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* When Dewey need to hire our own lawyers? Now would be good. As D&L leaders mull bankruptcy options, more than 50 former partners are expected to hire Mark Zauderer to defend them against potential clawback claims. [New York Law Journal]

* Day three of jury deliberations in the John Edwards campaign finance trial came and went without a verdict. The former presidential candidate must be wishing that he hadn’t came and went, because then there wouldn’t be a trial at all. [ABC News]

* Yet another law firm is walking away scot-free from the Dreier drama without losing a single dime. Ruskin Moscou Faltischek was able to get Fortress Investment Group’s case tossed on appeal. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* A Facebook investor has sued NASDAQ, claiming that the stock exchange bungled the social networking site’s IPO. With FB’s stock price dropping as we speak, he’s seeking class-action status. Like. [Bloomberg]

* Nafissatou Diallo amended her civil suit against Dominique Strauss-Kahn to include a claim alleging his “animus towards women.” Really, she just wants to introduce evidence of DSK’s sordid sexual past. [Reuters]

Should Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg have gotten a prenup before he got married?

* With more allegations of misconduct revealed, the Canadian Judicial Council met to discuss Justice Lori Douglas’s sex scandal inquiry. Unlike her legs in her nude picture spread, this media circus will likely close in July. [Winnipeg Free Press] * “I want to apologize. Obviously, mistakes were made.” Admitting you’ve got a problem is just the first step. Greenberg Traurig’s executive director apologized for the Biglaw firm’s apparent screw-ups in a Rothstein-related trial. [Miami Herald] * Blind Chinese dissident Chen Guangcheng will be enrolling at NYU Law School on a fellowship. The administration is giving him a ritzy faculty apartment that comes complete with a kitchen full of Chinese food. He already knows how to eat like a law student. [New York Times] * Facebook is being sued in an amended consolidated class-action complaint for $15B over privacy issues, but Mark Zuckerberg was too busy getting married to Priscilla Chan to let it bother him. [Bloomberg] * “What [the f**k] comes next?” That’s what law school grads asked themselves when their commencement speakers tried to slap on a happy face and speak positively about the job market. [Connecticut Law Tribune] * But perhaps future law school grads will be able to find jobs more easily thanks to class offerings geared toward in-house counsel lawyering skills. Keep on dreaming that impossible dream. [Washington Post] * How does a small-time DUI attorney from California go from being an unknown to being a household name overnight? By filing a lawsuit filled with tawdry allegations against actor John Travolta. [Los Angeles Times]

* This NYU Law professor’s apparent hypocrisy makes me want to chew on gravel. Seems like he has earned the digital tar and feathering he’s getting. [Inside the Law School Scam] * So, Facebook went public today. The life of Facebook’s GC is about to change in big, big ways. [Corporate Counsel] * The city […]

* Rob me once, shame on you; rob me twice, shame on me? Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer was robbed for a second time, but this time as the victim of a burglary on May 4. [Thomson Reuters News & Insight]

* Dewey know when this ship is finally going to capsize (so we can stop making these puns)? Two of D&L’s Hong Kong partners have decided to defect to DLA Piper, and more may be joining them soon. [Asian Lawyer]

* He might’ve been a “bad husband,” but that doesn’t mean he’s guilty. The jury in John Edwards’s campaign finance trial will begin deliberating today. Let’s see if they convict him of being more than an adulterer. [CNN]

* After his citizenship stunt, Eduardo Saverin can look forward to being defriended by the United States — not like that’s a bad thing, because to be honest, the movie version of him is much cuter. [New York Daily News]

* And this is why lawyers shouldn’t try to be funny. Safeway’s General Counsel, Robert Gordon, is being branded a sexist for telling a recycled joke about pigs and D.C.’s most powerful women. [Corporate Counsel]

* A three month suspension has been recommended for a former Treasury Department attorney who attempted to steal ties from Nordstrom. What, he couldn’t spring for a Neiman’s run? [National Law Journal]

* If you bought those stupid ass Skechers Shape-Up shoes in the hope that your booty would look like Kim Kardashian’s, you can get a piece of the $40M settlement. Not bitter, not at all. [Los Angeles Times]

