ERISA

ERISA Hotties: A Behind-the-Scenes Look

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erisa beauty queen.jpgTwo updates in our post-results coverage of ERISA hotties:
1. We are happy to report that, as requested by one of the winners, tiaras will be provided to the two winning ERISA hotties: Professor Bruce Wolk and Sarah E. Downie.
The tiaras will be furnished courtesy of acclaimed wedding tiara designer Christina Garcia. We will be contacting the winners to find out their shipping information.
2. Check out this hilarious email — which we and dozens of others received as a forwarded message. (We’ve deleted the endless string of email forwards that preceded the original message.)

I will send a serious email later, but first a frivolous one — I am 5 votes down in the ERISA Hottie Contest. The polls close at 1:00 your time. The leader has been sending me some rather snooty emails — it seems she’s ready to count me out and claim the crown.

So, I need to teach this girl a lesson — get your mom and dad to vote! Send the link to anyone good humored enough to help me win!

http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/09/erisa_hotties_your_female_nomi.php#more

We will leave it to you to guess the identity of the sender — but it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out.
Earlier: Prior ERISA Hotties coverage

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ERISA Hotties: Our Unsolicited Personal Opinions

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erisa beauty queen.jpgNow that our ERISA Hotties Contest is over, we can opine on the nominees without injecting bias into the proceedings. So we will. Here’s our own take on the male and female nominees for hottest ERISA lawyer in America.
On the men’s side, we acknowledge Professor Bruce Wolk as a worthy winner — and the boyishly adorable Jordan Backman as a deserving runner-up.
Our personal favorite, though, is the hunky, jaw-droppingly hot Malcolm Slee. In one of his pictures, he has a refined, “model-pretty” look; but in the other pic, he exudes an irresistible, rugged manliness. Such versatility is commendable.
But Malcolm only came in fourth, with 8 percent of the vote. In our humble opinion, he wuz robbed.
If we had to pick another ERISA hunk who didn’t get as many votes as he should have, we’d go with the Solicitor of Labor, Howard Radzely. Radzely got a measly 2 percent of the vote. But consider these after-the-fact testimonials:

“Howard Radzely can ‘solicit’ me any time, day or night!”

“[Howard Radzely] has an Adam’s apple the size of Montana. So if you go for the gawky awkward teenager barely legal look, he’s your man.”

(A “gawky, awkward, barely legal” hottie? Like, say, Phil Alito?)
On the women’s side, we felt that the top two women — Sarah Downie and Jennifer Stojak — merited their high placement. But we think that more votes should have gone to Heather Meade, Jessica Janov, and Rebekah Crawford.
Heather offers up a dark, sultry, Monica-esque beauty, to all who gaze upon her visage. Lisa Rhein — a sharp contrast to Heather, but equally appealing — is a super-cute, perky blonde, straight out of a teen movie. Jessica Janov looks like she’s part of the recent Invasion of the Russian Supermodels. And Rebekah Crawford, as noted in one of her testimonials, channels the screen goddesses of Hollywood’s golden age.
But these are just our opinions. You’ve picked your winning hotties — and they are fully deserving of their titles as the hottest ERISA lawyers in the U.S. of A. Congratulations once again, Professor Wolk and Sarah Downie!

ERISA Hotties: Prizes for the Winners

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erisa beauty queen.jpgOur ERISA Hotties Contest has only been over for a day — but some of you miss it already.
Fear not. The contest may be over, but the commentary isn’t. We’ll have a few more posts discussing the competition — including our personal views on which ERISA Hotties should have gotten more lovin’ from the electorate.
After the results were announced, we contacted our two winning hotties — Professor Bruce A. Wolk and Sarah E. Downie — for comment. We haven’t heard back from Professor Wolk yet, but Ms. Downie did have this acceptance speech to deliver:

Hi. That was one hard-fought battle. I would like to profoundly thank everyone who voted for me!

My boyfriend is interested in knowing whether I get a tiara for the victory. I also think that Professor Wolk would look great in a crown of some sort.

We agree wholeheartedly. The only thing cooler than an ERISA professor lounging on the hood of his Camry is an ERISA professor in a tiara lounging on the hood of his Camry.
And hey, guess what? Noted wedding tiara designer Christina Garcia is our cousin-in-law! (She’s married to our first cousin, Jerald Garcia.) We will contact her forthwith about providing tiaras for our winning hotties.
Once again, ATL sends its warmest congratulations to Bruce Wolk and Sarah Downie on their latest professional distinction. Time to update those CVs and résumés!
Christina Garcia: Tiaras of Distinction [official website]
Earlier: Prior ERISA Hotties coverage (scroll down)

ERISA Hotties: The Winners!!!

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sarah downie 3.JPGbruce wolk 2.gifWe received dozens of great nominations. We produced slates of twelve hunky men and twelve gorgeous gals — all of whom practice pension and employee benefit law.

Then we opened the polls. The candidates campaigned vigorously. Just as in any self-respecting election, there were allegations of irregularities.

