How many push-ups can RBG do? Probably more than you can.
How do federal judges maintain taut abs and tight buns underneath their robes? They all have their own special methods.
For some, it’s about diet. Chief Judge Alex Kozinski, for example, has a four-word diet: “Few carbs, less sugar.”
Other judges believe in aerobic exercise. The ranks of runners include retired Justice David H. Souter, whose exercise regimen turned him into a judicial hottie (“Certiorari is GRANTED to that hot, lean body!”); Judge J. Harvie Wilkinson (4th Cir.), whose failure to cross train got critcized by President Bush during a Supreme Court interview; Judge Denny Chin (2d Cir.), a veteran marathoner; and Judge Diarmuid O’Scannlain (9th Cir.), my former boss.
But maybe running is for wimps? For the women of One First Street, weight training is the order of the day. Let’s meet the personal trainer helping two of the justices get HUGE….
Many of our readers are busy Biglaw attorneys, and almost as a rite of passage, many of them have come home from work late at night, showered and gotten completely dressed and ready for the next day, and slept in their clothes for a few hours, if only because they knew they wouldn’t have the time or energy to complete their morning routines before returning to the office.
If this sounds like an enjoyable lifestyle, then more power to you. For others, a more relaxing life beckons each and every day, but only some are brave enough to heed its call. When the art of relaxation summoned this corporate lawyer, she listened, and managed to turn it into a successful business opportunity as the founder of Higher Ground Yoga.
If you’re in search of some zen, this stealth lawyer may be able to assist you….
Although I enjoy the occasional aerobics class, I’ve not yet succumbed to Zumba. My colleague Staci, however, is a fan. She describes it as “the latest dance fitness craze,” as well as “the only dance class where people show up wearing makeup and fashionable workout gear.”
Alas, police in a small Maine town allege that some men should have worn more clothing to the local Zumba studio. The Kennebunk police department has accused Alexis Wright, a 29-year-old Zumba instructor, with running a prostitution ring out of her exercise studio. They claim that she had more than 100 clients and that her illicit sex business generated $150,000 over 18 months.
Let’s have a look at the alleged “Zumba prostitute” — who is, not surprisingly, rather attractive — and learn more about the allegations against her. There are a number of legal angles to this story….
This is as close as I came to hiking up that mountain.
If somebody suggested I go on a hike for fun, I’d probably punch him in the face. Since when is walking fun? To me, calling a hike a summer associate “event” is like calling the Bataan Death March a hike.
Ed. note: This is the latest column by our newest writer, Anonymous Partner. In case you missed his prior posts, they are collected here.
We all know how difficult to stay at a healthy weight while living the Biglaw lifestyle. Too many hours sitting down, with desk drawers nicely stocked for a quick bite in between phone calls. Sitting inside office buildings all day, with easy access to vending machines stocked with soda and junk food. Carb-heavy breakfasts for client meetings and lateral interview sessions. Food orgies masquerading as CLE sessions and firm meetings. Business development lunches and dinners at fancy restaurants with comprehensive wine and scotch lists. Seamless Web. Two cities, three depositions, one week — equaling plane snacks, room service, and more restaurants. Year in, year out, for a decade or two or three. No wonder your typical Biglaw partner has seen better days waistline-wise.
I know firsthand that it is not easy to drop those Biglaw pounds. But the effort is worth it. In my case, it took some real discipline to arrest what threatened to be a constant addition of one or two pounds a year. I was getting chunky, and as I noted in my first column, I only saw extremes in my older colleagues. I am not a runner, and while working out at home added on some muscle, there was no way I was going to see real results without changing my eating (and drinking) habits.
Everyone has their favorite weight loss tips. Here’s what has worked for me, in terms of keeping the extra pounds away….
This scale might not be just, but it's usually truthful.
Recently, I decided I wanted to lose some weight. Not a lot of weight — that would require an entire lifestyle change and result in me eating a lawn or a salad or something. I just wanted to take off the weight I gained from quitting smoking. I asked erstwhile advice columnist Marin what to do, and she simply suggested that I stop drinking soft drinks. I probably go through five Cokes a workday, and that doesn’t include however much I pour into my rum at night. And I don’t drink Diet Coke because it doesn’t taste like Coke so much as it tastes like carbonated liquid s**t.
I ignored Marin and went online. There I found a true cacophony of the dumbest advice ever collected. Searching for porn on the internet results in a more grounded reality than searching for weight loss advice. From magic pills to magic frozen foods and magic workout tapes that can allegedly turn you into an elite kickboxer on steroids in 20 minutes a day, the internet is replete with products that do not work and faulty advice. If I had some venture capital, I’d design an app that comes out of the computer screen and smacks the food out of your mouth every time you search for “weight loss” on Google. It would work.