One of Mark Zuckerberg's old Harvard classmates sued the producers of The Social Network for "defamation by omission." He said he was just too important to be left out of the Oscar-winning film…

* Andrew Sweat claims fear of concussions made him hang ‘em up and go to law school. I’m not saying he shouldn’t be scared of football, I’m saying he should be worried about law school, too. [Deadspin] * Studying for the LSAT helps your brain. No really. It can even make you smart enough to avoid law school all together. [LSAT Blog: Ace the LSAT] * Looks like Jamie Dimon decided to send in The Wolf. [Dealbreaker] * How famous do I have to be before weight loss companies compete to make me take their diets for free (plus hire me a personal trainer) so they can say their weight loss program “works”? Surely, I’m fat enough. [WSJ Law Blog] * Instead of making laws against bullying, parents could also be less lazy and just learn how to use Facebook. [Orlando Sentinel] * Lawyer on lawyer name-calling. [Legal Newsline] * Hey, you’re going to be able to buy liquor on Sundays in Connecticut. Cool. Good to see that laws based entirely on weird, religious tradition are being found to be stupid. [WTNH] * This is a fun time to think about law firm branding, don’t you think? Sorry, let me make that a little more clear: Dewey think this is a fun time to think about law firm branding? [Law and More] * Looking ahead to the Facebook IPO in Blawg Review, which is also posted on Facebook this week. [Preaching to the Perverted via Blawg Review]

Bouncers in the U.K. have started cross-checking IDs with patrons' Facebook profiles. I smell a privacy dispute…

* The Am Law numbers are out. PPP is up 3 percent. Dollar, dollar bill y’all. [American Lawyer] * Hasbro — the makers of Nerf guns, a.k.a. the best toys ever — apparently hired some Baker & McKenzie attorneys to intimidate a guy who runs an Australian Nerf fan site. I hope they “intimidated” him with Nerf guns, because it would be funny, and no one would actually get hurt. [Crikey] * At 85 years old, Congressman (and Georgetown Law grad) John Dingell learned that “teabagging” doesn’t mean what he thinks it means. Better late than never! [The Daily Dolt] * I’m surprised that there are enough businesses horrible brave enough to ask for potential employees’ personal electronic information that it necessitates legislation. But I’m not complaining. [RedTape / MSNBC] * Finding out that repeated concussions and head injuries may cause long-term brain damage is only surprising to people who have suffered repeated concussions and head injuries. [LexisNexis] * A 14-year-old Georgia girl and her parents have sued some of her classmates because they acted like bitches on Facebook. Are these girls bullies? Yep. Is it the proper solution to turn the situation into 90210: Courtroom Edition? I still don’t think so. [Threat Level / Wired] * Support local businesses, like your high-end neighborhood brothel. The Manhattan Madam is now accepting donations… to help her make bail by Mother’s Day. [Dealbreaker]

The ACLU is defending three teenage girls who were expelled for saying on Facebook that they wanted to kill people. Here's why they shouldn't have been expelled…

* Professor Brian Tamanaha: “Not since 1986-1987 have law schools seen total applicant numbers this low.” Good news, or bad news? Actually, a bit of both. [Balkinization via Instapundit] * Musical chairs: Michael Chepiga, the retired Simpson partner and erstwhile Broadway playwright, has a new and unusual job. [Am Law Daily] * Elsewhere in job […]

* With help from Fenwick & West, Facebook snatched up Instagram in a $1B deal that closed in just 54 hours. That’s a big accomplishment, but the bigger one was valuing a company that helps f**k up your photos at such a high price. [Am Law Daily]

* Senator Dick Durbin is trying to collect stories about soul-crushing law school debt in an effort to reform lending laws, but law students and new lawyers aren’t speaking up about the problem. Hey, Dick, it’s time to start reading Above the Law. [National Law Journal]

* Apparently sarcasm is lost upon mention of George Zimmerman, so let’s play this one straight. The man who shot and killed Trayvon Martin has set up a website to solicit money for his defense fund. Actually, that’s a pretty great punchline on it’s own. [MSNBC]