It was a hard-fought battle, especially in the final hours. But we made it through. And three thousand votes later, we have two winners in our first annual ERISA Hotties Contest.
Congratulations to the two hottest ERISA lawyers in America:

PROFESSOR BRUCE A. WOLK

and

SARAH E. DOWNIE !!!

Sarah Downie and Professor Wolk are deserving champions. Downie’s fragile beauty calls to mind Audrey Hepburn — but with arresting, fiery red hair. And Professor Wolk, assuming an odalisque position on the hood of his Camry, proved irresistibly sinuous to the voters. (See photo below.)

As we previously stated, these results are final. Our nation survived the divisive Supreme Court decision in Bush v. Gore; but we doubt the Republic could survive Stojak v. Downie or Backman v. Wolk. So, in the interest of unity within the ERISA bar, let us all come together to celebrate our glorious winners.

(It’s worth noting, however, that both Downie and Wolk prevailed by significant — albeit not enormous — margins. You can review the final tallies for the men here, and for the women here.)

In closing, we’d like to thank all of you who contributed to make this contest such a fun and successful one: the people who nominated hot ERISA lawyers; the hot ERISA lawyers themselves, many of whom graciously spoke on the record about the race; and, finally, the thousands of voters who made this democratic process work.

And if you enjoyed this contest, please keep reading ATL. More hottie contests are on the way. And to all of you who feel that worthy ERISA hotties were overlooked in this year’s competition, worry not. There’s always next year!

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of ERISA hotties (scroll down)
bruce wolk 3.JPG

Professor Bruce Wolk, America’s hottest male ERISA lawyer. Check out that license plate: ERISA 74!

ERISA Hotties: This Is Exciting!

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erisa beauty queen.jpgLess than an hour remains for voting in our ERISA Hotties Contest. And it looks like things are going to be super-close!
On the women’s side, Jennifer Stojak has just edged ahead of Sarah Downie, who had been leading for the entire time until now. Right now they’re separated by fewer than 10 votes.
On the men’s side, Professor Bruce Wolk, who has also led the field since voting started, remains ahead of Jordan Backman — but just barely. Professor Wolk has 33 percent of the vote; Jordan is right behind him, with 31 percent.
Yes, we know: some of you are encountering difficulties in voting, which we regret. But before you email us about them, please read this post, A Note on the Voting, which explains why they are (probably) not within our control.
Thanks! Check back soon for the official results.
(And don’t forget to vote for Legal Eagle Wedding Watch’s “Couple of the Month,” which you can do by clicking here.)

ERISA Hotties: A Note on the Voting

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erisa beauty queen.jpgOnly a few hours are left for you to vote in our ERISA Hotties Contest. Per our prior announcement, the voting will end at 1 p.m. today. Click here to vote on the men, and here to vote on the women (if you haven’t done so already).
A number of you have emailed us to report that when you try to vote, you receive an “You’ve already voted’ message, even if it’s the first time you’ve tried voting. Unfortunately, this is a technical issue, and one that lies beyond our control — it’s controlled by Pollhost, which is administering this poll. We made an inquiry to Pollhost about this problem, and we received this explanation:

Users are restricted from voting more than once a combination of IP address and cookies. Sometimes a single office shares an IP address and a user is upset when their co-workers are unable to vote. The way this works is the best possible means available.Pollhost

We regret the inability of the polling software to distinguish between different computers within certain officers. But, as noted, there’s nothing we can do about it…
As we stressed last week, all results are final. Whether we’re talking about ERISA hotties or presidential candidates, this truth should be kept in mind: Our voting system may be imperfect; but it’s the only one we’ve got.
Earlier: Prior ERISA Hotties coverage

Honorary ERISA Hottie: Jim Telfer

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jim telfer.jpegAs we mentioned when announcing the nominees, we received many more ERISA hotties than we were able to include in our contest (which ends tomorrow). We also received a number of excellent submissions after the close of nominations. As we explained to those who submitted belated nominations, we adopted a bright-line rule of no late submissions (because including them would require us to redo the poll, and we are lazy).
We would, however, like to single out one ERISA hottie who didn’t make the original slate of nominees, but who received a huge outpouring of after-the-fact support: Jim Telfer, an ERISA partner in the San Francisco office of Orrick. Here are some of the comments we received about him:

I’d like to nominate Jim as hottest ERISA lawyer in America. He’s hot on the inside and out–hilarious, brilliant, fascinating and hip.

I Vote for Jim because he is sexy!!!!!

Good teeth. Great hair.

Check him out–you’ll see. Quite simply the hottest ERISA attorney around.