Not surprisingly, weight loss advice tailored for “professionals” or “lawyers” is equally dumb and unhelpful. Lawyers, especially Biglaw lawyers, have some unique challenges when battling to stay physically respectable. One of those challenges is being too smart for stupid weight loss tips….
But don’t judge this book by its cover, because she has very high aspirations — she wants to become the next Nancy Grace or the future Judge Judy. And, of course, she thinks that she’ll be able to rise to the occasion in no time flat. Why? Because she’s “prettier than they are.” Beauty Plastic surgery from daddy certainly has its perks.
Since graduating from the University of Houston Law Center in 2011, Erica’s been working it out mentally and physically. “Dr. Phil” has endorsed her career as an Entertainment Legal expert, and she plans to take the Texas and California bar exams.
Unfortunately, as we all know, it’s hard out there for a recent law school graduate. Hey, if you can’t get a job, make one for yourself. And like Kanye West, Erica wants to help you get right for the summer with her Stiletto Bikini Blast Workout DVD. “Because who wants to wear a bikini without stilettos?”
* Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan apologized before a Senate panel for his agency’s prostitution scandal. We bet that you’d be “deeply disappointed” too if your employees were caught stiffing a hooker on her bill. [Miami Herald]
* Day four of jury deliberations in the John Edwards campaign finance trial closed yesterday without a verdict. The former presidential candidate is probably just waiting to pack it in, get this jury declared hung, and call it a day. [CNN]
* “This case is maybe something like a near disaster for Oracle.” A jury ruled unanimously that Google didn’t infringe Oracle’s Java patents in developing its Android software. Maybe they weren’t evil after all. [Bloomberg]
* A record low of 41% of Americans call themselves “pro choice” when it comes to abortions, and only a little more than half think it should be legal under “certain circumstances.” What is this, Roe v. World? [Reuters]
* Chief Judge Jonathan Lippman put together a task force to make recommendations on how to implement New York’s new pro bono prerequisite. Please let them take law school clinic hours. [Corporate Counsel]
* Remember the lawyer who sued his posh fitness club over its failure to provide free breakfast? Not only is his suit now toast, but he also has to fork over some cash to the club’s lawyers. [New York Daily News]
As a lawyer, you’re probably looking for a way to cool down after the work day is over. You’re probably looking for a way to rid yourself of all of the pent up angst and aggression that you’ve accumulated throughout the day in the office.
Put down the bottle, alkie, because we’ve got a different solution for you. Maybe you should consider taking this lovely litigatrix’s lead, and join the local roller derby team. After all, you get to “slam into people,” and that’s what sold her on the crazy idea.
Ms. JD is hosting their 2nd annual cocktail benefit to raise money for the Global Education Fund. The event will be held on August 21, 2014 at 111 Minna in San Francisco. Our goal is to raise $20,000 to fund the legal educations of four dedicated law students in Uganda who count on our support to continue their studies at Makerere University during the 2014-15 academic year.
The Global Education Fund enable womens in developing countries to pursue legal educations who otherwise would not have access to further education. According to the World Bank, investment in education for girls has one of the highest rates of return to promote development. In Uganda, more than 45% of women over the age of 25 have no schooling at all, and men are more than twice as likely as women to have access to higher education. Together, we can work to end educational inequality. For more information about the program, please visit http://ms-jd.org/programs/global-education-fund/
Ed. note: The Asia Chronicles column is authored by Kinney Recruiting. Kinney has made more placements of U.S. associates, counsels and partners in Asia than any other recruiting firm in each of the past seven years. You can reach them by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
We at Kinney Asia have made a number of FCPA / White Collar US associate placements in Hong Kong / China thus far in 2014. Most of such placements have been commercial litigation associates from major US markets, fluent in Mandarin, switching to FCPA / White Collar litigation. Some have already had FCPA experience, but those are difficult candidates for firms to find (this will change in coming years as US firms are now promoting FCPA / White Collar to their 2L summers who are fluent in Mandarin and have an interest in transferring to China at some point).
Legal Week quoted Kinney’s Head of Asia, Evan Jowers, extensively in the following relevant article here.
There is a new trend in the market, though, where mid-level transactional US associates, fluent in spoken Mandarin and written Chinese, are interviewing for and in some cases landing junior FCPA / White Collar spots in Hong Kong / China at very top tier US firms.
When the LexisNexis Cloud Technology Survey results were reported earlier this year, it showed that attorneys were starting to peer less skeptically into the future, and slowly but surely leaning more toward all the benefits the law cloud has to offer.
Because let’s face it, plenty of attorneys are perhaps a bit too comfortable with their “system” of practice management, which may or may not include neon highlighters, sticky notes, dog-eared file folders, and a word processing program that was last updated when the term “raise the roof” was still de rigueur.