* A judge has refused to reduce accused “Millionaire Madam” Anna Gristina’s $2M bail. With her alleged clientele, you’d think she’d be able to afford it. Come on, John Edwards gets $400 haircuts. He’s probably willing to pay top dollar for his call girls. [Bloomberg]

* Amanda Bynes wasn’t drunk on alcohol, she was drunk on emotions, claims her daddy. That’s a defense that will totally stand up in court on a DUI charge. [New York Daily News]

Just another example of why your Facebook profile is never really private…

* “I think that you know what the president said … was appropriate.” While the DOJ scrambles to meet Judge Smith’s memo deadline, Attorney General Eric Holder is busy defending Obama’s con law faux pas. [CNN]

* Six more partners have fled from Dewey & LeBoeuf, bringing the grand total of partner defections to at least 46 since January. Good Lord, somebody needs to get this firm a freakin’ tourniquet. [Wall Street Journal]

* Facebook filed a motion to dismiss Paul Ceglia’s ownership claims, but he isn’t going anywhere soon. Ceglia’s got two months to submit expert reports as to the authenticity of his fake contract. [Associated Press]

* Joe Jamail, America’s richest practicing lawyer, donated his $3M law library to TSU’s Thurgood Marshall School of Law. Now students can learn more so they don’t have to sue over being graded on a curve. [Fox]

* McDonald’s doesn’t have to worry about its G-rated Happy Meal toys in California anymore. It’s that XXX-rated lawsuit over a former employee’s “Filet-O-Fish” that the company’s really got to keep an eye on. [Reuters]

Facebook goes after an internet commenter for, well, we aren't sure exactly what…

Hey, jurors, turn your phones off. Turn them off!

Attorneys for Facebook went on the offensive yesterday, filing a bold motion to dismiss Paul Ceglia‘s lawsuit, which claims a 50 percent ownership stake in the company.

* Was the Obamacare case brought prematurely? Did the Supreme Court’s judicial intervention come too soon? Yesterday’s arguments before SCOTUS can be summed up in four simple words: “That’s what she said.” [New York Times]

* Howrey going to get out of this one? The defunct firm’s bankruptcy trustee, Allan Diamond, is trying to decide whether he’ll be bringing adversary claims against the dissolution committee and its members. [Am Law Daily]

* U.S. News is doing what the American Bar Association refuses to do: make law schools its b*tch. Listen up, administrators, because your next “reporting error” could cost you your ranking. [National Law Journal]

* Armed with a treasure trove of new evidence, Facebook has moved to dismiss Paul Ceglia’s lawsuit. What does his lawyer from Milberg have to say? A hacker planted all of the evidence, duh. [Wall Street Journal]

* Apparently Dominique Strauss-Kahn’s got hos in different area codes. He’s been keeping his pimp hand strong — so strong, that he’s been charged with aggravated procurement of prostitutes. [Bloomberg]

* Broke your nose trying to walk through a glass wall at the Apple store and now you’re suing for $1M? That’s an app for that! It’s called common sense, and for a limited time only, it’s being offered free of charge. [Forbes]

What do you do when a prospective employer wants to login to Facebook -- as you -- during a job interview? Weep and gnash your teeth? Yeah, that's what I thought...

* Yahoo! continues to try to save its fading empire… by filing a patent lawsuit against Facebook. [Dealbook/New York Times]

* Dispatch from SXSW: employing homeless people as Wi-Fi hotspots. I see no problems here. [New York Times]

* Dick Cheney has canceled a trip to Toronto. Because Canada is “too dangerous.” It’s actually kind of reassuring that the former Vice President, who drunkenly shot his friend in the face with a shotgun, is just as much as a wuss as the liberals he has mocked for the last 12-odd years. [National Post]

* It’s my jury and I’ll tweet if I want to, tweet if I want to. You would tweet too, if it happened to you. [Wall Street Journal Law Blog]

* A new United Nations report says Wikileaks suspect Bradley Manning endured “cruel, inhuman and degrading” treatment during the months he was incarcerated before his trial. The report comes just in time for the Department of Defense to completely ignore it and continue throwing the book at Manning. [Threat Level/Wired]