We regret that we were unable to include the smokin’ hot Mr. Telfer in this year’s contest. But we hereby declare him an “honorary ERISA hottie,” based on the strength of these many testimonials.
We expect ATL’s ERISA Hotties Contest to become a long-running tradition. So, to all you fans of Mr. James Telfer, please keep on reading this site — and when next year rolls around, be sure to send in your (lengthy and timely) raves!
Jim Telfer bio [Orrick]

ERISA Hotties: The Current Standings

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erisa beauty queen.jpgJust 24 hours remain in our ERISA Hotties Contest. As we previously announced, we’re closing the polls tomorrow at 1:00 p.m. Eastern time. So if you haven’t done so already, you need to get out there and vote. Click here to vote on the men, and here to vote on the women.
Since our last report, the races have tightened further. Sarah Downie still leads the women’s field, with 25 percent of the vote; but Jennifer Stojak, at 23 percent, is nipping at her Manolo-clad heels. Meanwhile, on the men’s side, Jordan Backman is gaining fast on Professor Bruce Wolk — 28 percent to 30 percent.
All this goes to show that it ain’t over ’til it’s over. We expect both races to come down to the wire. So candidates, you need to make a last-minute push, locating voters with fresh IP addresses who haven’t already cast their ballots.
A message to the field: No litigation, please. All results will be final. Good luck!

ERISA Hotties: A Weekend of Campaigning

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erisa beauty queen.jpgThe polls in our ERISA Hotties Contest will remain open throughout the weekend. In fact, as we previously mentioned, they’ll stay open until Tuesday. Click here to vote on the men, and here to vote on the women (if you haven’t done so already).
With a few more days of voting, there’s ample time for laggards to catch up — if they campaign hard enough. Right now, the women’s race is very competitive: Sarah Downie has 29 percent of the vote, but Jennifer Stojak isn’t far behind, with 23 percent. Heather Meade is running third, with 11 percent. At this early stage, the percentage margins aren’t large in absolute numbers: Downie and Stojak are separated by under 20 votes.
Meanwhile, on the men’s side, Professor Bruce A. Wolk has driven his Camry — vanity plate “ERISA 74″ — out to an early lead (31 percent). But the good professor’s lead is much narrower than it once was, and Jordan Backman, at 24 percent, is within striking distance. Michael Maricco and Malcolm Slee are running third and fourth, with 13 and 12 percent of the vote, respectively.
We’ve heard back from more of the nominees (a number of them off-the-record, sadly). But Sarah Downie and Jennifer Stojak were willing to comment on the record. Check out their statements, after the jump.

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ERISA Hotties: When the Polls Will Close

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erisa lawyers.jpegOur ERISA Hotties Contest is definitely steaming up the windows at pension law offices around the country. Our email inbox is overflowing with ERISA erotica. Apparently, many of you want to engage in some “prohibited transactions” with our bevy of ERISA beauties…
(If you haven’t done so already, you can vote on the ERISA women here, and the ERISA men here. Knock yourselves out!)
We’ve received some emails asking about when the voting will close. The polls will close on Tuesday, September 12, at 1 PM (Eastern time). We’ve chosen this date to allow the candidates some time to campaign (e.g., through blast emails to the entire firm, telephone calls to internet-savvy grandmothers, etc.). We’ve chosen this time to allow West Coast readers to vote one last time when they get into the office that morning.
As we did with the men, we contacted all of the female contestants for comment. We haven’t heard back from them yet, but we’ll let you know if and when we do.
We did hear back from one more of the male candidates, however: the hunky Jordan Backman, currently in second place (but gaining fast on Professor Wolk). Jordan’s gracious, Oscar-ready statement appears after the jump.

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ERISA Hotties: Your Female Nominees

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erisa lawyers.jpegWith apologies for the delay, here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for: announcement of the female nominees in our first annual ERISA Lawyer Hotties Contest. (You can review and vote upon the male nominees here.)
We originally planned on having ten women as finalists. But as we did with the men, due to the strength of the field, we decided to go up to a dozen.
(You know what that means… pictorial calendars!!! A commenter suggests the proceeds could go to charity. How about the woefully underfunded PBGC?)
As we did with the men, we picked our twelve female finalists based on (1) their photographs and (2) reader testimonials about them. We apologize to all of you who took the time to nominate an ERISA attorney who doesn’t appear here. Given the large field of ERISA babes, making the final cut wasn’t easy.
Review the pictures and testimonials for the female finalists — and cast your vote for America’s Hottest Female ERISA Lawyer — after the jump.

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ERISA Hotties: Messages from Your Male Nominees

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erisa lawyers.jpegOur ERISA Hotties Contest is in full swing (at least on the male side; female nominees coming soon). To review the field and cast your vote, click here.
Last night, like the responsible journalists that we are, we contacted all of the nominated male hotties for comment:

Dear ERISA lawyer:

Congratulations. You have been selected as a finalist in Above the Law’s first annual “ERISA Hottie Contest,” our quest to find the most attractive pension-and-employee-benefit attorneys in the United States. You can check out the contest here:

http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/09/erisa_hotties_your_male_nomine_1.php

If you would like to comment on this honor, or if you have a “campaign message” you would like to disseminate, please let us know, and we will communicate it to the public. If you have no comment, that’s fine as well. But please be advised that we cannot accept requests to be withdrawn from the competition.

Thank you for your time and kind consideration. Good luck!

Best regards,
David Lat

We’re still waiting to hear back from most of the competitors, but we’ve already received responses from two of them: Michael Maricco and Professor Bruce A. Wolk. Check out what they had to say, after the jump.

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