'And then I told him I'd file a motion to compel his a**....'
It’s important to think about — and not just think about, but save for — your retirement. This is especially true now that Social Security is looking less than alluring. (When I see that money taken out of my paycheck, I just kiss it goodbye, forever.)
When it comes to providing for associates and other employees, most large law firms take a fairly straightforward approach: they offer 401(k) accounts, but no matching employer contributions. One of the few Biglaw firms that provided a match, K&L Gates, stopped that policy back in 2007.
With respect to retirement provisions for partners, there’s more variation from firm to firm. Some shops provide for retired partners in very generous fashion. For example, retired partners at Wachtell Lipton can receive annual seven-figure payouts for many years after leaving the firm (although sources at my former firm tell me some of this money represents a return of capital to the retired partners, and as such will vary from partner to partner).
A million-dollar retirement benefit is no doubt very pleasing. But at other firms, aging partners are less content with their arrangements….
Yesterday we covered the divorce of golf sensation Tiger Woods and his stunningly beautiful wife, former model Elin Nordegren. We noted that Nordegren was represented by McGuireWoods. Although McGuireWoods is a top firm, especially in its home state of Virginia, it’s “not known for its matrimonial practice,” as Nathan Koppel of the WSJ Law Blog observed.
How did McGuireWoods land this plum assignment? Several of you pointed it out in comments, and Brian Baxter reported on it over at Am Law Daily. The short answer: family ties. To quote the slogan of McGuireWoods: “Relationships… drive results.”
A statement issued yesterday by the divorcing couple noted that Nordegren was represented by, among others, a McGuireWoods attorney by the name of Josefin Lonnborg. The divorce was filed in Bay County Circuit Court, Florida; Josefin Lonnborg practices in London. Why was a corporate lawyer out of the U.K. involved in a U.S. matrimonial case?
Here’s why: Josefin Lonnborg and Elin Nordegren are twin sisters. And despite her impressive legal credentials — Lonnborg speaks fluent English and Swedish, has worked at law firms in Stockholm and London, and has a Master of Laws degree from the London School of Economics — she is more than just “lawyer hot.”
Yes, we know: pictures or it didn’t happen. So, pictures.
Warning: although the images below are perfectly safe for work, gentlemen may wish to be seated at desks before viewing, to avoid unseemly displays of… enthusiasm.
But not because they brought a megalomaniacal murderer into the world. We’re not talking about Adolf Hitler, the deceased German dictator, but about Adolf Hitler Campbell, a little boy living in New Jersey.
The idea of some poor kid running around with the name “Adolf Hitler” might be amusing on its own, but the story here is also serious and sad. The AP reports:
A New Jersey couple who gave their children Nazi-inspired names should not regain custody of them, a state appeals court ruled Thursday, citing the parents’ own disabilities and the risk of serious injury to their children.
The state removed Heath and Deborah Campbell’s three small children from their home in January 2009. A month earlier, the family drew attention when a supermarket refused to decorate a birthday cake for their son, Adolf Hitler Campbell.
First they won’t let him have Leningrad; now he can’t get a birthday cake. Poor Adolf Hitler just can’t catch a break.
So what did the New Jersey appellate court decide?
How is everybody doing this day after bigotry was dealt a setback? Based on an Above the Law reader poll, about 80 percent of you think that Chief Judge Vaughn Walker (N.D. Cal.) did the right thing when he struck down California’s Proposition 8.
So gay people in California may soon be able to engage in the lovely “sh** or get off the pot” conversation that dominates the life of every guy who has been dating the same girl for more than a couple of years. Yay, congratulations!
But are gays and lesbians really sure they want marriage equality? After the cake, the reception, and the honeymoon, there are a bunch of… obligations that attach to marriage. Just look at New York. We don’t even have gay marriage here, and yet same-sex partners will find themselves on the hook for all sorts of things…
It’s common for a spouse to claim that a divorce lawyer left him with nothing but the shirt on his back. But it is the rare divorce attorney who returns the favor and takes her shirt off. We’ve extensively documented the briefs and bustline of the well-endowed Corri Fetman. But today we’ve got a divorce lawyer whose résumé isn’t quite so inflated.
(Warning: This should go without saying, but in case there is a freaking idiot out there, the next link is NSFW — Not Safe for Work.)
Meet Playboy’s “Employee of the Month”[NSFW] for July, Kimberly Kourt. Ms. Kourt — I’ll go on a diet if that’s her real name — says she’s a family lawyer, but real classy-like:
“I pride myself on always being professional and appropriate, right down to what I wear in the courtroom,” says sexy trial lawyer Kimberly Kourt. “But on my own time, sexy clothes are fair game.”
Nothing says “professional and appropriate” quite like posing for Playboy.
Marriage: an institution so sacred that two gay guys could ruin it with their love and commitment. But someday soon we might be able to get out of this sacred tradition using our phones.
Already there’s a company offering some basic divorce information via iPhone apps. Robert Ambrogi’s Law Sites has the news:
If you’re married to your iPhone but not so sure about your spouse, then DivorceApps.com may have just what you need. It is developing a series of iPhone apps designed for people who are considering or in the process of divorce.
Brilliant. Just as the digital age is opening up new ways for divorce lawyers to be effective, technology might be able soon obviate the need for most divorce lawyers altogether…
We currently have a number of active openings for associate roles at US and UK firms in HK / China, Singapore and two new in-house openings. As always, please feel free to reach out to us at firstname.lastname@example.org in order to get details of current openings in Asia, as well as to discuss the Asia markets in general and what we expect for openings later this year. Our Evan Jowers and Robert Kinney will be in Beijing the week of March 25 and Evan Jowers will be in Hong Kong the week of April 1, if you would like to meet them in person.
The US associate openings we have in law firms are in the usual areas of M&A, cap markets, FCPA / white collar litigation, finance, and project finance. The most urgent of our top tier (top 15 US or magic circle) law firm openings in Asia (among many other firm openings that we have in Asia) are as follows:
• 2nd to 5th year mandarin fluent M&A associates needed in Beijing and Hong Kong at several firms;
• Korean fluent 2nd to 4th year cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 5th year Japanese fluent M&A associates needed in Tokyo;
• 4th to 6th year mandarin fluent cap markets associate needed in Hong Kong;
• 2nd to 4th year M&A / cap markets mix associate needed in Singapore.
In a land that is right here and in a time that is right now, a technology has arisen so powerful that it can replace basic human document review. Is it time to bow down before our new robot overlords?
First, here’s a little story about me: my life in the legal world began as a paralegal. My first case was a GIANT patent infringement case that was already six years old and had involved as many as five companies, multiple US courts, the ITC and an international standards committee. I knew nothing about any of this.
On my first day, my supervisor (a paralegal with at least eight other cases driving her crazy) sat me down in front of a Concordance database with a 100,000+ patents and patent file histories. “Code these,” she said. I learned that “coding”, for the purposes of this exercise, meant manually typing the inventor’s name, the title of the patent, the assignee, the file date, and other objective data for each document. I worked on that project – and only that project – for at least the first six months of my job. After a week or so, time began to blur.
What I know, in retrospect and with absolutely certainty, is that as time began to blur, so did my judgment. So did my attention to detail. If you could tell me that I did not make at least one mistake a day – one inconsistent spelling, one reversed day and month, one incorrectly spaced title – I frankly would need to see your evidence. I would not believe it. The human mind is trainable but it is not a machine.
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