will not be allowed to visit. And forget those designer duds she bought on Rodeo Drive. In the big house, Paris will have to make two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits last for a week.

Eh, no big deal -- Paris prefers romping around in the buff anyway. And she won't be fazed by the loss of privacy, since all the other inmates have already seen her naked.

More discussion, after the jump.

OUCH.

(We suspect that Justice Scalia's daughter handled herself much better during her recent DUI incident.)

DUI suspect does $1,100 worth of damage with his head [KSTP.com]